• Member Since 26th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Mesme Rize


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Source

Sound Box needs a Check-Up, but he is terribly terrified of Doctors. Nurse Redheart shows him that it isn't so bad though.

I wanted to do something different this time, something more cute and even a bit educating.

I want to thank my very close friend KibaWR, for helping me with this Fic.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 9 )

That was cute.

A few things:

You wrote this sentence twice -

""Oh...." Sound Box sadly didn't have any small things to examine, he just used it for another few moments to look at his very big hoovies, as he imagined himself being a giant Pony. He wanted to grow up very fast, so he could become a rock star."

You might wanna add some contractions too, it sounded very William Shatner-ish with constant "you are" "he is" etc.

And if you wanted to be a bit more technical, the heart goes "lub-dub" not "throb throb" But thats just me writing from a medical perspective :rainbowkiss:

5599283

Thank you.

I corrected some of the problems that you mentioned.

If you found this fic cute, then i made my job right. :scootangel:

5922496

Quick. Give this man 10 buckets of Insulin.

This story made me smile... I don't smile. 10/10 would hug.

7960370

Glad you like it so much. I am very proud of this story. :)

It's official! Redheart is the best nurse ever!:pinkiehappy: Period:scootangel:!

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