IT IS FINISHED!!!!

Out all the stoires I read from other people tim is then best/. I would be happy iff you use my OC in a 14th storie with a side story. After that we brought up an idea to go back a little to a time before Best of Intentions, Worst of Results. That when Twilight Night was attacking right.

5882292

Yes you did :)

Congratulations!!!

5882302

It was before that, between A life lived and Best of intentions if I remember correctly.

...This is a personally preference on my part, but this ending, and story in general was a little too dark and sad for my tastes. Pretty much everything has gone to hell in a hand basket, and future is bleak. While it is still well wriiten, this is where I get off this ride.

5882597 ok I can't to see my oc in your story

5882619

Well, thanks for sticking with it this long. As far as the story goes, things were getting a bit repetitive. The characters always had a happy ending with everything always working out. This time I wanted the story to be a bit darker in nature

When you know what the ending is going to be, it kills the suspense of the story.

5882619

I think it's just fine.
You can't have rainbows and sunshine everywhere
But I guess that's just my thinking because part of this story is from me xD

Thanks again for a great story as always i eagerly await the next story!

5884776

Thanks for keeping up with it!

We hope to have the next story started in about a week, although it'll probably be under scratchntavi's account. So keep an eye out.

5884780

Heh, can't wait to get my hooves on that one!
Although it will be an unusual one for me since I usually do mare&mare

5885483

Judging by how well 'preening' turned out I think you sell yourself short. :)

5885693

Yeah, you got a point there but still...
I'm just feeling more comfortable with the other pairings^^
personal preferences you know^^

And this is yet another story of yours that I'm not sure if reading it was worth the time spent. It's sad, because I like your characters but there's so much else that is just.. ugh =/

5886378

so much else that is just.. ugh =/

This is kinda an issue, because i don't know what I did that you didn't like or how I can fix it.

You say it's 'yet another' which implies that I did it before, yet you never told me what the issue was. Without constructive feedback it's just going to keep happening.

If you never say what you didn't like, why it's wrong, or how I can fix it. Well, I can't be faulted for not being able to read your mind, can I?

There's just so much and

5886485

I'd like to think there was also plenty of

I try and include everything. Good times and bad times, sad times and happy times.

Life is nothing more than contrasts. The suffering of characters is made that much more emotional if you also see them truly happy. The happiness of characters is that much more joyful if they have suffered. If you only have good days, to you it's not a good day, it's just a day.

Same is true for bad days.

I find this to be true in life and in stories.

5886502 Actually, the for me came from how awesome the story was, but the came from it ending.
But yes! and are also present in my emotions!

5886513

LOL, thanks!

I hope to get started on Taz's return to Tatarus today, we shall see!

5886396 The biggest issue is that it's not exactly clear what's wrong. I'll try to list some things I feel about the story. I don't necessarily think they're bad and should be removed, but they may be the reason I dislike it.

The story feels stretched. Some scenes are longer than necessary, some scenes should've been skipped. Also, there's too much happening at the same time.
Character deaths. I was going to name this 'tragedies', but I think it's mostly related to the deaths. Loved characters die a lot in your stories. That's not a problem by itself, but most of the time the death feels cheap. Like the character died just so another one could do something stupid/big, and not because it really fit the moment.
Power levels. I love how everyone is rather overpowered. That's actually the reason I read this. However, their power is rather binary: they either fix things instantly, or something is preventing then from using their power. In 'Price of Victory', Twilight had her powers blocked during the whole story. It's obvious why, it had to be so or she'd fix everything too quickly, but then the story no longer has one of the things I like.

Issues with more specific moments:
Twilight's death. It felt like she died just to make Rainbow suffer. And then the death was made permanent. And then somehow it wasn't, but had lasting effects. And then these effects were fixed.
Of course the effects were fixed, this story is about Twidash and you wanted it to go on. And well, I also wanted Twilight back.

This ending. Or, the lack of one. This doesn't even feel like a "book end, but not series end".

5886555

I think you skipped some passages if you say they fixed the things too quickly or immediately.
I wrote part of that myself and I know that I added various things to stretch it out.

Besides, you did read that this isn't the end? Maybe you didn't.

5886571 Yes, there will be a sequel, but this story here is done, while it doesn't feel done. Basically, if I don't read the sequel, I don't know how this story actually finished.

Also, how did you "write that part" when I said 'they fixed things too quickly'? I was referring to the series as a whole, not one specific case.

5886634

Well, I think we got the end pretty well.
And I'm talking about that because I wrote number 10 and helped TwiDash with part of this.
I got enough of the process of this story to say that I can't agree

5886555

Some scenes are longer than necessary, some scenes should've been skipped

This will very depending on reader and how invested they are in the character that I extended the scene for, If they don't care about Aurora, her scenes will feel stretched if they go on for some time. However, when i give a scene a long time or include a scene that feels erroneous it's because I want to build an emotional depth to the character and/or build up to a big decision later on. Sometimes i get it right, sometimes I don't. Without specifics as to what scene it's hard for me to say.

Also every time I add a new cast of characters i have to establish who they are and what their relationship is to each other. Something that can either be heartwarming or boring depending on how you feel about them.

