Crystal glanced between the letter she carried in her magic and the apartment complex in front of her. The addresses matched, but for some reason she had imagined Sunset lived someplace more homey with a white picket fence and a tree with a tire swing. Instead, he lived in the same tall, crowded structure as everypony else in Manehattan. That really shouldn't have come as a surprise considering the address said Apt 2712, but a part of her had still hoped otherwise.
She shrugged off her slight disappointment and trotted up the steps. Directly across from the front doors was an elevator waiting and ready, though it was nowhere near as fancy as the one in Eminence Tower. This one just had a self-operated lever, which she fiddled with for a few moments. It was heavier and harder to pull than she imagined, but she eventually tugged the lever down to the number 27. With a squeak and a grunt, the elevator's doors shut and it started to rise.
A soft but repetitive tune filled the space around her. For the first few floors, she hummed along. After ten, she went quiet. By the time she reached her destination floor she hoped she never had to hear that tune again for the rest of her life.
Finally arriving at the door, she gave it a few good knocks and waited just long enough for nerves to bubble up in her chest. The door opened, however, before she could make up her mind on if she wanted to flee the scene or not.
Sunset's face greeted her with a bright smile. "Crystal! You made it!" He tossed his head to call over his shoulder, "Girls, Crystal is here!"
Crystal blinked as a chorus of squeals resounded and two fillies popped into view. The first was a pale periwinkle blur that darted through Sunset's legs and skidded to a halt in front of Crystal, beaming up at her with bright magenta eyes. Her blue mane cascaded down in separated strands around her face, like the curled petals of a bluebell.
"Hi, Crystal!" the filly chirped.
The second, much younger than the first, hopped onto Sunset's back and was a collage of purple coat, yellow eyes, and a two-toned mane of dark purple and pale yellow done up in pigtails. "Hi, Crystal!"
Sunset chuckled and reached out a hoof to ruffle the blue filly's mane. "Crystal, these are two of my foals, Blu—"
"Blue Belle and Violet," Crystal said, earning surprised gasps from the fillies.
"How do you know my name?" Blue Belle asked with awe in her sparkling eyes.
"How do you know my name?" Violet repeated in a squeaky voice.
Crystal giggled and leaned down to put her head more at Blue Belle's level. "Your daddy told me a lot about you both and showed me pictures. How could I not recognize such pretty little fillies?"
Blue Belle squealed, prompting a similar sound from her copycat sister.
Crystal lifted her gaze to meet Sunset's. "Where is Miss Cocoa?"
"Oh, you know how fillies her age are." Sunset laughed and scooped Belle up with one foreleg, then stepped out of the way. "Come in, come in, make yourself at home! Bouqy's just put some tea on not a few minutes ago." He set Belle on the loveseat, chuckling when Violet leaped off his back to join her sister, then took a seat on the couch.
Crystal looked around the apartment as she set her overnight bag by the door and made her way to the couch. There was no foyer to speak of; stepping into the apartment meant stepping directly into the living room. Off to the right was a nook that housed a dining table, four chairs, and a high chair. The walls were covered in hoofdrawn pictures of varying recognizability. Judging by the sounds of a spoon clinking against the sides of a cup, the doorway set against one wall led to the kitchen, and the other likely led to the bedrooms.
"How was the train?" Sunset asked, leaning back into the couch. He eyed the overnight bag. "Hold on." Inclining his head, he called, "Cocoa! Sweetie! Come take Crystal's bag to your room please?"
Crystal shook her head as she sat on the loveseat with the fillies. "Huh? Oh, no, I can stay at a hotel, it's no trouble!"
Sunset waved a dismissive hoof. "Neither is you staying with us. It's less trouble, actually. It's free! And my girls are so excited to meet you." He paused, then hollered, "Cocoa Brew!"
"I'm coming!" a voice snarled and a blonde-coated mare stormed out of the hallway. Her chestnut mane bounced indignantly in its high ponytail as she stomped over to Crystal's bag. "I don't see why she can't stay with Belle and Vio."
