A forbidden romance between a Princess and a Wonderbolt... could this result in a happily ever after or is it just not meant to be? (Cover photo as drawn by me. Please do not post this anywhere unless you give my tumblr blog - askprincessdreamcatcher.tumblr.com - full credit. Thank you!)
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Yes the chapters are short, I don't have much time so I put the story into small sections.
At first, I was nervous, thinking this would be poorly written or cliche. However, this pleasantly surprised me. While it is far from perfect, it has promise, and is fairly interesting. 2 suggestions: one, make it longer.Combine some chapters, and develope the characters more. Don't go for the cliche "I'm in love with you after 3 minutes thing. Add doubt, confusion, and guilt to each of their emotions. Slow down, and this story will be excellent. Two, fix your grammar. Some run-on sentences and misplaced commas add to the confusion.
Good luck! This is a good story so far.
583958 Thank you for your advice! I really appreciate this because I've never written a story before
585081no problem. It's really good for a first attempt, and I'll be waiting for more
585081
You are right but don't forget these:"Hello Mr.Slash, its me Derpy!" called the purple male mare.Derpy is grey not purple and it looks like you are saying derpy is a male and a female I think you ment mail not male
586493 Thank you for making me aware of this! I overlook things like that quite often.
586676
Happy to hell and I don't care it was funny
same my chapters are short i
this chapter
TORI U MUST WRITE MORE! lol