Epilogue
Her legs leaning on the rail, mane whipping in the wind, she let out a sigh of content.
She still had trouble believing it. Weeks had gone by in the blink of an eye, her brother and her scrambling for a plan, moving around funds and getting a new contract for a fishing agreement. Fry had not stopped hovering around for the whole duration, and Celestia forbid she ever slept in.
It didn't matter that she needed a bit more sleep than before to compensate for the enchantment, Fry rained hell down on her if she did not get up in time. Of course, she understood the sentiment. Her gaze lowered, enough to catch the red glow lingering over her fur.
“This gemstone will be key to using an ancient spell known as The Lover's Link.”
Small Pond grinned, her cheeks flushed. There hadn't been any need for Princess Celestia to wink when she said it, nor for Princess Luna to grin, but they had. They had and she had needed quite a few days to get over the fact that the diarchs of her country teased her about her love life.
A few more days had helped ease that feeling, and the mute fear she had lying in her bed, waiting for sleep to take her.
She had... learned to enjoy it.
Now, she could look to the waves, and feel only wonder. Silver dots of light marked the presence of the lunar dolphin swimming through the pull of the boat. The school had been following them for near a week now, and she had taken to naming them. Her favourite, Foamy, would do tricks if she threw him one of the catches.
All the while quietly making a certain stallion slightly jealous of the attention.
Small Pond let her head lull to the rhythm of the waves crashing against the hull, while in the distance, an otherworldly roar resonated through the air. In the dark, with only the magic of her horn to light her surroundings, she never would have managed to see it regardless. Yet, it made her heart beat just a little faster, and her anticipation for the next day grew stronger.
Not that she wasn't also looking forward to going to sleep either. The gem's heat against her skin sent a pleasant tingle through her body.
“Wear it at all times. There is never a valid reason not to. No emotion, no conflict, no order warrant you take it off. Guard it with your life.”
So far, there hadn't been any trouble on that front. Sailors had all sorts of precious ornaments. The other three mares on board all had an earring of bronze or silver. If she said she was keeping it, the rest of the crew wouldn't care as long as she did her job.
And for the most part, it was the stuff of dreams. Every breath she took felt rich with the scent of salt and freedom. Sometimes, as she did tonight, she lingered on deck past her work shift, just to take in the immensity of the waters around them, knowing that it was all for her to conquer. She didn't care if it made her look naive to the ponies that were still hard at work.
Poor Cabin Colt huffed past her, his short black tail flicking to the side. Last night, the teenaged colt had drunkenly tried to compliment her. His mistake had been trying to cup her necklace in his hoof, saying it was only half as beautiful as her. His cheek still displayed Small Pond's hoofprint.
“He will be bound to the gem. Do not let another being touch it.”
She had had, in truth, no choice. But that did not mean that she hadn't enjoyed it a little. She was, after all, a taken mare, even if no member of her crew seemed to believe her entirely.
With a wry smile, Small Pond trotted down the stairs, and saluted an aging stallion with a greying mane on the way to her cabin.
“Weren't there two of you?” the sailor mumbled, eyes darting past her in search of an elusive second pony. Had he directed his gaze to the wooden wall near the mare, he might have noticed an alicorn's shadow laughing.
“What are you talking about?” she replied with a small giggle. “Are all those years up there finally wearing down on your eyes, Far Sight?”
“Pffft, as if.” The middle-aged stallion looked to the sky in exasperation. “The day I go blind is the day this ship sinks.”
“I don't doubt it, Far Sight.” Small Pond pressed a hoof against the stallion's back, only half-joking. He had always had a keen eye from what she heard, and just this trip, he had helped them avoid getting caught up in some dangerous waters.
And she couldn't help a twitch of worry at the thought of a shipwreck. The waves might sweep them off their hooves, thrown them into the depths. They might break the chain.
“If, by happenstance, you lose it, he will be forced to manifest. That must never happen.”
Her hoof clutched the precious necklace against her skin, pushing it so her pulse rippled on the silver chain. She hadn't needed to be told. The thought of the gem lost – thrown overboard and floating down into the abyss – made her chest painful. William...
No, she told herself. One could not live in fear, he oft repeated. Fear dragged her down in chains. No more. The sunset ahead invited her and her crew toward new horizons. A few more days now, and they would land at Talonshore. She'd finally see the harbour most griffons merchants hailed from.