"But it's supposed to be a sleepover!" Belle cried.
"A sleepover!" Violet pouted.
Sunset crossed his forelegs over his chest. "Now, Cocoa, that's not very nice. You didn't even say hi."
Cocoa groaned. She twirled around to face them, offered a wide, fake smile, and curtseyed. "Hi, Miss Wishes. It's nice to meet you, Miss Wishes. I hope you enjoy my room, Miss Wishes." She grabbed the straps of the bag in her mouth and dragged it back toward the hallway from which she had come.
Sunset sighed, shaking his head. "I'll be happy when this phase is over. She's so darn moody. Just yesterday she was running around the place with her sisters playing Dragon Attack."
"Dragon Attack!" Violet squealed and looked to her sister. She lowered her head to the cushion, wiggled her rump, then sprung forward to tackle Belle. "Rawr!"
Belle gasped and squirmed. "No! Bad Vi!"
"Girls," Sunset cut in, "behave for Miss Crystal."
They scrambled to sit upright. "Yes, Daddy," they said in unison.
"If they want to play, let them play." A vibrant fuchsia mare walked into the room with a tray balanced atop her head. Her pastel green mane was cropped in an asymmetric bob, short in the back and long in the front, with bangs that reached all the way to her eyelashes. Though her tail was the same color, only her mane had light yellow tips that matched her bright yellow eyes.
Crystal rose to her hooves. "You must be Orchid Bouquet! It is a pleasure to meet you, ma'am."
Orchid Bouquet lowered her head to set the tray on the table, poured a cup of tea, and held it out to Crystal. "Please, don't call me ma'am. Orchid or Bouquet is just fine." She smiled and sat beside Sunset. "Ma'am isn't a word that should be used between friends, and Coff has told me so much about you."
Crystal sat back down, a light flush on her cheeks. "What? Really?"
Bouquet nodded, her bob bobbing with the motion. Crystal noticed a flower, which vaguely resembled an orchid, tucked just above her ear. It twitched and settled back into place once Bouquet's head was righted.
"Of course," Sunset said. He reached out a foreleg to wrap it loosely around Bouquet's shoulders. "You're my favorite client, after all." He winked.
Crystal turned her teacup in her magic, her gaze fixated on it. "Oh, well, to be fair, you're my favorite agent." She giggled and took a sip that sent her ears perked upright and widened her eyes. "Wow! This is wonderful!"
Bouquet smiled. "Chamomile. I picked the flowers this morning from the garden."
Crystal stared at her with open surprise on her face. "A garden? In Manehattan?"
Blue Belle bounced closer to her and squeaked, "Mommy's super special garden!"
"The garden!" Violet chimed.
"It's a community garden just up the street that I started some years ago," Bouquet explained, laughing softly. "We have a plot where I grow our vegetables and flowers."
"A garden, huh," Crystal mused before taking another sip. It was so refreshing and the flavor of the chamomile really thrived as opposed to the dried version. "I've never gardened before. It's not much of a thing in Canterlot, after all."
Bouquet clapped her hooves together. "You should come with me after dinner, then! I tend to the garden every morning and every evening. It would be nice to have some company that isn't rolling in the dirt or trying to sneak a taste." She shot a playful glare at Blue Belle and Violet, who played beside Crystal, blissfully unaware.
The flower on Bouquet's head unfolded and started to climb down one of her tresses. Crystal stared at it with wide eyes and one hoof extended to point at the sight, words escaping her. Bouquet blinked, shifted her gaze, and smiled.
"Oh, yes." Bouquet raised a hoof, gently guiding the strange creature onto it. "I'm sorry. There's one more member of the family for you to meet. This is Petal, our orchid mantis."
"Man-mantis?" Crystal gawked. "You have an insect as a pet? But why?"
Blue Belle shot upright and stared at Crystal. "Insects are pre—preci—precious!" She scrunched up her nose. "Without insects there are no gardens and gardens are important!"
Violet nodded. "Yeah! Important!"
