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Set after Season 4, and everyone is aged up for the sake of the story.
Its been nearly a year since Spike decided to travel Equestria for himself on a road of self discovery. During his travels he comes across a dying changling begging for his help, Spike is led to a dying Queen Chrysalis. Spike chooses to help Chrysalis however he can, but what he doesn't know is that he has just began a journey to love and discovery.
Warning: This is my first story/fanfiction so be patient with me.
Note: No clop but descriptive/suggestive softcore scenes.
Chapters (18)
I liked it.
Okay, I'm curious about where your going with this.
Interesting. Few grammar mistakes here and there, but starting is usually shaky. I'd think Spike would have a few choice words with her, but I suppose he wouldn't drive her into further despair when she's in that condition.
Good first chapter , i'll keep an eye on this
Spike x Chrysalis instant like instant follow instant fav you sir/madam have won the internet today I am definitely looking forward to more
Ooo, thisss looksss tassstey*snake-wink emote*
Still lovin it
There is another way for Spike to feed Chrysalis but it's kind of extreme.
So far so good. Maybe those dislikes are just those who think this site has too many anthro stories. Maybe there are, but I still think they can be good stories.
5703967
We are not going down 'that' road!
No clop for me!
5704006
I simply use anthro because its slightly easier for me to write
5704050 Then what's the sex tag for?
5706101
In most of my stories I like being detailed with certain scenes, romance and fights as examples, so its not sex, but implied sex and descriptive scenes explaining sexual details, just not flat out sex
A romance story between Spike and Chrysalis??
Keep up the good work.
5706306 Then there should be something like a 'Softcore-' - 'Hardcore-' distinction, eh?
How ominous, Twilight's probably gonna end up making that vision come true somehow. Self-fulfilling prophecies and all that.
Give us more!!
I say give it about 3 more chapters then let them arrive in ponyville
Why would Rarity be the one to teach Spike how to woo a Lady? It's not like she's ever been on a healthy romantic relationship. In fact, quite the oposite...
In anycase not much happened on this chapter. Save for Twilight's premonition. Now we know that Gore brand is for a reason.
5730035
I'm basing that bit off of what I've read in fics and from the way she acts in the show, she's plenty flirty but still refined, so I thought it would make sense for Rarity to teach Spike about women, plus I never put in the story that her advise worked.
Yup this chapter is something of a place hint at future events, i hope ill play it off well
5707493
Me: Uh huh... Right... Okay... Okay... Uh huh... Okay... Good to know... Llamas... Okay... Great! Okay, well, that was very informative!
Other Me: What did he say?
Me: I dunno. I don't speak Spanish.
(I'm just kidding! It was a very catchy tune!)
I like it! There are a few grammatical errors, so perhaps scanning over the story could help. For a beginner, this is extremely good work. I rarely see anybody who writes a decent story on a first attempt. Also, I would recommend using only the Tragedy tag or only the Sad tag. You usually won't need both. The explanation for these two tags is complicated (they are very similar). If you need help deciding, the sad tag is typically used for a story that is supposed to make you cry, whereas a tragedy tag is used for a story about something bad that happens.
5858876
Thank you for the helpful info, and I'll try to work on the grammar.
Also thank you for the kind words I hope to make this a fic people will really like.
Naw not rushed at all a few errors with you calling spike a she but like I said before I love this story/pairing
JUST KISS ALREADY!!!!!
5868713
Patience is a virtue
Still impressed despite the long waiting time. Keep it up!
I wonder if Rarity is going to be jealous when Spike comes back to Ponyville accompanied by a mare.
5871888 Something tells me Twilight will be the jealous one.
Also, I want more of this story, and I want it yesterday! lol
Moar
5882420 What he said!
What they both said
Eonflare mentioned some mistakes so I thought I would show you the few that I noticed. as for the comment by SA Starla I must respectfully disagree you can get quite a bit of experience writing on fimfic and other fan fiction sites. here you will find authors such as The Descendant and many others who will give of their time and talents to help a new author. No one can say you wont get anywhere just from one chapter of your first story. Good luck to you up voted and tracked.
B.D.
“This traveler…said he…has…come to help…there… is no lies in his voice…. [ are ] ???
Instead he was greeted (.........) but bodies left and right [ with nothing ] ???
ground, tried and seemingly barely conscious [ tired ]???
So Rainbow, Applejack, Pinkie and Fluttershy have all found some romance life huh?
OK, me again. some hints while I haven't published them I have two stories I am going over for holes, ticks, fleas and typos.
one Don't trust spell check. it only cares if the word is spelled right, not if it's the right word.
two Try reading your story out loud, you will be surprised to see what you can find that way.
three you might look in the FAQ part of the site there you will find links to authors who are willing to help you with your stories
pre readers, editors, advice and so forth. I am not one of them I can find a few errors in spelling but those people are good!
Keep on working.
Pinkie engaged and Applejack married?
5895556
Yes, you may or may not find out to who later
Wel she practically dry humped Spike when she saw him. lol
I imagined Spike closing the door and locking it, and then a second later, he's thrown through it.
This song came to mind:
FIRST!!!
Oh, the thoughts going through Twilight's head!
Also: MORE!!!
Is it me or Chrysalis become friskily perverted?
I love the concept and characterization, but the anthro just kills it for me.
5898493
Nothin for nothin, but whats wrong with anthro?
Huh, you managed to make things that made sense, and also hilarious. Awesome.
HUHHHHHHHH?!
No, but seriously, out of context that WOULD sound messed up.
I'm sure "Silk" meant that in a completely innocent way. I imagine she doesn't have much experience speaking normally.