• Member Since 24th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen Oct 17th, 2020

Eggtaro


If you're reading this, I'm going on hiatus indefinitely. I will return one day, but until then, please take care and adieu.

T
Source

*** Special shout-out and thanks to my editor, Schadenponi! ***

*Important!*Patch 1.89 Notes*
-Overwatch is awesome!
-Still planning the contents for the next chapter.
-The Slice of Life tag has been removed and replaced with the Adventure tag because I say so.
-Added the Alternate Universe tag because, without it, this story might confuse people.
-Once the upcoming chapter, 'One Small Step For Man' is published, this story will officially be considered a HiE (Human in Equestria).
-Description has been changed and updated.
-Bacon is awesome

The hero of this story, Creme Fraiche, had just finished moving his stuff into his new apartment --- after being told that he was to be transferred. Everything in his apartment seemed to be in working order at first, until he discovered the broken bathroom mirror.

During his search for a replacement, an old lady from a mystical-looking Chinese antique shop gave Creme exactly what he needed: a mirror. But the hero soon discovers that not only does the mirror doesn't show his reflection, it shows something else entirely: a cerulean-coloured pony with a rainbow-coloured mane --- with wings, too.

And it can talk.


*Author Notes*
-Twilight Sparkle is an alicorn in this alternate universe, however she has never been to the human world, nor has she met any humans before. To put it in more simpler terms: the events of all MLP: EqG movies never took place in this AU. Deal with it.

-As of the chapter 'Beyond Earth'. I quickly realized that the direction that my story is heading for will no longer be considered as a Slice of Life. Therefore, (since the two tags are counted as 'conflicting categories') I had it removed, and replaced (Adventure) to avoid any further complications, confusion and complaining.

-Bacon is awesome.

-This adorable cover art is done by the amazing DShou from deviantart! Do check out the dude's other works!

Chapters (20)
Comments ( 311 )

looks good bro earned a fav

That connection to the world's doe.

*Chinese should always be capitalized, it's a proper noun. *moved.
And your short description is a little challenging. I'd suggest reworking it to something more like "What would you do if your bathroom mirror showed a bathroom that wasn't yours?"

Very well written and leaving you wanting more, cant wait till next part!:rainbowkiss:

"Detcennoc eb syawla lliw ew taht rebmemer ,detarapes fi neve. Eb yam s'dlrow ruo ,tnereffid woh ,raf woh rettam on ,em dna uoy neewteb noitcennoc a sa evres siht yam."

Or, "May this serve as a connection between you and me, on matter how far, how different, our world's may be. Even if separated, remember that we will always be connected."

You got me there mate, you got me there... :ajsmug:

Anyways, can't wait what comes next. :pinkiehappy:

Wow...I literally just learned about the Fauna of Mirrors this morning and now I see this posted. Coincidence or not, that's just creepy.

Eb yam s'dlrow ruo

Remove the apostrophe. If the world is plural and not possessive, you shouldn't have an apostrophe before the "s".

Thank you, Mirror of Erised!

He really outa get some mirror curtains or something. If they even exist anyway.

*Read*
Hi, my name's Murphy. I'm sure you've heard of my rule?

Neat story.

Edit: Found a more functional tool to create text mirror images.

.bɘƚɔɘnnoɔ ɘd ƨyɒwlɒ lliw ɘw ƚɒʜƚ ɿɘdmɘmɘɿ ,bɘƚɒɿɒqɘƨ ʇi nɘvƎ .ɘd yɒm ƨblɿow ɿuo ,ƚnɘɿɘʇʇib woʜ ,ɿɒʇ woʜ ɿɘƚƚɒm no ,ɘm bnɒ uoy nɘɘwƚɘd noiƚɔɘnnoɔ ɒ ƨɒ ɘvɿɘƨ ƨiʜƚ yɒM

Thank you all for the comments and feedback!!!

5653493 Really neat! :pinkiegasp:

5652531 Yeah, he probably should :rainbowhuh:

5653867
Welcome. I'd seen it done elsewhere online, just never had occasion to use it myself. (And as it turns out had a bugger of a time finding a site to do it reliably) Figured it looks a little neater to do it that way within in the story rather than just reversing the order of the letters themselves. Make the readers really work for it :derpytongue2:

Pretty interesting so far, and the quality isn't too bad. That said, have you considered getting a proofreader to help you? There are plenty of groups here and I imagine you could find some help in one of them. Right now, you definitely need a proofreader. There are a multitude of tense changes (some of the paragraphs go from past tense to present tense and then back again multiple times) and a rather large overuse of commas in places where they aren't needed. Other than those issues, I have to say I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes! :twilightsmile:

Edit:

Also, I forgot one other thing I wanted to mention. How in the world did he not catch on to the message being backwards? Not only was the punctuation shown backwards (meaning they weren't placed correctly) a pretty obvious sign, but several of the words were also small enough that it should have been obvious that they were backwards. I just can't imagine that he could have read the entire thing, and at no point realize what it was.

