The suspicion crept its way back into Raven's eyes and she took a step away from Crystal. Her brow knitted and her eyes narrowed, she asked, "Wait, who even are you?" She shook her head and laughed almost bitterly. "You're just trying to stain Blueblood's good name!"
Crystal pondered the various responses she could give to try to prove herself, but her mouth had a different idea. "What good name?"
Raven gaped at her with wide eyes. Then, her ears fell and she averted her gaze, muttering, "That is a fair point." The fire reignited at another thought and she raised a glare. "So, then, your angle is to defame me? Strip my job away with scandalous gossip?" She stomped a hoof. "What do you want?!"
"A love story," Crystal explained honestly and plainly. "I'm a—well, I'm hoping to become a romance author." She crossed her forelegs over one another. "My parents did not have an inspiring romance. My first three dates have all been disappointments. I simply want to hear and write a true love story."
Raven blinked a few times, seeming taken aback by the explanation. "That's all?" The tension in her expression and shoulders started to ease. Slowly, she settled down on the ground and sighed. "I don't know if this is the true love story you're looking for, Miss—"
"Crystal Wishes."
"Miss Wishes," she continued. "How much do you know about Prince Blueblood?" She stared at Crystal with a sort of cool, almost cold seriousness.
Crystal shifted a little uncomfortably in thought. "Well, to be honest, I only know what little I've gleaned from today." She didn't meet Raven's eyes for fear of her words being offensive. "He seemed narcissistic, boorish, not very highly regarded by a servant I met, and he said something distressing to my mother."
"To your—" Raven's eyes widened. "Oh, dear. Is your mother, by chance, Mrs. Upper Crust?" When Crystal nodded, Raven winced. "Yes, he did say something rather cruel to her."
"Did you hear?" The incessant pull of a mare's heart toward gossip made her ears perk up. "What did he say?"
Raven waved her hooves quickly and dismissively. "Oh, no, I didn't hear what he said, but I saw the look on his face and how she reacted. After so many years of being surrounded by Canterlot elite, he has come to find a—a twisted amusement in making a game out of it."
"A game?" She paused, then slapped her forehead and groaned. "I see. Like making a mare run around to get sparkling water because he refuses the punch?"
Raven offered a weak smile. "Yes, something like that." The smile fell. "But, well, I can only assume your mother hit a nerve and he called her out on her intentions. He is not blessed with patience, among other things."
Crystal nodded as she thought the situation over, then shrugged and settled back into proper posture, forelegs crossed. "Well, she had it coming, so it's fine." Her eagerness sparked once more and lit a smile across her face. "So tell me more about you and the prince!"
The mare's cheeks reddened. "Well, I have been in the castle all my life. My parents are part of the staff, so I was going to end up working there one way or another. I've known him since he and I were both foals, though our paths rarely crossed." Her gaze wandered away from Crystal, growing distant while a nostalgic smile started to form. "He was always busy, you see. He is the first stallion of the original Canterlot bloodline in over fifty generations, so he is special, and his parents made sure he knew that, even if he is only a prince in title."
Raven's smile faded. "Of course, when one is told they are special and treated as such, that mentality takes root in their heart and grows like a weed. He was rude to everypony, including his own parents, and he brought many mares to his chambers when he was of age to be interested in that sort of thing.
"I hated him. In the beginning, anyway. I worked hard every day to make my parents proud while he trotted through the halls, ensuring nopony forgot how 'special' he was." She rolled her eyes, her tone somewhat bitter. "And he sensed that, so he always singled me out for teasing. When Princess Celestia made me her personal aide, he was there, laughing and making fun of me." She continued in a mockery of his voice, "'Her? Your personal aide? Why, Princess, she can hardly see past her own hooves without those ridiculous glasses!'"
Anger overtook the mock tone and she looked directly at Crystal. "What do my glasses have to do with being an aide, huh?! Ugh!" She shook her head as she settled back into a calmer mood. "Because I was always with Princess Celestia, that meant spending more time with him, too. I don't know when it happened, but I started to not mind his teasing as much. In hindsight, I should have realized it sooner, but—" Slowly, she smiled. "I was falling for him."
Crystal stared at her with glimmering eyes and a big grin, waiting for her to continue. When she didn't, she pressed, "And? And?"
