• Member Since 27th Apr, 2015
  • offline last seen Jan 11th, 2019

RadiantBeam


I live on a farm of plotbunnies.

T
Source

After the Battle of the Bands, a new threat makes itself known in the human world. The problem is, when the creature you need to defeat gains power from the magic of love and friendship, how do you defeat it? The answer seems simple enough: use the power of negative energy.

The only ones who can use the power of negative energy? The Dazzlings.

Oh, dear.

7/7/2016: Now with cover art designed by the very generous Novel-Idea! Thank you so much!

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 115 )

I'm gonna guess that she's a Succubus, :duck:

This is off to a great start! Let's go! :rainbowdetermined2:
s6.postimg.org/5ul2jmext/continue_Monkey.jpg

This is a good story so far. I'm interested in seeing where it goes.

What an awesome way to kick this story off! Beautifully descriptive prose. I especially love the way you started and finished the main chapter with "it was a beautiful night". It has a wonderful effect!

I will be watching this story intently. *begins staring at the screen*

so changelings/

Ooooh, I'm loving this so far! Always enjoyed the concept of two opposing sides banding together to beat a common foe.

OOOH! I'm loving this. Really hope you do the Dazzlings justice when you bring them in. I really want to see them go toe to toe with what I'm assuming is a succubus or some version of one.

Please sir, may I have some more?:fluttershysad:

NEVER make allies of enemies! They will know how to cancel out the others' weaknesses and fortify their strengths, all leading to two LARGE helpings pain and butt-kickings

Uh... A succubus?

My best guess is a succubus, but I may be wrong.

I’m totally willing to wait on the face punching until we know what we’re dealing with.

Who are you and what have you done with Rainbow Dash? :trollestia:

she found she couldn’t look away.

Oooh boy.

The perfect vision of beauty, truly flawless!

Wait. And Sunset sees Twilight? Sunlight shipping confirmed!:heart:

her otherworldly beauty suddenly began to seem very unimportant.

You have a wonderful way of words.

Eager to see what our mystery succubus's name is!

I know you already had it started, but wow that was fast! And of course, I'm going to have to draw that succubus; it's too cool not to. Just out of curiosity, did you design it yourself, or is it influenced by another pre-existing design?

Still very beautiful if you were into that thing

xD I somehow missed this on my first read-through!

5956653

Don't worry. Punches will be thrown in the next chapter. :rainbowdetermined2:

5956953

Sunlight shipping confirmed indeed! I couldn't resist, though since this isn't a super shippy story there will only be some hints throughout the chapters. Still, once I realized the villain of the piece was going to be a succubus, I had to write Sunset seeing Twilight. It was too perfect to ignore.

And thank you very much! :twilightsmile:

5957232

I modeled her off of a few different general succubus looks. I mostly mixed and matched traits to get an appearance for her, since hilariously enough both Tirek and Sunset's demonic form have similar coloring and traits to a succubus. So I guess you could say her design is based off of traditional succubus appearances, but I mixed and matched some things to get the final product.

So, nobody even thinks to bring a high-powered rifle On the stake out?

5958711

The default for defeating magical beings in the show seems to be just throwing more magic at them, so.

5959041 In Equestria there don't seem to be any firearms, and I suppose high school girls don't have access to a modern armory either, unless Big Mac has some hunting rifles they can borrow. Even then, if a rock hurled by a top athlete does minimal damage, then a light rifle may only leave a bruise.

5959236

You're more or less correct. The succubus's power levels will be more firmly established in the next chapter, but safe to say unless one of the girls got off a killing shot immediately (at either her head or her heart), a high powered rifle would only bruise her and piss her off.

5959282 what about a blessed silver bullet?

5959295

I... don't really know. As I mentioned in my author's note, I've FIM'd the heck out of her and back, so she really shares no roots with the traditional succubus other then the fact that she's called one.

5959574 Fair enough, and it wouldn't really be much of a FiM story if they just ended it by shooting the monster anyway. I'm just surprised by how often in stories in a modern setting, where a monster appears, everyone looks for the elaborate magical Macguffin to defeat said monster, and no one even considers using firearms.

BTW, I like that in your story Starswirl realized the error of using another plane as his own personal prison planet, at least towards the end. I hope "dumped monsters on innocent creatures to make it their problem" is included in the traveling exhibit about him.

5959585

I tend to headcanon that Starswirl was a bit of an arrogant jerk, so sadly he didn't realize the error of his ways until he was too old to do anything about it. I'm glad you enjoyed that little touch all the same; Twilight certainly won't enjoy the fact that her hero sent another dangerous Equestrian creature into a world that really wasn't equipped to handle her.