Also, there's too much happening at the same time.

This is an issue of having a big cast with so many characters. I try and give each character some screen time without leaving any one out for too long.

Like the character died just so another one could do something stupid/big, and not because it really fit the moment.

I must admit to being confused by this. In this story Firestar's death was planned by Red to draw Twilight and Rainbow out of the castle so Nighttide could bring him Taz. Cadance's death was of her own choosing rather than attacking her son, it was also the only way Radaint could beat Mindsink. Icarus's death was foreshadowed before it happened. Only in Cadance's case did something big happen because of it and that was due to Eros being released. (Something they didn't know would happen if she died.)

In POV, I'd been building up Rarity's death since A Tyrant's Words. Spike's death was planned by the Night to destroy Ataxia's mind.

None of these events just occurred without it being part of the bad guy's plan or foreshadowed in advance.

Power levels. I love how everyone is rather overpowered. That's actually the reason I read this. However, their power is rather binary: they either fix things instantly, or something is preventing then from using their power. In 'Price of Victory', Twilight had her powers blocked during the whole story. It's obvious why, it had to be so or she'd fix everything too quickly, but then the story no longer has one of the things I like.

You answered this one yourself. The characters are overpowered, as such anything that happened would easily be solved by them unless something prevented them from using it. if I didn't do that there would be no story.

Twilight's death. It felt like she died just to make Rainbow suffer. And then the death was made permanent. And then somehow it wasn't, but had lasting effects. And then these effects were fixed.

Of course the effects were fixed, this story is about Twidash and you wanted it to go on. And well, I also wanted Twilight back.

This was an odd thing to read. There was a lot in BoI going on and I hinted that something was up with Bright Dawn more than I can count. I found that people either liked it or they didn't.

This ending. Or, the lack of one. This doesn't even feel like a "book end, but not series end".

This book is more of a two part story, if you look at it that way it may make more sense. Besides, did you think I'd mention the sands of time without actually having it in the story?

I think I'm starting to understand your frustration. However, I hope you can see it from my point of view too. It seems like your biggest issue is that you don't like the events that have to occur in order for there to be conflict, but without that conflict there would be no story.

knife to heart is all i feel right now.
Love the part with Firestar was beautiful and heartwarming for me. that part brought a tear to my eye.
I hope to see Nighttide alive in the next book.
hope you have a nice break from the book you deserve it.

5893587

Thanks!

As far as Nighttide's fate. Well... you won't have to wait six months to find that out.

Working on that short story now. Chapter 1 is almost edited!

5893637

can't wait

I FINISHED THE BOOK...
...and I honestly don't know why people were complaining about the ending being too dark.

Sure, Cadence died, and Luna is nightmare moon again... but at the end... it was epic!!! HE LEFT THE BEST CLIFFHANGER IN HISTORY DUDES (and dudettes)!!! The author clearly made the impression that they would be back in Tartarus, and also that Nighttide was alive. It was one of the best endings I've ever read!

6235253

I thought that was funny

6236542

That physically hurt me to write...

6236348 Oh it WAS funny! I just can't believe you did it. Those references haven't been around in a decade!

6495010
The looking glass might change your mind on that.

Assuming you didn't like family affair that is lol

>>Twidashforever They're both on the list, just i decided to push family affair aside as it's not necessary for plot to read, and i wasn't in a mood to read long stories when first time get into contact with looking glass, that's it

Tatarus

. We’ll

lost ".

This. Sucks. Worse then Night did. Much worse. Can't say anything else, just:
This sucks.
Thought, as long as both of Twi and Rainbow alive (only other excuse is me getting sick with being brony, which is unlikely) i'll keep up with this story (Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye).
Also, you won't write more Twilight x Dash slice of life in this series? Meant like life lived for others, 'cause it really seems like a good idea if match it with the dark road the series going along with
Going for the next

6501884

I think now you know why this is the most hated story in the series. It's my 'Empire Strikes Back' sorta speak.

It's kind of a shame because I feel like this is the most powerful story in the series. I still cry every time I read the power of love.

> Twidashforever Yeah, i think i do understand it, also, yes, this one kinda hurts. And yeah, it certainly the strongest one of the series, at least due to dark-shit ending
Oh, totaly forgot, i feel kinda sick about Timespire left alive, you know

6502148

Did you start on the next one? Love under the shadows?

>Twidashforever yeah, just took a break yesterday, actually

6568013

And sadly, a lot of brones I've talked to as well...

Well, now that I think about it, most people I've talked to overall lol.

6570290

He saves his brother, his friend and his family in exchange for giving up something.

6573544

To what do you refer to exactly? Sorry, it's been a while lol.

6574005
To this day, six months after writing it, every time I read that chapter, I sill cry.

7154635 Tis a sister hurting a brother in the worst way she knows how.

7166366 ok, thank you. There may be more, keep an eye out

Twidashforever reminds me of George RR Martin.
"And that character's dead, and that character's dead, and that character's also dead. Look all these dead ponies! Ain't it just wonderful?"

7168907

I was considering Game of Ponies to be the acronym for a while, but for... obvious reasons I decided against it lol.

But yes, Game of Thrones was one of my inspirations for the story, as well as how it's told :)