Ponies Meet New York

by Caddy Finz

Chapter 15: Dead Pony Trotting

"You know this guy?" Vincent asked me.

"Stay outta my way punk!" The Dark Star who was disguised as a New York state trooper yelled. He then proceeded to firmly lay his heavy flashlight across Vincent's jaw, knocking him straight to the ground. It was right at that moment when he hit the ground and lay there, something really dangerous in me was triggered and about to explode. In the back of my mind however, I knew very well that this overly gung ho dog catcher was after me, not Vincent. With the adrenaline rushing through me, it was getting difficult to think rationally.

"Ho intenzione di cazzo ucciderti!!!" I screamed in my old language as I charged after the phony cop with all my might.

It's been a long time since I just up and let loose like that. In my younger days, I wouldn't have thought twice about throwing punches first and asking questions later. As I got older though, I became more of a thinker than a fighter and now I was about to throw that out the window. I galloped towards the Dark Star and when I got close enough, I jumped up to lunge at him, my hooves ready to connect with his face. Little did I know that he too was ready for me.

Just as I came within an arm's length of him, the Dark Star grabbed the baton out of his belt and used it to block my attack. I landed back on all fours and readied myself for my next move. I was planning on charging at him again but instead of jumping up to hit him in the face like he expects, I'd hit one of his legs. He proved to be one hell of a problem as he once again saw through my strategy and used the baton to block. He was a stocky, heavier guy but he's got the agility of a cat.

"What else you got, little horsey?" The Dark Star taunted as he and I stared each other down.

"Buddy, when I get my hooves on you, I'm gonna crush your fucking skull..." I said through my teeth as he and I kept staring while walking in a circle.

"Oh yeah? Why don't you do it then? Looks to me like you're all talk."

I saw my next opportunity and went for it. I darted to my left like I was about to gallop away from him. Just as he began to follow I changed my course and darted to my right, taking my foe by surprise. I then made a circle around behind him and once his back was turned towards me, I bolted over to him and slid in between his legs. After I stopped just in front of him, I then bucked my hind legs to kick him in the shins. I was expecting him to fall to his knees where I could then turn around and knock him out. What I didn't expect was to feel a strong hand wrapped around each of my back hooves.

From the bottom of my hooves to the top of my head, I'm not much more than three feet tall and I weigh about sixty-five pounds when I'm soaking wet. The guy who was about to lift me up by my rear hooves is about six feet tall and must outweigh me by nearly two hundred. Now that he had a death grip on me, I didn't seem to have any more odds in my favor, assuming I actually did to begin with. Just as I expected, he effortlessly lifted me up but he didn't stop there and before I could give him any choice words, he slowly started to spin around. As he quickened up his spinning, the realization that he was planning to launch me like a rocket hit me and it wouldn't be long before I was going to hit something.

"Here, I'll teach you how to fly like those winged friends of yours!" The Dark Star said as he continued to spin me around.

"Dude! Stop!" I pleaded. "I'm gonna puke! I got a bad heart! C'mon, put me down!"

The crazy dog catcher cared about what I had to say as much as the last U.S. president cared about the lower class and a few more three-sixties later, he released my hooves launching me into the air. I knew I was about to get hurt badly and without wings or unicorn magic, I was helpless and could do nothing as I sailed through the air to wherever I was about to land of which I had no choice. The last thing I saw before everything went black was the word "Excelsior" on the seal plastered on the side door of the state police car that the psycho star used to get here.

---

"Units be advised, stolen cruiser spotted." A strange voice said as I woke up in a daze. "State police car number sixty-three last seen near Liverpool going Southbound towards Syracuse."

"And it's about to be at the bottom of a lake, you chumps!" Another, more nearby and familiar voice said.

"I don't know who you are but you better bring that car back! If we have to come to you and get it, there's going to be a heap of trouble!"

"Heheh. You state cops are a bunch of pussies! You want your car back? Bring a crane to haul it out of the water! Over and out, bitches!"

"Wha? Am I...?" I stuttered as my blurry vision very slowly came into focus.

I was in a rough state as the immense pain in my head made clear. Now that I could see the familiar type surface I was laying on, I could see that I had done a good deal of bleeding. I could tell that whatever I was laying on was a firm plastic or vinyl that was often used to line the back seats of cop cars. As things kept coming into better focus, I could see the balding head of the guy who knocked me and my son out, bound all my legs together with duct tape and took me Celestia knows where.

"Well, look whose awake!" The Dark Star said as he saw me stirring in his rear view mirror. "Good thing too, we're gonna need to ditch this ride."

"Why are you..." I stuttered. "Wh-what do you want with me? You followed me all the way from New York just for a dog catcher job?"

"Hold that thought, little guy. We're dumping this thing."

Before he said anything else, the Dark Star put the cruiser in park and got out. I had no idea where he was going or what he was about to do. He said he was about to dump the ride but why with me still in it? About two whole minutes passed before I heard another peep from him but then he finally did come back having changed from the gray trooper uniform into his black animal control garb. He opened the back door of the car, dragged me out, placed me on the ground and went back up to the front of the car. After a few seconds, the car started rolling forwards and down a steep hill where it soon fell into a large body of water. The Dark Star had left the windows down so within seconds, the blue Crown Victoria was resting on the toxic bottom of the vile, putrid cesspit that is Onondaga Lake.

