"Oh hey guys, it's me, Scootaloo! You will never guess on what I found today! I found the most coolest looking creature I have ever seen in my life!!"
"Well maybe not cooler than RainbowDash, but defiantly cooler than most pony's I know.....
Anyways, he has this really cool looking armor that he wears all the time I swear I've never seen him take it off and he is really really tall I mean like maybe even taller than the princess and his sword is unbelievably huge!!"
"What? Oh, right, sorry, you want to know how I found him. Well I was walking home from a long day at school and I found this white rock just sitting on my table and there was a note on it saying it was for me and.....oops sorry l think I may have told a little bit too much. Don't want to spoil the whole adventure for you! You're going to have to read to find out."
Are you serious really
Needs pre-reading.
4934963 Dark souls 1 or 2?
1
4950403 I was thinking of starting with demon souls, but I haven't played the game, so I decided to do dark souls since it's the one I have played
This is good keep going
4965885 Thanks
lol you should make him fight rainbow.
it's an intriguing story idea, but the dialogue is really annoying.
4982754 hmm do you have any advice to give so that I can improve it?
4988742 i can give examples of where i would have improved something. would that help?
4988942 sure whatever makes it easier
4988994 well, I was able to put this kind of run on paragraph into what i feel is a better form.
you also tend to use parenthesis instead of ending the dialogue and using descriptions.
alright, i know that this isn't super helpful, but i need to go to bed. i've got an early day tomorrow. the only other advice i would have would be to read some of the majorly successful stories on this site, and see how they write. maybe get some ideas from them.
4989113 ok thanks for the tip and when you get back what do think of the story in general
If you want some help with some pre reading and correction I'm game for it. I can help you correct your grammar and put some essential punctation is what I'm saying, not the story.
5000185 sure
I gave up coloring most of my corrections halfway through...
I like it keep on keeping on also someone get the soap that little filly needs her mouth washed out with it.
Some mistakes but still pretty good I'll admit I'd like to hear what happens next
5487790 Why thank you kind sir I'll be sure to continue
Hmm very intriguing
5536335 Well I try my best
I honestly want to know what this character's gear is. Can I know please?
5665595 For right now he has the elite knight armor, the zweihander, and a div.grass crest shield, he'll be using more weapons and shields in the coming chapters.
5671526
That is ironic, my current character is using the same gear.
5672356 Really? Well then I guess you like this story even more thinking that it's your character kicking ass
5672557
I just hope scoots doesn't see the chosen die that will be sad and scarring
5986491 Pretty soon I'm still in the process of writing it
5986491 If want to be informed on updates you should read my blog I usually write one when I either finish it or I'm about to finish or why it's taking awhile
How is the protagonist able to throw a giant wooden wolf that may weigh a ton or more your wondering? Simple really, max out in strength mofo. kind-of glad to see this fic still kicking.
Awesome story
6200171 Thank you
why did the phantom come from the markings? in dark souls 1 and 2 you can get summoned from using the soapstone not the other way around.
so a dark souls one crossover. I love the dark souls games though I have never been able to complete one or two yet. I forced my self not to yous a shield witch makes it much harder.
5538156 Ponies wouldn't know what a (non magical) shield is, unless they know about minotars, in which caes they might know about hands. Just saying.
6218207 Enjoyable, but If you use this for practice and learning how to write, then go back over it once you get to a more comfortable level it'll turn out much better.
this was my reaction to toby talking
Gone???
Will you ever finish this?
This seems kind of interesting, but I'd appreciate it if you put more effort into editing.
Rip Toby. U will missed