The smile dropped. "And what? We see each other in secret. Sometimes I feel like he might propose, right then and there, and other times I just feel like a toy for his amusement." She turned her head away and sighed. "Since we started this confusing relationship, I haven’t been with another stallion, but I don't know if I’m his only mare. Yet something about him keeps my heart in his hooves despite my better judgment. I could focus on my career and stay by Princess Celestia's side until I grow too old to see even with glasses, but I look at him and I want something more. He's my temptation from the right path, I suppose."
Crystal was silent, and Raven said nothing further. She bit her lower lip as she waited for more and, finally, she mumbled, "Have you, well, asked him?"
"What?" Raven frowned at her.
"You know, had a chat with him about your relationship." She waved her hoof in a circle. "Talked about your feelings, figure out what you both want. You might be surprised." Her mouth wriggled. She tried to keep it pursed while her lips threatened to curve into a playful smile. "After all, you may not have noticed it, but I saw the way he looked at you."
The flush from before returned twofold and her cheeks were bright red. "You think so?" She fidgeted nervously and looked at the trees, in the direction of the party. "No. I mean—no."
Crystal shrugged. She stood up, stretched all of her legs, then shook out the moss in her mane and tail before she smiled down at Raven. "Well, nonetheless, I'd like to write a happy ending for your story. I'll change the names and situations enough that it shouldn't point to you, of course, and I'll send you the draft that I'll be sending to Mares Monthly for your approval."
Raven, still recovering from her embarrassment, nodded meekly. "Yes, thank you. I would really rather not have that kind of attention if you wrote about me specifically."
"Then it's a deal! I'll call it—" She paused, rubbing her chin, thinking on as much of Raven's exact words as she could. "The Mare's Temptation." She grinned. "Oh, I like that!" Pride and excitement in every step, she practically pranced her way back to the party. "I wish you the best of luck, Raven! And I'll be in touch with you soon!"
♡
Crystal's pitch was prepared and in Sunset's hooves. She had her pink scarf tied around her neck and her heart-shaped braid in place. Already both simple things—a scarf and a braid—were becoming good luck charms in the superstitious part of her mind, and she wasn't going to risk blowing this opportunity just to spite herself.
She sat as still as she could, watching his gaze sweep across the pages. After the garden party, it was as though a muse had taken residence in her mind and sang an inspirational aria long into the night. The pitch was no problem; it only had to be of the highest level detail, after all. It took her only about an hour to figure out and write down the characters and plot. She even drafted a first chapter, which Raven had approved with surprisingly emphatic glee.
While a clock ticked off every second of unnerving silence that passed, Crystal tried to calm herself by thinking of the mare. Raven had agreed that, if The Mare's Temptation was going to move forward, she would be given a brief tour of the castle to ensure it was properly represented. More than that, she also offered to give advice for portraying the main characters, Sable and Prince Highborn, in a manner befitting of a castle servant and a prince. She would be lying if she said she wasn't totally giddy at the opportunity.
Her mind flew back to her current situation in an instant when Sunset finished the last page and looked up at her. She tried to smile.
"This—" He stopped.
Her smile wavered. "Yes?"
Sunset stared at her a moment longer, then dropped his gaze to the papers. "I'm not a mare, so I can't speak for them, but I do a lot of research in mares' interests. Of course. Kind of a requirement when you work for Mares Monthly, eh?" He chuckled.
Although his tendency to ramble was amusing most of the time, right then, it was just making her sweat. Was he stalling? "Of course," she said, her voice cracking with nerves.
"What I'm trying to get at is I'm no expert, but I know a lot about what mares like, and this—this—" He finally looked back up at her, his smile making her heart race faster. "It's going to be an absolute hit!"
"Oh my gosh," she said quickly as she released her held breath. "You scared me, Sunset!" She giggled. "Couldn't you have said that a little faster?"
Sunset sputtered and waved a dismissive hoof. "Oh, pfft! What, I can't have a little fun?" He leaned to the side to holler out his office door, "Paper Pusher!"
A young stallion bounded into the room, his eyes glittering with an eagerness to please. "Yes, boss?"
Sunset held out the papers Crystal had given him. "Take these to Kahuna and tell her it's got my approval."
"Right away, boss!" Paper Pusher rolled up the papers and stuck them into his saddlebag, then bounded back out.