5958068

Haha, now that you point that out, it is pretty funny; a lot of the show's villains do share succubus traits! Interesting process though. Thanks for sharing!
I wonder if she will be vulnerable to sound at all due to her bat features, specifically her ears. I guess I'll have to read to find out! xD

5962650

Oh my God, she looks exactly as I imagined! That's so cool, you're so talented! Thank you so, so much, she looks perfect! :D

5963147
8D I'm so glad I was able to capture her as you meant her to look!
You're very welcome! ^u^ And thank you for the compliments!

5959585

"dumped monsters on innocent creatures to make it their problem"

To be fair, it wasn't a bad plan until SOMEPONY brought magic over there. Looking at you, purplesmart.

:twilightblush:

5967744 Nerdicorn made it worse, but those sirens were still feeding/manipulating people in diners before Twilight showed up.

5967783 So they were getting a few dozen people to argue now and again. Given how they were planning to get the world handed to them on a silver platter...

... pfft, Nerdicorn.

This seems like it'll be a very cool fic!:rainbowwild: I hope it keeps going.

5988211

Thank you! I'm working on the next chapter now, so hopefully I'll be able to post it soon.

Awesome chapter! Loved the battle. Venus, as we now know her, is one scary lady. I also like how you've kept Sonata ditzy, yet also made her somewhat sociopathic. It's both cute and disturbing. Adagio and Aria were fun to read too, especially their exasperation at Sonata's cluelessness. Hope to see more again soon!

6011164

Thanks very much! And I'm glad that you've enjoyed how the sirens are being written so far. Sonata so far has been a lot of fun especially, and we'll be seeing more of her in later chapters.

Awesome chapter! That battle was a lot more intense and and higher-stakes than I thought it would be, I've gotta' say. I did suspect that the magic blast would backfire if they used it on Venus; they're lucky to have gotten out alive at all! I also love the touch of the magic reinforcing their bodies as well. I personally headcannon that native equestrians are naturally more resistant against blunt damage due to the natural magic within their bodies, so that's pretty cool to see a form of that idea here. ^-^ (Plus it allows for more intense scenes without breaking the suspension of disbelief!)
This chapter would make for a really awesome visual novel. If I had time, I would totally do that... xD

Oh, by the way:

Very few people pointed at the demonic hell beast and shrieked, “RAGING SHE-DEMON!”

This line just about killed me. xD

 but it was still Equestrian magic,

Not only that, it's Harmony magic, the mother of all magic.

“Well, well,” she murmured. “How about that.”

And great! Now the big bad has an even BIGGER head start in terms of power.

someone had to die for me to test this new magic.”

OH FUCK NO YOU DIDN'T!

Wait, in love?

PinkieShimmer?

“Shut up Sonata, we’re not under attack! It’s just… oh.”

What in the world are the odds?

 Aria paled

  ARIA is afraid. That's bad news.

The girl called Pinkie Pie wasn’t human.

AHAHAHAHA! Surprise, Venus!

Pinkie in the dirty, dazed

Pinkie in the dirt

“that’s ‘cause our pendants got destroyed a few weeks ago!

  Fucking hell, Sonata.:facehoof:

“And the sound that we hear in our hearts, makes a crescendo!”

That could work.

The beam that Venus had been using abruptly cut off as she, too, choked, feeling the same loss that the girls did.

So now EVERYBODY is powerless! Normal-Human-Party at Pinkie's place.

Great battle, great way to introduce the Sirens, and to both establish the threat Venus poses while simultaneously giving them a chance of success that's not Venus holding the idiot ball. ETA on the next chapter pls? I need moar.

You'd think that since magic in the series has no set rules, it would be easier to write about. You would be wrong.

No kidding, right? It means you get to make up your own rules, but then again, you have to make up your own rules. But I am getting a kick out of this story. The EQG universe needs more adventure stories!

I'm kind of curious as to how the sirens are going to be much help without their powers. Like Sonata said, they're basically human now.

6011426

If you can believe it, the fight scene I posted here was actually toned down; I originally wrote at something far more graphic and violent because at the time I was in a foul mood, but then I realized it broke suspension of belief even if the girls had Equestrian magic helping them survive the fight (which is a headcanon I subscribe to, personally; the idea fits really well and it gives me a way of getting the girls battered without them ending up dead). And all I have to say is if this fight was more brutal than you expected, I'll be interested to see your thoughts when I post the final confrontation between Venus and the Dazzlings at the end of the story; I may need to use the Gore tag for that one. :applejackconfused:

6011495

First, thanks a lot for catching that error! I went back and edited it, so thank you again for that. The "in love" line was actually supposed to be another SunLight hint building off from chapter one, but I guess I wasn't clear enough about that. :facehoof: Ah well, live and learn, and Venus is only half right anyway. At this point the best Sunset has is a crush that she hasn't figured out yet, but Venus toying with her head like that is going to make Twilight's presence very interesting for her.

