“Perhaps, but it’s not like…I could go back to my old home…” I nervously shifted in place, trying to control it. I wasn’t doing a very good job and Rainbow noticed my slight shuffling.
“Yer not like…‘on the run,’ right?” asked Applejack.
“What? No! I just…don’t want to talk about it.” It seems like despite me literally running away from my past, it finds its way to intrude the present no matter what.

*Splutters incoherently*- you fucking brought it up!

Anywho, good chapter, despite it being a bit trite.

5658014 Well yeah. I would bring up the problem that is the main conflict and driving point of my story. Well since you seem to notice this, I think you have a pretty good idea what's going to happen later on. I just hope I do enough justice for it when that time comes.

Well, yeah. It's about heartbreak and depression. What more do you expect from me? Forgive me for being trite but hardly anything is truly original in this day and age. Break-ups are not uncommon. This is no different. The only thing I hope to do different is how my story deals with it.

...and now I'm being a little defensive. Sorry. I'm just realizing that someone judging what I consider personal is a lot more difficult to swallow than I anticipated. Keep criticizing, dude. I appreciate it, truly.

5658267 I can relate to suddenly becoming defensive over your story. People kept calling Hunter a completely spineless limp dick in the first few chapters of Preservation of Innocence. And of course, I retaliated a bit. But I realized that no one was really wrong; not them for criticizing and not me for writing him that way. Eventually I think we all reached an agreement that a character trait doesn't really constitute bad storytelling.

...However.

but hardly anything is truly original in this day and age.

I am trying so hard not to get mad about this comment. Look, it's fine if this story is a bit unoriginal. That doesn't mean it can't be a good story. And if it's based on a personal experience, I commend you for being able to write this, and apologize if I'm shitting on it. But don't ever say that fiction is running out of originality, especially not as an excuse.

I like the story so far. Just wanted to remind you of that.

5658341 Yeah, sometimes I forget I'm talking to a fellow author.

Sorry, didn't mean to strike a nerve. That's a bit of my ex rubbing off of me, actually. My ex took it really personally whenever I said something about his art that implied him being unoriginal, especially when a lot of his art had personal significance to him. I was just trying to help him improve (which he did) but I think I hurt him quite badly in the process. I think I can understand him now that I'm creating something artistic as well. Yes, a lot of it is based of personal experience, although shifted and changed to fit MLP. I'm actually doing this more as a therapeutic exercise because I have a lot of mental issues from that break-up. I probably need to see a psychiatrist, but I'm holding that off so I can write my story. Inspiration came from somewhere and I plan to hold on to that and make something constructive with my depression. By all means, shit on it but I'm hoping for more feedback to improve it as well. I may not be a writer, but I still want this to be as good as I can make it.

Yeah, I'll keep that in mind. Thanks.

Question: How do you quote like that? Make that little box copying what I said? That seems really useful and I don't know the commands for it.

5658844

Question: How do you quote like that? Make that little box copying what I said? That seems really useful and I don't know the commands for it.

Above the comment box, where the options for italics and bold and such are, there's a button with thick quotation marks. You type whatever text you want to quote in the comment box, highlight the text, then click the button. Same goes for bold, italics, and underline: highlight and click on the button.

I may not be a writer, but I still want this to be as good as I can make it.

I reject that out of hand. If you, sir or madam, can write your name, then you're a writer.

I probably need to see a psychiatrist, but I'm holding that off so I can write my story. Inspiration came from somewhere and I plan to hold on to that and make something constructive with my depression.

If you ever need someone to vent to, just shoot me a PM. I'm not a psychiatrist, and I'm not even going to risk presuming that your pain is anything akin to the pain I've felt in my short life, but I'm a good listener and I'm empathetic. At the very least, I'm not getting paid to hear about your problems, and actually want to help for the sake of helping. And because you seem like too nice of a person to go through these kinds of hardships.

5658973

Above the comment box, where the options for italics and bold and such are, there's a button with thick quotation marks. You type whatever text you want to quote in the comment box, highlight the text, then click the button. Same goes for bold, italics, and underline: highlight and click on the button.

I did it, mom! Oh, so that's what it's for. Thanks.

Wow uh...technically you're right. I guess the I should say I'm not an author. Then again, I did start writing this fic. But it's not a book that's going to be published so...
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I don't want to burden you with my shit, but it's a very nice thing for you to say. I'll keep that in mind. The reason why I speak so openly about my problems is because that's what I feel is the best way to deal with them. Keeping things bottled up doesn't end well. So I just let it out. It's a pretty weird feeling, being aware that you're most likely insane. That's not sarcasm, by the way.

5659200

It's a pretty weird feeling, being aware that you're most likely insane. That's not sarcasm, by the way.

Never label yourself as something unless you're fully committed to letting it define you. I think a better way of thinking is to find a word that's a bit more true to who you are as a substitute for a dreadful and bleak word like 'insane', lest you look at yourself in a darker light then what is deserved or appropriate, given the negative connotation that the word 'insane' carries. I find it therapeutic. I for one wouldn't like to think of myself as insane, and would rather say that I'm...contemplative.

...Did any of that that make sense?

5659391 I understand completely. I forgot to mention that I've been dealing with this depression for about a year now. Sadly, I do fully consider myself insane. I'm going to move this to a PM, since I don't want the police coming or spoiling my story for anyone that happens to pass by here.

so far, i'm liking the story. seems like you have a knack for telling a lot about a character without actually telling much. going to have to follow this one to see how it turns out.

5668218 Thanks. That's kinda what I'm going for. As the story goes on, we'll find out more and more about Shadow Heart and why he's so traumatized by what happened in Chapter 1. Next chapter features Luna! Hope you stick around when the story isn't shitty in quality.

5739686 Is there any time that it's ok to change tenses?

Break up the paragraphs even more? I personally feel that the paragraphs are too small, actually.

Still, thanks for doing this. Every little bit helps. If you're going to echo Flutterpriest, perhaps read my reply to his comment.

6203176 It's not really. Thanks for the fave though. I'm still working on the next chapter. School and life stuff. It should be done soon.