Ponies Meet New York

by Caddy Finz

Chapter 6: Drunken Clones and Broken Bones

I woke up in the middle of the road in a daze after being hit by a car. I wasn't looking where I was going so naturally, I got clobbered. I was fortunate enough though that it was a compact and I probably fared better than its front bumper. Still though, I was seeing stars and little yellow birds so I couldn't get up and run quite yet. Still in my dazed state, I was helpless as the driver switched his hazard blinkers on and opened his door to exit.

"My civic!" The driver who sounded like a young man exclaimed as he got out and examined his car. "I just bought this thing!"

After a brief moment of surveying the damage, though still a little blurry, I could see the kid turn his attention to me. As my eyesight slowly returned, I could see that the guy was indeed a young, very tall twenty something with black hair and brown eyes...and I couldn't help but think he looked familiar. I just couldn't put my hoof on it but I swear I've seen this kid somewhere before. But where?

"Vinnie!" The girls shouted in unison as they galloped over to my aid.

"What?" The young guy said as he turned his attention to my friends. "Did somebody call me?"

Wow, his name is "Vinnie" too? What are the odds? Either way, it looked like I was gonna be alright. The impact just knocked me back a little bit but I was okay. The car was a little green Honda that the cake twins could crush if they wanted to.

"Okay, this is gettin' fuckin' weird!" The kid said as he grabbed a flask out of his pocket and took a big swig. "Candy colored ponies that talk? One of them is named 'Vinnie'? What the fuck is going on in this town?"

The girls just stared at him with their mouths agape like they saw a ghost or something. Maybe they were thinking the same thing I was. Maybe they too know this guy from somewhere. This was getting weird. Maybe I hit my head harder than I thought. Nothing made sense.

"Please, mister." Twilight began. "We're just trying to find our way back home. Please don't report us to the authorities."

Instead of answering, the guy responded by chugging the remaining contents of his flask before he finally spoke, already starting to show his buzz.

"Listen, little purple dude." The kid slurred. "I'm like, the last *hic* guy who's gonna be ca-*braaap*lling the cops around here! That'd be really fu-*urp*cking stupid."

"Don't yah think it's a bit early in the day to get plastered there, pardner?" Applejack said. "It ain't good for yah, yah know."

"Aw, you shaddup! I ain't gonna take that cr-*braaaa*p from you! You're just a hamburger to me! Put 'em up and I'll...oh shit!"

He may have been hammered but he was right about one thing. Police sirens were wailing in the distance and they were getting closer. I don't know who this kid was who stood before me but the both of us didn't wanna deal with the police right now. I was an animal who attacked an officer on the loose and this kid was way too drunk to be out in public, let alone behind the wheel of a car.

"Fuck this, I'm outta here!" The young man said as he got back into his car and peeled off, knocking down a parking meter before he was out of sight.

"Girls, let's go!" I commanded. "We're too exposed without that car! C'mon!"

Luckily, we hadn't gone too far from the impound yard where we found my old Bruiser Cruiser...Yeah, I gave my car a nickname, big deal. A lot of people do it. Still, we needed to get back there and behind the fence as fast as we could before we got spotted by the police. If that happens, we're as good as dead. Every one of us. I wasn't about to let that happen.

The second the last of us was placed back on the ground over the chain link fence, a convoy of three NYPD cars screamed by. Just for good measure, I took a peak over to see the cars go around a corner and they kept going. They hadn't seen us so we were outta the woods...for now.

"Okay, girls..." I began as all of us huffed and puffed to catch out breaths. "I think if we get this car moving, we can get to Manhattan a lot faster and without any more problems from the cops. You with me on this?"

"Of course we are, dude." Rainbow Dash replied.

"You can count on us!" Pinkie replied.

"Vincenzo?" Rarity said. "I agree and I'm one hundred percent behind you on this but...well, I don't know about you girls but I thought that young man who hit him looked...familiar."

"Actually Vinnie, I think she's right." Twilight added. "I don't know where but I just feel like we've seen him before."

"Your guess is as good as mine." I replied. "I dunno, we've just been through a lot lately. I'm sure it's all in our heads. Jackie, can yah help me get this parking boot off the wheel? I bet you could kick this thing right off. Jackie?"