"Somepony, why do you say somebody? It sounds so...weird."

Uh, why? They say "Somebody" in the show plenty of times, so it's hardly like they only ever say "Somepony."


5652531

On that note, is there any particular reason he doesn't just put a regular mirror in the bathroom, and move the special mirror somewhere else like the living room or something?

5653933 Thanks for the feedback! I was always wondering if i was doing good or bad... glad to finally see the mistakes i made! Will do my best to improve! :twilightsheepish:

Yeah i know that some parts might seem illogical. Heck i would ask the same thing if i was the one reading it. I already have some ideas to elaborate further.

Other than that, thanks so much for your feedback! Hope you will continue to enjoy this story!

:rainbowlaugh: that last part. OMG

Very good story so far, keep it up

My screen is all sticky because I was drinking orange juice when I read that last part...
Thanks a lot author...
...please continue...

You named your character fucking Creme Fraiche? That's hilarious xD

Really good start to the story! :rainbowkiss:

As to why he doesn't move the mirror. You need a nail going into a wail stud to support the weight of a mirror. So he probably need to go to a hardware store and get a stud finder to know where he can securely attach the mirror elsewhere.

I wonder if it's because of the sudden addition of wings.

No! You don't fucking say! :ajbemused:

There were a few errors in this chapter, jokes aside. I might suggest another quick read through, to catch the mistakes. Or get an editor.

:facehoof:Sonnnaatttttaaa.

Discord? I think it's him at least. If so, I wonder what other havoc he will wreak.

5654582 If the story happends in the EG universe, he can have the name of a pony!

hehehe...
Mr. Ord...
Is totally Discord...
hehehe...

The sound of loud laughter brought him back to reality. He spotted 2 guys in front of him with their backs facing him. They were wearing black leather jackets, and one of them seemed to be holding on to another person's arm.
"Come on little lady, join us! Have some fun with us won't ya?" Creme heard one of them speak.

:facehoof:

Oh gee. I sure like your protagonist now. He's an upstanding guy who will save a girl in nee- okay, excuse me, but why does this happen in so many stories (specifically in animes, but fanfiction is no exception)? How often does this happen? Really. No, seriously, I mean...

Okay, if you don't get how trite and lazy this is to have in your story, let me put it to you this way: Stephanie Meyer wrote Twilight. She also wrote a scene in Twilight in which Bella is confronted with creepy rapist guys, and her sexy vampire classmate saves her, shoehorning in a completely tired scene that makes the tween girls and moms think, "Oh Edward, you're so chivalrous and brave! TAKE ME NOW!"

Your story uses the same tired trope as Twilight. Just...think about that.

This all sounds pretty mean, but in all honesty, I'm diggin' this story. It's just that shit like this gets my dick in a twist because of how uninspired it is. It doesn't belong in a story that I legitimately enjoy. There are better ways to get us to like your protagonist and/or develop a relationship between him and Sonata.

5675729 Oh dear... I hope you won't hate my story for it :fluttershysad:

Anyway, thanks for your feedback! Though it does sound like a knife piercing deep into my heart. I actually appreciate it a lot! Not only does it help me understand my writing better, but it also shows that I people who are genuinely interested in my story! It helps build confidence for me, even if it hurts :fluttershbad:

I can't give you any promises that my future chapters will be better, but I will promise that I will give it my all in improving the quality. (I'll avoid the twilight stuff too...) Hopefully I won't have any more chapters that will have content that will...er... twist your dick :rainbowhuh:

Thank you again, good sir for the incredible feedback! :yay:

5675959
Well tired cliche trope or not I still liked the scene! Not all will though so keep that in mind :twilightsmile:
I patiently await the next chapter!

5675959 And thank you for taking honest criticism so well! That's hard to find. Usually authors lash out and become super defensive over their stories.

GAAAHHHH! too short! Want MOAR :flutterrage:
... *cough*... I mean, how nice. A new and exciting chapter. Good work. I liked it... I eagerly await the next chapter :derpytongue2:

Creme is 'bout to get KNOCKED the f*ck out.:fluttershyouch:

5648638

IT'S YOU!!!

Completely didn't copy and paste.

I think that the chapters come out too slow, but I can deal with it. Plus they are pretty lengthy, so I can understand:twilightsmile:(also dropkicking zombies off the roofs of buildings, stabbing the zombies with the tanks on there back and watching them go 'boom', and hitting them atop their heads with with a sledgehammer and watching their heads go 'splat'(btw get the grappling hook its SWEET) I am able to aprehend the amount of bossness that is going on there :twilightsmile:).

I was wondering when we were going to see the mirror again

TLP

Drop kicking zombies...

Lemme guess... State of Decay?

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