Apple Potpourri

by bookplayer

The Magic of Friendship... And Branding

Author's Note:

Tags: [Slice of Life] [Flim and Flam] [Filthy Rich] [Applejack]

A little alternate ending I whipped up for Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000.

The Flim Flam Brothers smirked from behind the wooden cider stand. “Fear not, everypony, there's more than enough cider to go around.”

The ponies hesitated and looked to the crushed faces of the Apple family. Applejack started to speak, to tell them to get their cider, when a commotion stopped her. A figure cut through the crowd and stepped up to the stand.

Filthy Rich flashed a smile at Flim and Flam. “Congratulations, gentlecolts. You did a fine job there.”

“Thank you, sir!” Flim answered with a grin.

Flam smiled. “Did you want to try a cup of our delicious—”

“And one-of-a-kind—”

“Flim Flam Fields Cider?”

Filthy raised an eyebrow. “As temptin’ as that sounds, as a matter of fact, I just wanted a little clarification of the terms of your little wager.” He glanced to the crowd and motioned to a pony. “Mayor Mare? Would ya’ mind steppin’ over here for just a moment?”

The Mayor looked confused, but stepped up to the stand. Applejack edged closer to see what was going on.

“Thank you, Mayor.” Filthy smiled and ran a hoof over her slicked back mane. “Now, you fellas bet the Apples for the right to be sole cider provider in Ponyville, right?”

“Yes, that is what we agreed to,” Flam nodded, eying Filthy suspiciously.

Filthy frowned. “But Mayor, I don’t believe the Apples can really make that bet. They agreed they wouldn’t sell cider, but there’s nothin’ stoppin’ an independant business owner from sellin’ cider, right?”

“Well, no.” The Mayor raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Obviously if you wanted to sell cider at Barnyard Bargains, you’d be allowed to.”

“Obviously.” Flithy agreed. He nodded and looked deep in thought. “And there’s nothin’ to stop me from buyin’ apples from the Apple family, right? We’ve been loyal business partners since my grandfather started here in Ponyville.”

“Of course…” the Mayor agreed.

Filthy nodded again. “And there’s nothin’ stoppin me from hirin’ the Apples to make my own, personal apples into cider, if I should so choose?”

“Wait a minute,” Flim cut in.

“They can’t sell cider,” Flam pointed out.

“Of course they can’t.” Filthy agreed. Then he smiled. “But they can sell me apples and labor, as per your deal with them. Of course, the resultin’ cider would be mine, and I could do with it as I pleased.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow at Filthy. He just barely glanced in her direction and winked at her.

“Sir, these are honest ponies,” Flam said, motioning to the Apple family.

Flim drew himself up, chin high. “They’d never engage in trickery like that.”

Filthy’s mouth dropped open in mock indignation. “Of course they’re honest! Why, honesty and integrity are synonymous with the Sweet Apple Acres brand. It’s one of my top sellers because it’s a name ponies know they can trust. I will bet my business they would hold to any agreement they made, to the letter.”

Filthy looked over at Applejack, who nodded firmly. “No question…”

He smiled, then turned back to Flim and Flam with a smirk. “Of course, being hard working, salt-of-the-earth farm ponies, they’d never turn down an honest day’s wages… say, a hundred bits an hour during cider season.”

Applejack’s eyes went wide and she glanced at Mac. “I— we— that’s more than we make on the cider!”

Filthy didn’t look away from Flim and Flam. “On the other hoof, I'm a business pony. You fellas understand that. So, I could turn around and sell Sweet Apple Acres cider at Rich’s Barnyard Bargains for, say, five cups for a bit.”

The brothers gaped at him.

“Five—!”

“You’re insane!”

“You can’t make a profit from that!”

“No I can’t.” Filthy admitted. “You’re right. But I can keep the providers of my most popular products in business. And I have hundreds of other products and a half a dozen locations to make my profit, and seventy five years of capital to fall back on.” Filthy leaned in over the wooden cider stand and raised an eyebrow. “So how long do you boys think you can last? A month would be a record for my competition.”

Flim and Flam stared for a moment. They went into a huddle, nodded in agreement, then turned to look at Filthy again.

Flim raised his eyebrows. “You’re good.”

“Just a small town business pony with roots in his community.” Filthy gave a friendly smile. “Now, if I could make a recommendation to you fellas… get off my turf.”

Flam turned to his brother. “Next town, brother?”

“Next town,” Flim agreed.

