Life is about the journey and the smaller ones within it. For some it's easy for some it's hard. But for one it's been mostly on his knees from grief. This is his story of redemption and his life at Cantrlot High.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Hullo. I'm your friendly grammar/spellchecker.
Good story, just... paragraphs. Need to be shorter. That first one is going to turn away a lot of readers because it is too hard to read a wall of text. And indent your paragraphs. You can start a new paragraph without there being dialog. But I didn't see any spelling errors, so good job.
5669598 Thanks. I fixed the paragraph issue. Though I'm pretty sure I don't have to indent dialog. Let me know what you think :)
5669625
Nah, the dialog rule is just new paragraph for every new speaker. No need to indent. Looks a lot better as well. Do you have an editor for your stories yet? I'm always here if not.
5669643 I don't have an editor. I usually proof read everything myself since I tend to think of a better idea while I edit my story and write it out. The ending was supposed to have a different outcome than what it has now.
5669655
As long as it works.
5669672 I'll have to edit my main story The Life and Adventures of Peanut Butter now. Hope you check that out too.
Wow, interesting start. A little dark, but you have my attention.
I hope things will turn out for the better for all of them.
5687158 They will. Though it will take time.
5687188
That's good to know.
I think you should maybe get a friend or someone to check grammar. I also find it interesting (but not bad) that you wrote this in present tense...
But don't get me wrong, I'm loving this story. As far as plot goes, this story is perfect. There are a lot of people out there who aren't very good at making characters act realistic. Keep up the good work!
5687216 Grammar has always been hit and miss with me. But I tend to aim for a well written story that gets the message across at the cost of some grammar mistakes. I actually put myself into the minds of the characters if that makes any sense and make what they would feel realistic.
5687277
That's exactly what I try to do. I love putting myself into other character's shoes and exploring their motives and personalities. I am currently writing a one shot about that talk Sunset and Twilight had during rainbow rocks and I am really going for those deep feelings. Unfortunately I have a busy life and was going to get it out today, but things popped up.
Oh and I do like how you prioritized good plot over the minor grammar things. Its really not that bad.
5687309 I know that feeling. Next chapter is going to take me a while since I have to think of ways for the situation to stay realistic. Also got asked to write something as well.
Good job PB! Keep goin'!
5687363
Well, good luck with that. Maybe you could check out my story once I weed out all the plotholes. I've got few things that just don't sit right... I'm kind of a perfectionist when it comes to creative writing, especially when others are going to see it.
5687463 Thanks :)
5687472 Thanks :)
Love the story so far, keep up the good work.
Random capitalization.
Also, no one is going to say "Peanut Butter" every time. "Peanut" is just weird, so have people start saying "P.B." .
Don't be deterred by down votes either. That's mostly just because 1. OC is main character, and 2. That OC is you.
Keep going P.B.!
5816096 Thanks. How I missed that in editing is beyond me.
Great chapter bro. Take your time with the next chapter.
5816481 I'm a bit burned out right now. So I'll be taking a bit of a break.
5816501 No problem bro.
you should make that into two sentences. or at least a comma.
Pfft... You want me to point out errors? NEVER! And Sunny and P.B. are going to eventually get together aren't they?
5867004 Where would the comma go? Also nope they aren't.
5867020
between breakfast and can. And I'm just like, okay, they're either gonna be friends/enemies/siblings/romantic to each other, and I wanted to cross one off of the list.
5867059 At least one of them is obvious.
5867079
No... It's not when you have a mental disorder... It's really not...
5867098 I know that feeling. You just have to keep reading to find out then :)
Ahh... so they'll be cousins.
5885815 Yep.
Oh boy, Blue Blood and Peanut Butter cousins. Why do I have a sneaky suspicion that Professor Discord had a hand in this.
5892237 You'll never know. You might see Mr.Discord in here eventually.
5892312 Okie dokie lokie.
5892351 Yep. :3 Just been weally busy with late nights and such.
Luna: What was that?
5892389 Uh oh. *Look up at Mama innocently.*
5892397 Uh ohs. RUN!!!!!
5892419 *Grabs us both in her magic.*
Luna: Now, how to punish noddy little foals of the night.
5892490 Eep :<
5892502 *I whimper some as she holds us in front of her with her magic.*
5892510 *Hides behind my hooves*
5892515 Me: We sowwy.
Wow, great chapter. Sorry about the day of silence. Was flying home to visit family yesterday on four hours of sleep and was jet legged that I had no energy when I landed. Again, I'm sorry, but keep up the great work.
5901767 Thanks :)
accidental uppercase
*Scrolls quickly through chapter* Uh.... Great?
6003801 Not good huh?