Brony, Writer, Artist, Editor/Beta, Gamer, Programmer, Engineer, Psychopath, Genius.
A horrible event has caused me to forget everything about who I am, and has sent me to the world of Equestria, where I'll crash-land in the Everfree Forest. I don't have a clue what I'm doing here, or what's going to happen, but if I live through my first night, I know I'm in for one heck of a ride! Also, where is all this fire coming from?
Be sure to review when you read, please!
Rated T for Language, Occasional Sex themes, and Violence.
Page generated in 0.127 seconds
Total duration
983 users online
1,112,275 hits today, 1,960,719 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
A murder robbery?
5471664 I'm afraid I'm unable to determine whether you're asking a genuine question or sarcastically mocking the plot. I'm assuming since that's all you wrote it's an actual question, but I can't be sure. Would you please clarify?
5471826 Speculative question based on his flashback, actually. Genuine Question. A fire, two or more gunmen. I suppose the fire makes the robbery aspect a bit less likely... Next question is how he ended up falling through a hole in dimensions, but that we might find out further along in the story.
I guess that history book rubbed off on him if he's calling out to Celestia.
5471893 Both the event at his home and his dimensional travel will be explained in a later chapter. As far as his rapid pony-ification, his transport caused sight psychological manipulation, which is also why he doesn't mind being naked, doesn't question the food, and didn't freak out about flight and magic. That, too, will be covered soon.
5471964 Figured as much
But I'm a rabid fan theorist and love nothing more than to spun ideas and set them out to dry and see if my models match up with fact.
General Story Comment Time: It's pretty good. Honestly can't see why it has so many dislikes. Must be the HiE+Fluttership combo. I suppose you can ignore them. I enjoyed it. It feels more slice of life than adventure to me, but that could just be because the story is building up. I like the steady pacing you have as well. It didn't feel dragged out either. Nice to see that he hasn't gotten over his parents. I know it's easy to loose track of certain plot points as you write. And man you write fast!
I envy Blaze, getting to work in the library. Lucky pony. But I guess this places it somewhere in season 4.
I was wondering how old he was.
Interesting
5479510 In a good way?
5479536 yes in a good way. Im liking this story. Cant wait for the next chapter.
5479983 Ask and you shall receive.
5480002 lol thanks
I don't know why people mix them up but that should be definitely, not defiantly
5497669 Total accident, thank you for brining it to my attention.
This story is really interesting. Keep it up!
Sweg
5505603 Rather confused as to what exactly that means...
Ah, the old 'we will hurt your loved ones' gambit. A classic.
Pipsqueak is quite the fanboy, isn't he?
While I don't mind the world saving plot (pretty cool, to be honest, like where it's going), I do think you rushed into it a tad. I mean, rage snap, cool down, gathering of important figures, taking up on an epic charge. It felt very exposition heavy, especially since the bearers (and princesses) sorta did nothing but stand their and look while Twilight spoke...
5602517 Thank you for the insight! Do you think it's worth spending a while editing, maybe even splitting into another chapter? Or should I just leave it and make my new work better? That was my last pre-written chapter, so from here on will be fresh, and I've learned a lot since I wrote this.
5617882 I'd say... put it on your to-do list. Doesn't have to be a priority, but for the sake of the overall story's flow and readability.
This feels odd coming from Fluttershy/ I guess I'm having trouble imagining her saying that.
long
way
Not
Usually
definitely
5720541
5720556
5720681
5720894
Noted, thank you greatly for your help. This is why I need multiple editors :P
I don't get why Twilight is in Canterlot