Crystal looked between them all and finally at Petal. "I, well, forgive me, but I've just, well, I've never heard of somepony keeping an insect as a pet. Cats, dogs, birds, but..." She took a breath in, then smiled. "I'm sorry. It's nice to meet you, Petal."
Petal moved one of her forelegs either by coincidence or as a greeting. Taking no chances for further offense, Crystal waved back.
Sunset chuckled, running a hoof through his mane. "It's okay. Bouqy's just special that way."
Bouquet's ears folded back. "Insects are a vital part of gardening. And Petal never harmed anypony." She set the mantis down on the coffee table.
Slowly, with careful and precise movements, the mantis made her way toward the far side, pausing to lunge her two front legs at a pencil.
Bouquet cleared her throat and rose to her hooves. "Come on, girls. Let's go play in the other room. Miss Crystal came here to see Daddy, so let's let them have some space to talk."
"Oh, actually, that reminds me," Crystal said, standing as well. "I brought gifts!"
"Gifts?" Blue Belle and Violet shrieked with delight while Bouquet and Sunset repeated the word with surprise.
Crystal winked. "Of course. Perhaps we don't have gardens in Canterlot, but we do bring gifts to thank our hostesses and hosts."
Bouquet raised a hoof. "You really shouldn't have. I don't very much like for my foals to receive unearned gifts."
When Crystal's ears started to droop and the fillies sighed, Sunset leaned forward. "I'm sure Belle and Vio will promise to be extra good while Crystal is here to earn their gifts. Right, girls?"
"Yes, Daddy!" Blue Belle jumped from the loveseat and ran to her mother. "Please, Mommy? I'll make sure Vi is extra, extra good!"
Violet ran over and just beamed at her mother with big, pleading eyes.
"They're really only small trinkets," Crystal added and bit her lower lip.
Bouquet glanced between them all before she sighed in defeat, but smiled nonetheless. "Well, all right." The smile straightened into a stern line. "But if there is one tantrum while Crystal is with us, I'm taking the gifts away, all right?"
The fillies responded with gleeful, rapid nods of their heads, then ran over to Crystal.
"What did you get us?" Blue Belle asked.
"Let me get them from my bag and you'll see for yourself," Crystal teased. She turned and walked down the hall, spying her bag defiantly sitting halfway into one room. Her gaze lifted to see Cocoa on the bed, back to the world. "Miss Cocoa?"
"What do you want?" Cocoa snarled.
Crystal winced. "Are you okay?"
The rolling of her eyes was almost audible as the not-quite-filly-but-not-yet-mare groaned. "Yes, I'm fine."
"Ah. Okay." Crystal flipped the bag open, and her magic retrieved one of the wrapped packages that was tied off with a brown ribbon sporting light cream polkadots. "I brought you a gift, to thank you for your hospitality."
One of Cocoa's ears twitched. Slowly, she turned her head to look at Crystal with a single, cautious eye. "What is it?" The package floated closer and after eyeing it a moment longer she rolled over and took it in her hooves. She tugged on the ribbon and the white paper unraveled to reveal the bottle of lotion. Cocoa's expression remained neutral. "Lotion?"
Crystal tried to smile, though nerves bubbled in her chest. "Mocha-scented lotion. It adds a lovely shine to your coat and smells delicious."
For a brief second, Crystal saw a smirk on Cocoa's face. "That's kind of weird. Why would I want to smell delicious?" She unscrewed the lid and took a sniff. "Oh, wow, that does smell good!" After putting the lid back on, she set it on the nightstand and offered Crystal a half smile. "Thanks, I guess."
Crystal managed to smile sincerely and nodded. "You're more than welcome." She levitated the other four packages before returning to the main area. "All right, who's first?"
Blue Belle gasped, started to walk forward, then stopped and looked at her mother. She reached out a hoof to stop Violet from bounding past her. "Mommy should go first, 'cause she said we could have gifts."
Violet stared at Belle, wide-eyed. "But—" A stern look from her sister was all it took. "Yeah, Mommy should go first!"
Sunset muttered in a mock-hurt voice, "Oh, all right, let Mommy go first, not Daddy, who fought for your right to get gifts..."
