- Member Since 10th Nov, 2013
- offline last seen 3 hours ago
BronyofMeddlers
Just a writer going through on life with a couple of meddlers passing by.
BronyofMeddlers
Joined 10th Nov, 2013 ·
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Nice, I like the storyline!
I just found this and I have to say it's a good start.
What no comments? So few likes? Sure there's bad spelling but dam this is looking like a good story so far
8105398 Well to be fair, this is a very 'uncommon' story, doesn't' really follow the whole 'anti-FoE' trope or ideology in a sense. but thank you for the positive feed back. To be honest I thought this story would have more dislikes than likes at the end of the week!
Man I want MORE keep it up
8105820 *chuckle* well, for a brief moment, I thought you would say something other than that to be honest.
No offense, but there wasn't really much of a debate. The only counter argument they really came up with was "he's evil". There's not really much resistance from the, well, resistance.
I say that the grammar and speelings are off sometimes but I can't complain cause I am not an english major in literature. I do love how you put effort in the thoughts of each character it suits the theme of the story (time of oppression and all). As for the world building, it lacks a punch but is sufficient. Great in ways of dialogue, character development, sprinkles of realism. I'd love to see more as I read onward. Continue on good sir, and may the almigty bless you with the tools you need.
8108227 well, it's less of 'he's evil' and more of, 'can we trust him enough since he's evil in the first place?' There's a lot of risk to them, as they don't know if they will be betrayed some how, or if this is a ploy, or trading one evil being to another. In a way? The Resistance has a lot to lose and can't trust him fully enough as they're on the edge of their organization falling with the Caribous hounding at them.
8108238 thank you, and while the spelling and grammar is faulty, I try my best to edit. Still glad you enjoy the story.
...you really expect me to buy the Caribou would just be able to get away with this?
8109074 probably not, but hey, greed is a powerful and shortsighted vice.
8108227 Its not like they have much to go on anyway all they know is he's a third major power who thinks their enemy is pathetic and is wiling to work with them at a cost of course.
Just discovered this story and loving it. Huge fan of the games and love Lawful Evil characters keep up the splendid work.
8120093 Wait...do you mean Jerry being Lawful Evil? *thinks* huh...in a sense he is, I honestly thought he was Chaotic Good in a sense.
And thanks, to be honest I'm still expecting the 'OMG this is terrible, this isn't part of this, or that' comments who might think this story is terrible for not being up the 'expectations' of a FoE story.
I think jerry is like an anti-hero. Not really a villain of evil but the villain for the greater good. It is still evil for it uses unlawful things and methods unlike a hero. So as long as he does not become entirely heroic in a sense of sparing a another villain then he is still the bad guy.
Like the difference from batman and that other guy who actually hunts and kills criminals unlike bat who just beats them senseless.
8120632 Although granted he does control a entire horde of Minions , so technically he is both a anti-hero and a Lawful Evil at the same time. Mostly because, well...hes in a complicated spot after all.
I'm telling y'all right now, while reading Dr. Kalvarn's dialogue, I was reading it in Morgan Freeman's voice.
BTW, this was one of the longest Foe stories I've read in a while. As a gift to your talent I leave you a quote: to be loved by his subjects, feared by his enemies and respected by his allies. What more could a true ruler ask for?
8120320 as for the not holding up to the expectations of foe this is reclamation story and there is a whole bunch of them out of there so I think most that don't like it have learned of this genre by now and avoid it if they don't want it
Kemp up the good work
8121587 Thank you, to be honest I was a bit concern when I brought this story out, mostly because some people may assume it was a sort of Displace story or human being villain story added with FoE.
8121344 *chuckle* thanks, not to mention....this isn't even the halfway mark of the story.
You can't change a nation's culture without longterm occupation. It's how romans shaped most of europe.
