Well my name is Vanessa-Wesline but everybody calls me Vanessa/
All Spike the dragon wants is respect in the village of Cheng, but ponies always treat him differently because he's a dragon. One day when the military starts asking for soldiers, Spike decides to join the army so he can bring honor to his family... and himself. And with honor comes respect right?
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this feels really rushed.
Well, this a rushed. If you want to make it longer and less rushed, try describing the scenery, and maybe the characters. Maybe add more than one scene into a chapter. Just a suggestion
I'm writing my own ponified version of Mulan, and was horrified to see someone beat me to the punch! Having read it though, it seems entirely different from the direction I'm heading with mine.
5834648 Don't worry. I think you're totally safe.
Perhaps you should get an editor...you need an editor.
If you were struggling to reach the word caount , maybe you should have written two chapters before submitting. Is Spike going to disguise himself as a pony? Because the deceit was a pretty big plot element of "Mulan."
5834648
Hope you will post one of yours soon. I'm personally really want it to be a real mare!
Just from the title, I can see that there is no effort put in this story. You are just rehashing the plot of Mulan, changing only some words. And from what I'm reading in the comments, you are using even less words.
5834648 you're not the only one planning on it.
5834995 Definitely an editor. And a copy of the script. And some practice with characterization. Both characters are entirely off, and the whole chapter was jumpy and hard to read.
I know you all want this.
I love for you to add more into the first chapter and beyond.
Build the world around them and the characters. I can see this becoming a great story.
Just take your time
5849412
That awkward moment when your cathy song is interrupted by mass genocide.
When are you going to update?
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WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO UPDATE YOUR STORY!? I WANT TO SEE SPIKE GO THROUGH BOOT CAMP!