Bouquet raised her brow at him. "You shouldn't get a gift at all as punishment for going against Mommy's rule." She reached out to accept the gift that floated over toward her. After pulling back the fuchsia-with-green-polka-dots ribbon, she gasped. "Oh, no, no, no. This looks much too expensive!" She balanced the bottle of perfume on one hoof, holding it a safe distance away from her. "I can't accept this."
Crystal forced her ears to stay upright and shook her head. "It wasn't expensive at all! A friend of mine runs a little shop in Canterlot. He makes everything himself, so it's always very affordable."
Slowly, Bouquet's hoof moved the bottle closer. "Is that so? It looks so... commercial, though." One brow raised. "And you're certain it doesn't have any harmful chemicals in it?"
A short laugh escaped Crystal and she quickly shook her head again. "He has some peculiar experiments that go awry, but anything he puts on the shelves are perfectly safe."
Behind Bouquet, Crystal spotted Petal crawling up the curtains. The mantis paused halfway up and fanned herself out to resemble the flower Crystal had previously mistaken her for. Crystal blinked a few times, then returned her attention to Bouquet.
"Well, then." Bouquet finally smiled. "Thank you. I'm sorry for overreacting, but I just don't approve of strange chemicals anywhere near me or my family."
Sunset rubbed his hooves together. "Okay, my turn!"
Violet whimpered. She stuck out her bottom lip, but at the look she received from her mother and sister, she stuck it back in.
The ribbon for Sunset's gift was reddish-brown in color with yellow-orange polkadots. Sunset undid the bow and grinned at the revealed cologne. "Eau Chevaux? Well, doesn't that sound stallionly!" He chuckled. "Okay, girls, now it's your turn."
Blue Belle squealed and looked up at Crystal. "I get to go first, 'cause I'm older!"
"Aww..." Violet squirmed in place.
Crystal lowered the remaining gifts to their respective filly. "Why don't you open your gifts together?"
"Okay!" they chimed and tore through the wrapping, ignoring the ribbons entirely.
Blue Belle gasped while Violet just stared at her bottle with a muddled expression. "What is it?" the little filly asked.
"It's bubble bath!" Blue Belle exclaimed, waving hers at her parents. "And mine says it smells like bluebells! That's me!"
Violet's eyes went wide. "Bubble bath?!" She stared at the writing before her, sounding out the words under her breath. "Oh! Me, too! Me, too! Mine's violet!"
Blue Belle bounced up and down. "Can we take a bath, Mommy?!"
Bouquet blinked. "Before dinner?" At the pleading eyes she received, she sighed, set down her perfume, and started toward the hallway. "All right, all right. I did say I wanted Daddy and Crystal to have some time together." She paused as she passed by Crystal. "Your gifts were very thoughtful. Thank you." She smiled, then disappeared down the hall with the fillies.
Sunset leaned back into the couch and folded his hooves in his lap. "Well, then, I suppose I should have warned you about my wife."
"Huh?" Crystal blinked and shook her head. "Oh, no. I shouldn't have gotten ahead of myself, buying gifts for another family's foals."
Sunset shrugged. "I'm sure most parents would be fine with it. Bouqy's just a little particular about a lot of things." He winked. "All right, so let's get the business out of the way so you can have fun with my wacky little family. You had some drafts you wanted me to read over, right?"
Crystal shifted from one hoof to the other. "Well, yes, that is still true."
His brow raised. "I'm sensing a 'but' in there."
"But," Crystal confirmed, smiling sheepishly. "I think I'm ready to take this seriously. I just don't know how to do that." She sat down on the loveseat and twiddled her hooves. "I don't want to be just a housewife. I want to stand beside Silent on my own four hooves, but I can't very well do that if I keep hiding behind a pseudonym."
Sunset regarded her with open surprise, his brow raised even higher and his lips parted for a gaping expression. "Oh." He blinked a few times. "So, I suppose that ring isn't just cosmetic flair, then? Why didn't you tell me you were engaged? When did this happen?!"
