Consequences
Rainbow Dash checked the orphanage, every inch of Ponyville visible from the air, and even the schoolhouse and Sweet Apple Acres. She couldn’t find Scootaloo anywhere. Even Cheerilee and the ponies at the orphanage didn’t know where Scootaloo would be, so who would?
Without any other leads, Dash stopped her repetitive circling over Ponyville to sit on a convenient cloud. She regretted the decision as she looked at the bit of fluff next to her. She could almost see Scootaloo’s crying face staring back at her.
Rainbow sighed. I made her feel that way. All this time and Scootaloo never really felt unloved or unwanted. Well, if she did, she certainly kept it to herself. She always seemed so… happy, energetic.
Idiot.
Here all this time she had been playing the role of surrogate sister to her real sister. Worse, she stunk at it! She had stupidly crushed Scootaloo’s spirit and made her feel unloved. She didn’t even know where to find Scootaloo. Did she really know anything about her little sister at all?
Dash sat on the cloud, ruminating on her actions well into the evening. The sun drew ever nearer to the horizon, and still she had seen neither hide nor hair of Scootaloo. Just as she began to lose hope, tiny shouts sounded from below.
Leaning over the cloud to look straight down, she found Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle staring expectantly up at her. “Hey! Have you two seen Scootaloo?”
The duo looked at each other, then back up at Rainbow Dash. “Yeah,” Apple Bloom said. “She wouldn’t say much, but she was hurtin’ something awful.”
“We tried to help, but she just wouldn’t listen,” Sweetie Belle said. She turned and pointed a hoof. “She took off for Winsome Falls. We couldn’t keep up with her.”
“What is she thinking?” Dash said as she spread her wings. “I’ll go get her!” With a mighty burst, she took off in the direction of Winsome Falls.
Even with her blazing speed, Rainbow Dash didn’t make it far before Luna ushered in the night. The red light of evening faded to the pale light of the moon and stars. Dash grunted as she approached the bottom of the mountain. All the speed in the world wouldn’t avail her if it grew too dark to spot the filly.
Dash slowed herself, lowering her altitude to just above the treetops. She bit her tongue against the urge to cry out the filly’s name. Odds were that Scootaloo just might flee at the sound of her voice. She scanned the well-worn trail below her, praying that Scootaloo hadn’t managed to get lost—or worse.
Rainbow made it over halfway to the top of the mountain before she spotted her first signs of the wayward filly. Fanning out her wings, Dash braked before floating down and hovering just above the lonely path. There, she approached a seemingly benign object dangling from a low branch.
It was one of Scootaloo’s kneepads. Rainbow yanked it from the branch. Looking up, she observed the scene. There weren’t any feathers or fur. Her scooter and the rest of her gear were nowhere to be found. There weren’t even any tracks. Frowning, Dash looked back down at the tiny kneepad, running a hoof over it.
With a mighty burst, Dash shot back above the trees. She must be further up. She’s gotta be. This time instead of just following the trail, she rocked back and forth. She soared dozens of yards out in either direction, scanning the dense wood all around the path.
Then, she saw it.
Next to the raging river that cut through the mountain, Dash espied a small silhouette. She swooped down, and as she got close, she managed to see the silhouette more clearly. It was Scootaloo. She sat next to the rushing water, while her pads, helmet, and scooter were piled in a heap nearby.
Scootaloo looked up, and their eyes met. She stood, never taking her eyes off of Dash. Then, she turned towards the river and jumped!
Redoubling her speed, Dash dove towards the river. “Scootaloo!” she shouted, scanning the dark, rushing waters.
Out of the swirling waters, Scootaloo burst free, kicking her forelegs to keep her head above the water. Dash zipped there in an instant. She looped her forelegs around Scootaloo’s torso, lifting her up and out of the water.
Rainbow Dash carried Scootaloo safely over to the shore. “What the hay were you thinking?” she nearly shouted at the filly after she set her down.