6011630

Glad you're enjoying the story so far! And yeah, I hear you; literally the only established 'rule' we have for magic in EQG is that for the girls it's driven by music, and... that's about it. So a lot of freedom otherwise, but then you have to try and make it fit in with the fact that otherwise there are no rules. It was certainly a fun experience to write.

6011990

That'll actually be a plot point, so it'll be addressed and handled in the next few chapters.

6014084
Oh wow! Funnily enough, I can actually believe it. I can see where the scene could have easily become much more intense. Especially since Venus has claws (gutting was mentioned). Not to mention the sheer brute strength- bones can only withstand so much before they break. But yeah, now I'm really curious what the original draft looked like! xD (I'm a terrible person)
I love darker fics, actually, and do actually love a good bit of appropriately-used violence. Honestly, I was surprised that you took it as far as you did because most fics I've read that weren't focused on that element have really toned-down fights or half-hearted fights with minimal impact. They rarely go the full measure, which sometimes hurts the writing. (not that I'm saying every story needs to be a violent blood-fest; not at all. However, the more realistic and dire everything is set up to be, the more the fight scenes need to be in line with that.) Knowing that their lives really are on the line in this fic is exciting, since now the stakes are raised and a mistake can indeed be deadly. The suspense will be heightened because of it! :D
(Thanks a lot! Now I'm already excited for the final showdown, and I have to wait! xD )

“We were just in the area,” she said. “Heard sounds of your handiwork, thought we’d say hi.”

“Hi!” Sonata chirped, waving cheerfully.

I lol'd. XD

I'm liking how this story is shaping up. Like others have said, the fight with Venus ended up being a lot more violent than I was expecting, but I happily rolled with it. Lucky for the Rainbooms that the Sirens just so happened to be bumming around in the park, otherwise things might have turned really ugly. What follows should prove interesting now that the Rainbooms and the Sirens have joined forces, tenuous though their relationship may be.

Will be looking forward to future chapters!

6015809

Thank you very much for your comment! I'm glad you've enjoyed the story so far. :twilightsmile:

6016396

I'm curious about how is Sunset going to repair the Dazzlings ' amulets for the next fight. A little help from Twilight and Starswirl's journal?

6020554

I don't want to spoil too much of the story, but yes, Twilight is definitely going to have a hand in helping the Dazzlings get their powers back. She won't be particularly happy about it, but Venus's threat level doesn't leave the girls with many other options.

Minor nitpick:

That was good. If the change was happening, that meant they could do this without Twilight. It wasn’t something they’d known for sure until now.

Check out Rainbow Rocks's end credits: they are all "ponied up" (to use the novel's phrasing) together while singing "Shine Like Rainbows," without Twilight.
They also transformed individually in each of their teaser shorts released before the movie. They never actually used magic in any of these instances, but you had this line only as they are transforming, not as they are using magic.

6023993

Ah, that's bad wording on my part. :facehoof: I meant to imply that they didn't know if they could "pony up" and use the magic in a combat situation without Twilight's presence, but it didn't come across that way. My mistake.

Ooooh, wonderfully menacing right off the bat. The journal entry from Starswirl was also utter genius; leaves a strong setup for a "monster of the week" sort of situation, even if it seems from the description you'll be mainly focusing on this changeling and/or succubus. :pinkiehappy:

6034076

This story will be focusing on only one monster, yes. :pinkiehappy: I'm leaving the door open to come back to the idea if I ever want to, but this story in particular only focuses on one monster and the Dazzlings.

6034350 Awesome, and rather well played!

I have to say, this chapter was also very good; I love how Sunset ended up bumping (or rather, crashing) into the Dazzlings, and the plan of escape. There's been a lot of discussion about the fight scene, but I found it just perfect - tense and harsh, but not so over-the-top or brutal that I couldn't more-or-less see it happening in-show. You have my attention!

6036968

The fight scene was the one part of the chapter I was the most nervous about, so I'm happy to see that so far it's gotten a very positive reception. I hope you continue to enjoy future chapters!

MOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :pinkiehappy:

6040523

Glad you've enjoyed it so far! :twilightsmile: No promises on the next chapter, but I'm working on it.

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