Crystal gave a soft, breathless laugh. "I was distracted by your two adorable little fillies. It honestly slipped my mind!"
"That doesn't bode well for the marriage, then, does it?" Sunset laughed and slapped a hoof to his knee. "I jest, I jest! Okay, well, to your question, or rather, to your situation: of course there are things we can do. I just want to make sure you're absolutely sure." His expression sobered and he hooked his hooves together to rest his chin on them. "You can't stuff the secret back in the box. If you come out as C.W. Step to take credit for her success, you have to be willing to take the downsides to that, too."
Crystal swallowed. Her gaze darted away from his, spying Petal making her way back onto the coffee table. "I-I understand that."
Sunset shook his head. "Understanding's not enough. Maybe you should sleep on this one more night until you're sure you accept it. I'm more than happy to help you go the distance, but you're still young. You've done pretty well for yourself already. It'll take time and it'll take dedication. Book signings, more conventions, interviews. You'll also need to be more diligent about responding to fan mail you get. Happy fans are your life's blood."
Petal stopped to attack the pencil again, this time sending it rolling across the table. She followed after it until it disappeared over the edge, at which point she returned to walking in Sunset's direction. He reached down a hoof to offer a lift to the insect, which she accepted, and he set her on his shoulder.
Crystal finally stopped watching Petal to look back at Sunset. "It sounds like it will take an awful lot of dedication," she mumbled.
"Yup. That's why I think you should think on it a little longer. Now!" He clapped his hooves and rubbed them together. "Putting a pin in that, let's return to these drafts. Why don't you pitch me the ideas and I'll give you a hot-cold rating?"
"Oh." Crystal nodded. "All right."
While she talked, she couldn't help but repeat his words in her mind. More conventions meant traveling to other cities, as Canterlot only had the one. She did recall overhearing some of the authors in neighboring booths discussing the amount of time they spent on the road trying to promote their work.
How much of her time was she willing to give up in order to pursue her career?
Eau Chevaux? Does that mean water horse? I'm fairly certain eau is water and chevaux is horse or horses.
Mantis is an awesome pet, I want one.
Crystal seems to be finding herself in some difficult situations. What might that mean when she starts trying to raise a family?
Heh heh heh. You will find out when you are older.
She sure is thorough in protecting her true loves, gardening and bugs.
:fillies: Hey what about us!
:bouquet: You're my little flowers.
Odd that, she is marrying
serious horseSilent Knight, you would think that lessons in being serious would be easy to get.:sunset: I need to show you.
:crystal: Why did you give me a list of names?
:sunset: Those are the authors who were spirited away in the night by fans after relinquishing their anonymity.
:crystal: What!
Ah the dreaded realization of what taking something from a fun 'job' to work would entail.
I've actually heard that mantises (mantii? ) make bad pets unless you can devote a lot of time to them. They apparently eat almost constantly so they're easy to starve. I hope Petal's getting all the bugs.
Though it might be fun if she eats something else. I hear kids' homework is quite tasty.
6481141
Eau is definitely water; I grew up in a town called "Eau Claire," which translates to Clear Water.
Cheveux, as far as I can tell is "hair." So it would Water Hair. Cheval is "horse," hence chevallier is a soldier who rides horses. (Or, in the case of a friend's OC's joke name: Lecol du Cheval - Horse's Butt)
I just noticed this:
6481244
I've encountered this one lady a couple of times and the only thing I can think of when smelling whatever she wears is "spicy chex mix."
Smelling nice is one thing, but all she does is make me hungry and it's just too weird. You shouldn't smell like actual food.
6481363
While true, think about this from a pony perspective. They eat flowers. What are you going to smell like that isn't edible in the pony world?
6481141 I was going for a play on the typical name for pretentious/fancy perfumes/colognes, where they call it... "Eau de Awesome" or "Eau de L'amour" or whatnot. I was going to do Eau de Cheval, but then I saw the plural was Chevaux, and I just liked the cadence of "Eau Chevaux".
