Twilight was loving being a princess and was just learning how to use her wings... Until she lost them and her princess status. But a new pony from the human world with a special necklace called a light amulet cheers her up and now that person has a big adventure in front of him... To find the secrets of the amulet and his unknowing family, while trying to win twilights heart.
*this story is also on fanfiction.net but with edits and the person who made that one was me so pls don't sue me or whatever.*
Oops. Try again.
5614600 Here we go again...
5614600
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more...
Dear author, I strongly suggest you read the writing guide.
I suggest you either go back to fanfic.net, or learn how to adapt here. I say this because this site's users are not known for sugarcoating everything like those of the other does.
You edited this thing, really? You missed more than half the capitalizations.
HAHAHAHA oh man...the title say it all....
Next time. read other fiction.
Wow. Congratulations, you broke the record for "Worst Fimfic Title".
MOTHER OF GOD NO!!!!
5614828 It's ok. We will survive.
You may want to use capital letters. In your title. That would help. Oh well, at least the cover is a earth pony. (I am fully aware I am not one to talk)
5614832
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You're damn right we will. Hop in.
5614851 Thank you kindly. We shall commence...
5614852
5614851 cdn.meme.am/instances/52591624.jpg
5614859 Where is the author? I wonder if there will be drama...
5614862 Most likely hiding under a rock from the mobs of critics.
Is it made out of CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC AND ACRYLIC PAINT?
[youtube=YmHi_BLh3Mw]
Comment holocaust in three, two,
5614871 Possibly. If not, he's gonna get a shock when he comes back!
5614880
That fucking video. Oh my God, dude. I understand now.
5614883
24.media.tumblr.com/6132cf8896a634d8d8bbe51132cf4dbc/tumblr_mi397d8Jgs1riyhgvo1_500.gif
5614883 At least it will be a surprise! littlefun.org/uploads/535ff902e691b254c4ab32e9_736.jpg
5614903 I've never had my comment deleted before. If it does happen, I'll rather look forward to it.
5614862
If the author is half-savvy, there won't be any.
5614919 And if they're not, prepare for the clusterfuck!
Oh God.
This can't be real. Oh, whatever.
TIME FOR A RIDE!i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/000/099/what-is-love-570898416.gif
No wonder this sucks shit. Unlike ff.net, we demand the absolute quality and don't like it when trash like this is submitted.
*Throws fanfic back at OP."
MAKE IT AGAIN AND DO IT RIGHT!
5614859
5614897
5614832
Do not worry, comrades! I have called in Ivan to assist!
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---
Duh
Don't you just, love unnecessary, commas?
Okay, you need to slow the fuck down, sunshine!
You haven't even bothered to take the time to describe the events, the surroundings, what kind of day it is. It's like you're a pissed off tour guide who wants this day to be over and done with now.
Oh no
And in one sentence, you've lost my respect.
reactiongifs.com/r/scsc.gif
A feeling of disgust you only experience when put in a terrible fanfiction
Why?
What made her think her friends would know anything about shrinking wings?
Well, duh!
What could they honestly do to help? I mean out of Twilight's five friends, only two are Pegasi, and they're not exactly fabled scholars.
That's why you use foundations
who's "rd"?
Really, you're just jumping straight to Celestia?
No brief moment of shock or intrigue as to why Twilight's lost her wings and her castle has shrunk to a shrub?
I just had to check this was an Alternate Universe, because Celestia would never be that much of a dick in our universe
Dear god it's like an 8 year old is writing this
I don't know, what is the wright thing?
Everyone, or rather Everypony, seeing as how Twilight is a living sentient being and not an inanimate object. At least in the story.
I hate him already. Plus, you say he's in the human world, but has blue skin, so he's in the EQ world. So the question is, why is his name so unfitting?
Unless... my god... We're dealing with a self insert here people!
littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/img/dragonath/2013/06/17/panic.gif
And began to hump the bed
"Won't you slobber on my schlong"
I am now 80% sure this was written by children
Wrong!
Royals are evil, once you're out, you're out for good!
"Then you're stupid for thinking so" Twilight says matter-of-factly
"Bitch, don't tell me how to live my life"
GEE, YA' FAKIN THINK SO?!
