Not It!
You Take It!
It was near midnight in Ponyville. It was cool summer’s night, a night when children sleep the best, and a time when lovers express their affection for one another. That is how Applejack and Rainbow spent that night.
The two mares lay close together in Applejack’s bed. The room was warm and had a musky smell to it, the two mares who occupied the small room were sweaty and breathed heavily. All this symbolized one thing:
They had just finished having sex.
The two mares have been together for quite a while now. In the beginning, they kept their relationship secret and to themselves, but as their relationship got stronger, they finally told their friends about their relationship who were all happy for them.
As time went on, their relationship would only get stronger and stronger. Well after Twilight’s coronation, almost right before Twilight’s castle was created, Rainbow had decided to do something she thought she’d never do.
She had proposed to Applejack. Not only because she felt it was about time, it was also just recently legalized.
To clarify, same sex marriage wasn’t illegal, but was highly frowned upon. To a point where couples who wanted to be married, but were the same sex didn’t bother with the controversy of getting married. It almost wasn’t worth it. However, couples did say they were married relation wise, but not by law.
Just recently, Ponyville became a same sex marriage hot spot, since most of the town’s population was female, it was difficult to enforce that rule. Also since it was a smaller town compared to Manehatten and Canterlot, it was one of the only exceptions Equestria agreed to. Ever since this was legalized, gay couples flocked to the smaller town just to be married. Once married, they would return to wherever they came from or would settle down.
Taking advantage of the legalization, Rainbow and Applejack got married as soon as possible. They were finally a legitimate couple. Not just friends, not just a couple, but a wife and wife. A married couple.
All around, everything went smoothly. Of course they did have bumps and given Applejack’s stubborn personality and Rainbow’s overachieving, and cocky attitude, there was bound to be dispute between the two. But in the end, everything was fine.
Rainbow’s eyes gently fluttered open. The cold, night’s air making the room a bit cold, but giving it the summer’s warmth as well. As Rainbow’s eyes became more open as she awoke, all she could see was a mound of blonde mane that blocked her line of sight. Moving her head away from the puffball of blonde locks, she could see Applejack’s sleeping face.
Rainbow stared at her for a while, still shocked and amazed that she was married, to a mare; and to one of her closest friends at that.
After laying a gentle kiss upon her wife’s forehead, Rainbow looked out the room’s window to find a beautiful night sky. Oh how she wished she could take Applejack into her cloud home, so that she could see nature at it’s finest. The blue sky of day, to the dark colored night.
Rainbow lowered her head back to the pillow, and began shuffling her lower body so she could get comfortable. However, her movements interrupted Applejack’s slumber. Feeling her lover begin to move and stir, Rainbow held still. Not wanting to wake Applejack from what she could imagine as a peaceful night’s rest.
But, her efforts were meaningless, as she discovered Applejack’s eyes, those beautiful green eyes, look right into Rainbow’s magenta colored eyes.
With a yawn, Applejack asked if it was morning, to which Rainbow replied that it was still night time.
Getting back into their sleeping positions, Applejack and Rainbow began to relax.
“What a night. Right AJ?” Rainbow asked as she propped her head up with her hooves.
“Sure was Rainbow. Sure was…” Applejack responded. But something sounded odd about her spouse. Rainbow almost always knew it when Applejack had something on her mind.
“Applejack? You alright?” Rainbow asked.
“Of course, Ah’m fine. Why do you ask?”
“Well, you seem kinda down. Was… ‘It’ not good for you?” Rainbow asked.
“No, no that ain’t it at all Sugarcube. It’s just… Ah dunno, Ah don’t wanna talk about it.”
“C’mon AJ seriously. What’s wrong?” Rainbow asked, now in a sitting position. Applejack joined her as she began to sit up.
“Well… We’ve been hitched fer what, two months now? Ah’ve just been thinkin’ and… Well…” Applejack couldn’t continue.
“What?” Rainbow asked.
“Well, y’know… Y’know how I have a big family right?”
“Yeah, obviously.”
“Y’see Rainbow…. Ah’ve grown to like the feeling of a large family. Like, Ah really enjoy it just bein’ the two of us but, Ah feel like… It’s not enough.” Applejack confessed. Rainbow was confused, what did she mean by that?