6481240 Well, life is always full of difficult situations. Parenthood especially! I imagine she'll be in the same boat as every other parent. In over their heads and hoping for the best!
6481244 Orchid Bouquet is very serious about the safety of herself, her family, and the environment as a whole.
6481344 Yeah, I read that, as well! Bouquet (I choose to call her that so Memoirs/Secrets readers don't get confused with Radiant Orchid) is a big ol' hippie (term used endearingly) so I imagine she's done her research. And Petal spends a lot of time with her in the garden. And likely found a little snack when she climbed up those curtains...
I do like the mental image though. "Teacher, my mantis ate my homework!" "Your... what?"
Big decision time for Crystal! Is she going to come out of the closet regarding her identity? This should be very interesting to see when she comes around to make that call! Oh, on a side note, pet mantises are really cool! I entertained the thought of getting a bearded dragon once.
Regarding Crystal's pseudonym, CW Step...
I only just now figured out that CW stands for Crystal Wishes.
God, I'm slow.
6481645
Also Step is from Velvet Step.
INteresting. I wonder what this means. It's good because Silent is going to be busy at times, but I'm wondering how this will work out in the end. great job.
Crystal's gotta think about some life choices! :P
Ah, the joys of elevator music!
Um... isn't chevaux the French word for 'hat?'
6481645 It's okay, I absolve you of your slowness.
6481702 If she pursues it that definitely could have an impact on their relationship!
6481731 All she needs now is a good thinkin' spot. A garden might be a good one...
6481735 When I googled cheval, it gave me the plural as chevaux. Hat looks like it's chapeau (again, according to Google). And, as Shachza pointed out, cheveux is hair. Oh, languages!
6481746 A good place of reflection. :P
6481693 I knew that. I just never made the connection between Crystal Wishes and CW.
Sunset, I have grown up with two sisters. Once they reach that stage they never leave.... I wish you luck.
Now then, on a happier note, getting floor 27 on an apartment building must build some serious Elevator Music Immunity, because I hear it's worse than Dark Helmet's beam of pain. Blue and Violet are lovely little fillies. So CUTE! And peculiar experiments? Understating Runic's talent, there, seeing as Silent apparently makes one hot little mare.... unless Crystal doesn't know about that incident.
Can't wait to see Crystal's decision on coming out as CW Step. Would that be out of the box or out of the shadows? Definitely not out of the closet, but still. I eagerly await Tuesday!
Sincerely,
-Starlight Dancer-
To clarifiy the french words (I am french)
Eau = water
ChevEux = hair
Chevaux = Horses. It's the plurial form of 'Cheval'. To add deep in the perfume name, it can translate to 'stallions' (the word serve both as male and general term)
Le col : The neck. your friend was probably searching for 'Le cul'
Otherwise very cute chapter :)
oh WOW a mantis would be an awesome pet, especially if they interacted with you like Bouquet's does. It has personality!
Another great chapter, I love the characterization for the "oldest child", my niece was JUST like that. It wounds me in a deep, personal way (down to the depths of my soul) that both Silent AND Crystal are struggling with personal decisions and issues -each that will affect the other- and yet they don't talk to each other about it. Communication is huge to me. If I'm confused about something I will talk to friends about it, think about it myself and repeat until I know what I want, then when I have a clear picture I'll talk to my significant other until we are of one mind. I don't know how any relationship works long-term without good communication and it kills me that they struggle to communicate (mostly Silent) with each other.
6481344
Crystal answered for me really.
Cheveux is hair.
Chevaux is horses.
6481790 I really, really like Blue Belle and Violet. They are just totally adorable. It should be interesting to see what choice Crystal makes, however!
6481861 On the whole, I think all relationships are different and one cannot judge another's by their own. However... I also think there are some things that are core foundations to relationships that I can't imagine having one without. Communication is one of those core foundations. I completely agree with you, and I guess all we can hope for is that Crystal and Silent learn that lesson on their own, for better and not for worse.