Sunset crossed his forelegs on the desk and returned his attention to her, his expression growing serious. "So now that you've got a pitch that I'm sure my boss will approve, it's time to talk about a contract. First thing's first!"
Most of what he discussed went over her head. She understood the basic gist and that the most important thing he stressed was that by working with Mares Monthly, she wasn't allowed to publish under the name C.W. Step with another magazine. The second important thing noted was that if she missed a deadline, The Mare's Temptation would move further to the back of the magazine with each overdue installment until it was dropped completely.
Finally, he slid the contract across his desk toward her. "It's up to you now, C.W. Please put your residence here, and print and sign your full name here." He gestured to lines on the parchment as he spoke. "You can still back out and take your pitch elsewhere. If you decide to join up with us and your story is a hit, we are partnered with a book publisher for this project. They're looking to bring more mare-targeted stories to market, you see."
Crystal's eyes widened. "Do you mean to say there is a chance I could go to a bookstore and see my own story on the shelves?!"
Sunset grinned and tapped on the contract, winking. "There is if you sign."
The quill lifted, held by pink magic, and danced across the paper while Crystal nodded. "I'm in."
"Great to hear, Miss—" He paused to read her name off the contract, then smiled up at her and offered a hoof over the table. "Miss Wishes! Welcome aboard!"
"Crystal's fine, Sunset." She took his hoof in her own. "Miss Wishes makes me sound old." There was a pause before the both of them laughed and she continued, "Though honestly, I will be getting quite the workout from now on whenever I have to come to your office."
Sunset's smile didn't waver, but his tone inflected with curiosity. "Why is that?"
"Those stairs!" Crystal put a hoof to her forehead, feigning a dramatic sigh. "The first time I went up them I thought I might die!"
"The stairs?" His smile fell.
Her smile fell, too. "Yes. You know, the stairs leading up to this floor. There are so many that I'm honestly surprised you could forget them."
Sunset said nothing, instead quietly standing up and walking around his desk. He motioned for her to follow and walked out of his office, out of the main area, and out of the Mares Monthly suite. Crystal followed behind him with concern and confusion pounding in her chest. Finally, he stood outside two gilded doors.
"And these are?" she inquired quietly, almost afraid of the answer.
"Doors to the elevator." He finally broke out into laughter. "You really don't know what an elevator is? Good grief!" He pressed a button, which lit up happily. "Have a nice day, Miss Wishes! Work on that draft. If my boss doesn't approve it, I'll make her. I'll send word by courier if there are any issues. For now, let your inspiration flow freely on paper!"
A small ding! resounded, catching her attention and drawing her eyes from Sunset to the mysterious elevator. Crystal hardly heard the rest of his goodbye, awestruck by what lay beyond those shiny golden doors.
The dialogue is nice. Keep up the good work.
lol, nobody in Canterlot has elevators
Amazing chapter! I'm sure you know what's coming next...
So what are the colour palettes of Highborn and Sable?
Sorry about the lack of poem. It will come on the next chapter that my muse gives me something to write.
Until then, have some praise: Another great chapter, and I like how Raven's suspicion is defused by a hopeless romantic turned up to 11 (and this being base Crystal, I wonder what her turned up to 11 would be.... ). Though her remark on Blueblood's good name, while mean, wasn't inaccurate. And the fact she didn't know about elevators at the end! Thanks for another awesome chapter, and I can't wait for the next one! Have a moustache!
5556341 That is my amusing idea! After all, the shots we see of the city proper don't seem tall enough to warrant them. If there are elevators in Canterlot, I'd picture them in the palace, and I don't imagine regular citizens are wandering the palace very much aside from heading straight to the throne room for an audience with Celestia or ballroom for the Gala.
5556351 Hehehe. I'll send you my thoughts on Prince Highborn and Sable here shortly.
No worries on the poem! I don't want you to force them out of a false sense of obligation. Besides, just a comment is enough to make me giddy! I appreciate every word and look forward to posting more chapters for y'all!
Ha!
"Well, why didn't you take the elevator?"
"What the pluck is an elevator?"
Hm, yes, this will become my new nomenclature!
Crystal is so cute in her cluelessness.
The technological and cultural variety in your Equestria is rather interesting, though somewhat worrying. Though that might just me jumping to far into the background details. nonetheless I am enjoying your story.
