• Member Since 15th Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen Jul 1st, 2020

Poet Knight


May you all 'Live Long and Prosper', your star-turtle never lose it's course, and your itty-bitty living space not cramp your Infinite Cosmic Power!!

T

Octavia and Vinyl have been together for fourteen years, but her DJ has been distant of late. When she finds out why, can she find the strength to help her?

(I am so sorry for this)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 8 )

Octavia knows Vynal has a problem, she just didn't know how bad it was.

Well, maybe her problem is that her name is being consistently misspelled, but I can't be sure :ajbemused:

5697113
Honestly, the spelling never crossed my mind. Too much else was going on and I was just trying to finish this. It's been corrected, thanks for the catch. :fluttercry:

Hey there, it's Zealot from the 'Say Something Nice' group.

Well, I have to say this story was quite an enjoyable read. I'm not too fond of sad stories but this one was pretty good. Very emotional and there was some smart writing in there. A few clues and a few twists that kept me guessing for a while until the reveal.

Still, it was very sweet and I liked it, good solid length too for what you were writing.

Have an upvote, and keep up the good work.

Here's the thing, this isn't a bad story per se. But I had to give you thumbs down for the last bit. Seriously, up until then it kinda worked for me. Vinyl has donated her tail and hair to Octavia and through this will she now make music, in essence being able to still make music when she's no longer there.

And then you had to have her dress turn into a cello and have Octavia "play" her so she could feel the music. Yeah, sorry but that literally broke the story for me. It would have been more... touching in my opinion had this flashed forward several months or years after only to have Octavia playing her heart out in front of a packed audience while using her prized bow strung with Vinyl's hair. Have it go out on a bittersweet note that Octy now plays because during those times she feels that Vinyl is there with her in spirit. There's thunderous applause, she sheds a tear which the audience mistakes for thanks but it's actually one of loss.

And yes, I will admit that part of my distaste for this stems from the fact that a cello, or any instrument of this type unless it's electric, wouldn't sound good if it was anything other than hollow. You need that hollow space inside the instrument to give it resonance.

5723211
Thank you at least for telling me why you downvoted it.

Let me start off by saying that I did not downvote this. I gave the story it's tenth up-vote; and I only skimmed it. Reading it might have been a bit hard on me. I've lost family members of cancer and it's a rather harsh topic for me. Despite this, you captured the emotions of that troubling situation beautifully.
I do need to agree with Blackguard about the ending, though I don't think it was enough to warrant a down-vote. Having Octavia playing in front of a crowd, years later, using Vinyl's bow would have been so powerful. I feel like you missed a great opportunity with that; showing the lasting impact of losing Vinyl would be the biggest tear-jerker of them all.
I'm a huge VinylOcti fan. I mean, really, my primary story is about them and I think Vinyl is best pony. I appreciated this story and I thank you for enduring the hardship of writing something so emotionally charged. Some people just can't understand the impact writing something like this has on the writer.


-Inkheart

7346547 I too have lost loved ones to cancer and known others who have as well. So yeah....

I wrote it as is because that was how my muse said it had to be; and, because I was breaking down emotionally as I was typing (even had to leave work the next day because I broke down again). Even now, I'm not sure how a continuation would have gone. I could've gone with any of the five paths I could have had: Octavia committing suicide after destroying her life, Octavia in an asylum after failing to commit suicide, Octavia (as suggested) playing a concert with her new bow, Octavia giving up music altogether, Octavia reminiscing in her old age as a widow or with a new marefriend. But... I didn't since I guess that decision wasn't mine to give; rather the reader who through their own life experiences would choose.

To tell you the truth, I can't even read through it without breaking down still.

7346781
You know, I personally can't see Octavia trying to kill herself. She's often portrayed as very strong willed and in strict control of her emotions. While I've challenged that concept before, I can't see her breaking down that far. Still, if it did happen, it would've been... I don't have a word to describe the feels I would feel.
For the 'Years Later' ending, I picture her playing the song, seeing the spirit of Vinyl in the crowd. Perhaps, ever since losing her, she always leaves a front-and-center seat open, a chair for the spirit of her lover. I had her do something similar in my story, though it was instead as a reminder of the past she'd left behind; a past she eventually ran back to.
As for her moving on or reminiscing, both would be powerful. I see her as never moving on, but like I said, I'm a serious shipper.
The ending you gave this story seems too surreal, not entirely fitting the rest of the narrative. It's unusual - emotional but strange - which throws people off after the serious and straightforward nature of the previous scenes.

Regardless, my condolences and thanks for this. Even if I find the ending to be strange, the story is powerful enough to earn a lot of my respect. :twilightsmile:

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