ive always loved making storys, but i was always scared of putting them up. i hope that will change on this site. well, here goes nothing
my name is pin stripe, i've been alone all my life. being alone...dose things to you. but you know, at the same time. i think its a good thing. because that horrid insanity drives you to keep going because your scared. all these...monsters, its tearing me apart. i just want it to stop. i have to get away from this...from my self.
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well here my first story, it based of a game ive played called cry of fear. in the future chapters, im probably going to put in references to other fan fics. MABEY!! i dont know. well hope you all like it!
*Sigh*
Spelling errors
Grammar mistakes
Oc self insert
I could go on and on
Is this zombies? I hope it's zombies, I like zombies.
This story has potential, but it needs time and practice. Is this the first draft of your story? I find when I write, the first draft usually goes through a lot of revisions. Aside from practicing the craft I would recommend you read other stories, be they fan faction, literature, or even a research paper, just to learn and see how other authors go about their writing. There is nothing here that can't be fixed and I would be happy to help you out if you need it.
how many other fics or books have you read before typing this?
im sorry every one. ill try hardder and try to make it better.
523534 im sorry. ill do better next chapter.
It's a great concept and all, but the spelling errors and grammar mistakes are many and close between, if you catch my drift. You need paragraphs and capitals and all that jazz. Maybe get yourself an editor?
Cry of Fear spinoff? Maybe I should give this gander.
Well written... Kind of. Remember to capitalize.
thank you all for your feed back. i know i suck at grammar. but i now have and editor. so grammar credit goes to the Scoundrel thank you so much for your help.
well... I'm sorry to say, I just can't get very far in this. It's not actually the story itself, but rather the lack of any kind of spacing between paragraphs... makes my eyes... Unfocus. A good rule of thumb is to hit enter twice after every 3 sentences, or between one person speaking and another. For example
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"The Great and Powerful Trixie demands you pathetic ponies pay her, now!" The deranged unicorn practically screamed across the town square.
"Umm, pay you for what," Twilight asked confused."
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Anywho, fix that and I will definitley give it a go.
ok ill try
ok so im hoping i did alot better this time. but please tell me about anything i missed and ill ask my editor for help. thank you
You have a great deal of errors. So many, in fact, that I cannot even begin to tell you. Unfortunately, my computer is down, so I can't offer help with editing. Once my computer is working I will let you know and I will edit for you. Just keep writing for now.
538900 ok, im sorry.
538902. Relax, the story is accurate and well written, you just have errors. I see past errors sometimes, though. This is one of those times. Just keep writing, I really like where this is going.
538915 really? ive been trying for three years to write good story..but ive never been able to.
538924 Maybe writing isn't your thing. Still, I like this story a lot.
538936 i thought of giving up..and just deleting everything..mabey your right
Cry of fear with. Ponies. YES YES YES YES WANT