Scootaloo gave her hide a thorough shake, flinging water everywhere and making Dash flinch away. “There!” she said, not even looking at Dash. “We’re not sisters anymore!” She only paused momentarily to shake more water from her hind leg before marching towards her scooter.
Rainbow shot up and over Scootaloo before landing in front of her. “What are you talking about?”
Scootaloo stopped, taking a step back. She glared at Dash. “You said you’d take me under your wing and be my big sister so long as you didn’t have to pull me out of anymore rivers in the middle of the night,” she said, thrusting a hoof in the direction of the river. “Now we’re not sisters anymore.”
“Hey, you are my sister, and nothing is ever going to change that,” Dash said, taking a step forward. “I don’t care if you jump in a river or a dozen rivers, you’ll still be my little sister.”
Scootaloo took a step back. She glanced to the side. Suddenly, she sprinted towards the river.
Without thinking, Dash’s reflexes kicked in and she tackled Scootaloo before she’d made it halfway to the churning waters. Pinning the filly on her back, Dash glared down at her. “Stop that!”
“Lemme go!” Scootaloo struggled uselessly underneath Rainbow Dash.
“What’s gotten into you?” Dash asked. Scootaloo snapped her head to the side, doing everything in her power to not look at Rainbow. Dash’s throat tightened, making her voice crack. “Do you really not want to be my sister anymore?”
Scootaloo squeezed her eyes shut, purging her eyes of tears. “Why?” she asked, her voice quivering as she began to cry. “If we’re sisters, wh-why did you get a family and I didn’t?”
Dash shook her head before getting off of Scootaloo and letting her up. “I-I wish I knew.” She pulled Scootaloo into a hug, wrapping both her forehooves and her wings around the filly. “I wish I could make it better.”
Gripping tight to Dash, Scootaloo buried her face in Dash’s chest. “What did I do wrong?” She shook, sobbing. “Why don’t I get a home… a f-family like everypony else?”
Rainbow ran a hoof through Scootaloo’s messy mane. “Shh, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Leaning down, she kissed the top of Scootaloo’s head as she moved her hoof down to rub the filly’s back. “Other ponies messed up, and you had to suffer because of it. Dad, me… Mom.” Dash nuzzled the top of Scootaloo’s head. Rainbow sniffled, trying her best to keep her voice even. “I’m sorry, Scootaloo. We really messed up.”
Scootaloo sobbed, muttering apologies and shaking her head, soaking her tears into Rainbow Dash’s chest.
Pulling a wing up to her face, Dash wiped the tears from her eyes. “I-I can’t give you a home.” She shook her head. “I don’t—I don’t think I can even give you a real family, but I am your sister. I can at least be that for you, if you’ll let me.” Dash felt Scootaloo nodding as she cried into her chest.
Rainbow held Scootaloo for quite some time, until the crying stopped. The exhausted filly had finally drifted off into the numbness of sleep. Carefully, she lifted Scootaloo up onto her back. Then, she gathered up the scooter and pads and took off, slow and steady, for Ponyville.
Although Dash was tempted to just stop at her house and have Scootaloo spend the night, the two of them were already in a heap of trouble. Scootaloo’s curfew passed at least two hours ago, and she… well, she didn’t mean to break the law and see Scootaloo’s birth certificate. Hopefully that wouldn’t come out—ever.
So she kept flying, only stopping once she had reached the orphanage. After dumping the scooter and pads, she lowered Scootaloo off of her back and stirred her awake. “Hey, come on. You need to get up.”
Finding herself on her hooves, Scootaloo looked around. As soon as she realized where she was, she hung her head and her ears folded down. She sighed.
Dash nudged Scootaloo. “Hey, I’ll see you after school tomorrow, okay?”
Scootaloo nodded.
“Listen, Scootaloo, I know Dad probably isn’t your favorite pony right now—”
“I hate him,” Scootaloo said with a conviction no child should possess.
Rainbow closed her eyes and sighed. She nodded before she looked back down at Scootaloo. “If-if you ever want to meet him, just let me know, okay?”