“Come on, Puddle,” she muttered to herself, her voice taking a deeper inflection,“are you going to start living a little, or do you need your big brother to push you on that boat?”
Small Fry had grinned wide the whole time he said it, more so when she had sputtered in outrage at him. The warmth of his parting hug to her had lingered for days. “I believe in you, sis. Knock 'em all dead.”
Even the begrudging agreement that William wasn't that bad a choice of stallion, once one looked past the nightmare-like powers and hungers, stayed with her. Her lover had rather been surprised when they'd talked about it later on. Maybe he didn't – or refused to – imagine what could happen at night.
“He will live on through your dreams, Small Pond. Know this: you will never meet him in the flesh. We understand your feelings for him, but remember that he is still only a creature of dreams and nightmares.”
Small Pond pushed the door to her cabin open with a faint amusement. She had been living in her nightmares for years before meeting her stallion. The future did not scare her anymore.
The mare settled down on her hammock with a content sigh. The ache in her limbs subdued, as it always did when she prepared for sleep. Above her, the swinging lantern projected its pale light over the rest of the cabin. She reached for it with one hoof, pausing only when she could feel the gentle warmth of the flame within licking at her skin.
Her eyes flickered to the shadow beneath her. A phantom touch rolled over her shoulders, caressed her cheeks, and she quieted her fast beating heart. The ruby on her breast gleamed.
Small Pond smiled, then blew out the light.
“Pleasant dreams,” whispered her prince's voice.
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The End.
Awesome story, with a great finish.
I kind of suspected he was in a hospital, in a coma state, so the reveal wasn't quite a surprise, but the scope was.
It's interesting to see how this ends, and perhaps very fitting to have it be as night and day. But it is a lovely story I would read again in a heartbeat.
Eh.
Clever enough to see it comming, even if deus ex ellement of harmony was a close second as a possibility
Anyway, much better as an epilogue then whit How my Little Brother Became an Alicorn. I particulary liked the parralel beetween an unhappy life and a nigthmare. And William scene last chapter does count as a great ending for his story.
So yeah, much closure, much fun. Definitively a big favorite of mine as a whole!
Thank you for sharing!
Damn, Wisecracker, you know how to wrap up a story!
Now that was an interesting ending. It's nice to see you didn't resort to "magic jewelry solves everything", and that it wasn't a "perfect" ending, but a believable and happy (if somewhat bittersweet) one.
7453398 "The End"?
7453403 Thank you. I rather suspected a few people thought this way, and really, logic dictated that William was having a good deal of problem ensuing to him if Small Pond was in such danger while being taken care of. Glad you liked it.
7453447 Yes?
7453473 I'm a sucker for parallels and thematic moments. I'm glad it worked out for you.
7453486 By combining your comment with wlam and morphy's, it more or less compounded every missing element in the coming chapters, though, of course, some details were off.
7453490
So, long story short, I was a bit inspired by changelings, vampires, zombies and a couple of bad nightmares I had. Not that I dreamed of monsters sucking the life out of me, in fact, I'm more batshit terrified of wolves and dogs. But the feeling of waking up screaming or jolting in your bed because something is clawing at your back did help.
Always nice to see some surprise at the twists. I was always wondering if I was overdoing it. I mean, a skeletal guy, with bugs coming out of him, always being killed? I tried sticking to a motif, but it was distorted by William's subconscious. I'm just glad it worked out.
Hey, I still think the ability to help move out is one fundation of good couples. Small Pond and William's love is just that epic to survive without it.
*Shrug* I guess she was giving birth or something.
7453498 You know, I dunno if I want to take that as a compliment. I guess I will, but I'm doing so with narrowed eyes. At least, I thank you for the comments, the favorites, and the love.
7453506 Eh, I dunno about that. 7453498 *AHEM*
7453555 I'm not even sure if they have the Elements of Harmony in this timeline. It can be seen as an alternate version of "Do Princesses dream of magic sheep?", so probably not. But yeah, the Elements of Harmony are a very cool piece of lore and make for great visual showing, but I rather keep them away from my melodrama.
Bittersweet is where it's at, man. Characters should choose to look at what they gained or what they lost. At least, mine usually have to. Glad that this worked out for you.
