There really is not much to say, except I am here for the same reason I write on Fanfiction. I want to entertain you with my writing, not just detail it but make you feel that you are in the story.
Lyra has done it. She has studied all she can to know about what a human is.
But there isn't enough information to make her stop.
She needs to know.
She has to know.
The princesses know what a human is, so she'll go see them.
Yes that's...wait...why are they so sad?
Is there someone in that glass?
Who is that?
Note: Music that is used in this is 'One More Day' by Diamond Rio.
I own nothing in this story, all rights of ownership to MLP go to Hasbro.
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An unexpected, but interesting and enjoyable story.
5530553 it wasn't enjoyable to me
static.fjcdn.com/pictures/feels_516771_4069365.jpeg
5530553
Thank you. I figured the villains need some history since there is not much said in the cartoon.
5530612
Believe me, I feel your pain I got so in depth with it that I was actually seeing it as an episode in my head.
Even I had tears.
5530612
And that only made it harder to write.
When I reached the ending of this story, I imagined it ending like the ending of the anime Death Note! The feels are strong with this one!
5530647
Thank you
*Forehead-Smack*
This is a wonderful.
I would read it if it wasn't before school, but I'll read it later.
Also, did you forget about me? Or did you not want me to edit?
Dunno, somehow I can't quite take this seriously. It's just a little bit too... pat. Everything just comes so neatly together for maximum tragedy output. Melodramatic, I think that's the word.
5531508
Honestly my friend, I thought about you but felt the one shot needs to untouched by editing so that I can know from others if I have what it takes to write.
I've got that little man in my head saying "If I cannot write a good one shot without help, then I need to stop writing.
5531719 Makes sense man, everybody has their own standards.
5531719 Makes sense man, everybody has their own standards.
5531719
That little man is a dumbass, because there isn't a single successful author in the world who hasn't had his manuscripts go through editors at some point on the way to being published.
Dude my feels
5533012
If I made you shed a tear, then I apologize. But you're not alone, I felt the same way.
And hey, it was different with the villains having a history.
That counts for something.
5532850
What can I say? Not everyone is perfect, but me...Well there needs to be some maintenance done to my noggin. But no one is brave enough to fix what is up there.
The last time that happened there was smoke coming out of my ears, and the maintenance man...never. came. back. out.
5533225
True and thanks again for the awesome story bro
*sniffle*
5533252
You are most welcome.
5533251
Is that a serious problem of yours? Because you might want to reconsider looking into therapy, then, no mockery intended. Perfectionism that gets into the way of you actually getting what you want done is kind of hinting that you might have a problem with OCD.
5533389
Its neither of those. I just thought I should see what I can do on my own, to see where my level of writing stands so that I can see my own flaws and improve them.
Im not going to lie, that was quite the tear-jerker for me.
the feels the feel they overwhelm us
That was another masterpiece Sayian
This was perfect, can't think of anything you did wrong. All I ask is...who the fuck is Krogar?
5542276 G1 villain
Word's can not describe how awesome this story is.
I'm sorry... I cannot in good conscious like this story. It's well written and bloody beautiful, but it feels more like it's falling into the tyrantlestia tropes and I cannot favorite or like it for that reason.
No matter if the resolution was written in a way that they were forgiven because I've had a friend who I held dear who killed herself and a big part of it was that while she had friends who cared, even loved her. Her own flesh and blood treated her like garbage.
So in all respect I will be downvoting this story, it's beautifully written and has no errors that I am able to see but, I cannot say that I approve of the plot at all and as such I cannot give it anything other than a thumbs down.
5543413
Hey thats finem, I'm just gld you were honest with me. But no worries, there will be more one shots from me that are better. Plus I'm getting hashed for an epilogue that gives it a happy ending, somewhat.
5542276 He means Grogar the Demon Ram from G1
Pretty good! I just imagined them finally telling Lyra what they knew about humans, not telling her a story that is more focused on one human than their knowledge on humans.
5542276
The founder of a chain of grocery stores?
here
probably missing "and a"
damn this was amazing. for a moment there thought it would turn into the evil human but it didn't. even better! it turned out the previous villains were good at some point and boy did that add a punch to the story. coming to realize the intentions behind their "evil" doings.
great story!
Okay, I went into this story wanting to like it, but... honestly, there are a couple of reasons. First of all, there were a bunch of kinda silly phrases that were either grammatically incorrect or were technically correct, but sounded really awkward. Things like:
The second thing was that the whole plot just seemed like an attempt to explain as many things in one backstory as possible. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it's hard to take it seriously when you have the villain characters go from "Celestia and Luna were well-intentioned, but really terrible parents" right to "I must become evil and take over the world!" just to have a reason for them to be evil, and then the Elements of Harmony AND the Crystal Heart just kind of show up through some unexplained method. Not to mention how one of the villains never appears in the show, never speaks, and is never explained.
(Sorry if this seemed long, but I felt like you truly put your effort into this story, so I owed you a proper explanation about why I disliked it.)
Wow. That was depressing.
Dude I want to just cry in the corner now
Beautiful story, I especially enjoyed the portrayal of Celestia and Luna. They were actual characters with feelings and flaws, rather than cardboard cut-outs of perfection. I will definitely be checking out more of your work.
im now only mildly depressed no big deal
:
Ill be honest, the sisters are even more villainous than they admit to. They stole the soul of their kid who was going to heaven to make a weapon. And since at that moment, the 5 still represented their elements, AND they agreed not to seek revenge, it's likely that the creation of the elements broke them as well.
Tirek - loyal to him but not his ideals
Discord - force people to reveal their true nature under stress, rather than honesty to improve
Chrysalis - The means of laughter used to steal love and joy
Sombra - Cruel to be kind
And even in the end, they refuse to admit their failings, return the souls and allow healing to occur. Or the even better ending of putting Harmony's soul back and using modern healing techniques. Surely that has improved over the more than 1000 years!
Dud I'm pretty hard to crack when it comes to emotional stuff but holy crap am I crying right now. I usually cry on the inside :'(
WHY WHY WOULD ANYONE WRITE A STORY LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6940888
Why not???
You make it sound like I committed sacrilege, or something that goes against the MLP world.
It was mostly a joke but the story did feel sad for the sake of sad to me but I think it will really apeal to people who like sad story's
I like this story but it makes the sisters even more villainous than the actual villains. Instead of letting their son/nephew embrace death, they choose to keep him in a far worse state of being for their own selfish gains!
This is a sad and beautiful story I love it
Then the tree of Harmony reformed his soul...
And he went searching for his wife.
Poor, Harmony! Although, he did say something very powerful “I forgive them” I believe forgiving someone will bring blessings to a pony’s life! I know how Sombra, Chrysalis, Trek, and Discord feels it’s tragic to lose someone that you care about especially if you consider them as family. The four of them have to learn something though Harmony is now resting in the Silver City and is living eternal peace he wouldn’t want his family feeling sorrow or emotional pain. It, is best if they move on from that pain and try to forgive themselves. ^_^ Harmony would be so proud. Other than that I enjoyed reading your Fiction!
Once again just like your other story 'Love has a Price' you again show us that the ponies are not blank slates that can do no wrong. Tis was a very beautiful, sad, and heart-wrenching story you have created. You painted who were meant to be "the perfect gods" (Celestia & Luna) and showed that they are not as perfect as they wish to believe they are. Tis was a wonderful read and a joy to find. Thank you for such a beautiful and wonderfully made story.