5556670 Ahh, I'm sorry to represent anything in a worrying way. Please let me know if I go too far down a path that doesn't make sense. A lot of it is just... well, headcanon, really, so I think I'll put that AU tag on. But I'm not afraid to be challenged/corrected on something that just plain doesn't work!
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It's just from what I've seen from your Equestria (through C.W.'s eyes obviously) leads to some massive disparities between cities. Canterlot has extended education yet a (admittedly naive) NOBLE didn't know what an elevator was. And if Manehatten is more advanced than Canterlot than what does that mean for Ponyville? Again, I may just be reading to much into this.
5557135 Those are totally valid observations and I thank you for replying! Some of that will be addressed in the next chapter but not to great lengths, so if you don't mind a ramble, here goes. Feel free to push back on anything... just 'cause it's what I see in my head doesn't mean it makes sense to other people than myself.
Canterlot is a city of appearances. Looking good in the eyes of other and having bragging rights are key. The reason for the extended education system in Canterlot isn't to necessarily learn more or become more educated per se, but simply to lord it over the smaller towns. It seems like they're smarter because they go to school for so long, but with the heavier focus on clubs, it's easy for ponies like Crystal to graduate only knowing basic reading, writing, and 'rithmetic... as well as how to spin a flag, pour some tea, and write really fancy. That, and Crystal isn't interested in school or general learning (to a bit of a fault). She's never been further than Ponyville until she visits Manehattan the first time, so her specific knowledge of the rest of Equestria is splotchy at best.
Manehattan, on the other hand, seems more industrial and in some ways more advanced. It seems much newer to me, while Canterlot is old and unchanged from its original structures. Manehattan's where I imagine the main offices of major businesses are located. Their education is shorter, but much more educational (for lack of a better word). Ponies are hit hard with math, economics, finances, etc. to prepare them for the workplace as soon as possible. Learn quick and get a job - that's the focus of their schooling.
Lastly, Ponyville is a rustic charm town to me. They have a quaint little schoolhouse, then move happily to their simple lives. There's no pressure to go to school for years, though Canterlot is close enough that it is an option to go there, but otherwise... If you're a florist, or a baker, or what have you and ready to get started, then no pony in town is going to stop or judge you just because you didn't go to secondary school. It's small town living at its finest.
Please feel free to push back on any of my ideas. That's how I see Equestria (or, rather, my version, really) but I can have some faulty thinking for sure and I don't want to keep going down a path that's going to make no sense to anyone but me.
5557135
That chapter was out before the editor knew of it, so it's best left as showing how Canterlot lacks tall (modern) buildings & how the nobles either avoided teaching about earth-pony inventions in mandatory curriculum or have it later in her education. I don't think an elevator was in my high-school curriculum.
And it's honestly entertaining to see protagonists do things that "build character" in the eyes of ye olde man.
While we're on the subject of forgetting to tell the editor about new chapters added to the document; I left some editory-things on the document when I saw. Really, it doesn't take that long when everything (if anything) is structural.
Seriously, even though I frequently check, sometimes it's just out of synch.
5556682 Headcannon ≠ AU.
AU is for things like when there's a different bearer lineup, a change in contemporary leadership (ie, bad guys win), and other things. Crossovers and alternate times, though, are debatable. The Silent/Crystal-verse falls into none of those, with the closest thing being the attitude towards butter a few years before the show and the setup of the Guard (which is perfectly reasonable and hardly covered in the show).
There's nothing alternate about this universe.
Tags are more important now since it'l screw with similar stories and there's not a lot of tags to work off of, since it's only the OC tag right now.
Oooh. Nice chapter as always. I enjoy Sunset's character, I hope we see more of him. Crystal not knowing about the elevator was quite amusing! Sounds like something she would do. Your headcannon is way different than mine. It's refreshing though, I enjoy a different take on things. Loved it as always!