7453573 You have exactly one epilogue and a blog post to go. I'm sorry. Prepare your mourning.
Good stuff. I liked the ending and how it leaves the chance for more, would be interesting if over time their link makes him stronger, maybe some is harassing her when a lamp gets knocked over or something. Anyway, loved it and hope to see more, or another great story!
Damn, that was one hell of a satisfying ending. I'll be honest here, though that as soon as his situation as a dreamon became clear, I had figured this end out, or at least narrowed it down to two, technically three. The first was that he would somehow end up living on in someone else. Second, he accepts death and Luna puts him down. The last one would have been a deus ex machinima with the Elements magically fixing everything, but you're a good enough writer that I'd have put that somewhere down below 0.01% chance of actually happening in this story.
Regardless, I have to say I enjoyed this story immensely. At times it was somewhat confusing to follow, but considering the nature of dreams, I'm not surprised, and it honestly works pretty good. Furthermore, I came to like pretty much all of your characters, Small Pond in particular, and I'd love to see a sequel to this, even if it's just some slice of life with her "adventure: on the high seas with her prince in her head, more or less.
7453563 How would saying you did a great job on the epilogue could be anything but a compliment?
I'm confused
7453563 Seriously, how do you keep making good and enjoyable Hie's? Given how almost every one is, you subvert, twist, and make them fun and enjoyable in a genre that seems tapped out. Bravo none the less on a very prodigious writing talent to this.
7453592 Ah, yes, a small detail I did not get too deep into. A dreamon that manifests interacts with the material world and can cause great havoc. When William appeared as a smoke-stallion in the hospital, mid fic, that was a failed attempt at manifesting.
On the general end of things, I'm not sure where to go with my writing next. Plenty of plot bunnies, but who knows what to do with them. If you have any idea/suggestion, I wouldn't mind hearing you out (though no promise I will write anything).
7453596 Phew, glad you didn't think me the kind to deus ex an happy ending for no reason. But yeah, since William is ultimately a good man, it came down to finding a way to feed him energy without killing, or letting nature follow its course and die. It just so happens that love is a powerful motivator.
Also, thank you, atmosphere was a bit of a challenge, and transitioning between actions, places and thoughts were something I often had to weigh in and decide for or against. If the final result was agreeable, then it was not for naught.
And finally, thanks, OCs are often a difficult thing to sell to readers. It's a great compliment to hear.
Let's see where my next writing project will take me.
7453603 Well, one part was because you said so by comparing it to another fic of mine, when I had actually liked that epilogue. But really, it was just me joking around.
I'm on a bit of a satisfaction at finishing a fic high right now. It makes me goofy and jokingI hope we see prince William again one day.
After reading the last chapter all I can think of is Freddy Krueger now.
From your explanation of what a Dreamon is, it sounds exactly like Freddy.
7453637 Ah.
Well, as you may or may not remember. While I did like a lot How my Little Brother's final chapter, the epilogue did not felt right.
But here I really felt like you did what a great epilogue is meant to be.
I've rarely seen it executed as well as this.
That was a wonderful finale and a great epilogue. So many stories here never manage to write a satisfying ending for themselves, but this one? This one, I read and just think "yeah, this is done. Good night." I really couldn't ask for more. I don't even think it needs a sequel. Adding onto that can only cheapen how well it all came together.
7453615 Hard work and determination. Also, observations and being a giant sucker for transformation stories in general. I just sometimes want to see how I can give a twist to something. I want to think of implications. I like to look at a story and go 'but if that happened, it wouldn't be an happy fantasy'. In general, I just want to challenge my characters and go for something that isn't done often. HiE is a genre I find doesn't do this enough.
It's... just, thank you. Comments like this really make me want to keep finding new ways to write this genre.
7453652 Hmmm, that's a big if, but you never know...
7453664 Well. Huh. Now my joking around makes me look like a complete jerk.
Oops? Seriously, thanks for the comment. I... I'm a bit overwhelmed by the reception I've gotten so far.
7453701 Yeah, see the above comment, this is what I'm talking about. This story stayed with me for the whole time I was writing it, and to see it completed and liked is a really great deal. And, you're kinda right. A sequel would be to revisit the characters and have fun, but this story, I'm feeling is about as complete as it gets for me.
