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Sound Box needs a Check-Up, but he is terribly terrified of Doctors. Nurse Redheart shows him that it isn't so bad though.
I wanted to do something different this time, something more cute and even a bit educating.
I want to thank my very close friend KibaWR, for helping me with this Fic.
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That was cute.
A few things:
You wrote this sentence twice -
""Oh...." Sound Box sadly didn't have any small things to examine, he just used it for another few moments to look at his very big hoovies, as he imagined himself being a giant Pony. He wanted to grow up very fast, so he could become a rock star."
You might wanna add some contractions too, it sounded very William Shatner-ish with constant "you are" "he is" etc.
And if you wanted to be a bit more technical, the heart goes "lub-dub" not "throb throb" But thats just me writing from a medical perspective
5599283
Thank you.
I corrected some of the problems that you mentioned.
If you found this fic cute, then i made my job right.
Too cute!
5922496
Quick. Give this man 10 buckets of Insulin.
This story made me smile... I don't smile. 10/10 would hug.
7960370
Glad you like it so much. I am very proud of this story. :)
It's official! Redheart is the best nurse ever!
Period
!
8648680
Totally agreed
8652372
Eeyup!