Scootaloo turned away. “Whatever.”
With another sigh, Rainbow knocked on the door. “I really wish I could make it better.”
Scootaloo didn’t reply, and the two stood in silence until the door opened to reveal a grey mare with a greying brown mane. She looked down at Scootaloo then back up at Dash. “Do you have any idea what time it is?” she asked, her voice thick with contempt.
“I know. I’m sorry,” Dash said, looking down. She idly kicked hoof. “I guess I, uh, lost track of time.”
“Really?” she asked sharply as she pulled Scootaloo inside. “The fact that it’s night didn’t register with you for two hours?” She looked down at Scootaloo. “Off to bed. Now.” Her tone was demanding but not without compassion.
Scootaloo nodded before trudging out of sight.
“I screwed up, all right?” Dash said. The mare just rolled her eyes before putting a hoof on the door. Rainbow managed to just slip her hoof in, stopping the door from closing. “Hey, I’m not done with you,” she said, her wings spread out as she glared at the pony.
“What?” she asked.
“Why hasn’t Scootaloo been adopted yet?” Rainbow demanded. “She’s been here her whole life. She deserves better.”
“You think I don’t know that?” the aging mare shot back.
The mare stepped back, opening the door fully again. She sighed. “Scootaloo has had a bad run of luck. Nopony picked her when she was a foal, and even by the time they’re half her age…” She shook her head. “Everypony wants a little foal they can shape and guide—somepony who is going to love them unconditionally from the very start. Once they’re old enough to be distrusting, it gets a lot harder to place them. And Scootaloo? She’s going to be out of here in a few years anyway. She’s not far from being able to take care of herself.”
“That’s besides the point!” Dash stomped a hoof.
“No. That’s the entire point,” she replied. “It is a long and hard process to adopt a child. By the time someone would be able to adopt Scootaloo, they’d have her for a year or two and then she would be old enough to fly the coop. Nopony wants that.” She shook her head as she grabbed the door again. “I hate it as much as you do, but Scootaloo’s chance has already passed.”
Rainbow’s face twitched after the door closed in her face. Like that mare cared even half as much as she did! With an angry grunt, she took off for home.
It may have only taken her seconds, but Dash’d worked herself up into a frenzy by the time she got home. She kicked the door in, slamming it back behind her. Seething, she immediately swept a forehoof across the nearest table, dumping whatever was on it to the floor. Being in a cloud house, she was denied the satisfying sound of things smashing.
She sat, leaning back against her door. Rubbing her face with her hooves, she let out a long sigh. Nopony was going to adopt Scootaloo. Scootaloo wanted nothing to do with their dad. Dash couldn’t make somepony adopt her, and she couldn’t make Scootaloo accept their dad’s decision.
Scootaloo wanted nothing more than a family and a place to belong, and Rainbow Dash couldn’t do a single thing to make that happen.
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The story is well written and holds together well. However it just seems to stop and not have an ending, I know that there are open ended stories but this just cries out for an ending.
I think you meant 'Thicker than blood' not 'Thicker than Water'.
5659379 yeah, what's up with that?
5659787
The expression is "blood is thicker than water", so... it would make sense to say "thicker than water".
5659867 By itself, it means nothing. If you are going to use it, go the full distance.
I liked this story until the end. Because it wasn't an end--even if you left it on the current status quo, this doesn't feel like a last chapter and there is no sense of resolution to it.
Also, Rainbow Dash could just adopt Scootaloo herself. It isn't an ideal option, but at the moment it's the best there.
5659872
...
Yes. Yes, it does mean something. The fragment is enough to let you know what the phrase is, and this is a title, not a sentence--you only need enough to convey a message. No one is going to not make the connection between "blood is thicker than water" and the title.
A story about duty can be titled "Heavier than a Mountain". Even if no one has ever heard the phrase before, the subject matter makes the title clear.