7453718
No prob. Honestly, you deserve it. This is one of the cleanest executions for a story concept that I've seen here in a long while. It starts with an interesting concept, knows where it wants to go with it and then it does so, no meandering or self-indulgent nonsense, just good, gripping story from beginning to end. That's getting you a favourite and a follow right there, even if you might not be able to see it 'cause my libraries are all private. This was really an outstanding story that didn't get nearly the attention it really deserves.
7453718
That is probably a key point of how you made your stories interesting. You try to see new concept, and you acknowledge the bad aspect as well as the good of a situation.
You make it past from fantasy and wishfull thinking to a reality with it's lot of implications.
7453718 It's very true, hie's are so easy to fall into so many pitfalls, that its rare to see them not only make it to the finish, but excel in writing as these do.
Wonderful.
Not a favourite, but VERY well done, if not confusing for a pretty much "dialogue only and will go back only if something doesn't make sense for me" guy.
I'm probably one of the only types like that that read this.
Beautiful story :3
I knew, somewhere in my mind, this was going to happen. I do not hate it, I do not like it either but that is the path that has been chosen and it's fantastic and sad.
You dragged us along something silly and fun, which devolved into something nightmarish and in the midst of that darkness, there was that little ray of hope.
I won't lie, I'm sorry the Alicorn princesses are not all powerful being, I'm sad that his death went unexplained and I'm angry this was the result.
But I don't regret coming all the way through to the end.
Thank you for those words, this story. I really enjoyed it.
Well, this was... Fucking depressing.
This felt smooth, glorious and it was a roller coaster of emotion.
The last thing I can say is:
Fuck you
Fuck you for giving this the complete tag
Fuck you for this satisfying ending
Fuck you for writing this masterpiece
Fuck you for being an amazing author
and thank you for this wonderful, amazing, spectacular slice of heaven.
I laughed.
I cried.
Well done author.
Honesty I was confused for a lot of this story as to what was going on. That's not a bad thing considering the mind set I started reading this story with being that this whole dream nightmare thing was a human turned pony story introduction. I mostly see dream scene as the author saying they can do anything they want screw sence and those mostly demis them. It wasn't until the big serpent showed up I figured out that this was the whole story. I think it is a testimony to how strong a writer you are that you where able to keep me around to the end and what a end it was. Hope to see your next story
So, what did Pond lose when they kissed the first time? I still think he's on his way to discovering, much like a vampire from White Wolf's World of Darkness, that you can feed in bits and pieces from multiple targets over time and do little lasting harm to each.
This needs a dark tag.
This is the best thing I have ever read.
I mean anything, not just fanfics.
I'm otherwise speechless, you are an artist.
Great job. I had suspected what the string-man was for a while, but I never thought that William was actually... yeah.
Great ending to a great story.
This was amazing. I cried. A lot.
7453810 7453900 7455148 7454287 Awww, you guys are after my heart. I can't tell you how it feels to get such a good reception for a story I slaved on for quite some time. You're all amazing.
7453945 Thank you for your comment. I'm glad you managed to feel invested enough to feel for the story and the characters, even if it wasn't the ending you wanted the most. I never wrote with the intent of having the princesses be all-knowing, the character being magically healed. Just the opposite, it was their flaws and their struggles that built the story.
7454221 So, I guess I am thoroughly screwed after that little comment. Like, dang, leave my poor bottom alone, or at least give it a little respite in between two lines. Though, in all seriousness, thanks for commenting. It helps me write more, and the appreciation is just a great thing to get.
7454354 I'm honestly not sure what story I'll be working on next. Some people have suggested I returned to my "One Horn Too Many" collab, but I'm still unsure. I'm open to suggestions, though I make no promises.
7454609 Man, like, thanks. Thank you so much for that.
7454730 I am glad to see your appreciation of that twist. It was a bit obvious, in retrospect, maybe. But poor William never imagined that his dream would blow out of proportions into such an adventure. Well... at least he could make his peace with it.
7453881 I'll put your tears in a trophy and keep them as a badge of honor. I thank you for your investment in my story. It's a compliment an author can never get enough of.
I doubt that there will be, but... will we get a sequel?
One of your better stories, if not the best.
7455308 I really mean, I have read many, many stories on this site, and maybe one has affected me like this one.
Your Story has it all, good writing, an unpredictable twist (I only realized what was going on in the later chapters) and a truly emotional ending. I went into this story expecting something a lot different from what I got, but I was NOT disappointed. Bravo.