It's also a name that suits the media that you're story is set in
Oh no
OH NO!
That's called a rape spell, it stuns rapists. Don't be alarmed when the police arrive.
Ouch
This is the first story I've ever read to feature, or imply, SonXAunt incest. BRAVO!
They're not your friends
You couldn't even spell rainbow
redsarmy.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/nicholas.gif
No, say it isn't so!
NO!
She has Stockholm Syndrome
This ain't a script, sunshine
My god, he got to Rainbow Dash too?
But he already had rainbo dash!
Is no one safe?!
I feel like you're trying to pawn off a play to use, disguised as a story.
Yeah, especially as how this Ryan only went and mind raped you!
Things that they wanted to do with their FRIENDS, which YOU AREN'T
Fluttershy said, moving just to the left to avoid the Sniper's aim
It's the Gary Stu necklace, it gives you the power of a Gary Stu
That seems awfully specific
I know I skipped a paragraph, but that's because it's so boring and serves no purpose.
Why are you a pony?
BAD WRITING, MY BOY!
It's a necklace, it's not gonna' tell you shit
Why did I think you'd be in a different location
Pegasi
blogs.olin.edu/olinformer/so%20it%20begins.gif
No, it's 'rd'
It's a condition
WHO THE FUCK IS TALKING RIGHT NOW?
No, that's a very bad idea!
rd should put her feud with books aside
Unless even the books have an obscene attraction to you, this isn't necessary
No one should be that happy to meed their rapist
"That bin over yonder" she replied
That definitely doesn't sound preposterous or creepy
Your gary stu powers are kicking into action
The My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Wiki
If cheered up, you mean violated, then sure
No, no she didn't, no one just walks in. This really must be a play, and there should have been a round of applause after Celestia walked in
Blandest OC in the universe
Cool it kid, you keep it up like this and you won't be a princess anymore
Why did she stutter and pause?
Unless his harem extends to the royal family as well!
I'm sorry, did the crown, fine jewellery, ornate and ceremonial armour and obvious size difference not give you a vaguest hint?
Bitch, you do NOT touch royalty, lest you be hung, drawn and quartered
What kind of fucking reaction is that?!
You don't, and even if you could, you wouldn't.
Don't you see kid, this is your only chance to fuck your waifus, you sick barstard!
Of course she does
Lucky guess?
He has no friends
You keep slapping it and it will break...
So, do us all a favour and slap da' shit outta' it
That was actually painful to read
We know
---
Welp, this screenplay is beyond redemption. There is nothing that can be done to salvage it, so you get a very special star.
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*reads description*
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5615015 I am sending backup! gamethu.vnexpress.net/Files/Subject/3B/9B/37/3D/PlanetSide_2_1.jpg
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Just my guess.
Also, very apt review indeed.
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5615015
motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/1106/its-dead-now-military-soldier-funnyarmy-demotivational-posters-1307836754.jpg
I'm not late to the party, am I?
This fic looks atrocious. Have you even read a fanfic here yet?
.... I haven't even read it yet! This grammar is atrocious! Can I hop on the boat with whoever is trying to survive????
I'm not trying to be mean, I'm random. If you want, I'll help you with this. I can tell you're new to this.
Is it bad that I don't want him to improve just to see where this goes?
Self Insert Research
Ace66's Ponysona
fimfiction-static.net/images/avatars/216628_256.jpg?1423609660
Ace66's OC in story
fimfiction-static.net/images/story_images/247263_r.jpg?1423609515
Conclusion: My hypothesis was correct and this is definitely a self insert.
At least you got trips in your word count.
Check em guys
Heresy! Remove this filth!
(Shoots Needler at fic)
5615134
Naw man, you're not too late. We were just about to roast some marshmallows,
I've only read the description and I'm already disgusted!mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw8837-1353975154161.gif
5615360
(looks at your profile pic, looks at mine) Well...this is awkward...
5615418 Why?; We're both Halo fans.
5615423
Oh I know, I was just referring to the irony of our pics meeting up like this!
5615428 I prefer the term luck over irony.
5615440
Well, that is one of the traits that the Chief had going for him, according to Cortana.
5615447 Exactly
5615450
Well played, sir.