I looked over my shoulder to see what was taking the girls so long to respond or if they were even listening in the first place. They clearly weren't as they appeared to be huddled up in a circle with their heads down as if they were planning a hoofball play or something. I never saw them do that before but I gotta admit, it was amusing and kinda cute to see them do that. But why were they doing it?

Instead of speaking up to interrupt them, I decided to sneak over and eavesdrop on their conversation. As I got closer, I could just make out what they were saying.

"Do you think that guy we saw might have something to do with that?" Fluttershy whispered.

"I don't know, dear..." Rarity began. "But I just have this feeling that we should try to get to the bottom of it."

"Ah just don't git it." Jackie said. "Tall, dark hair, brown eyes, that nose and chin of his...Ah just can't put mah hoof on it."

"I'm telling you, guys!" Rainbow said, slightly raising her voice. "I swear, I think that guy looks like..."

Before Rainbow Dash could finish her sentence, all six of the girls raised their heads and looked over at me. Judging by their confused expressions, I think the fact that they caught me eavesdropping looked to be the least of their worries.

"What?" I asked as the girls stared at me. "Who'd the kid look like?"

The girls then lowered their heads one last time to exchange a few more whispers among themselves. I was getting very confused and honestly, I didn't care for how they were stalling everything. Finally, at long last, they all raised their heads back up and turned to face me.

"Vinnie?" Twilight asked.

"Yes, Sparks?" I replied, in an irritated tone.

"Um, as I can recall, you told me that you had no immediate family when you left New York, right?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"Did you at least have any Aunts or Uncles?" Rarity asked. "Any cousins, perhaps?"

"No, it was just me and my mother, okay? When she died, aside from the whelks that you find in spaghetti sauce, I was the only Scungilli left. Where are we going with this?"

I was getting nowhere fast and I was starting to get very frustrated. I loved these ponies so much but even still, they were testing my patience. They just gave me another confused look and I had to explain something that really wasn't very important.

"Ugh! My last name is a word for a sauce with chopped up sea snails that you put on pasta! Now c'mon, we need to get to work so we can get outta here! I'm telling you, we're all just tired and stressed out! He was just some random guy we'll never see again!"

"Okay, Vinnie." Sparks sighed. "C'mon, girls. We need to get this done. Princess Celestia will be waiting for us at the portal tomorrow."

"Thanks, Sparks. Look, If I act like a dick, it's not coming from the heart. We're in a rough state."

"I know you don't mean it, Vinnie."

"Good. Okay, I think I can get it to start. Jackie, if you would please?"

"Ah'm on it, sugarcube." Applejack replied as she trotted over to the car and readied herself for her task.

If there was always something I liked to see, it was Applejack destroying things by bucking them into oblivion. After briefly looking over her target, she turned around and readied herself for her attack. I've always wanted to see a parking boot fly off of a car after being smacked hard enough and Applejack was the one to make it happen.

Clank!

Or so I thought...This didn't work out as well as I'd hoped it would. The big iron boot hadn't budged an inch but Applejack's kick actually made the car move a little. If this thing is tough enough to withstand blunt force strong enough to move the front end of a five thousand pound car, then this was gonna be a lot harder than I though. However, it would soon turn out that the parking boot would now be the beginning of another problem.

"Applejack! you're bleeding!" Fluttershy exclaimed.

It was just the sad truth. Applejack was glued to the spot, the puddle of blood under her left, rear hoof steadily getting bigger. Her leg began to shake as she stood on it and she then lifted it off the ground revealing a sizable crack on the bottom of her hoof. Applejack is a tough girl. Like, really tough. To see her biting her bottom lip as tears rolled down her face was an indication that she was in an unimaginable amount of pain.

"Jackie, sweetie are you okay?!" I asked as I rushed over to her. I quickly got my answer as she collapsed on the ground and proceeded to bawl as the shock went away. Applejack isn't one to let a little pain or even a great deal of it make her cry like that so we all knew that this was very bad. This was the final straw. I was gonna get all of us out of here with no more harm to my friends come Hell or high water.