“What are you getting at AJ? Do you not feel loved or something? Because I do love you!” Rainbow said in defense.
“No, it ain’t that Sugarcube. Ah love you too, with all mah heart. But, what Ah mean is… Ah… Rainbow… Ah want a foal!”
Rainbow was in shock. A foal? Already? it was Applejack, she already has a big family why would she want another addition.
“A foal? Applejack, I don’t know. Other than Scootaloo, I’m not much of a fan of kids. Heck, I don’t like the idea of having children! I mean, they take up all your time, you’re stressed out at the end of every day and it’s just too much work!”
“Ah know it can be hard Sugarcube but it’s just somethin’ that Ah really, really want.” Applejack said in defense.
“But Applejack, last time I checked, which was like, about two hours ago, we’re both female. I’m no scientist but I’m pretty sure you can’t have a mare whose spouse is another mare be pregnant and have that kid share the properties of the two mothers.”
“Ah know but, Twilight told me about this spell she had found in that old library in that rundown castle, about maternity spells and fertilization spells. She told me somethin’ about one spell, and how it takes the energy, magic, and genetics of the host the spell is cast upon and takes another sample of DNA from the hosts lover and makes a baby.” Applejack explained.
“Well, from what I could get from all that, it does sound easy but Applejack, you and I can’t raise a foal! I mean, with you working all day and me not even knowing how to take care of myself. Heck, we don’t even own our own home technically. I mean, if you were a Pegasus it would be a different story, then we could live in my cloud house, but since you’re stuck on the ground I can’t really help you there.”
“Well Ah’m sure there are houses for sale, if we can’t find any, then me and Big Mac can build one.”
So far, this was gradually getting Rainbow’s acceptance but one phrase stopped it all.
“Wait, what do you mean by you and Big Mac?” Rainbow asked.
“Well… Ah was kinda hopin’ you’d be the pregnant one Rainbow…” Applejack confessed.
Rainbow spaced out. All she could think about was the image of her with an inflated belly and being stuck on the ground. When pegasi got pregnant, their wings couldn’t hold all the weight, so they would usually stay up in their cloud homes. But Rainbow didn’t want to be isolated from Ponyville within her cloud house, but she didn’t want to be stuck on the ground for nine months.
“Rainbow? Sugarcube? Hello?” Applejack said, waving a hoof in front of Rainbow’s face.
“I’m sorry, I spaced out a bit… But AJ! I can’t be the pregnant one! I mean, me? Pregnant? Please!”
“Well Ah can’t be the pregnant one! I gotta farm to keep up. And Ah know fer certain that Mac can’t keep the farm in shape all on his own. Besides, it’s not like you do much but laze around on clouds and fly all day.” Applejack said.
“Exactly my point! I need to fly! I was born to fly Applejack! I can’t go for nine months without flying! I have a reputation to keep up anyway. I don’t want ponies saying, ‘Oh did you see Rainbow Dash today? She’s gotten SO huge! She’ll make a GREAT mother!’ C’mon AJ, it’s simple logic!”
“Ah’m sorry… Ah didn’t know you’re image was more important than our family! Just forget Ah said anythin’! Goodnight!” Applejack said, sounding hurt by Rainbow’s statement. She quickly slumped back into her laying position and took all the covers with her.
“AJ, I don’t have any covers over here…” Rainbow said.
“Who said you was sleeping here?” Applejack said with an annoyed tone.
Angry as well, Rainbow snatched a pillow from the bed.
“Fine! I’ll just go to my house! Where only I can go!” With that, Rainbow made her way to the door. As she opened it, she turned her head and said,
“Goodnight to you too dear wife!”
With that, she slammed the door behind her.
‘Stupid featherbrain forgets that she’s in a house full of sleepin’ Apples’ Applejack thought to herself.
Soon after the commotion subsided, Applejack fell back asleep. Still angry at Rainbow for what she said.