I remember getting to the bottom of chapter 12 and going "holy crap, this has only been 12 chapters!??!" Your story felt so dense and focused and structured with relevant and interesting content that it feels like the events of a much longer story should be somewhere in it, you know, like one of those sprawling 15 main character semi-shonen stories. It took many many fewer words, but I couldn't really through away any of your moments because none of them were ever any kind of irrelevant because even the idle moments contributed to the actually important story of William forming a relationship with ponies and slowly deciding that they were even real. Basically, we never had to wonder why we should care just to have some deus-ex-machina happen and then blame the deus-ex-machina on the irrelevant ideology of your choice, because we already knew why he should care and the exact metaphorical relevance of your magic bullshit was made abundantly clear beforehand.
Ok, so., I've been here. I've been around fimfiction for some time and I've made some comments and many of them are long. I don't really know how many people on the site would recognize me. I know EXACTLY who wlam is, for example, because that guy is EVERYWHERE, but I have no way of knowing what I look like to other people or if I even register as existing. So, let me tell you just a few things.
I read often. When I post, I post mostly because a work has given me an actual new (to me) thought or made me feel something that confused me or concerned me enough to make me focus on it a bit. Most of the time, this results in many many many words explaining exactly how I feel about one thing or another, though sometimes I also like to spew five word unoriginal and reactive garbage and also put my pants on one leg at a time, so to speak. Most of the time, this happens because I feel that something is appealing to me in a manner that I feel is somewhat destructive, meaning that the feeling that the events evoke in me for the sake of entertainment are in some way egging me to believe in something that I simply do not believe. I want you to appreciate how rare it is that I have found your story, liked your story, become invested in your story enough to care about how well made your story is, not become critical of flaws in your story due to my investment, and then I STILL felt that it was necessary that I open my mouth and SAY something. I have painted you a scorching sky-tall billboard of praise. Get marshmallows.
Oh my god, violent.
I guess adding the word "all" made it more specific to me. Like, if you use the phrase without any identifier other then " 'em ", then I just think of "dominate the competition", but if you say "all" then I instead think of her murdering each and every other pony on the open sea, leaving only her financial and military thralls behind to do her will.
It's jarring, but is not in any way un-immersive. It makes me question what kind of pony would say it like that, and it turns out that a well-meaning but slightly misunderstanding brother is EXACTLY who would talk like that! You can never really know someone well enough to say that they definitely wouldn't use a phrase in such a slightly altered way, and having him reasonably and so slightly surprise us like that just made him feel more real to me in his parting moment. Now that I think about it, it also works with his violent behavior in the dreamworld and his general brashness.
Intentional, or happy accident brought into being by me thinking to hard? The world may never know.
Unless you tell me. I guess I would know then.
Did you said something?
But seriously, your grammar, as I mis-remember it, was just about perfect until chapter 12. You even had little, subtle, grammatically clever turns-of-phrase that depended on our faith in your abilities, and they worked! However, there were a few mis-steps you missed in some fairly dramatic points. I kind of can't find the other ones without going back and re-reading the chapters fully sooooooo...
But still! You are a fair way above average and my only complaint is a few immersion breaking tense-errors and a plurality error. Basically, being aware of the problem but not helping fix it bugs me, but I am to much of a lazy piece of garbage to do the work so I am dumping an almost useless pile of words on you. Toodles!
Very few of the many books I have read had elicited such emotion and satisfaction, and even fewer fanfics still.
Thank you for a wonderful story.
7460797 Thank you, it's... I never had my work really compared to books this way before this fic. Feels amazing.
7459177 Ah, yes, density. To be honest, I think this story worked best because I put myself under a mental limit. There's a countdown to Small Pond's death in my mind, and that forced me to choose precisely where and how to put what information to keep the flow of events interesting. Even if I didn't share it to the readers, I kept a little voice in the back of my head to tell me "she's in danger, if you keep her in danger too long, the sense of urgency will dull, pick something". So, I can understand why you felt it was longer than it is. The whole story, in my word docs, amounts to just under 200 pages. Still long, but a little under the average small novel. All in all, I think this story really helped me when it came to pacing and getting my readers to care in the right order. I'm so relieved most people have had a positive reaction to it so far.
