(Not a Fairy Tail crossover picture gave me an idea) Victor a creation of science a man with little knowledge of the outside world thinking of it only as a distant dream is given a chance to be part of a new world and a chance at a life
5485197 I SHALL FIX THAT.............SOON.....................in three months..............maybe later. But seriously I didn't mean to put the s Victor is 7' 4"
Another minor formatting gripe; always start a new paragraph when you change speakers with quotes because otherwise it can get confusing as to who is speaking unless you literally put a "Name said" at the end of every sentence which can hurt narrative flow at times and get repetitive when only two people are speaking.
Edit: elipsis are just three periods. Doing more just needlessly takes up space a lot of the time and rarely helps the visual look of a paragraph while not necessarily adding anything.
Second edit:
Whah don't yah tell us then promising ?
This sentence makes no sense, even if you Intended through the thick accent to ask "Why don't you tell us then promising?" Also, no space as mentioned in prior post.
Third edit: screw it I spotted more errors as I went along. Get a proofreader or a copy-editor. You need it badly as there are points like the second edit where I have no idea what you're saying other than a wild guess.
looks good
Nice cant wait wait for the next
More please.
5485197 I SHALL FIX THAT.............SOON.....................in three months..............maybe later. But seriously I didn't mean to put the s Victor is 7' 4"
lookin good
5485900 Thanks I try just hope I can keep the likes coming in
5485907 I'm sure you can and will. Just keep doing what your doing and have fun.
This guy got overwhelmed with a rope and a pegasus....and all she can think about is to threaten him with their most powerful weapon?
Not the best behaviour towards someone that has yet to show the slightest sign of being hostile /a threat.
I hope the Princesses are different.
well so far so good but the clothes are in fact a fairy tail rip off except the shirt other than that boom best thing ever.
Story is good, but you didn't introduce twilight.
Another minor formatting gripe; always start a new paragraph when you change speakers with quotes because otherwise it can get confusing as to who is speaking unless you literally put a "Name said" at the end of every sentence which can hurt narrative flow at times and get repetitive when only two people are speaking.
Edit: elipsis are just three periods. Doing more just needlessly takes up space a lot of the time and rarely helps the visual look of a paragraph while not necessarily adding anything.
Second edit:
This sentence makes no sense, even if you Intended through the thick accent to ask "Why don't you tell us then promising?" Also, no space as mentioned in prior post.
Third edit: screw it I spotted more errors as I went along. Get a proofreader or a copy-editor. You need it badly as there are points like the second edit where I have no idea what you're saying other than a wild guess.