~***~
Rainbow was flying up to her cloud house that hovered above Ponyville. She reached her doorway and opened it. She always loved the architecture of her home. Pegasi architecture was always better in her opinion. Since they worked with clouds, and like clay, clouds could be formed into any shape or size, making big construction projects easy and making crazy construction ideas possible.
She went upstairs to her bedroom. It wasn’t until now that she had realized how lonely it was in her home. How quiet it was, and how the wind from outside was the only sound from outside her home.
She reached her bed and slumped down on the soft cushion of her cloud bed. Usually, it’s softness would always put her to sleep, but tonight was different. What always felt like heaven, felt more like a hard, crusty couch cushion.
From her anger, to the guilt she felt, she was prohibited to sleep. Finally accepting defeat, she got back up and went to her bathroom. It wasn’t big, but it wasn’t small either. It had a bathroom’s necessities such as a toilet, a sink, and a shower.
She looked at herself in the mirror that was mounted above the sink. She ran her hooves over her scruffy technicolored mane, to try to get some of the bedhead ironed out. She then looked her face over, making sure there wasn’t anything out of place. She then focussed on herself. Not her face, not her mane, but herself only. In Rainbow’s mind, the argument she had just shared with Applejack ran through her mind.
‘All Applejack wants is a kid. How bad could it be?’ Rainbow asked herself.
“Uh I’m sorry brain but I don’t think I’ve told you that I don’t like kids!” Rainbow argued with herself.
‘But AJ’s you’re wife. You did promise to do whatever she wants, just as long as she does the same.’
“But this is different! I mean, I’m pretty sure you’d go insane if you were stuck on the ground for nine months!”
‘But Applejack needs to keep not only her farm in check, but her business as well. She can’t be pregnant. It’ll be hard for the both of us but maybe it’s for the best.’
“But, my reputation…”
‘Listen to yourself! You sound like a giant selfish piece of garbage! Is that how you want Applejack; your wife, to think of you? Last time I checked, she only married an arrogant Pegasus mare, not a selfish brat. She married us because she saw the good in us, even if we don’t show it that much.’
“Huh… Y’know, for my brain you sound a bit too much like Twilight.”
‘Well that’s simple, because you like to imagine yourself as smart and I should say, “Nerdy” when it comes to your imagination’
“Wha- No I-”
‘Don’t try to lie to yourself. Anyway, you need to do what’s right Rainbow. Do it for her.’
After a long pause, a long, thoughtful pause, Rainbow finally nodded.
“I’m gonna go meet up with Twilight in the morning.”
‘That’s the stuff! Good job!’
“Yeah…” Rainbow said with a blush, knowing that she had only complimented herself.
~***~
It was a more cloudier morning than usual for summer as Twilight began to stir awake. Now that her bed was much larger and was more comfier than her older one she had when she lived in the library, it was much harder to get up in the morning in time for her tight schedule.
With a yawn, Twilight sat up in her bed. She stretched her hooves and wings as she began to get up. As she got up, she felt some movement from the sheets and covers of her bed. She turned her head to see her new coltfriend Flash Sentry sound asleep.
Since he was given the week off by request of Twilight, he was able to spend more time with her, and over that time, they bonded, and did a little more things.
With a smile, she got up and made her way downstairs to her kitchen to brew up some coffee for the morning.
As she put in the beans and water, she heard knocking at the main doors.
‘Who could that be this early?’ She wondered. Sighing, she began to make her way to the doors. Since it was a good walk between the doors and the kitchen she sped up her walking pattern to catch the knocker before he or she left.
Opening the doors, she found Rainbow who stood with a worried and unsure face.
“Oh, uh, good morning Rainbow.” Twilight said, surprised that Rainbow had actually knocked instead of crashing into her home like usual.
“Morning Twi…” Rainbow said, looking down to the ground.
“Not to be rude but, why are you here?” Twilight asked.
“Uhh, I need to ask you something… Something important.” Rainbow said.
“Oh, of course! Here, come in. I just began making coffee, you want some.”
“Yeah, yeah I’ll have some…” Rainbow answered. As they made their way to the kitchen, it was painfully quiet. Once Twilight poured Rainbow her cup of coffee, Twilight asked,
“So, what did you need to ask?”