8125723 Well, with the magic of Harmony and possible decades of time, perhaps it can be changed.
8109074 They used large scale mind control even if some males had resistant enough minds most of the military seems to be male so they essentially destroyed the equestrian military and turned them into a sleeper cell. Even if there was enough of a resistance to fight them not many regular citizens would have the heart to kill mind controlled innocents (I.E. regular ponies who could possibly be turned back if they got a brain scrubbing) and that's befor the Caribou's army came into the picture.
I've realized something the overlord isn't evil he's an agent of balance. If good holds to much sway in the world he destroys it to bring balance(like in the wii game) and if an evil gets to powerful he destroys it and takes over(like the empire).
8134963 *chuckle* well, that may be true, but like the old saying goes: power corrupts, and absolute power really make things shaky in term of morals.
Nice little breather of a chapter. Interesting to see how things move forward.
Nice to see some of the grim darkness of reality seeping in. Warms my little black heart. Hooray for moral ambiguity!
*chuckle*
caribou is the word for both singular and plural like deer in fact caribou is another name for Reindeer.
damn I don't know why but I gave him Richard's voice there
some of Richerd best quotes are
feel free to use any of them Oh and I feel I should mention his battle cry is "For Pony"
8150442 *chuckle* *Adding latter quotes for lolz moment*
at this point.. hmm.. I say he is in the "fuck everything else up" category right now.. or more like a DESTUCTON overlord.. with a small serving of DOMINATON as a side?
eye needs to calm down..i am sure IT knows this saying.. "hero to some, villain to others" and I know your reading it eye of fate.. you may have just set him on the path of dominaton.. also..i'm out of popcorn..gotta pop more
Are they trying to find a way to not pay him back the gold he raided? He still gave them the gold why would it mater where it came from, how is that a loophole?
What is that last word?
8150521 Probably, won't say how much he'll do...yet.
8150711 Glad you enjoy. But careful... Eyes of Fate might decide to reply to your message.
8153010 I'll give you a hint. By meme song.
8152164 Because to them, they would be in massive debt, debt they are unsure of how to payback as for all they know? Jerry could demand high and near insane demands of paying back, maybe even adding a large interest as they will be unable to say no due to them being unable to stop him if he does conquer Equestria.
8153225 I know why they're trying but the logic on how doesn't seem to follow and I assume the overlord would agree. He's still giving them money even if it's stolen from the ones occupying the nation it shouldn't matter at this point he's like a Privateer. (Privateer's were hired by a monarchy to steal from the enemies of that monarchies IE hired by the british to steal from the spanish.) pirate+mercenary= Privateer
8153217 I really need to rewatch that movie cause I have no idea what's going on.
On pretty much every fic like this that read I have a list of suggestions on plot points or even how to improve power in universe. Can you tell me if any of these are good ideas for your story.
1) generals: Spree or other soldiers are given pseudo overlord armor allowing them to collect life force, this life force would be kept separately and not turned in to minions allowing them to gain the perks of sacrificing for better armor without having to sacrifice live minions.
2) domination vs mind control: I think it would be interesting if his domination spell could overwrite the caribou's mind control I know that full domination would anyway but I mean if he uses the spell for just a second they would be free without being mindless slaves to him.
3) inventors: I've always liked flim and flam and if the domination spell works the overlord could have motorized mounts for his minions I mean there pretty much the only individuals that can make complex magitech in eques.
4) elites: minions trained to control other minions, allowing for groups of minions to last for longer on their own to scout, gather intelligence, gard nether gates, or to dig cave like bases for the overlords nether portals/resistance.
5) mixed minions: I copied my comment from another overlord story
Red/Brown: breaths fire like a dragon and tuff.
Green/Brown: climbs like spider with strong fingers
Brown/Blue: can summon ghostly wolves as steeds/regen from hits.
Red/Green: has flammable gas like a zippleback from how to train your dragon.
Red/Blue: blue fire burns with magic energizing minions and absorbs enemy magic.
Green/Blue: plant magic
6) SUPER CHARGED MINIONS:
Brown: bigger and like the juggernaut will charge into walls to break them and enemies alike.
