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Fillydelphia private eye Looking Glass is hired by a beautiful new client to find her missing fiancé, Silver Coin.  However, the simple missing pony case gets complicated quickly, and the hard-luck gumhoof soon finds himself embroiled in a plot that could have consequences for all of Equestria.

First Published
13th May 2012
Last Modified
23rd May 2012
#1 · 185w, 2d ago · · · Chapter 15 ·

Let's see. Good description, well-written, funny, and it's a genre I love. Take your like, follow, and fav. You've earned them.


#2 · 185w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 15 ·

>>584586 Hey, much appreciated! :yay:

#3 · 185w, 1d ago · · · Epilogue ·



#4 · 184w, 4d ago · · · Epilogue ·

An excellent and involved story very much a tribute to Marlowe, I personally liked the pulp detective style a lot and you really have recaptured it perfectly in this.

#5 · 181w, 6d ago · · · Epilogue ·

Definitely got to check this out, I love Detective stories and wanted to do a Pony one of my own. :twilightsmile:

Love the character name and sounds ace! :pinkiehappy:

#6 · 176w, 2d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

You're getting a lot of mileage out of the 'pencil in the mouth' gag, aren't you?

#7 · 176w, 5h ago · · · Epilogue ·

I couldn't resist the pull from the mention in the Blueblood stories. Fine story. Really deserves more likes and whatever.

#8 · 175w, 3d ago · · · Epilogue ·

Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh :rainbowkiss:

This was amazing.

And the title suggests a series maybe? :pinkiehappy:

#9 · 175w, 2d ago · · · Epilogue ·


There is a sequel planned and partially outlined!  However, I'm currently sidetracked by an ongoing series of stories about everyone's favorite inexplicable royal, Prince Blueblood.  Once that's done, though, I do plan on getting started on "Looking Glass, P.I: Savage Nights."  Griffons, changelings, gang wars, and more freakin' politics.  Should be fun :pinkiehappy:

#10 · 175w, 2d ago · · · Epilogue ·

Please make this a series! I loved this one and would love to see more! You are a very talented writer. I hope to see more from you! :pinkiehappy:

#11 · 170w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

I was taken in at the "Bellicose drunks" line. I can practically feel Marlowe in this. Definitely looking forward to reading this.

#12 · 170w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 9 ·

Hmm well Hot air is up to something. nobody's that helpful *suspicious face*

#13 · 169w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Looks good and Im looking forward to reading this. One thing I noticed; you said pony was xHands high. Was that intentional and referring to dragon hands? Or did you perhaps mean xHooves high?

#14 · 169w, 4d ago · · · Epilogue ·


That's... a tricky question.  "Hands" don't really exist in Equestria, but, "hands" is also the unit of measurement for determining a horse's height.  So let me just stroke my mustache and waggle my eyebrows mysteriously at you while I say something cryptic.


Yes.  :moustache:

#15 · 159w, 5d ago · · · Epilogue ·

How is this still languishing at less than 400 views? This is criminal!

#16 · 153w, 1d ago · · · Epilogue ·

Thank you for the story!

Pretty good style and well written.

I'm looking forward for the sequel :)

#17 · 134w, 4h ago · · · Epilogue ·

I would say this story really struck the noir mood, though I didn't read enough noir to be allowed to say such things. :derpytongue2: Either way, from what I can tell, the mood was really enjoyable, the pacing felt right, and the editing was solid - although since I read the .txt file, I think I'm not too competent in this last regard. Since I'm not a noir or dark fan, I had my doubts (slight as they were), but fortunately you proved me wrong!

The only moment I would criticize is Nightingale sparing our hero's life. I mean, Looky already knew too much, and Nightingale could enact his plan herself, without his help. Or alternatively, if not she herself, one of her henchponies.

Also I would've kinda liked to see our protagonist ending up with his ex again, although I understand that noir is not a genre for knights in shining armor and happy endings. It still felt a little dissonant when he demanded for the safety of a mare he just met a few days ago, but not for her ex - but I guess he just couldn't forgive her. Kind of a shame.

What I didn't like, though, is the epilogue - I mean, obviously you wanted a sequel hook, but this letter felt rather out of genre. You could've just written an author's note or something, but the epologue made me feel that almost everything our hero accomplished (and consequently, the story itself) was sorta pointless. (Not to mention that the sequel never arrived. :pinkiehappy: Although I'd place my money on Nightingale being the changeling spy!)

I loved, however, the guns - horseshoes analogue. That bit was a nice touch!

#18 · 127w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Ahh, the old Guy Noir style. XD

#19 · 127w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 9 ·

Hot Air is not trustworthy, methinks.

#21 · 127w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 10 ·

Pony gives chance?