5557243
I think your ideas on how education works in Equestria are pretty sound. Considering foals generally figure out what it is they want to be doing for the rest of their lives by the time. Having a more focused education that gives them the knowledge they need at an earlier stage allows them to get out and do what they enjoy faster. Also, Crystal's surprise with the elevator seems accurate, given that it isn't something that's really required or found in Canterlot. Sure comparatively it's a large city, but there aren't really any sky-climbing buildings that are designed with having that easier mode of transport in mind. That, and the technology just doesn't seem to be quite there yet. I imagined the elevator being like one of those ones with the sliding metal gates that looks all posh with carpeting wallpaper. Kinda like this;
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/57/ba/31/57ba31327cfb317e42a25a3b1196f3dd.jpg
I don't know, it feels about right to me.
5557485 S-sorry, I'm still trying to get used to having one at all. I put it up yesterday and got all nervous about the idea of bothering you. I'll do my best to be less passive.
I took off the Au tag... It'll get tricky since this is in the same universe as Silent Knight, which will eventually incorporate AU elements more so than Cadence being a unicorn rather than an alicorn, but those will likely not be present here... So I'm not sure what to do when that happens.
I'll look at the doc and revise the chapter when I'm back on a PC. Sorry again! ^^;
5558213 I'm sure we'll get a more detailed description of the elevator's interior in the next chapter, if nothing more than showing Crystal's wonder at the device. I also suspect we'll get a scene where she is trying to figure out how to operate the machine.
5558213 Shh, shh, nothing to see here... Oh my gosh, that's totally how I imagined it! Personal Gamer gave me a lot of info on elevators so I don't know just yet. If that fits with what he explained then so very yes!
I'm glad my ideas about education work. I have been working it out in my head because high school isn't a thing in the show, just the comics, so I have the freedom and the fear of making my own decisions.
5558232 Ah, she's a unicorn (both as a foalsitter and as a bride) in Silent Knight? I never noticed, or I'd forgotten if I did.
As an overly extensive editor (there's a group for that ) the single most irritating thing to me is publishing a chapter that I don't know is all it can be. So even if you just reply to a comment, it'l be plenty since that's set up to shoot me an email.
5558291 As a neurotic person, it makes me antsy to bother people that tell me to message them... And to not post chapters I've finished. It won't happen again, though!
5558304 You're welcome to post them if you don't like sitting on completed work, but if you do, be sure to send me a heads up.
I can manage to be pretty flexible* with any of my authors, not to mention that you're probably the easiest and most pleasant to work with among my authors.
*Considering my usual story content, it's even more true here. I don't expect to compare pros and cons of equine military stratagem.
Also, even if unicorn Cadence frequently appears, it's still not much cause for adding AU right now. Maybe once it's finished and all the characters get tagged.
5557243
I do like Rambling, and those are valid points. Keep up the good work!
Ahh, that was pretty much what I was hoping for for Blueblood. Not an outright whitewash of his character, but more depth that him just being an empty headed waste of space or an outright evil character.
Assuming things do work out between him and Raven, I wonder if Crystal's new story might end up being helpful for them. It could easily turn into a scandal, but a widely read story romanticizing a fictional version of their exact relationship in the popular mindset ahead of time might lay some convenient groundwork.
Oh, great...Raven's in one of "those" relationships...mare hopelessly in love with plothole stallion, who strings her along while he does whatever...*sighs* well, here's hoping things work out in the end somehow...
Meanwhile, Crystal's career has officially begun, and to top it off, elevators exist! Fantastic!
And yet another great update! I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter. I liked hearing Raven's insight on Blueblood, despite hearing a different version of how much of a jerk he isRavens situation reminds me of a girl that I met a few years back that had a husband like that. He was a grade A asshole, and when asked why she stays with him, she simply stated that he would say things that would bring her back to him. Ugh...that is such a cliche Anyway, now Crystal's writing career has officialy started! Now her life takes a new and interesting turn. This will only get better Oh yes before I forget...Crystal's reaction to an elavator reminded me of Charles Ingals' initial reaction to an elevator from an episode in Little House on the Prarie.
yay! she got a contract
as a side note:
for some reason I find it hard to make myself come to continue reading this story, but when I start reading the chapters, I can't put it down, and I will spend hours on this story ...
gofigure...
Hmmmm. Blueblood here interests me. Just what are his actual feelings and what is him faking for whatever reason. Fascinating.
That part! Same for the ending!
This'll be my last chapter for today, I think. Too much of a good thing, and all. I will say that I can't tell if this wariness I'm feeling is justified or not.