“Well… Did, AJ ever ask you about… Pregnancy spells?”
Twilight stopped her drinking of the caffeinated beverage.
“Yes. Yeah she asked about it. What about it?”
“Well… She and I had a fight over… Wanting foals and all that. And she had told me you had a spell that takes the DNA or whatever and-”
“I know how the spell works Rainbow, just tell me why you want to know about it.” Twilight said with a chuckle.
“Well… You see. I’ve been thinking. See, the reason why she and I got in a fight was because I said I needed to keep up my reputation as a fit, lean flyer and not some pregnant earthdweller.”
“Ah! She told you that she wanted you to be the pregnant one. I can see why you two got into a fight now.” Twilight said.
“Yeah well, I was thinking last night and she did make some good points on how she needs to run a farm and all that… But, I just don’t want to be the pregnant one! I mean, C’mon Twi, could you see me as pregnant?” Rainbow asked.
“Well actually…”
“Rhetorical question!” Rainbow exclaimed.
“Well Rainbow, I’m sorry if it seems like I’m rushing you but, where are you getting at?” Twilight asked, which surprised Rainbow. It was obvious as to why she was here.
“Well, Twilight… I was thinking and, after some time to myself… I… I guess… I’ll carry the foal…”
“Sorry what?” Twilight asked, her ears twitching, scanning for Rainbow’s voice to repeat the mumble.
“I said… I’ll carry the foal. It’s my duty as her wife to carry the foal…” Rainbow said almost pridefully.
“This is very noble of you Rainbow. Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. I love her Twi. I’d do anything for her.” Rainbow said, with a single tear beginning to drip down her cheek.
With a smile, Twilight’s horn began to illuminate. Suddenly, a spark of magic emitted from her horn and traveled to Rainbow’s midsection, where her horn was targeted. As soon as it phased into Rainbow’s midsection, it was gone, and the light disappeared.
“That is that!” Twilight said cheerfully.
“That was quick Twi. Didn’t you say you had just learnt this trick only recently?” Rainbow asked.
“Hm, well… Let’s just say I’ve had practice.”
~***~
Rainbow quickly flew to Sweet Apple Acres in search for Applejack. She landed near the barn and asked Granny where she was. Granny had informed her that Applejack was near the lake, bucking any apples Mac had missed.
Rainbow took this information and used it to find her wife. After some flying, she reached the river and found a ball of orange fur with a stetson hat kicking at apple trees.
Landing, she gained Applejack’s attention.
“Hey! AJ!” Rainbow called out.
Stopping her work, Applejack came racing to Rainbow and instantly took her into a hug.
“Oh Sugarcube, Ah’m so sorry fer last night! I didn’t mean ta get mad! Ah’m so sorry!”
“Look AJ, it’s fine, really. Besides, I have something to tell you.”
“No, no Ah have something to tell ya!” Applejack said as she kissed Rainbow’s cheek.
“Fine, you go first.”
“So, after ya left, I couldn’t sleep so Ah began thinkin’ about whatcha said about yer reputation and whatnot and I figured that Mac can handle this farm on his own, and Applebloom is old enough to lend a good helping hoof here.”
“What are you getting at AJ?” Rainbow said, asking with concern. Nervous as to what Applejack might say.
“Rainbow… Ah visited Twilight after you left and…Ah’m pregnant! You’re gonna be a mother!”
Rainbow’s eye twitched.
“No… No, No, NO, NO, NO!!!” Rainbow shouted in mortification.
“What’s wrong Rainbow?”
“I- I just got back from Twilight’s and she made me pregnant!”
Applejack was quiet. Rainbow’s mind was scattered and lost. With a chuckle, Applejack broke Rainbow’s panic.
“Heh heh heh. The more the merrier mah Pa always said.”
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You do know that this is fan fiction right? you can do whatever the F*** you want, don't like the pairing you are writing take it out of the equation.
Plus Flash is a joke character only there to hit on Twilight whenever she is in the human universe and nothing more.
Sorry about that, like you'r self i'm no big fan of the guy, but anyways lets talk story.
It was good, i personally could not find any mistakes with it. I'll give you a 8/10. Not perfect but something i would consider reading again and recommending to my friends.