5660029 i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/273/478/aed.jpg
By the looks of the ending, this story should have a tragedy tag.
5660029 You have an extremely good point, as the story stands right now, it hasn't ended. So many plot points have been left unfinished, so much could be done with this fic that ending it here is almost a crime.
5659379
5660029
5660382
The ending to this story was intentionally open-ended. Things go back to a more or less normal, and life goes on. Life tends to offer very little in the way of closure. This is where the major event in Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash's lives comes to rest and settles into a defining memory.
What about the house Scootaloo lives in? (Flight to the Finish)
Everyone's pal Wikipedia has something to say to y'all whining about the lack of ending.
In the "Slice of life" article, under Literature:
Guess what this story is tagged as.
5662719 But when something *does* have a coherent plot and conflict, some form of resolution as needed to bring the story itself to a close.
Like I said in my first post, it wasn't so much that nothing changed and that the status quo was left unchanged--that isn't that unusual to read. The problem is that there was no personal conclusion, that there was plenty of build-up to something that never happened, and that there is no sense of internal closure. Slice of life stories are self-contained episodes of ordinary daily events--this isn't ordinary, and for something to be self-contained means it has to actually wrap up in some form, even if only for a character to mourn over how nothing is going to change. That isn't what Rainbow Dash is doing--she's upset over how terrible things are for Scootaloo, but there's no sense of resigned acceptance.
A slice of life story is still a story, and they still have endings--even an open ending still closes off that section of a story. This feels like the actual end got cut off, and the label "the end" was attached to the open wound.
5662962 I really have to disagree that the story's plot doesn't have a satisfying ending, even if the conflict is left "open." This story has an underlying theme of loss of control, which all of the characters express a lack of in some way at some point: Dash's dad with regards to putting Scootaloo up for adoption, and then in the mess in his house; Dash losing control of her scooter, then finding out that having information is not the same as having control over it, and then smashing her house up; Scootaloo being unable to change her situation; the receptionist of the adoption center not being able to help Scootaloo find a home...
Since RD is the main character, the way she interacts with and responds to these situations is the story. She falls into despair in recognition of the tragedy of the situation. Like Rainbow Scoot said, this could use a "tragedy" tag, but that isn't the point I'm trying to make. There not being a resolution to a conflict is not the same as there being a complete arc to a story.
story was decent up until the terribly done open ending. what you made was more like the gap between two episodes than an open ending to a story and it ruins the whole thing.
Good story yet, it's incomplete.
The way you ended Consenquences, all you left was an opening for a new chapter.
The way I see it, this story is not done. You can't just leave it like that or else you're going to have to re word the chapter a bit in order to make it seem like it's the end.
5662429
So is this story done? It is marked incomplete.
5692384
No. I'm going to write a new ending when I manage to get around to it.
I wrote a review of this story. It can be found here.
I will watch to see where this goes. It's good so far.
If the original author is alright with it, I would like to finish this story. I promise to give a conclusion worthy of such a powerful story.
5886298 If it really suits you, go for it.
5886298 how has the continuation come along? i haven't started yet, but i would like to read more if you have it
6860393 I actually forgot about it.
5662429
My issue with it being open ended like this is that the claim is that everything returns to what it was. But since the orphan Scootaloo idea was never canon, and therefore never part of the status quo, just going back to the way things were doesn't work.
On a different note, would this story exist in the same canon as Best Friends Forever: Between Life and Machine? Because I feel like this story explains why Rainbow Dash feels like she failed Scootaloo, and why Scootaloo is beating herself up so much.
10059068
This was more or less canon at the time it was written. Later seasons kind of pushed it off the rails. While the idea of bringing this into my other story is intriguing, it was not intended.
10061676
Intentional or not, would you agree that it works as being canon with the other story? Even if it's not intentional, it's kind of a case of "hindsight is 20/20". It could also be subconscious. You considered this story as fitting into canon for a while, so when you made Best Friends Forever, the canon of this story may have bled into the canon of that story.