It's finally the day of graduation and Princess Celestia invited all her students of magic school to a trip to Acapulcolt, but things goes out of control and now they all are lost in the island's of mareibean. How will they survive in this situation? Will they leave in this dessert island? And are they all really alone or safe?
this is a fanfic i decided to made based on the idea by DarknessRising
(the story contains small amount of clop)
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Wow, this sucks!
5386871 that is one awesome way to describe the story, but do you mind telling me why? beacuse i can't make this fic better by only three words. you know
were is chapter 2?
5400190 pledge loyalty to me and you will have it in less than two weeks. (Also you have to give me a song that involves a mestyrious mare/woman)
5401173 of what? were is chapter 2 is all.
5402156 i don't think you understand i said in ¡TWO WEEK'S!
Now sit there and wait like a good pony you are.
A few mistakes but otherwise a great story. You should get an editor or skim through the chapter yourself. Let's hope you don't abandon this fic, because too many good fics has been abandoned already. I'm going to put this story in my Tracking folder, so don't let a friend down!
5425645 worry not my little friend, it might take a few days than anticipated but it will be delivered.
Do you mind telling me those "mistake's" are there shuold be an explanation somewhere for them and if theres not then i think tht you shold blame Discord.
Shouldn't this story have at least one Dazzling tag?
6007498 it's the three of them or none of them.
Besides they are in the portrait.
interesting
when will be the next chapter?
6061097 since I'm busy with my other stories it, will take a while.
6061572 okey
no problem
so far, this is a good story. But i'll worn you now, this is a target for Grammar NAZIs.
6116523 the grammar nazis don't scare me.
But I always welcome an editor if hes up for the task.
Warning: Large edit
Look, I would've edited this for you, to point out the errors, but I think I'd be fixing half the story.
So, I'm going to pick up my man shorts, and start editing.
I also just re-type the sentences in the proper manner.
1st Chapter:
- Unneeded space between Velvet and To
- Yes, and I'm glad that you all came," replied(...)
- "Well it seems that you don't have to wait much longer," said Night Light as he looked forward, "here she comes," he added.
- Celestia was walking towards them with a slow walk, at the same time ponies around her were bowing in front of her. (Don't need any extras, just this sentence)
Celestia praised her star student with a serene smile, happy to see her and her family.
"I came here to tell you about the surpise I planned for you."
_________________
I put the rest of the edits in a google doc, here.
It's alive!!
You need an editor.
6575353
I would love to have one but no soul brave enough has stepped to the challenge.
Truly I've searched.
6462175 Thanks for your help and your assistance in the corrections, would you like to the editor of the story?
While it's your cannon and you decide how they are called but " Thestrals" are actually bat ponies not dragon ponies. Dragon Ponies are called Kirin.
6577924 Sadly I know, I should probably blame Harry potter for this.
But that won't stop me because in my eyes they will always be Thestrals.
Something funny is that I once thought that the earth ponies should be called
Speilnir but then they would say that they don't have eight legs.
6579262 I think you meant Sleipnir. Hopefully you get an editor soon to polish this little gem. It's been an interesting read so far.
why not Sex Tag ?
When can we expect the next chapter?