Reds: walking infernos with the ability to explode and not die from said explosion.
Greens: can cloak groups of still minions.
Blues: magic shields and the ability to raise zombies not just minions.
But dear reader of comments I would like your speculation on these minions If you have a better idea on what they could do please comment and add to the discussion.
8153294 Well, on one hand you are right...but on the other hand he's is technically damaging and stealing from their nation in a sense, and that while the Resistance Heads could use that as a loophole to not fully pay him back for damages he made on their land.
8159447 And as for your suggestion? Me and Riddle talk a bit on those...and while some have merit? Some others won't work. Mostly the pseudo armor of trying to replicate the armor-- and trying to make sure the Minions won't obey anyone else beside Jerry in the case someone decide to overthrow Jerry and have a minion civil war.
Another thing is that the elite minions is, well admittedly? It might work, but the major problem is of two things. Age and time. As well as training, it is possible-- but it's highly doubtful it will happen.
As for the dominaion and mindcontrol? Theres a major problem with that, while in theory it could possibly try to fight the mindcontrol effects, it would largly just override the mindcontrol and replace the it with the overlord domination spell.
And for the mix breeding? Won't work. Mostly because they don't born normally and the magic they used or the magic that makes Minions...aren't actually known, even by Jerry. So thats a moot point.
And as for the inventor parts...well....you don't want to know.
In short they are good and creative, but Riddle brings up a good point in our slight talk. Things have to be monitor, no need to OP Jerry more than usual, eh?
8159568 Understandable but the pseudo armor wouldn't actually allow them to make or control minions it would only let them collect life force and either sacrifice the pure life force for better armor or let them give it to the overlord.
8159606 Well, the thing is, that the game logic wouldn't really allow that. As well as while it may not come up to mind with pseduo armor, there's one thing you forgot. the gaunlet with the gem. It itself allows Jerry to grab lifeforce to get the Hives to give him new minions, so even IF, and thats a big if, Jerry somehow made pseduo armor...it would be useless in gathering lifeforce. Not to mention theres something else that you might possibly forgotten. Harvesting helmet+beetles+Tower Heart able to give said beetles in Dungeon= spamming hours of gaining large hordes of Minions to use.
8159650 True the Harvesting helmet+beetles works for him but this was just an attempt to give spree and a few others the extra damage and regenerative capabilities of his armor honestly I assumed that if you brought that into the story only spree would get the armor and it would only be mentioned once or twice and I think the overlord's gauntlets connected to the tower heart and that's where the life force goes when he collects it spree's armor would act as a battery till the smelter uses the life force. I always assumed that as soon as the overlord gained a orb of life force it would be absorbed by the minion hives and that's why he had to sacrifice live minions that's why I suggested the battery armor.
8159979 Naw, it wouldn't work like that. Especially more with Spree rejecting the added 'boosts' of regenerating and defense on her armor in the earlier chapters. Side, I doubt that the 'pseduo armor' and it working like a battery won't even work. Game logic and all.
It's very frustrating, watching Jerry muddling through his half assed plans. Watching him be a covert as a brick upside the head. But what is most frustrating of all is the resistance leaders. Perhaps it's the bad grammar and poor spelling but they come across as really inept. A request for better cover from an agent shouldn't be ridiculed so lightly. They are risking their lives to do the most dangerous and import work of any resistance, info gathering. Yet everyone seems to react like he was talking of defecting. I get that Stone is a bitch and a bit of a man hater, but even she should know how important Intel and R&D is. She shouldn't have to be reminded every other chapter. If anything her concern should be keeping her troops supplied and fed. But the only time she ever opens her mouth is to be a bitch to some male or a voice of dissent against the Overlord. It makes her less believable as a charecter.
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why didn't he just roll up his sleeve? i'm pretty sure he could have said "the doctors held the skin but i'm still mostly hairless.
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why do you write end sometimes?
what was the comment i'm confused also an