Penned IN

by Qwix

Chapter 1: A Whole Different Life

Morning in the Golden Oaks Library. Only the dust stirred in the air, dancing in the new rays of light that had just begun to peek into the windows. Bump, bump, bump... the sounds of hooves now broke that delicate silence. Twilight descended from the upper floor, followed by a minute purple dragon carrying a briefcase. As the dragon set the case down, he popped open the lid and glanced up at Twilight.

"I still don't get it... You all find a pony—what was his name, Pennaprose?—in the same spot you said that meteor struck last night. How did he even survive? Rocks are heavy, you know. Especially space rocks. Those taste like dust."

Twilight, gaze unfocused at the pony lying in the hastily made cot, said nothing for a while. The dragon grabbed a pillow from the floor and smacked her in the head with it. "Hey! Spike, what was-?"

"You zoned out again. C'mon, you were doing that all last night while we dug through this briefcase you brought back! What's this, I wonder...?"

Spike reached into the briefcase and pulled out a thin, folding piece of plastic. He took an experimental bite. "Bleagh... doesn't even taste good. I thought it might have been some weird sandwich, but I guess not..."

Twilight lifted the object from Spike with her magic, reproachfully saying, "Spike! That's not yours! Now go fix breakfast for three, he might wake up soon..."

Spike grumbled and walked into the kitchen. Twilight's gaze returned to the pony in the cot, unfocused again. She muttered to herself, "He's right... nopony should have survived getting hit by something like that. Well... besides Rainbow Dash.

"Unless... was he actually that meteor?" she asked herself.

She tore he gaze away from him, eyes wandering back down into the briefcase. There, she spotted something that appeared to be a book. She glanced back at the kitchen, then lifted the thing out. It was indeed a book, but one Twilight was not used to. She flipped through it in wonder; grids filled each page, some of which were filled with numbers. She closed it in confusion; the title read 'Sudoku'.

"...The hoof is sudoku?" she wondered aloud.

"Breakfast's ready!" Spike announced. "Who wants pancakes?"

Startled, Twilight let the book drop to the floor. Spike, returning from the kitchen, was balancing plates filled to the brim with omelets and pancakes. From over the crisp warmth of a stack of pancakes, he looked over and spotted Twilight blushing and the book. "...Ah. Touché, Twilight," said Spike. "Anyways, think if we covered his face in syrup, he'd wake up?"

Twilight, still blushing out of hypocrisy, snapped out of it at the remark. "Spike, he's a guest for now," she said. "Let him wake up on his own."

"What if he's in a coma?"

"Spike!"

"Just noting. Though I know I wouldn't be able to stay asleep if there was food to be eaten. I'll just set this here..."

He set one of the plates by the bedside and began into his own. Twilight, eating her own omelet a little wistfully, decided that nothing would get done by staring at an unconscious pony all day. There was errands to run... She finished her breakfast and levitated her plate into the kitchen sink. "Spike, I'll leave it to you to watch him until he wakes up. I'm going a little out of town to get some things," she said.

"Riiiight, riiight... leave it to little old me," assured Spike, waving his fork around. "Wait, if he wakes up before you get back, what do I tell him?"

"Answer his questions. If he needs anything, get it. I asked Fluttershy to drop by sometime today with some bandages. Help her replace his shoddy splint, okay?"

"Got it!"

"Well, see you later."

Twilight trotted out the door, an air of readiness about her. The door shut. Spike watched; as soon as the door closed, he picked up the syrup bottle and chuckled to himself. "It's gonna be a biiiiiit boring, watching a pony sleep. Let's see if I can fix that... heheheh..."

---

There was a knock on the door. Fluttershy's head poked in tentatively. She asked, "Um, hello? Twilight? I brought the bandages. ...Um... Anypony home? Spike? Where's– Spike! What are you doing to him?!"

Spike looked up, syrup bottle near empty. Pennaprose's face was covered in maple syrup, omelets over his eyes. Spike's eyes shifted back and forth, searching for an excuse. Finally, he said,"Um... breakfast mud mask? Hey look, I'm just trying to wake him up faster!"

Fluttershy rushed over, brushing the omelets off his eyes and onto the floor. She took a roll of bandages out of her bag, saying, "You don't rush these things, Spike! The poor pony fell out of the sky, it's a miracle that he broke no more than a leg! Now, go get two rags please. One for the syrup on his face, the other one damp, please."

Spike scurried, scooping up the omelets and eating them before leaving. Fluttershy unraveled a length of bandage, tearing it off and using it to re-affix the hastily made splint from last night. She muttered to herself, "Gee, this was too rushed... I told Twilight that caring for another living creature out of a book would only get her so far. This splint barely works..."

Spike returned and handed Fluttershy the damp rag. He leaped up on the cot and began wiping up the syrupy mess. As he wiped and Fluttershy wrapped, Pennaprose began to stir.

