I dream of a man whose hopes never end.
The Writers' Group56,365 stories ·9,290 members
Rainbow Dash7,252 stories ·4,140 members
Slice of Life8,145 stories ·1,460 members
Scootaloo3,262 stories ·2,570 members
School for New Writers9,608 stories ·5,008 members
Rainbow Dash stumbles upon a disturbing truth about her relationship with Scootaloo. Deciding to act on this new information, she changes the way Scootaloo sees herself and her situation—and not for the better. Now Dash must find a way to get through to Scootaloo and start to repair the damage she's done.
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The story is well written and holds together well. However it just seems to stop and not have an ending, I know that there are open ended stories but this just cries out for an ending.
Well that turned ugly pretty quickly, though considering RD has every reason to move heaven and earth for Scootaloo I'm sure it'll work out. Somehow.
I think you meant 'Thicker than blood' not 'Thicker than Water'.
5659379 yeah, what's up with that?
5659787
The expression is "blood is thicker than water", so... it would make sense to say "thicker than water".
5659867 By itself, it means nothing. If you are going to use it, go the full distance.
I liked this story until the end. Because it wasn't an end--even if you left it on the current status quo, this doesn't feel like a last chapter and there is no sense of resolution to it.
Also, Rainbow Dash could just adopt Scootaloo herself. It isn't an ideal option, but at the moment it's the best there.
5659872
...
Yes. Yes, it does mean something. The fragment is enough to let you know what the phrase is, and this is a title, not a sentence--you only need enough to convey a message. No one is going to not make the connection between "blood is thicker than water" and the title.
A story about duty can be titled "Heavier than a Mountain". Even if no one has ever heard the phrase before, the subject matter makes the title clear.
5660029 i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/273/478/aed.jpg
By the looks of the ending, this story should have a tragedy tag.
5660029 You have an extremely good point, as the story stands right now, it hasn't ended. So many plot points have been left unfinished, so much could be done with this fic that ending it here is almost a crime.
5659379
5660029
5660382
The ending to this story was intentionally open-ended. Things go back to a more or less normal, and life goes on. Life tends to offer very little in the way of closure. This is where the major event in Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash's lives comes to rest and settles into a defining memory.
What about the house Scootaloo lives in? (Flight to the Finish)
Everyone's pal Wikipedia has something to say to y'all whining about the lack of ending.
In the "Slice of life" article, under Literature:
Guess what this story is tagged as.
5662719 But when something *does* have a coherent plot and conflict, some form of resolution as needed to bring the story itself to a close.
Like I said in my first post, it wasn't so much that nothing changed and that the status quo was left unchanged--that isn't that unusual to read. The problem is that there was no personal conclusion, that there was plenty of build-up to something that never happened, and that there is no sense of internal closure. Slice of life stories are self-contained episodes of ordinary daily events--this isn't ordinary, and for something to be self-contained means it has to actually wrap up in some form, even if only for a character to mourn over how nothing is going to change. That isn't what Rainbow Dash is doing--she's upset over how terrible things are for Scootaloo, but there's no sense of resigned acceptance.
A slice of life story is still a story, and they still have endings--even an open ending still closes off that section of a story. This feels like the actual end got cut off, and the label "the end" was attached to the open wound.
5662962 I really have to disagree that the story's plot doesn't have a satisfying ending, even if the conflict is left "open." This story has an underlying theme of loss of control, which all of the characters express a lack of in some way at some point: Dash's dad with regards to putting Scootaloo up for adoption, and then in the mess in his house; Dash losing control of her scooter, then finding out that having information is not the same as having control over it, and then smashing her house up; Scootaloo being unable to change her situation; the receptionist of the adoption center not being able to help Scootaloo find a home...
Since RD is the main character, the way she interacts with and responds to these situations is the story. She falls into despair in recognition of the tragedy of the situation. Like Rainbow Scoot said, this could use a "tragedy" tag, but that isn't the point I'm trying to make. There not being a resolution to a conflict is not the same as there being a complete arc to a story.
story was decent up until the terribly done open ending. what you made was more like the gap between two episodes than an open ending to a story and it ruins the whole thing.
Good story yet, it's incomplete.
The way you ended Consenquences, all you left was an opening for a new chapter.
The way I see it, this story is not done. You can't just leave it like that or else you're going to have to re word the chapter a bit in order to make it seem like it's the end.
5662429
So is this story done? It is marked incomplete.
5692384
No. I'm going to write a new ending when I manage to get around to it.
I wrote a review of this story. It can be found here.
I will watch to see where this goes. It's good so far.
I think this is great already. Keep going!!!!!!
If the original author is alright with it, I would like to finish this story. I promise to give a conclusion worthy of such a powerful story.
5886298 If it really suits you, go for it.
5886298 how has the continuation come along? i haven't started yet, but i would like to read more if you have it
6860393 I actually forgot about it.
5662429
My issue with it being open ended like this is that the claim is that everything returns to what it was. But since the orphan Scootaloo idea was never canon, and therefore never part of the status quo, just going back to the way things were doesn't work.
On a different note, would this story exist in the same canon as Best Friends Forever: Between Life and Machine? Because I feel like this story explains why Rainbow Dash feels like she failed Scootaloo, and why Scootaloo is beating herself up so much.
10059068
This was more or less canon at the time it was written. Later seasons kind of pushed it off the rails. While the idea of bringing this into my other story is intriguing, it was not intended.
10061676
Intentional or not, would you agree that it works as being canon with the other story? Even if it's not intentional, it's kind of a case of "hindsight is 20/20". It could also be subconscious. You considered this story as fitting into canon for a while, so when you made Best Friends Forever, the canon of this story may have bled into the canon of that story.
interesting story
rip