Have a good day sir-and-or-madam
~Tobben
They both want 2 B the Pama ?
5966368 No they both ended up being to "Pama"
5966399 Do you know what a "Pama" is ?
5966448 Not a clue... Did you mean to type "Mama"?
Good job! It struck a good balance between serious and comedy, everyone was well characterised and dat twist dos! All in all.....
SEQUAL NOW
5966594 In do time, there will be a sequel. In do time.
I... fear that I can't support the praise given by some other comments already. It's a short story with an admittedly funny idea... and then, the ancient evil rises: 'but'.
First off, a little hunt for mistakes would be great. Found some here and there. Nothing too bad, but still too many for such a short story.
What really bugged me, were two things. One: You rushed quite a lot. It's a short story, okay, I got that. Still, some more exposition wouldn't have hurt either. A lot of those first lines sounded like 'let's get this done quick and get to the juicy parts already!'
What's worse - the main problem I see here - is the characterization. Rainbow Dash admitting her deep love for AJ? She sure feels it, but would The One And Only Rainbow Danger Dash really admit that? Rainbow also always praised and cherished her independence. And while talking to herself in front of a mirror - first sign of insanity...! Nah, just joking -, she reminds herself that she gave her word to... to do everything AJ asks of her? Don't get me wrong, that's probably just something about the phrasing, but that does sound a lot like slavery or giving up free will in some way.
Then there's their moment of giving in. Both admit they were wrong. The day after. Because they thought about it. Really hard. Maybe AJ isn't as stubborn as she was back in season one. She always was the most reasonable. Maybe RD isn't as stubborn as her either. But that still seems way too... smooth. Too fast.
Next would be Twilight. I can see both AJ and RD running to her in an ill-thought attempt to do good, although I would've guessed that AJ would be, once again, the more reasonable who thinks everything over again. What I can't see though, ever, is Twilight firing a pregnancy spell right away at somepony acting in the heat of a moment - TWICE. She's the nerdy, sometimes shy, always-trying-to-understand, diplomatic bookworm. She would try to bring them together, so they can talk things out. She would try to reason with both. She would try to give advice. Something like 'find our way and come back for the spell as soon as you're both ready and sure about that'. That... just wasn't Twi.
Aaand I despise Flash. Sorry dude, no love from me. Then again, I didn't consider his appearance while criticising, since that's more of a question of personal taste.
As I stated in the beginning, there was a funny idea in there. Your portrayal of the involved characters was off, though.
I'm sorry.
5966913 While you're criticism was good, you fail to remember that in the Author's note, I stated I nearly gagged at the mention of Flash. I hate the character too, I was just trying my hand at getting out of my comfort zone.
So thank you for the criticism. I'll take it into consideration for the sequel. Not just that, but I'll leave this criticism up just so that people can see it. Why? Because, I live by a simple quote that Walt Disney said.
-Walt Disney
5967113
I somehow feel like I should thank you for letting my comment linger around, but at the same time, my mind keeps telling me that this shouldn't be anything one should have to thank someone for... it's rather confusing.
Anyway, it's always appreciated. Not being met with pitchforks and torches just because I'm not stating that everything's perfect and stuff.
Regarding Flash... yeah, I admit, I sort of just... didn't saw that. Heh. Sorry.
I can't really... I don't know. Take him seriously. He's... not more of a character in the show than any other background-pony. He's just there for the sake of being there, he never got any spotlight, characterization, anything at all. I never saw the movies, I'm just not interested in them, but as I understand it, he's sort of a completely underdeveloped, out-of-the-blue-coming Gary Stue, lovable and nice and everybody's darling, just there for the sake of being the forced love interest for Twilight.
I don't know who had the idea of putting that dude up, of implementing that idea. It was a pretty bad one, though, and a rather obvious bad one, too. With traits like that, such a background, such a forced story and all those convenient circumstances, it's just nearly-impossible to build up any sympathy for that guy.
And he hasn't grown a more important character in the actual show either, naaah, he's never even really mentioned.
There's that.
Done with ranting about that guy. Sorry.
