Rarity, best dress maker in ponyville, takes dresses requests from many ponies for the upcoming Gala but soon she takes a request of a Mare that's sweet looking, who suffers a condition known as incontinence. In hoping to finish this dress she'll need to be able to be awe inspiring and above all make the dress appearance great for concealing her condition which is of course her diaper. She searches for a model but comes up empty hoof, the only way to fill the order was to wear one herself and be able to finish the measurements. Will her own motives deny this ridiculous idea or will her heart tell her what's right and what will become of this...
This story does contain diapers and diaper uses. Please hope that if this story isn't right for you then your more than happy to skip this. This is a big story I worked on in Christmas time and hoped that all those days of editing i hope it turns out alright.
I love it!
Only one mistake
Quite
Otherwise a good story, have a thumbs up
5517337 ARG! So close
An okay story, though I personally feel like these plot points should've been split up into seperate chapters.
5543960 I agree it could have been split into three chapters at the most. But still a good read.
A quaint little story. i"m not very good at giving anything detailed of how i likd it but it was cute at times.
5544002 peanut butter
5558992 Where? :D
5559973 you silly
5561120 I knew that.......... No I didn't.
great story. First time all adult mane 6 in diapers. Poor rainbow, hiding behind that tough exterior is a scared pony..
5581561 Thanks, this idea was a go for and boy did it ever got a good amount of likes
Strange because in other diaper stories I've seen RD is actually one of the more accepting ones. She simply doesn't care if she makes a fool out of herself. After all she does that all the time.
5585192 If I can ask without problems... what do you mean?
5585883
RD just doesn't seem the type to be embarresed so easily.
5586234 No she's quiet embarrassed, she's still a tom boy pony like character its just even big shots can have a fear. Nopony is perfect
5587364
Mostly it's AJ that is the most resistant to it.
5587425 Yep
A really cute story you have here.
I also liked this the most:
Best story in a story EVER!
6013226 hehe to be honest this Whole story started out as a simple rp session with my buddy and finally during my vaca to Mississippi and a story was made and the picture was a nice pic
Tenses, tenses!
Should all be in past tense...just for starters.
6042020 all perfect then again no one is so we all do make mistakes. But I'm happy with what I did for the story
6015230 Oh. RP sourced story...that explains why it seems to flip flop between past and present so much, as well as the other issues.
The trouble with RP-sourced stories is that, in order to make them readable, you usually have to do a complete re-write of the whole thing; simply trying to fix individual grammar mistakes is rarely have to do an enormous amount of re-writing; simply trying to spot-check the grammar is rarely enough.
Let me know if you ever get around to doing that, and if it's improved enough, I'll give you an upvote-the story is pretty cute, it's just the readability gets in the way.
6042190 The thing is that I did Rewrite this as is from the rp. I added some extra stuff and different things as such. But besides that what do you think of that?
6042545
O...K...
First of all, 98% of storytelling is in past tense. If you just fix the tensing, the quality will go up enormously. Do that, let me know you've done that, and I'll re-read and spot-fix some of the remaining errors; it's a shame for such a cute story to be marred by so many errors.
Deal?
6042593 that's.. a problem. I have no editor otherwise this would be fix. I said on a blog if anyone would be an editor but no responses jjust comments on saying good luck and what not. can you help me out with this?
Okay. I had to take some time after reading this to compose myself so i could speak like a friend.
In all honesty, i do like the premise of this fic. It's cute and is somewhat believable. However, this is also a case of great idea but bad execution. It is a good story and, when i can find the time, i might be able to edit it for you so it reads far better.
As it stands now though, love the idea, but it was hard to read
Sounds like a script of a good episode. You really nailed it on this one dude.
SO! first off want to say, for a first time, this was absolutely adorable. I'll have to see if you have any more writings. ^_^
I doubt you'll probably ever really get this message, but if you do, I have a message for you. From one writer to another, keep it up! you've got a good start. You could use a bit of work on flow though. My recommendation would be to just write the story out as it comes. if it hits the 8k mark, find a spot or two (AFTER YOU'VE FINISHED) to break it up into a couple of chapters. it's better to keep a flow vs shortening up things to fit a certain bracket.
Also devil in the details. Sometimes you were very descriptive, other times not so much. I'm a bit of a hypocrite to complain about this, but i'm doing it anyways. :p Find a balance of details. Do you want to explain the scene or just let our imaginations do it for us? how much do you want to feed us? find your balance.
And...that's about all i can really say to be honest. If you ever want to talk or would like help with future writing, I wouldn't mind offering a helping hoof! I have both skype and Steam and use them both pretty often.
Skype: Raven.Rakuhl.Venice
Steam: search up Ink Stain
Seriously though, this is a message to all future writers...never be afraid to try. your first story is going to be the hardest, after that it starts to work out on it's own. And (shameless self advertising) if you would like to read some of my stuff for inspiration or to see how much a bit of practice and hard work can lead, hit me up. Well, that's all I've got, so this is inky, signing out!
7556578 Hello there, I thank you for giving this a read and giving it a shot. This story was actually done in a duration of 2 weeks during my christmas Vacation. I did a good amount of checks and so on...
Your right i could've added chapters instead of adding the whole thing. But I wanted just to one off it. Though this has been done in different rps where it has continued past this story.
Also i sorta had no editor so there are different flags and grammer issues.. But hey.. i was sorta alone and i did ask for help many of times... Plus also one to help me out with a new story. I Really wanted to write a newer story that involves Drama, Cute Play, Sadness, Revelation, and Heart Warming. Please Note me back if you really wanna talk more and I'll give you my skype name (Reason is cause Notes are personal so they aren't in the open)