• Published 27th Nov 2014
  • 689 Views, 14 Comments

AppleSnapped - ShylyGirl



Applebloom has been a big burden on Applejack lately. And from every little thing that adds to her anger, Applejack's sanity begins to deteriorate.

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Welcome Home Suger Cube...

Author's Note:

This is my first ever fanfic stoy ever. So please goo easy on me, I'm learning. Feedback would be wonderful!

Thank you for all the lovely feed back on my first chapter!

-Shyly Girl

As Applejack walked out the front door of the house, she notice Granny Smith sitting in the rocking chair, glaring at her. Applejack knew that she had learned of what happened in the barn earlier. Big Mac being the goody two shoes he is must have told her. But hopefully, she didn't get all the details.

"Hi Granny." Applejack greeted. Trying to put a smile on her face, hoping to make the situation better. " I was just going to pick up Applebloom from school."

"Don't. I sent your brother to pick her up." She barked.

"Why can't..." Applejack tried to reason with Granny, but from the look on her face, every question will only be answered with a no.

AJ turned around and headed back into the house. She felt terrible. She knew what she had done was terrible, no matter what, Applebloom could not know of what happened. She would cry, she loved those sheep. Almost as much as she loved her family and friends. That sheep would surely die of blood lose, and Applebloom would want to know what happened to it. Somepony would tell the filly Applejack did it. No, she couldn't let that happen.

Applejack knew that Granny would be taking a nap soon, and maybe she'll forget about the incident. And she would send Big Mac to tend to the pig! she though. But, maybe he already did it. What else would keep him quiet...

Food.

Applejack pulled out her muffin tins and baking supplies, ready to make Big Mac's favorite. Strawberry-Apple Muffins with whipped cream. It was one strange type of muffin, but Big Mac would do anything for one, like shutting up. Even though Big Mac was one of the quietest ponies in town, just above Fluttershy on the list of Anti-Chatter Boxes, he would surely spill the beans.

Applejack had almost all the supplies she needed for the muffins. All except for flour and cinnamon. Thinking back to earlier this morning, she remembered her sister smashed both containers when she was making breakfast for the family.

Would Granny Smith at least let Applejack go into town? There was no need to worry about that, because by the time Applejack had reached the window to see if Granny was there, she saw Granny, fast asleep. So, she carefully opened the front door, and tip-hooves out of the yard.

But, then she remembered, Big Mac and Applebloom were walking home together... and Big Mac would tell her. Applejack knew it took awhile to get to the school on foot, so she began to run for the school, hoping that she would make it there before Big Mac. Applejack wished she were a pegasus or maybe a unicorn, or even Pinkie Pie at this point. She would be able to get there much fast. But, she tried her best and ran like the wind to get to the school, where she saw a sad, and teary eyed Applebloom outside.

"Hey sugar cube..." Applejack panted as she slowed down to greet her sister.

"Hey Applejack."

"Whats the matter?" Applejack asked. "Why don't we walk home and talk."

Applebloom looked back at the school.

"But, Big Mac is already here. He's inside talking with Miss Cheerilee." She groaned.

"Whats he talken to her about?" Applejack worrisomely said. Hopefully Big Mac didn't Mention the incident to her. "Lets just go. He'll catch up."

The two walked in silence. Never to utter a word to each other, or any other pony along the way. Both ponies had a gloomy expression on their faces. Applejack felt as if Big Mac would catch up soon, even if they were pretty far down the dirt path. She panicked and started to talk about things.

"So... You want to play a game... you know to cheer you up..." Applejack asked. "...we'd run to the house to see who got there first."

"Its no use. It would obviously be you, you so much faster than me." Applebloom mumbled.

Applejack pouted, kind of like the way Rarity did when she saw Applebloom's failed test. They continued to walk, all the way to Sweet Apple Acres. The whole time, Applejack felt on edge and antsy. The whole rest of the walk consisted of Applejack flinching at every little movement that happened around them. From the rustling of a bush, to the wind blowing against her blonde mane.

As they reached the apple orchard, she noticed Granny Smith on the porch, wide awake.

"Howdy Granny!" Applebloom hollered.

Granny Smith only rocked in the chair, not even noticing that Applebloom was there. Her golden-orange eyes fixed on Applejack. Her expression only giving AJ the feeling of guilt. The only thing to do now was walk up to her and apologize I guess Applejack pondered. Applejack told Applebloom to go up stairs and clean her room. Once the filly was gone, Applejack had to confront her grandmother.

"Look, I'm sorry Granny. I know you told me not to pick Applebloom up, but.." Applejack sobbed.

"But what?" Granny Smith snapped.

"But I didn't want Applebloom to know about the sheep."

Granny smiled. A smile that could be taken as a good or a bad thing.

"We just won't tell her about it. It will be a family secret." Granny Smith whispered to Applejack. "Now get inside and get to bed."

"But, Granny its only seven thirty."

"I'm going to bed, so ya'll should too. It's been a long day."

Before heading inside, Applejack could see Big Mac racing in to the clearing. A worried expression on his face. He must have been wondering where Applebloom was.

"It's okay, she's in here." Applejack called. "She must have come home on her own."

Although being the Element of Honesty, it seemed to easy for her to tell that lie. Applejack normally had a tough time telling lies. Like when the Flim Flam brothers were selling the ulcer to cure all aliments. Or just about any other time. Thankfully, Granny Smith had nothing to say, becauseshe was already, surprisingly, fast asleep.

Applejack walked inside, took off her hat, untied her hair and went straight to bed. As she lied down, she tough about the day. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Comments ( 5 )

every question will would only be answered with a no.

That sheep would surely die of blood lose loss.

She would (then) be able to get there much fast faster.

"Hey sugar cube..." Applejack panted as she slowed down to greet her sister.
"Hey Applejack." (maybe add something like: Applebloom acknowledged in a heartbroken [other sad adjective] tone.)

"Its It's no use. It would obviously be you, you so much faster than me." "you're always faster than me"Applebloom mumbled.

The whole time, Applejack felt [constantly] on edge and antsy.

she tough thought about the day (just gone/passed).

Another pretty solid chapter. Decent length and the story is *trotting* (+1 for pony pun) along nicely.
What I love about your story is that fact you use the bold, italics and whatnot to highlight words of importance. Some people don't like that. I do because it draws me into the story.

Applejack pouted, kind of like the way Rarity did when she saw Applebloom's failed test.

The mental image made me laugh.

Just on the last line, maybe bring it down two spaces so it has a tad of a better impact as a cliff hanger. (< me grammar no gooder).

I'm really looking forward to this dark tag. A lot of writers go from a tad gory and progressively get worse. What I like is you kind of tapered off for this chapter and let the previous events do the talking. It builds suspense (for me anyway).
So far so good I'm a happy reader.

Thank You Simple Static! :pinkiehappy:

Its nice to know your enjoying the story! I'll have to start giving credit to you for giving me ideas, and corrections on how to make the story better! :ajsmug:
Its never good to take another person's ideas without quoting or at least mentioning them! The next chapter may be out soon, depends... I start school again tomorrow :fluttercry:

See ya soon!

5331446
Protip: there's a little arrow on the top right hand side of an individual's comment. That will link your responding comment with the repondee's comment (hope that makes sense). That will give me a notification when you reply to my comments.

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Oh ok! I didn't know that :). I've only just joined FiM, soooo... I'm kind of nooby :facehoof:

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Weren't we all noobs once?
Oh boy, thank God I finish school last year. The freedom is enjoyable.

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