It seems to me that the romance as fictionalized by C.W. Step is something built on sand - that telling of it by Raven - though it be The Mare's Temptation - leaves something to be desired. She was very laconic, and little of that was to the positive. This is Blueblood we're talking about. And having greater dynamics than usual doesn't mean they are nice dynamics. I know if a fictionalized happy ending-version of my failed relationships existed, I would find it somewhat hurtful. Raven seems nice, I hope that doesn't happen to her.
Likewise - and I think I'm reaching on a stretch too far here - but the elevator made me think of a warning metaphor. CW worked hard to climb those stairs, perhaps only to be readily taken down again by a thing she didn't even know of, and looks shiny and
chromegold. But I might be projecting a bit more negativity onto things than they deserve. This is, after all, a very benign-natured story, and such is partly why we love it so!6788918
derpicdn.net/img/2015/4/25/882321/medium.gif
6788918 I appreciate how you draw symbolism there, but perhaps let's enjoy the highs before dreading the lows.
Excellent chapter and finally Crystal HAS A CONTRACT! Also, that ending really got me Just thought I would mention, I imagine the events of your story in anime. That's not a bad thing at all, I'm a HUGE anime fan! Your story is long, lots of events, lots of characters, and there was high school at some point.... Did you intend it to feel like an anime or is it just my bias? (your bio gives away the fact that you're an anime fan )
7469860 I'm glad you're still enjoying it!!
Huh! I didn't intend for it to feel like an anime, at least not intentionally. I was much, much more into anime when I was a teen, but there are a few I still watch under Rossby's guidance.
This is going to be great for crystal but I'm imagining a lot of things going wrong with that contract. Will she get her fair share of the book? Will she be able to advertise that it was her who wrote it?
7469929
Her last name is Tamata, isn't it? I hear it's a wonderful phrase.
I cannot tell you how much I relate to Crystal character. It may come as strange, but when a reader relates to a character, it may push them to improve on something said character is trying to aspire to. No, I am not inclined to write romance stories all the time; though, romance is something I do like to add, even if I want it to end tragically, but that is another rant on its own.
In this chapter, Crystal Wishes was inspired to write a romance story based on Ravin and Blue Blood. Just the mear consept of assistant and prince was enough to create a story. Every day is the same thing for me: I see something, I get inspired to write a story. It is like a plague that torments my mind and yet I wish for no cure.
I cannot thank you enough for this story. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. God bless. Happy Holidays. Every compliment I can possibly say to you.
Keep writing and I will keep reading (and writing my own stories of course). I just hope I can aspire to be a faster reader. Some people read my 60+ chapter story I am almost finished with in a matter of days... How do people even do that?!
But again, thanks.
7807584 Aaahhh. ;~;
Thank you so much for the wonderful words, I'm so thrilled and humbled to be able to affect you in such a way through writing. I hope you are able to achieve everything you want, in writing and otherwise!!
Happy holidays to you as well!
I think every writer, in one way or another, can relate to Crystal Wishes here: the struggle for material, the sudden strokes of inspiration, the nervousness that accompanies the release of your work, and every chapter of this only makes it more and more relateable. And the way her confidence very slowly starts to build as she receives more and more praise is something I have personally experienced. Well done.
Plus, it's a romance, so that really pleases my inner shipper!
Doubtless, this is one of the best fics (let alone Romances) I've read on here! 11/10
One thing, though: with the amount of heart that shows through each and every carefully crafted word, I can't help but wonder if this is a sort of autobiography?
I know it's not truly any of my business, but that- combined with the fact of your username -leads me to ponder.
7954871 I'm thrilled you're enjoying the story so much! I've enjoyed reading each comment as they come in.
Oh, I wish it were an autobiography. The username came before the character, just a pony pseudonym to use for the site, but when Anzel started writing Memoirs, he asked me for an OC. I liked the name Crystal Wishes, so I gave it to her. In reality, I'm a web developer who likes to write as a hobby. I don't have any friends like Velvet or Horsey, and my parents are far from high society elites.
7955249
It is a rare work of art, indeed: I remember when I could barely go a day without seeing this in the feature box.
And, well, it's fortunate that you enjoy reading the comments, as I tend to leave quite a few...
Aha, that makes sense. I did something similar with my OC, as it had... let's see... carry the seven... two names before I finally settled on the one I use as my username.