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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I say that the grammar and speelings are off sometimes but I can't complain cause I am not an english major in literature. I do love how you put effort in the thoughts of each character it suits the theme of the story (time of oppression and all). As for the world building, it lacks a punch but is sufficient. Great in ways of dialogue, character development, sprinkles of realism. I'd love to see more as I read onward. Continue on good sir, and may the almigty bless you with the tools you need.
8108238 thank you, and while the spelling and grammar is faulty, I try my best to edit. Still glad you enjoy the story.
I like that Shadow seems to be affected by the free feeling from flying and that it has carried over, but not replaced her previous feelings. Unlike other writers, you didn't hand-waive it.
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I like to try to keep with continuity with my work.