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Celestia is just trying to enjoy a rare day off for a princess. Sadly, her life is not letting her have the rest and relaxation she is hoping for. Can she dodge these obligations and finally have a calm day?

This was inspired by a "princess" pun and I am sorry.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 12 )

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Compass The Pegasus

Compass The Pegasus #1 · Nov 10th, 2014 · · ·

The story would be better if you got an editor. Otherwise, it was alright.

Sagebrush Fire

Sagebrush Fire #2 · Nov 10th, 2014 · · ·

Dyna

Dyna #3 · Nov 10th, 2014 · · ·

"Discount Warehouse’s Warehouse Discounts" Looks like somepony's business has a Department of Redundancy Department (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment )

BloomBoy06

BloomBoy06 #4 · Nov 10th, 2014 · · ·

5250349 any parts where you think it should've been edited (or worked to make better)? I can only assume this would happen for someone not publishing anything new, but then again, I submitted it before going to sleep on a school night . Thanks for the input, though...I tend to self-edit often, honestly because I may be overparanoid someone may swipe my idea

5251935 of course, certainly yes

kuma2564

kuma2564 #5 · Nov 11th, 2014 · · ·

Just promise me you’ll have more of a role than your human form if you do guard anypony important.”

Oh, Celestia damn it. Emerson lost. WHY? *shakes head and walks away*

BloomBoy06

BloomBoy06 #6 · Nov 11th, 2014 · · ·

5253826 yeah... as I reread it in retrospect, I realize it had been a rather forced point , probably an example of what further editing, perhaps from others, could do. That dialogue line now reads as follows:

She chuckled at the thought, “Just promise me you’ll have more of a role in guarding anypony important than before.”
....“Come again? I don't recall ever-”
Celestia realized no common pony in the Equestrian universe knew about the world beyond the mirror...

I know the story isn't perfect, but with the correct prompt, I know I can do well in future stories.

kuma2564

kuma2564 #7 · Nov 11th, 2014 · · ·

5254115 I'm sure you could. It was good before the reverence to the single most horrible even of the show, besides the second Equestria girls movie and that damn castle. (all of which where made/done just so Hasbro can sell toys.)

of course these things being bad is my option, and I'm sure others actually like them despite all of those things being products of bad writing, bad marketing, and a very greedy toy company.

BloomBoy06

BloomBoy06 #8 · Nov 11th, 2014 · · ·

5254268 I mean, I agree, but I actually did hate that line's wording , I wanted to change that section anyway.
I guess I was hoping Blue__Flame had an opinion of what seemed off/low-quality-edited so I could improve, as in what parts could've benefited from "better editing" (which I guess could've counted under what you 'suggested', kuma .)
As for the movies, I haven't even seen the second EQG, but eh, I get the EQG line of things [not for me, though the first one was ok], I just wish they'd spin off the series already rather than stupid movies between seasons for bronies to flock to.

kuma2564

kuma2564 #9 · Nov 11th, 2014 · · ·

5254486
eh, ether way Hasbro did it to sell their crapy Equestria girls dolls to try to cash in on the whole Barbie doll thing.

Anyway, the re-written part feels less.. forced, and flows a bit more. Personally I don't like the reference, but its still mechanically better then the way it was.

This-Is-A-Dead-Account