"...Mrph... hr... wh... huh? Wha...? Mmph! Bleh! The heck!"

Spike, oblivious to Pennaprose's stirring, wiped over his mouth and spilt a little syrup into his mouth. Fluttershy looked up from her wrapping.

"Oh! Good morning! Don't move too quickly, you're still injured..."

Pennaprose lifted his head, surveying the area. He rose one hoof to his mouth in confusion, then promptly looked at it in equal confusion. He opened his mouth and bit down on it.

"Ow! ...What the heck...? Who glued giant marshmallows to my hands?"

Spike and Fluttershy glanced at each other, then Spike spoke up. "Um... Pennaprose, right? What are you doing?"

Pennaprose looked up. His eyes were a calm and deep, emerald green, but they only held confusion. "You tell me! Last I remember, I... um... wait, hold on... a really loud sound. And um... where exactly are my fingers? Why do I feel like I'm wearing a winter coat? Who are you? Where am I? What?"

Fluttershy held a nonplussed gaze. "What are fingers? Do you know, Spike?"

Spike looked a little dazed. "Er... do they taste anything like a ruby?"

Pennaprose merely hung his head and sighed. "Oh well. No one has answers. But where am I, really? I assume this is all a silly dream. Talking animals, I mean really... Really lucid dream though... Hey, lucid! Maybe I can fly!"

He scrambled out of bed, falling face first into the floor. A muffled 'Cubes!' was said. Fluttershy helped him up, saying, "You aren't dreaming. You should keep off that hoof for now."

Pennaprose, a little punch-drunk, twisted his head behind him and noted, with some surprise, his back leg. "...Huh. That's new. When did I have hooves? Wait...", he said as he did a double-take, "I have a tail!? Oh that's awesome! Oh, where's my laptop...!"

He dug into his briefcase; Fluttershy merely kept wearing a look of stoic confusion, Spike a wide-eyed look of innocence. As Pennaprose unearthed the piece of black plastic, he muttered, "Huh... What bit this? Oh well, as long as it works..." He flipped open the lid and promptly squished the keyboard with his hoof. He glared at his hooves intently, eventually saying, "...How now? Can't type with these things... Geez, there goes that idea."

Pennaprose looked up, noticing the expressions of the other two. "Um, sorry? Am I missing something? Oh right, where are my manners? I am... eh... oh god, what's my name again?"

"Isn't it Pennaprose Lochflow?", said Spike. "That's what's embossed on your briefcase."

Pennaprose's gaze glazed over. "...I'm not sure... I feel like I'm forgetting something... my name... isn't Pennaprose, I'm certain of it.... but... bah! I don't know anything. But since I'm as clueless as you, I'll roll with it. Call me Pennaprose."

Spike traded a significant glance between Fluttershy then said, "Well then. Pennaprose it is. You asked where you are, right?"

"Yes. And why do I have hooves and when I am and why I'm a pony and not a human and what I am doing here and-"

"Come again? What was that about humans?"

"Humans? Well, I am one. Don't let the– geez, I need to wash this coat..."

Pennaprose promptly got up and wandered straight into a wall. After bouncing off of it and rubbing his muzzle in irritation, he looked around until Spike asked, "What are you up to now? And Fluttershy's right, you really should stay off that hoof."

Pennaprose, halfway into the kitchen, craned his neck and answered, "D'you know where a shower is? There's a lot of ash in my coat and it's bugging me. And don't worry about the leg, I feel fine."

"...Upstairs. And if you say so..."

He rushed up the stairs, leaving an awed silence behind. Spike turned to Fluttershy.

"Hey. Fluttershy. Did you understand half of what he said?"

"I'll wait until Twilight gets back. If she can't figure him out, then we'll try to get him to check into the hospital's psych ward."

"Right."

---

It was some time before a knock on the door sounded. Spike hurried to open it; it was Twilight, looking a little exhausted. Behind her was the camp equipment form last night loaded onto a cart.

"Would you believe me if I said Rainbow Dash was still passed out at the camp spot from last night? I ran into Pinkie, thankfully. She carried Dash off back to Sugarcube corner while I gathered up the blankets and things we left on the hill last night."

"Really? Was there any cake left?" asked Spike. "Oh uh, by the way, Pennaprose woke up. He's upstairs taking a shower."

Twilight perked up, swiveling her head to the staircase leading up. "He's up? What about his leg?"

Fluttershy chimed, "Oh, it doesn't seem to be bothering him at all. He was asking a lot of weird questions though."

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"

Spike answered, "Oh, things like where he was and where the shower was and why he wasn't a human and who we were and-"

"Come again? What was that about humans?"

"That's what I said too! There was also that thing I bit... apparently it's called a laptop. Thought he could fly, I think he think he's dreaming; he also walked straight into a wall at one point. I'm... not sure if he's entirely sane."

"...A wall," said Twilight flatly. "Humans, hm..."

"Twilight?"