Pony gets jumped.

#22 · 127w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 13 ·

So bankers are evil... I have noticed a trend in your stories.

#23 · 127w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 15 ·

And I read the Prince series before this... :)

Good old-fashioned emoticons.

#24 · 126w, 4d ago · 1 · · Chapter 14 ·

Wow, Crown was an IDIOT. Hadn't he ever read the Evil Overlord List?

#25 · 123w, 6d ago · · · Epilogue ·

>>947180 So its been a year

#26 · 53w, 2d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

four and a half hands tall

I hope I'm not sounding nitpicky, but four and a half hands is 18 inches. Even if you're measuring to the shoulder, a foot and a half tall hardly sounds like a 'large pony.' :unsuresweetie:

#27 · 53w, 2d ago · · · Chapter 4 ·

simply, hearty, and cheap

Do you mean 'simple, hearty and cheap?'

“The ones that I could, yeah.”

Ouch. :fluttershyouch: Prepare for incoming tragic backstory.

#28 · 28w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 7 ·


#29 · 24w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

She inspected the ancient wooden chair I reserved for my guests and wisely decided to remain standing.

Wisely? So Looking Glass knows it could collapse at any second and leaves it there for his guests to sit in anyway? Is it a test or something, or does he just like to annoy his clients?

“He is a large stallion, four and a half hands tall,

hands? Ponies have hands? Or did they adopt the minotaur measuring system? While a bit confounding, the real issue here is that it's inconsistent. In the following chapter, you call them "freet," and in chapter 15, it becomes legs.

Maybe suspicions of diloyalty?”


#30 · 24w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

and a few uniformed cops were standing a city-mandated ten freet from the front doors while they smoked and bitched about the heat.

1. feet

2. inconsistent, called them hands in chapter 1, legs in chapter 15

The floors were a simple white tile, chipped and cracked in most places from the thousands of hooves that have tread its surface,

Had tread its surface, not have. The floors WERE chipped and cracked, so thousands of hooves tread its surface BEFORE that. Thus, you need past perfect tense, not present perfect.

The main lobby wass mostly a waiting room,


#31 · 24w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 4 ·

I made my way to a nearby diner and ordered hibiscus and gravy–simply, hearty, and cheap.


drifting down well-paved streets and across perfectly-manicured lawns from blocks away.

“I have someone expecting me,” I said in my best Manehattan voice.


There, I found enough carbage cans and old boxes to build myself a makeshift staircase,


which were–of course–plated with gold.

You used -- before. You keep switching back and forth between -- and –. Consistency!

He was exceptionally skinny and had yellow coat, a graying mane and a thin mustache,

a yellow coat

#32 · 24w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

a mining magnate of some reknown,


#33 · 24w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

I carefully dropped down a one level at a time,

remove a

#34 · 24w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 7 ·

This was all I needed, Cammy stirring up old emotions I'd thought song since settled.

long, not song.

'Celestia, I'm so lucky to have a filly who will stay by me, even though this.'”

through, not though

#35 · 24w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 8 ·

I approached with a pleasant a demeanor as I could muster,

as pleasant

but I thought already knew the answer.

I thought I

#36 · 24w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 10 ·

and drug out the fireproof metal box where I kept my backups.

dragged, not drug

#37 · 24w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 11 ·

I tried to shrug, but my arms didn't cooperate.  I looked to my left and found a yellow-and-black pegasus hovering in place, holding me up from under my front leg.

Forelegs, not arms. Change "from under my front leg" to "from under my shoulder" or "by my legpit" to avoid repetition.

If I can just fine something solid,


#38 · 24w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

“You sent me out to Emerald Park, and then you told Nightgale I'd be there.”


#39 · 24w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 13 ·

And anypony trying to come in by air would have to deal with a squad of armed, skilled, and highly-payed pegasi.

highly paid.

Blackguard gestured with his horn towards me and Gold Coin, and two of his guards broke ranks to drag us after him.


We stared into eachothers eyes,


#40 · 24w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 14 ·

“Many genuises are mistaken as such.”


Almost there, just a few more legs.

inconsistent. Hands, feet, legs.

Crown suddenly jerked and went rigid.  The bloody tip of a spear emerged from his chest.  The light around his horn dimmed and then died out, and the knife dropped to the ground.  He turned his head as far as he could, straining to see his murderer.

“That was for Gold,” said Hot Air, still bound and leaning heavily on the spear.

The spear is still impaling Jewel, who is still standing up. How can he lean on the spear?

#41 · 24w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 15 ·

Apparently, a mole in the F.C.P.D had lured Calla and Cammy into an ambush by Nightingale's colts.

F.C.P.D? You always called it F.P.D. before. Also, remember a . after D.

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