Chapter 1
Twilight Sparkle has always been a pony who loves to read. She read everything she could get her hands on, and loved going to the Royal Canterlot Library. One day, the Twilight realized she had read everything the Royal Library had to offer. She confronted the Librarian, and asked her if the Library had anything the she had never checked out.
The Librarian very awkwardly said no, and then comended Twilight for her tedious feat. She even offered to hold a small ceremony for Twilight, who was in fact the first person to burn the the entire Royal Library of Canterlot, and at such a young age. Despite this Twilight declined any praise whatsoever, almost angrily at that.
Twilight wasn't convinced of course, there was a locked door near the entrance to the library, and based on what Twilight has surveyed from the inside and outside of the Canterlot building, it was possible for there to be a pretty decent sized room on the other side of that door. She also figured that in wasn't any sort of employee area because nopony ever entered or exited it, ever.
Finally fed up with it, Twilight consulted Princess Celestia on the matter, specifically if there were any other books left. The Princess was hesitant at first, but quickly gave in because Twilight was so determined. She told Twilight that there was one last book that wasn't left available to the general public, and then she took a slip of paper and used a levitated quill to write a note and gave it to Twilight.
The note was a simple message to the Librarian telling telling her to give Twilight the book. Twilight Hurriedly galloped over to the Library, note in hoof. Once she got there she immediately showed the Librarian the note and told her that she'd like the book now. The Librarian took the note from Twilight, stared at it for a second, and then told Twilight to wait where she stood.
The Librarian trotted over to the door that was normally always closed and locked, pulled out a key she had been using to tie her mane with, and went into the room. From what Twilight could make out from the stance she had been told to stay in, the room wasn't nearly as wide or tall as she thought was possible, but instead looked to be occupied mostly by thick looking metal walls and a low ceiling of the same description.
The Librarian came out after about a minute with what seemed like a cheap leather bag with a large book in it. The Librarian withheld the bag from Twilight and said:
"First off don't read page 108, don't even look. Furthermore I'm afraid to say that this is gonna cost 45 bits, and if you think that's a lot I'm actually giving it to you for a discount."
Twilight was surprised by this, but seeing the size of the book-like figure in the bag and the fact that it was a discount she quickly handed over her hard earned allowance for the book.
Twilight was able to finish the book within a couple days, and though that might seem short that's actually longer then most books Twilight had read. The book was a bit hefty after all.
It wasn't anything substantially special, though it was a decent read. It was much like a dictionary mixed with a history book on the topic of Magic, though the Magic was a bit dark.
Twilight had obeyed the Librarian and not looked at page 108, but gradually as time went on the lack of any reading material whatsoever Twilight grew curios. Finally, on a day Twilight was particularly lost in life her desires got to her and went and got the book out.
She slowly opened the book up with her magic and flipped to page 108. The page was titled "Suggested Reading Material" and listed several books on magic as well as some information on them, what they were about, how many pages and Manufacturer Suggested Retail Price (MSRP). At first she spotted nothing notable, though the contents seemed a little strange and out of place for such an obscure spot in the book. Then she noticed that the book itself, the one she was reading, was listed. She found this a bit humorous for a moment, that is, until she saw it.
She lost control of the levitating book, allowing it to fall right on top of her filly stomach. She let out a small squeak when the large book fell on her, but it didn't hold a candle to the HORROR she had just uncovered.
There in the information section, of the entry for the book she had just dropped on herself, in bold print, was MSRP 10Bits.
The Librarian was a Jew!
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What the---?
I heard this joke before. Bravo to you for reminding me of this.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!..... Wait sense when does equestria have jews???
This is basically a single joke with a long lead up. treat it as such. Last line might be slightly offensive to some, but I'm too unfazed by stuff like that to care. I got no beef against the Juden.
Just the Librarian
An old joke.
The Librarian's religion has nothing to do with her inflating the price of the book. The joke would have been as good if you had finished with:
The Librarian had ripped her off!
As it is, the ending is just offensive.
25606
Hey, the Old Testament describes Jewish unicorns:
Psalms 92:10 But my horn shalt thou exalt like the horn of an unicorn: I shall be anointed with fresh oil.
Job 39:9-10 Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee, or abide by thy crib? Canst thou bind the unicorn with his band in the furrow? or will he harrow the valleys after thee?
Job 39:11 Wilt thou trust him, because his strength is great? or wilt thou leave thy labour to him?
Job 39:12 Wilt thou believe him, that he will bring home thy seed, and gather it into thy barn?
The bigger question is: Since when did Equestria have goyim?
....That's not funny, dude. That's actually pretty rude.
The funniest thing about this is how it has 801 words.
25640 If you think ending it that way would be a good idea, your a Jew, and/or a fucking moron.
Who in there right mind would come up with such an un-comedic and ultimately stupid way to end a story, you are a disgrace to imaginaries everywhere.
25837
The amount wrong with being a Jew is equal to the amount wrong with being religious.
In other words, nothing.
and it makes sense for it to end the way they said, because the recommended price is ten bits.
it is sold for 45 at a discount.
So, that's a rip off.
Meh. Shouldn't have ended with the jew comment, but that's just me. Not because I found it offensive, more because it would have made it funnier.
Rightir_Russian_Mare, you're pushing it a little with this ending here, but I'm not going to delete it on that basis. But please refrain from being plain offensive in the comment section.
Thanks.
That scared me for a moment. Gawsh, that's hilarious
From an objective point of veiw, funny; from a personal point of veiw, not funny.