Ponies have always used Princess Luna's stars as guides, a source of entertainment, or just to look upon in wonderment. Yet of the thousands of questions posed to the sky in general, one stands out, and that answer is about to come to Ponyville. Are we alone among the stars?
Cecilia Barnum is about to answer that question as the remains of her ship crash into the Everfree Forest. Yet when the technology to get home fails do to a simple error, which leaves the only other solution. To become the queen she is destined to be. To accomplish such a simple task will take a kingdom to accomplish, a kingdom that comes under the eye of those looking for leverage, and puts everypony in the middle. Can the lessons of friendship and the powers of harmony restore the lost confidence in Cecilia?
Rated teen for possible gore in later chapters, Romance for the later chapters that Cecilia's relationship becomes known.
--------------
Its interesting, and the dialogue was realistic, but try checking your grammar. You have several misplaced commas and run-on sentences. The story will flow much smoother once you fix that.
I'm glad you find it interesting. I'll work on getting the problems fixed.
I was expecting my grammar to be an issue at first.
Correcting it...well lets say I'm learning things about English i didn't learn in school.
What is this a crossover of?
6322849
Tenchi muyo series for jezabelle and Cecilia's companions and piracy guilds. I wanted to be safe rather than sorry.
Wow I was going to ask if you planned on continuing this before I decided if I planned on reading it, but that seems to have been answered
Anyway, I'll give you my thoughts once I've read it, the coincidence was just too amusing to not mention.
Bit of advice though, get a picture for your account. Cover art for stories helps get attention, but it's not always easy to get a fitting picture, and people will read it without cover art, but when people see an account with the default picture it makes it look like the author doesn't care about the account and by extension the story. It can be literally anything, from your favorite pony to a devilishly handsome cat in a tie.
6324394
Funny you should mention a fashion conscious feline. I had some artwork commissioned the first time I went to Gen Con. Best weekend of my life, but I'll take your word for it and see if I can make it work to get the twins into a single picture.
I do intend to finish it, I promised as much, and good or bad I'll be proud of it. So hopefully when you read this I'll have my picture up, and you'll get a good laugh from it.
Two chapters in and I'm enjoying this so far
You write well and have set up a very interesting world. I'm not too familiar with Tenchi Muyo, but if I'm reading your comment correctly the majority of this is from you with only a few details taken from Tenchi, correct?
Two things I'd like to point out, which you may have already realized by now. In the first chapter you switch scenes twice (when we jump to Fluttershy's point of view, then to Cecilia's) without a line break. Fimfiction has a horizontal line button that works well, but some authors prefer to use other things. Breaking it up makes it less jarring for the reader, it took me a second at first to realize what was going on when we switched to Fluttershy.
The second thing is there's an awful lot of exposition in chapter two, but we can chalk that up as a necessary evil, since the scene did call for an explanation. No matter how interesting the back story (and don't get me wrong, it was very interesting) reading huge blocks of exposition feels like reading a text book. Even people who enjoy exposition are probably not going to be invested enough by the second chapter.
Thanks a bunch, grammar is not my strong suit, and any suggestions will most likely get implemented with time.
Still reading, just slowly
I was planning on finishing before commenting again, but I'm a slow reader without too much time to read these days, so who knows when that'll be, so I figured I'd give you my thoughts up The Burning Sky. I'm sure this comment will run entirely too long because I like to see myself speak.
First off, let me start by saying that Friendship letter was great. As soon as I saw what you were doing there I was like 'oh god don't cry' then I did anyway. The sense of loss throughout the fight was great too, despite Twilight having the most tragic death (by virtue of being shown directly) it was Ditzy that hit me the most. Honestly I saw the mass revival coming with how many important characters were dropping, but it didn't lessen how much I felt for the living characters.
Also, before I had commented on awkward scene transitions, and you've improved considerably. It's helped by the scene breaks saying where the new scene takes place (I know you didn't do it because I suggested it, but breaking the scene was the very thing I suggested) but it's more than that. You've just gotten better at it. This chapter's numerous scene changes kept things very interesting, watching the action unfold in different places from different character's perspectives. Excellent job there.
