This story is a sequel to CMC All Grown Up
It has been a month and Rumble and Sweetie are back from their honeymoon. They are now going through the rest of their lives with their little filly, Emerald. Emerald is a sweet little filly whom you shall get to enjoy some of her life with!
Is this the surprise? I'll read it
Time to read.
Can you change the first line, it's confusing.
Not bad dictionary
Not bad, I didn't see many errors and it tells it's story. I liked it, easily an improvement over your previous work.
Oh god XD the first chapter was good, now I have to read the second one.
I laughed so hard when I read this
5785308 OH SHUT UP!
Omg I'm emeralds friend!! So honored it could use a proofreader, and the pacing was a bit fast, but other than that, I can't wait for the next chapter!!
5785300 were Emeralds friends
5785319 *we're*
5785322 Is it a problem if what was meant to be said was, Thunder Lightning?
5785319 um, it says Thunder Lightning...
5785322 hey XD
5785309 Why should I shut up? I really loved the story!
5785337 you really need to catch up...
5785331 oops sorry XD that's still cool!
5785327 That's not a story error, Fluff said were as in past tense not currently, in stead of we're which is "we are" meaning currently. if she put we in front of were it would be grammatically correct.
5785327 and no. not a problem.
5785343 lol
5785338 Ummm I just complimented your story... What you mean"catch up"
5785333 Don't you mean Thunder Lightning anyway?
5785341 XD yup
This story is great, far better than any of yours I've read. However, the critic inside me wishes to point out that this story falls to your usual problem: lack of description. Otherwise, I've only got nitpick to say about this. For instance, it's spelled "Prequel".
A fine job.
5785591 fixed the spelling error! And was it supposed to be
5785654 Silly me, "A fine job".
5785781 lol
Oh, hey, there's your story! But, before I read, I want to tell you one thing... look in the popular stories section.
5786012 *Major scream so loud it burst your ear drum*
5785331 BOOYA
5786401 lol, like your prize?
5786402
BOOOOYAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE IT
5786412 great!
And Rarity missed the chase lounge and hit the floor with a 'crash'
Better get Spike
Wut?
baby !
Who?
Me!
She beat ya to it yikes !
could you change 'while' to 'who' on second line,
---->It reads like Rarity's two months pregnant <-----holding her belly. . .
I'm sure Spike wouldn't mind.
Wut? who said anything about getting married?
cool.
I've been a little busy.
5790844 Spike, go home! you are not married to Rarity in this story!
This was so awesome!
5805310 yea, but if that's where you are starting, you still have a lot to go!
YAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!
CUTE!
5805599 thanks!
Lovin it!
5805620 yay!
5805623 HEHEHEH
5805635 lolawola
I loved this! But wouldn't it be confusing if the reader hadn't already read Crystal Lily? I have, but I'm speaking for the other readers great job. I'm off to read the next chapter now!
5820801 SSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHJHHHHHHH
The MIGHT IT! Can't wait to see who the it is
5821076 I should probably start working on the new chapter huh?
5821320 If you want!
Hmm.. It's a bit fast, and you could work on your pacing. I don't know if it's just the format or what, but I find it hard to read. And I thought they lived at rarity's?