Orchid is awesome! and a orchid mantis is really cool pet. Ive seen them in real life and they are very beautiful. I can understand her distrust of chemicals and such too, but anyway. Sunsets family is adorable. Them teen years are always hard on teens when they have younger siblings that they feel like gets more attention to them, tis natural. I say you caught that very well. And its interesting to see her coming out of her shell about writing, but I think that shes letting Au's comment get to her alittle. A great chapter though, loved reading it.
6481993
Augh... Yeah... I thought I'd read "cheveux." Maybe it was chevaux the whole time and I just derped.
I don't know that "Water Horse" is actually any better than "Water Hair."
A big decisiion for Crystal looms. It can't be an easy thing to do and once done can't be undone.
Mantids are neat creatures. I saw one outside my house the other day hanging on the wall near some flowers.
Honestly wish my office elevators had music. I take the stairs so it wouldn't annoy me and only the people who ride it :P
This is seriously an amazing story. I really love how it actually gets into their lives and how every character is unique like in real life. It makes for a fascinating read. Have you heard of Nora Roberts? Because you really rate up there with her in amazing romances.
AER
6482054 I'm glad you enjoyed it!! I was actually a little nervous that folks might find this chapter boring, but then again, I worry about that with most chapters. I have a younger sibling and I went through the rough teen years... so I have pretty good inspiration for writing Cocoa.
6482470 That is kind of the intimidating part that I don't know if she's fully considering yet: she can't just suddenly take it back if she decides she doesn't like the outcome...
6482510 Ahhh, thank you so much! That means a lot to me! I am familiar with Nora Roberts (I actually referenced her a chapter or two ago!) though I've not read much of her work, to be honest. I just know she is everywhere. If any store dares to carry romance literature... there Nora Roberts will be.
Interesting family, especially that Bouqy.
Now that is awesome. Is there a real life inspiration for Petal and her species?
I'm not so sure I'd trust Runic's products to be free of chemicals. Dangerous chemicals, maybe, just probably not everything that is chemical-esque.
In general I approve of the idea of Crystal breaking the pseudonym barrier and taking full for her writing, but Sunset is definitely right that it's an irrevocable step.
So, I found this gem about four or so days ago... and I haven't been able to put it down. This story was great, and it kept my interest through every scene. Also, I'll admit to this, I was extremely happy when Silent proposed to Crystal. Anyway, the only complaints I have about the story are minor, unnoticeable, and grammatical. Good story this is, and I shall suggest it to everyone! Well... everyone that likes slice-of-life/romance stories
6483185 Ahh, I kind of thought either you or Aziraphael would notice the little easter egg in this chapter... Guess all my hopes are banked on when Aziraphael wanders this way.
Rossby is the one who recommended an orchid mantis! The conversation went something like this:
Me: Bouqet totally has a pet. Some kind of insect. I just can't decide what.
Rossby: Her name is Orchid Bouquet, right?
Me: Yeah.
Rossby: An orchid mantis.
Me: YES.
And that, folks, is how I make the sausage.
And, you're right, perhaps I should go back and clarify harsh chemicals. I just sort of assumed that in my head but, yeah, whoops. [edit: Hmm, I did say "harmful" chemicals, and Crystal didn't necessarily say they didn't have chemicals, just that his products on the store shelves were safe. Lying by innocent omission!]
6484076 I'm glad you're enjoying the story, thank you so much for taking the time to say so! Feel free to PM me with any grammatical suggestions. I'll say in advance that I'm happy to fix things unless they're just stylistic or in dialogue (unless it's flat out totally just missing a word or a typo or the wrong word entirely, grammatical incorrectness in dialogue is probably intended!).
6484122 Looking back on it, I didn't seem to find any typos. However, I could just not remember them. I'll PM you the major things I found... well, it's nothing really too major, but they're small annoyances to me
If anything, expect a PM from me sometime this afternoon. I'm currently at school right now.
—Stahl
6484122
*rereads the chapter*
I can't find it!
thisiscolossal.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/orchid-2.jpg
Neat!
6484281 Well, actually, now that I think about it... Have you read the Lovey Dovey story yet? Totally okay if not. I just can't remember, and if you haven't, then no, you'd definitely not catch it.