I continue to be impressed by your world shaping, possibly because I suck at it. While I'll admit Isis's prophesies went over my head I found them, and her role in general, rather interesting. I also love the scope of the story, drawing on so many canon characters. In particular I think Trixie made a great addition.
A couple things not quite working for me. Whenever something happens directly on screen you do well with describing what's going on. A few early chapters had me confused in places, but not overly so, and it didn't take long for you to improve on that front, by this point everything's clear. The exception is when things happen between chapters or off screen. At the end of one chapter Twilight and everyone else are all having a party, at the start of the next Twilight's in the hospital. I'm all for slipping ahead to the next significant event when the chapter changes, but summarizing what happens in between could use work.
And my biggest problem so far: your OCs get their way to easy. I get that Cecy is essentially a god, and Anna is powerful in her own right, but at times it feels odd how they can act distant it straight up cold to other ponies and no one cares. I understand it's part of their personalities, which of fine, but for example Luna in this chapter changes her tone at the weirdest possible time. She initially says that Trixie needs to stay in prison, then this happens
Anna has directly challenged Luna's ability as ruler and threatened to use force on her subjects. Luna is understandably not okay with this, until Anna actually does use force on the guard, then Luna changes her stance completely, allowing Trixie to leave. Even if the guard was unhurt it just doesn't make any sense for that to change her opinion.
Anyway, I am definitely enjoying this story, and don't let my overly wordy nitpicking make you think otherwise
If I seem wordier on the critique than the praise, it's just because I always want to make sure I explain myself better when what I have to say isn't so positive. There certainly is a lot to like about this story 
6342843
This is why I need comments to find things like that. I appreciate all the good and bad things you've spoken about.
Burning sky is one chapter I really want to improve on considering so much happens. I almost want to split it in two.
When I go to do the chapter rewrites, I'm going to add in the whole process of getting Cecy back to what happened at Starfall Mountain after Rarity left. I see your point on Luna and Anna, perhaps a little more argument threatening on violence and the guard getting socked as a result of high tempers. I dunno, I'll transcribe your important points to my editing notebook.
Keep them coming.
6343243
To quote Neil Gaiman (my favorite author, and an excellent source of advice even if you don't read his work)
Which I agree with, so I don't generally like to offer specific suggestions, but this is a possible solution I thought of for the Luna-Anna thing. Feel free to ignore it because it is of course you're story and nobody but you knows how it should go.
After leaving Anna Luna speaks to Celestia. Luna and Celestia are typically used as opposite foil characters (although it's debatableif we're just going by the show cannon) so perhaps Luna is upset at Anna's statement but is convinced by the more level headed Celestia to let Trixie go. Celestia already does more or less give advice towards that end, about the importance of Anna and Trixie's friendship.
Like I said, just a thought. When I said the problem was the characters getting their way to easily before I think I misspoke. It's more that nobody ever has a problem with them (except antagonists) and nothing will make readers more bored of your characters than that. Even though she'd still be getting her way by having Trixie freed having Anna and Luna's egos clash more would make Anna more interesting as a character.
Side note, after reading that chapter I had a dream ArchAngelsWings turned to stone and woke up very distraught
I love the history of the Lulamoons. Different takes on Luna/Nightmare Moon's rebellion are one of my favorite things and connecting Trixie's family to it worked very well. Having her explain it through the magic show was fitting for the character and amusing to read. While she's not one of my favorite characters normally I am really liking Trixie in this story
Looking forward to seeing what happens with Chrysalis
I like Spike's initial interaction with Trixie here. It was very in character for him, protective of Twilight in a kind of childish way. I wish you had kept it going longer, made Trixie prove to him that she didn't have any bad intentions. Everyone's a little too amiable and quick on forgiveness, I think. I do like the angle you went with the changelings, but I'm wondering if Twilight and Celestia ought to be more wary the whole thing is a trick of some sort.
Another thing I'd like to bring up is how formal the dialogue is. Some characters it fits perfectly (Luna, Rarity, etc) others it seems odd (In this chapter mainly Spike)
On another note, I absolutely love the logical romance. On a site full of stories about secret burning desires and fated lovers this is such a relief. I'm a huge believer in the idea that most real romance starts with two people just deciding to give it a shot, and I hope you continue this sub plot.