As I lay on the ground all tied up, I looked over to where the Dark Star had walked off to and saw his white van pulling out from behind a fence in an alleyway where he had apparently hidden it. He then parked it, got out, lifted me up again and walked me over to the back of the van where he opened the back door and set me in. The guy's an asshole but hey, he was at least gentle enough not to toss me in like a bag of garbage, I'll give him that. I was about to find out why though. If you're about to sell something, usually you'd want it damaged as little as possible.

"Okay, where were we?" The Dark Star asked through a small open window between the cab and back of the van.

"Why are you doing this?" I whimpered. "What did I ever do to you?"

"It wasn't personal until you made me look like an ass the first time we met. But that's just the icing on the cake. Do you have any idea what science will pay for a green talking horse?"

"Of course. In the end, it all boils down to greed. Look man, we're not just a bunch of dumb animals. We think, we have feelings, we can love. Hell, I even used to be a human."

"That a fact? That just might fetch me a few more million. That and a six more wacky colored ponied with horns and wings."

"What!? No! Not my friends too!"

"And you're all from another universe too. If I can find that portal between here and there, I could sell your entire kind."

"Are you out of your mind!? Dude, our currency is pure gold! A half ounce gold coin is like a dollar to us, we can give you all the money you could ever want!"

"Oh, how generous of you. So after I clean out the ponies and ship them off to labs, I can go in and clean out some more dough."

"What the...you're sick! You're a fucking psychopath! You'd destroy an entire civilization of innocent creatures for money!?"

"Hey, it's not like I'm doing it for pocket change. Hell, I could buy out Donald fucking Trump with the payload. Now about that portal..."

"I'll never tell you where it is! I'd sooner die so you might as well skip the hassle and put a three fifty-seven in my skull!"

I wasn't joking about that at all. If it meant keeping all of Equestria safe from this lunatic, I'd let him torture me until I was dead. My friends, the princesses, all the citizens and foals of Equestria depended on my keeping my mouth shut so sacrificing myself to save many is what I'll do if I have to. On the other hoof...Vincent also depends on me. I promised I'd never let him down again. Maybe Equestria could defend themselves against one crazy bastard and whatever goons he has go in there with him. It's not like he can get the U.S. army to attack. We've dealt with worse. My old boss' cronies had machine guns and weren't too hard to take down, why should this guy be?

But what if he actually gets enough money to hire a private army? With millions of dollars, he could actually pull that off. In all my fifty years, I don't think I've ever had to make such a hard decision. In any event, I had nothing to say to the monster driving me off to who knows where and I was hurt, sore, exhausted and on the verge of a mental breakdown so I could do nothing but cry myself to sleep in the back of the van heading to Hell.

---

Several hours later, I was woken up by the light of the sun coming through the small window on the back of the van I was tied up in. I couldn't see anything else as the window was too high out of my reach but by the way I could feel the van moving, I could tell we were going through stop-and-go traffic thick enough for none other than the Big Apple. After a little while of that, the van stopped and the engine shut off. I figured unless some kind of miracle happens, I was about to be dragged out and made to squeal on my friends. It would turn out that they wouldn't have to make me say anything as I heard several familiar female voices and sounds of a struggle outside.

"No, no! Please, don't hurt us!" Pinkie Pie pleaded as the back door of the van was opened.

As I lay on the floor, I could see Pinkie with the loop of a catch pole around her neck and some animal control goon pulling her towards me. When they were close enough, the man then lifted her up and shoved her in. Seeing that I was there with her and in a rough state, a shivering Pinkie Pie held me tightly as one by one the rest of the girls were hauled into the van. After Pinkie, a sobbing Fluttershy was tossed in and then Rarity next as she gave the men a few choice words. Next to be tossed in was Applejack who couldn't fight back even if she wanted to. Not with her wounded leg. Twilight put up a fight as two men had to hold her down with their catch poles but she too was violently brought to the ground and thrown in to join the rest of us. Rainbow Dash would be the last one in.

The girls and I knew that Rainbow Dash was not one to go quietly and sure enough, we could see her outside bucking her back legs in any direction she could. She violently shook around as three guys each had a loop around her neck and even with all that team effort, they were still struggling to control her until something happened that made me feel more helpless that ever. As Rainbow put up a valiant fight against the animal control officers, the Dark Star walked up and laid the sole of his boot across her face as hard as he could and we were all powerless to stop him. As our friend lay unconscious on the pavement with blood pouring from her muzzle, the goons then tossed her into the van with the rest of us and closed the door.

"Girls..." I sobbed as they attended to Rainbow Dash. "Whatever happens, just know that I love you all so much!"

"We love you too, Vinnie!" Twilight whimpered.

"Girls, listen to me very carefully. I think...I think they're gonna try to get me to tell them where the portal is. I'll never tell them so...I think I'm going to die very soon. I need you all to stay strong and-"

"NO!" Rarity shouted. "You're not going anywhere! They'll have to kill me too if that's what it takes! Or we could find a way to escape! We always do!"

"Gem, listen, try to understand. They want to go to Equestria and sell out everypony they get their hands on! I'll die before I let that happen! I just...girls, if you can get out of this, I just want you promise me one thing."

"Anything, darling."

"Vincent's not gonna live long if he keeps poisoning himself the way he is. Please, take care of him for me."

As the girls ripped the duct tape from my hooves, we all huddles together for what was about to be our last group hug before I was to be tortured and made to give up my friends back home. I meant every word I said. I was going to sacrifice myself if it meant saving Equestria and giving my friends a chance to escape. I so badly wanted to be there for my son though but he's survived his whole life without me. He's not going to survive drowning himself in booze much longer.

Author's Note:

Translation: "Ho intenzione di cazzo uccidrt" means "I'm going to FKing kill you"