5966462 A Pama would be a mare that changes into a stallion, gets her wife pregnant, then changes back into a mare.
Tho in your story it would be the mare that wasn't pregnant.
ask Stardust00
Haha!!! I totally knew this was going to happen!!! It's much funnier to see it written though! Loved it!
5967113 What about me ?
p.s. I'm sorry.
Lol out of context that's quite the statement.
An interesting little story.
XD When I read the description, I was going nuts!
Heh, heh, this will be fun.....
OH. MY. PINKIE SENSE. They're mothers! WOO! Please write more!
The entire section about the legalities needs to be removed. In part because it isn't really needed or relevant, but mostly because it contradicted itself several times and was just a cluster-fuck in general.
Well, if it was just legalized then it had to be illegal before that. To legalize something is to make it legal, the opposite of illegal. This is what is called a binary solution, there are two possibilities and it must be one of the two.
Wait, what? No it was illegal... because you just said it was illegal. Not merely 'frowned upon' but illegal, because otherwise it would have been impossible to change its status to legal. Fine, whatever, we will just ignore the first part about legalizing it and say it wasn't in fact illegal in the first place.
Enforce what rule?! You just finished saying there had never been a rule! Like farting in an elevator, there is no rule/law against it but it's frowned upon!
Ok, exception to what? The non existing law against gay marriage? Furthermore saying 'you can only get married in this one small town because we disapprove of your totally legal but social unpopular mate' isn't really a compromise... or rational... or anything other than random and insane.
So it was illegal then? Because the way this is set up here isn't really how 'law' works. It is either local law or national law. If these things are local then "Equestria" didn't make it legal in Ponyville as a compromise because Ponyville did that on its own and the marriage isn't valid once they leave town. If it is national law then it is legal everywhere and they don't need to go to Ponyville. Furthermore something doesn't get legalized at the national level because it is convenient for a single small town, as you mentioned.
In summary, that section has NO relevance to the "Aj and RD want a foal but neither wants to carry it" plot of this story. In fact the entire thing feels like a terribly executed attempt at shoehorning in a political message. One which is so mangled I can't even tell which side you are on. What next? A fluffy story about the CMC playing with a puppy with a random paragraph about how 'smoking is bad'? Or good? Again, I couldn't tell.
6037750 media.giphy.com/media/zOVjALkVxHElO/giphy.gif
And?
I'll give you this friend, you took the time to write a speech about a fanfiction that was simply a side project. I applaud you.
reactiongifs.com/r/scsc.gif
I need sequel before ded
This story opens with an exposition dump of a lot of telling and not enough showing. it would be much stronger if the relationship between Rainbow Dash and Applejack was characterized to the reader via their present condition and through their interactions with one another rather than in expository statements of fact.
A thorough technical editing pass is also needed throughout to catch various grammatical errors (such as phrases like 'more cloudier' and the use of the wrong your vs. you're).
Some of the attempts at generating emotional impact here (such as when Rainbow Dash tells Twilight that she'll volunteer to be the one who gets pregnant and then sheds a single tear) come off as flat and artificially forced, and neither in character nor something that readers are built up into enough investment in a character to really make the reader feel it themselves. It's just sort of awkwardly there.
There also some more general content editing issues with some dialogue that doesn't sound quite right coming from some characters, and characters doing things that seem really out of place for them (I'm looking at you, Twilight, and your almost malicious seeming failure to inform whichever of them came to you second that their partner was already pregnant and that they should go back and discuss this further rather than causing a completely unprepared for simultaneous second pregnancy).
And finally, this ends with no real resolution. One real wallop of a conflict is set up, then the narrative just... cuts off there. This isn't satisfying, it's the opposite of the satisfaction and sense of some form of closure concerning the primary conflict that a good story should offer the reader. This feels like it should be just the first chapter in a much longer piece of work that goes a lot further into exploring the obviously unexpected and challenging situation that's just been created for Applejack and Rainbow Dash.
Who's Flash? I don't recall seeing an oc tagged as a charictar
Sequel. NOW.
Well, AJ did say she wanted a big family...
6765936
I second the motion!
That ensing thoug!