Also that ending was great. I was already excited to be learning more about your world with Cecy's explanation on the nature of the necklace and amulet, but then Nepta's appearance and accusation was even better. Cadance and Shining Armor's appearance made for a great chapter break as well.
6466376
Well i guess I could have spike grill Trixie like Applejack did Big Mac at the end of Filli Vanili. That could draw it out a bit more.
The way i handled the changelings was pretty good, I liked it while hopefully trying to stay somewhat original. I believe Twilight was quite suspect of a trick even after she was told the truth on the train and during her questioning throughout her trip to the orphanage. As to Celestia, 1000 years verified on the throne experience gives you an edge, not 100% infallible, but I want to give her the benefit of the doubt she has a handle on things.
As to formal dialogue, yes I'm guilty, only because I'm terrible at making accents or such without freaking out that I'm making horrible grammar errors. (not that I don't have thousands already) I can only try to improve on that
I so want to start edits and add the chapter where the mane 6, spike, and Luna knuckle down and actually help Cecilia. An even more in depth explanation of the ribbon will take place there since it will be used more often. Spike's use of the ribbon and Nepta's escape through her sharing enhancement of Spike's body gave me a chance to combat dark artifacts like the Amulet of Arcadia Celfus, Alicorn Amulet, and the horn of Sombra(which i totally know is going to come back to be in the show so putting it here now and calling it)
I wanted an artifact that was dangerous, but not so corrupting in manner to completely take over the host. In a way Spike got what he needed to help Twilight, but it came with consequences in the loss of his masculinity as a male in form and he picked up a imprisoned goddess in his head that could really help him overall. The damage done to his pride is far more than anything Cecilia would do to him for breaking his word to her. That is why she isn't kicking up so much of a fuss about it.
Shining Armor and Cadance, i had to bring this couple into the picture, you can't have Cecilia running all over Equestria, and the leaders of the Crystal Empire don't get to meet her at all. Originally I was going to have them meet in the Crystal Empire, but given what happened with open war, I decided it would be more logical that Cadance and Shining would come back to Canterlot to be part of any defense planning. I dunno, it just seemed more logical to have them come there then have Cecilia go there. That and Glaxia has a huge fan crush on Cadance.
Oh yes I did, I made ponies a thing to the military units on Glaxia who have access to view our colorful equines. They have their favorites, storage space shall be crammed with pictures, favorite ponies will be argued over glasses of beer or the loading of ordinace into weapons.
I can't believe this took me over a month to read
I really do enjoy this story, despite my slow reading which can be blamed on me reading slow as molasses (190 words per minute as I found out recently...) and general business. I try to read at least an entire chapter at a time, but once I hit the long chapters finding time to read them all at once proved impossible.
Anyway, my thoughts on this chapter. I like Arcadia more than in the last chapter. Not that I disliked her before, but we get a better look at her here, and she proves interesting. I'm wondering how old she is? Relative mental age, since I suppose changelings may well age at a different rate than ponies/humans. Her and Spike play off each other well.
I like Blueblood here as well. Not so much him (I have no real opinion on the character, so as of now in this story he's just occupying the role of new antagonist), but I like the potential he brings to the story. At the risk of sounding a bit like a broken record I'm hoping his plan adds more personal drama for Arcadia and the changelings. I... really like drama
I want to throw a thank you out for those of you who have given this story a try, added it favorites, or tracking it.
A big thanks goes to Krickis for pre-reading the latest chapter. The second part will have my authors notes with the official accreditation.
Yeah, this isn't really working for me. Too much irrelevant info dump for me to more than skim, too much Sue-like wish fulfilling self-insertion for me to care, and not enough of a story hook for me to want to.
The concept isn't bad: alien soldier with a troubled past crashes on a remote world and tries to learn to be "human" again. But tone down the "middle school". Making her a genetically engineered goddess superweapon wise woman who scolds princesses was way too much and she's unrelatable by consequence.
7216059
Thank you for giving it a try, and saying it was a decent concept at least.
This isn't a story, its an OC biography.
10448796
I appreciate you giving it a try anyways