As for the turn of phrase, well, it's a bit of both. I intended the sentence to sound a bit more violent, and yes, the use of "all" was a choice to reflect that. I sort of meant it to be an "off" phrasing, to give readers pause and say, "okay, that's personal, that's him and not just a well-worn cliché." If that makes him sound a bit out of synch with Pond, then good, but that part is more accidental than the rest.
can't win them all, I guessAnd now, the embarassing truth. I always miss stuff. It annoys me, but if I look back and read my chapters again (which I usually do after a couple of days), I generally find a mistake somewhere... So, the previous chapters, I'm guessing you were lucky enough to read them after I had had a few more revisions. Shame on me. I do try, and I talk with my beta about it, but we generally overlook a thing or two. Sorry for the slight drop in the last moments there. Must have been a bit of a letdown. Gonna look back on it now. Thanks for the comment, always pleasant to see such investment.
Not gonna lie; I almost cried. Almost.
Sequel?
Sorry for taking so much time to comment on the final chapter, I had things to deal with time; the rest just slipped my mind. Ever sense I discovered your stories I have always amazed by your approach to a more emotional self-introspection to your story telling and by slipping a tragedy to an otherwise fantastic adventure so much more intense without going into melodrama. Not just that but you also put drama to other characters in the story that are intertwine with the main character, giving an impression that there is more going on at the same time.
For the conclusion of the story I think it couldn’t be much better, as I can’t really think of another way that William could have stayed with Pond, without their relation would eventually drift apart; seeing that William was trap in the dreamscape and Pond would pursue her dream of sailing the seas. I am surprised to learn that she Pond was originally a throwaway character; you really know how to make the best of what you’ve got in your existing lore.
I had suspected that William was already dead considering for how long he was in the dream scape despite the fact that we didn’t know how long the events had lasted, and I had suspected that the sting man was link to William because of his hominoid morphology and that it had something to do to his fear of his mortality, but I didn’t realize that it was the very same dread that he was feeling when he was seeing his very body was degenerating right in front of him. I think it was a great idea.
I live the idea of Deamons are lingering souls that are feeding off the life force of the living, all doe I thought they could live off fear, but I think it was a misunderstanding on my part. I wander how come their hasn’t been any more of those greater dreamon created during Luna exile, I could imagine that their couldn’t have been more if after her disappearance there just wasn’t enough tragic violent deaths because of Celestia’s benevolent ruling of Equestria, where almost everyone had lived full accomplished lives there were so few conflicts drastically limited the amount of unrest souls that didn’t had a reason to linger in the land of the living. This also show of narrowly William escaped starvation or being executed by Luna anyway.
I liked that you get to explore all the possibility of how William could continue to reside with the living a little long and discard all of them because of how unfeasible it was and would only make things worse before being discarded driving the point home that William shouldn’t be lingering anyway or any other dead souls for that. Still seeing the characteristics of the dreamons, like feeding off fear and how they can apparently manifest in the realm of the living if given enough life force, I wander if Sombra might have been a dreamon himself seeing that he could do all that as well as becoming a shade like William almost did when he was breaching the line to reality. I wander if Sombra was killed by the Element or he already was one while he was ruling the Crystal Empire.
The only points that I was disappointed what I was really hopping that the foals would more involved of the story and learn more about them, or at the very least that he could have the chance to apologies to all of them. I was also hoping for more involvement of Celestia and Twilight.
Still, it was an awesome story, I am happy to learn that my art had helped you in going overcoming the writer’s block you had at the moment; I only had wish that I could have not have been stuck in the finishing the two armor design for so long.
I hope there will be a sequel to this story…
This story touched deeply. Heck, I nearly cried! Thank you for writing such an immersive and deep story good sir.
Well, that was a fun read. Good job.
Bravo what an amazing story, or at least I think so, but I do not think this story need a sequel because of how smooth and polished the entire story felt. Bravo, at least a 9/10 from me if not a 10/10.
P.S. These are my thoughts when I finished it on the forth of august.
This story is a poem.
Just wanted to thank you for the story.
I really hope we will see sequel sometime.
Silly question: I caught myself that I am not sure of what is color of Small Pond's mane.
I cannot remember where in the story it was described and was not able to find it.
What is her mane color?