6483476
It looks like Crystal will need to step up her game. *Insert comedy drum sound*
6484286 Whoops, I have not yet, actually. I'll get to it at some point.
6484632 You read so much that I'm not offended in the least. No worries, then. All my hopes are placed on Aziraphael!
6484799 reading :the next chapter and I'm agreeing with Jet Set
I actually said that.
Huh. Foal gifts and, um... no Siley anywhere in sight. Well, um....
Bubbles all day every day?
6484666
The tension is brewing... Would you like a spot of hot chocolate while you wait for the reply?
<bee-boop> Timelines are adjusting.
6487505 I do love hot chocolate. It's okay... I'll wait... It's technically been spoiled (by me!) but I was pretty excited for the revelation.
6487797 the wiki is wrong. she's named after her mark a Flaur Di Lis
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fleur-de-lis
I'm just not. I rather go with the idea without make up mares can be pretty. I get reminded of Rarity's look in the Sonic Rainboom. SHe looked ugly while her natural look is far prettier.
6487867 This response is a tad longer than my usual because in three separate stories you have had a combative nature and tone, whether you intend it or not, and I want to be clear that I do not care for it.
I'm aware of what her cutie mark is (fleur-de-lis or fleur-de-lys) and what her name references. However, the wiki is not the only thing that spells it that way.
vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp-gameloft/images/7/75/Fleur_Dis_Lee_album.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20131101155532
ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51kUTIh-dfL._SY355_.jpg
Now, we also spell it Cadence, but that's because... Who cares? Seriously? Does it really matter if it's Cadance or Cadence, or Fleur Dis Lee or Fleur De Lis or Fleur De Lys? If I spelled it Flaur Di Lis, I'd understand, because that's definitely off base. But Hasbro spells it that way. (Hasbro also spells it both Cadence and Cadance in various sources, so, there you have it.)
You have completely and utterly missed the mark. First of all, Rarity's make-up in that episode was completely, comically, and exaggeratedly overdone. That is not what is being discussed here. We are talking about basic cover-up cosmetics to hide blemishes and "imperfections". Also, excuse me, but Rarity's look is not natural. She wears make-up and false eyelashes. I believe we've seen her with curlers in, as well. Your argument is already invalid.
Women are portrayed with impossibly smooth skin in movies and magazines. This gives other women, such as Horsey, unrealistic comparisons, because she is not wearing the same foundation and other make-up to be "on the same level" for comparisons. I am in no way saying a woman without make-up isn't pretty. I am saying a lot of women do not FEEL pretty because they compare themselves to women who aren't au natural, who are wearing professional levels of make-up, and feel inferior and ugly. This is not a fair comparison we women make and it only leads to further self-degradation.
Crystal is not saying, "Horsey, wear make-up and you will be pretty!" Her point, and my point, is that you cannot compare yourself to a model. It's unfair and imbalanced. Models have moles, they have scars, they have birthmarks, they have blemishes. It does not make Fleur any less pretty of a mare to have a birthmark. It's a natural thing. Yet she covers it up to look perfect... being imperfect does not mean you're not pretty. It means you're like the rest of us. That is the point. Fleur is like the rest of them.
6481746 Oooooooh! That's right. Chapeau is hat. Sorry.
That makes a lot more sense.
Yeah, 'hat' really doesn't make sense.
Ignore me. I'll show myself out.
Woh boy... finally caught up. Beginning to now.... countless "breaks" at work to read this... chapter by chapter.... why can I not put this story down!?
Omg im caught up... But i had like 20 chapters to go when i picked this up... O god its 1am
Hmm...
You know you write astonishingly well, I trust? Each character is so vivdly themselves. It makes the story excellent. You're excellent.
7112490
You took the words out of my mouth.
Modern rap music in general.
I had to, and I regret nothing.
Oh no...
Two different products from the shop.
Mixing.
In the tub.
With fillies.
If they don't come out at least two different colors extra I'm gonna be disappointed.