"Girls, get her in the car!" I commanded. "There's a bunch of towels in the trunk! Take the ones that don't already have blood on them and wrap up her leg! Give her another one to bite down on! We're getting out of here if I gotta blow this thing up in the end!"

The trunk was popped open and the towels I always kept in there were quickly being wrapped around Applejack's wounds while I searched for the wires I needed to hot-wire the car. In the line of work I was in, it was always a good idea to keep something that can soak up any spilled fluids. What was most important right now was that we were finally on our way to central park and ultimately our ticket out of here. It was either now or never and I didn't care that I was reduced to gnawing wires like a rat and getting zapped in the process.

Finally, the car was started and running. It was an old clunker with stale, three year old gas in the tank but as long as it's got four wheels and moves down the street, it's all we need. My hopes were that I could try to drive the car a little bit so the parking boot falls off and then cruise over to Manhattan so we'd be able to meet Princess Celestia as soon as she gets there.

"Girls, buckle up and brace yourselves!" I said as I climbed into the driver's seat. "We're in for a bumpy ride!...Er-hang on a second...I can't seem to...shift this...Fuck!"

"What's wrong, Vinnie?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I'm trying to shift this lever but I've never driven a car with hooves before! Sparks, is your horn working yet?"

"Sorry, Vinnie." Twilight replied. "It still hurts to even try."

"Gem, how about you?"

"Much of the same, dear." Rarity replied. "I wish I could help, really I do."

"Alright, I'm just gonna have to...come on you piece of crap! There!"

If the simple task of shifting the car into drive was that hard, I'm dreading trying to steer it, let alone get it moving with that chunk of iron stuck to the wheel. As much as I one loved this car, I loved my friends more and with one of them injured in the back seat, I was more than ready to risk damage to this machine. The engine sputtered and coughed at first when I placed my hoof on the pedal but even with dirt and gunk going through its fuel system, it worked up some nerve. As I slowly pressed the pedal down further, the front end lifted itself off the ground slightly. Since I had it just where I wanted it, I gave it more gas still until the front end was raised nearly a foot off the ground where it reached its peak and fell back to the ground with a nasty bang.

"D'oh!" I yelled as my head hit the ceiling as the car came back down.

"I feel like I've seen this somewhere before." Pinkie said as she observed the situation.

"Not now, Pinkster! There's a place and time for everything but this isn't it!"

The end of the boot was now on the other side of the wheel which would make it easier for it to turn. Just a few more spins and hopefully the boot would fall off. The hard part was over...or so I thought. Just when I started thinking that it would be smooth sailing, the the device got caught on the front fender and proceeded to tear it clean off. Like I said, I didn't care about the car anymore but the issue was that it was making a lot more noise than I would have liked.

Once again, the front end went up and came down with a bang and again my head hit the top and a "d'oh!" escaped from my mouth. Just when I thought it couldn't get any noisier, we now had the chain link fence I had to push over. Luckily, that came down quickly and easily enough but hot damn was it loud! We were now just entering the street when at long last, the parking boot could take no more and flew off as the front end lifted up one last time.

It was getting dark which wasn't something I was about to complain about. It won't help a whole lot but it will just a little. We were now in a car which would somewhat keep us hidden and fewer people are out in the evening...I said fewer, not no people at all. They call this the city that never sleeps for a reason. No matter. It looks like we're all gonna be okay and outta here by tea time tomorrow. Right at this moment, all that mattered to me was the look of relief on all my friends' faces as we drove off into the night.

Comments

[DarkStarz]

fucking.... more... cliff hangers... AHHHH!!!s2.quickmeme.com/img/d4/d442665734c56a487b25238f1cca866a154167429dc3faa739ecbb457739f75c.jpg

[Caddy Finz]

6878281 The individual of whom is responsible for such a terrible atrocity would be yours truly C'mon guy, you gotta sit back, grab a beer and relax This story is going to be chock full of cliffhangers at the end of every chapter They'll all be answered in the end. Trust me

[Flutters Is Shy]

Aren't boots designed so the car can't be driven? If the car has enough torque to tear off the bumper, wouldn't that force instead be focused on the axel, which is inherantly weaker because of its moving parts?

And the car actually worked. Neat.

What's the law regarding the ownership of a cop car? Thinking about it makes me antsy.