She turned tail and wandered towards the staircase, casting an expecting look up the stairs. "Well, I know a few spells that can verify that. It might be that even though his body is fine, his head isn't. At any rate, thanks for sticking around until I got back Fluttershy."

Fluttershy, who had wandered over and fixed the cot, looked up with a pillow in her mouth. "Oh, it's nothing, really. I should really be on my way, though. I promised Angel that we would go on a picnic today. I need to go and prepare that... bye!"

With that, Fluttershy hovered out the door and shut it quietly behind her. Twilight turned once more from the staircase and trotted over to the briefcase, still lying with it's contents scattered about on the floor. "Hm... Spike, do you remember that mirror in Canterlot castle? The-"

"-One that only opens every thirty moons to another dimension? Yeah. No thanks to going back to that mess of a place. Sunset Shimmer is still over there and oh ho no way am I going near her again."

"Yes that," said Twilight. "We both know from that mirror that humans are real... Pennaprose might not be bluffing."

"It's... still a far-fetched tale. He could also just be a few entrees short of a dinner."

"Or a few entrees extra. He could be more sane than us, for all we know."

"Um..." said Spike. "You might want to hold off on that judgement until you hear him speak."

"Why?"

The sounds of running water abruptly stopped from above, followed by some clanking noises and a muffled exclamation that rhymed with 'buck'. Pennaprose reappeared at the top of the staircase; his winter white coat gleamed bright in the midmorning sun. His spiked back mane was sea blue with a black fill.

He noticed Spike first and said, "Hey, don't worry about the bar soap. I checked it for poison, it's safe. Didn't even taste like cheese, though... Also, don't mind the fact that the soap has a huge hoof-print in it. I slipped on it. Awful hard to hold soap with these, um... anvils," blathered Pennaprose. He examined his hooves for a second until Twilight coughed politely; he looked up. "...Oh, um, hello? Who are you?"

He was looking directly at Twilight, who was staring with her mouth slightly agape at Pennaprose in blank shock. Spike noticed, then grabbed a pillow quick from the cot and smacked her in the face. She jumped a little at the strike, managing to sputter out an apology. As she recovered, she said, "Pennaprose, right? This is my house you're in. I'm Twilight Sparkle."

Pennaprose trotted down the stairs. "Well, okay. If that's the case, then I don't need to ask where I am. Besides the fact I still have no clue where I am. Quick– am I dreaming? Or is this some government-inspired hoax designed to get me to confess something? I'm sure I would remember more than I do, but..."

Twilight glanced at Spike, who merely shrugged. "Well... you aren't dreaming. Spike said something about humans... are-?"

"Yes. I remember quite clearly that I am human. Well, was human. I was am human. ...I think," said Pennaprose, scrunching his nose in annoyance. "Now I have hooves and am talking to pastel ponies and mini dragons and eating cheese soap. Like that yellow one. What was her name, Shutterfly? Um... that's not right... Dang, so this isn't a dream?"

"Yes. Do you... feel alright?"

Pennaprose dropped his gaze, a thin line of uncertainty creasing his brow. Eventually he looked back up, smiling and said, "Oh, everything's... fine, I guess... Geez, now what do I do...?" He lowered his head and trotted back to his briefcase. "What am I doing here...?"

Twilight followed him, asking "You... don't have anywhere to go, do you? You're welcome to stay here for now, if it helps."

He looked up again, sudoku book dangling from his horn. "Um, alright, thanks! But... tell me, I've been dying to know since I woke up... Where am I, really? What is this world? How am I gonna work this thing...? And what is the purpose of this thing-" he said, gesturing towards his horn, "-on my head? Am I due somewhere to joust? Because it feels ridiculous."

Twilight glanced at Spike, who merely shook his head and said, "Everypony's been looking at me like that today . Why?" She sighed. "Well, if you're human, then there's a lot to explain..."

He bent over, dropping the sudoku book back into the briefcase and pulled out a pair of slim box-shaped glasses. Twilight grabbed them from him with her magic and placed them neatly on his face.

"Well, let's begin..."

Comments

[Blackguard]

I want you to know something. I've done something that I've never done before. I've given you thumbs down simply because of the description of the story and nothing else. I haven't even bothered to read this when there's such a glorious mess in the description that reading it would only waste precious seconds.

It's overly flowery and with, I'm assuming, a desire to sound more grand than it actually is. Ease up on the five dollar words there. There's no reason to use "machinations" especially when it's used incorrectly. It means a scheming or crafty action. Unless you're inferring that this is what it is a more common way of putting it would be "powers" or "events".

[Qwix]

5794709
Thank you for living in Canterlot; I will take your advice anyway.

[grammar404]

5834681 Have you watch doctor who? This dialogue is like how he sometimes act.

[Fluffy-Boi]

5998213 I am thinking the same thing! I am also reading it in 10th Doctors voice.

[Qwix]

6063611 Coincidence, then: I don't watch Dr. Who at all.