As the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 chugged off down the road, Applejack stared in awe. Then she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Applejack, if it wouldn’t be too forward of me, I’d like to offer to go over your business model here.” Filthy casually dusted off his tie with a hoof. “I feel sure that by hirin’ a few laborers — trustworthy ponies at a respectable wage, of course — you folks can make up the costs in volume.”

Applejack grinned. “That’d be awful nice of you, Fil— I mean, Rich.”

“And, if you should happen to end up with a surplus, I hope you’d consider a reasonable offer for me to distribute it in my out-of-town locations?” Filthy raised an eyebrow.

“I’m sure we can work somethin’ out.” Applejack gave him a friendly nudge. “It’s always a pleasure doin’ business with you, Rich.”

Filthy smiled. “I’m glad to hear it, Applejack.”

---

Dear Princess Celestia,
I wanted to share my thoughts with you: I didn't learn anythin'! Ha! I was right all along! If you take your time to do things the right way, your work will speak for itself. Sure I could tell you I learned something about how my friends are always there to help me, and I can count on them no matter what, but truth is, I knew that already too.

Twilight looked up from the scroll, eyebrows furrowed. “But, AJ… I’m not sure that’s what happened.”

“Sure it is!” Applejack said with a smile. “You heard Ol’ Filthy, honesty and integrity is the Sweet Apple Acres brand.”

Twilight shook her head “But Barnyard Bargains—”

“Wouldn’t be where it is without the honesty and integrity of the Apple family,” Applejack cut in with a smirk. “Ponies all over Equestria know that… ponies who happen to shop at Barnyard Bargains. And, of course, there’s the part ‘bout friends always bein’ willin’ to help a pony out.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow.

Applejack gave her a friendly nudge. “There’s an old farm trick, Twilight. You wanna get rid of pests in a garden, ya’ never chase away the spiders. They stay in their corners, and don’t bother the crops, and what they do with the bugs is their own business. “

Twilight smirked. “Now that’s an interesting lesson.”

“More cider?” Appplejack offered, grinning.

Twilight giggled. “Sure.”

Comments

[Nali]

Hah. Always a pleasure to see Filthy Rich written well.

[horizon]

Sorry, Flim and Flam. I believe that is what we in the biz call an "oh, snap".

[Emptybee]

Ha! This was lots of fun. It's always nice to see Filthy Rich getting treated as something other than Diamond Tiara's doormat.

[Sabin]

I definitely prefer this version over what really happened

[DoContra]

Loved your take on Filthy's accent! And Applejack's farm wisdom at the end... (though I think the Flim-Flam brothers have a very good case against Filthy for dumping...)

[bookplayer]

5956284
Dumping? Not sure what you mean by that.

[DoContra]

5956310 Continuously selling a product far below cost in order to gain a monopoly on its trade and/or bankrupting a competitor (usually while recouping the losses through other business ventures). It's part of most antitrust regulations (it is in the USA, I believe most countries have similar regulations).

[bookplayer]

5956345
I don't think that applies to retail companies, or it's impossible to prove. Most retailers and grocery stores have certain products they sell at cost or take a loss on to lure people into their stores to buy products with a higher mark-up. Especially with cider being a seasonal product, there's actually a perfectly valid argument for Filthy to use it as a "doorbuster" (as they say.) That's not why he's doing it, but can they really show the difference?

(Not to mention this is their standard practice. If you listen to Filthy's droning to the school kids in Family Appreciation Day, he says, "And, by capturing the whole sale market, purchasing in bulk and slashing all prices, we undermine every other gift market in town, and that's how Rich's Barnyard Bargains became the cornerstone of retail in Ponyville.")

[DoContra]

I don't think that applies to retail companies, or it's impossible to prove.

Normally it would, but Filthy Rich told them about his plans, with both Applejack and Mayor Mare as witnesses[1] (and probably most of Ponyville too...). And yeah, most antitrust cases are very difficult to prove (they're usually brought quite a bit after the fact).

And hey, who said anything about Equestria having antitrust laws?

[1]: In my country, witnesses can't refuse testimony and are under oath not to lie (unlike defendants).

[FanOfMostEverything]

Huh. Even when I ran down how neither side of this contest knew much about business, I'd never considered Filthy Rich. A brilliant use of business partners. the bit about spiders was an especially inspired countryism. Very well done.

And just imagine Diamond Tiara's reaction, knowing that her daddy bailed out the blank flank's family. I'm not sure if she'd be more smug or horrified...