Broken Shards of Hope

by Thatgamerdud3

Chapter 2

"Stay out here. I'll go talk to her, see what's up, and try to calm her down. Ok?" His smooth voice streamed through the air and up to my ears. Worry and bravery was sprinkled around his eyes but most of all. His dilated pupils, almost as if they were yelling at the top of their lungs, were saying kill me kill me kill me.

"Alright, please come back alive." He chuckled at my comment. My arms wrapped around his warm body. My head leaned around his soft shoulder. My ear was mushed as the result of leaning in to far. His left arm finally wrapped around me. He squeezed me into him and then played with my hair a little. He got up and left into what I know as my home.

The porch door once again opened and his hooves clip clopped, as they hit the hard wood floor inside. That continued on towards the actual kitchen table. I heard a few faint voices but nothing really stood out. I waited a few minutes before I actually heard something's stand out.

A voice started to rise above both the forks hitting the plates and the cool night breeze. It was a hard voice with very much emotion in it. Hate has now filled the air and was spreading towards me. I could make out very little. "And your going to let.... to my hou.... then move out! But he..." Then the rest is just muffled yells towards each other. It was just a war against who's voice is louder and who's can make more sense.

My fur no longer warmed me against the nights winds. "Thanks Luna." I said under my sarcastic breathe. I finally had enough not knowing what is happening and got up. I slowly moved around the porch trying to not make any sound. I peaked into the door and saw my brothers gone, my parents having a flame war, and the food going cold.

My stomach gurgled and growled in hunger. I swear, two Pumas were about to burst out of my stomach and find something to eat. The door behind me finally opened. My dad walked out soon followed by my mom. Her hair was a little messed up. Not much has changed of her look. The only thing that astronomically different was the fire burning in her eyes. It's like somepony lit her eyes with a giant torch and watched it burn.

"Your foods getting cold, might want to warm it up." Her raspy voice called out. She had nothing to do here with me. She just wanted to get in and get out. But she stayed out for a few seconds, just looking at me and my father. It sent a chill down my spine knowing that she is studying our movements closely, like she was planning on doing something sinister.

"Ok." I didn't want to talk much. I also didn't want to burden them with unreasonable questions. All I wanted was some food and my bed. Not to much to ask for.

My hooves moved on their own. I didn't even think of getting up just yet. I was going to wait till mom was gone before consulting dad about what happened. Apparently not. If I complain about these things, that only puts the burden back on me.

The refreshing air of indoors surrounded me as I stepped through the door. The air was still filled of that beautiful smell of dinner. It danced at my taste buds, teasing me about the food. But I could also sense a hateful feeling in the house. It wasn't a smell, wasn't something I could see, not even something I could touch. I just felt like this house wasn't good for me.

I saw mother walk into the living and disappear into the couches comfort. My brothers were nowhere to be seen. Probably studying or talking about what happened. I don't blame them, I was somewhat glad I wasn't inside to hear it all. That wouldn't help my situation or the way I feel about myself. Like I feel good about myself anyway.

Father came around back and patted me on the back. I swooped around and hugged him. That's the only thing I wanted to feel for comfort. I knew that I wasn't the same as everyone, and that my dad and two of my brothers accepted me. He put a hoof around my head and squeezed me in.

Something couldn't control me. But a tear shed from my eye. Right after that, another.. And then another and soon enough I was crying into his shoulder. He "Sh"-ed me. I wasn't going to calm down. She was going to do something, but what? I don't want to be thrown out of the house, I don't want to die. I have great potential that she wants to throw away. But I'm being to high of myself.

I finally released me head from his shoulder. I could see it was sopping wet. He put his right hoof on my shoulder. "I'm sorry that tonight happened. I can't do anything to stop that from happening. Look, I'm always here for you kid, you know that right?" He had a calming but serious look in his eye. His tone was stern but soft.

"Yes I know that." I replied still sniffling a little.

"Ok, good. Hey how about a hoofball game tomorrow? There's a company picnic and I can bring you guys. Or just you and your brothers. Doesn't matter if we don't go. I wasn't going to participate, just you know. Watch them all try to play." He chuckled a little bit. I chuckled just as well.

"I'll think about it. I have a history test on the princesses and their parents. I actually might have to study for it." I said very awkwardly. I looked towards that now well cold plate and then back at father. It was even more awkward. A nice talk with my father or food.

He scruffed up my hair and sighed. Not a disappointed sigh but more of a sigh of relief. "Alright, I'll help you with your princesses test. I know how it is. That test for me wasn't easy at all but now I'm glad I passed it. I got a good grade and a good job." He exclaimed.

"Sounds good. I'm going to get to eating now so.. I love you." I said as I turned around to get my plate of cold food. It felt frozen in my hooves. Almost like in that time someone put it in the freezer.

"I love you too." He replied as he turned and we went our separate ways.

Me being me replayed the own scenario in my head. I replayed and replayed until my tears retuned but not the sniffling. I knew ponies hated me in this family. It was only a matter of time before I could confirm this. If I offed myself it wouldn't make a difference. They would save more money, have more food, have one less to care about. It's a win win for everypony.

My friends wouldn't care, my classes wouldn't care, the school itself would applaud my offing. I've been on this planet long enough to know when one or more hates someone. I've been here long enough to know why this world is so cruel. It'll hit you, smack, and punch you till your bloody. Most ponies get back up, but i don't have the courage to.

At this point tears are rushing down my eyes. They fall onto my plate, splattering into thousands of little pieces. I've given up on my apatite. I don't like adapting to change and this is a change I don't want in a million years. It wasn't the change that anypony can change to. It was a change that doesn't come back to say "I'm sorry, let me help you for what I've done." No, it hits you and doesn't regret it.

I put my plate down onto a near by counter. I walked slowly into my room. I got a few weird looks from my parents and my brothers. The door swung open and my face met with my pillows. It was soaked with tears in minutes. My whimpers became a small whisper as I didn't want anypony to hear me. I wanted to be in an abyss of isolation. No ponies for miles, no glares, no nothing. Just blankness.

I even failed at that as in the corner of my eye I saw my brother walk in, Jordan. His eyes met with mine as he plopped down onto the bed. "Hey, what's wrong?" His deep voice was just like dads. I swear he's a copy of him but looks different.

"Mom hates me, everypony hates me." I meant this. I pulled a pillow onto my head so I couldn't breathe. I expected him to react quickly. He took the pillow and through it across the room. I knew he would, it was worth a try though. I could do it when he falls asleep. He wouldn't know, no one would know.

"Don't do that! You'll get yourself killed! Look I wouldn't know how you feel. But I'm here for you. I don't care if your gay, straight, or even if you change your gender. I'm here for you. I don't care what mom, your friends, or even what the family says. You're my brother, and brothers don't let other brothers hurt themselves. Even in the slightest of ways." He picked me up and I leaned my head on his shoulder. His body heat came over me like a furnace. I feel warming feeling in my heart. But that doesn't take away my hatred towards myself. He wrapped his arms around my back and held me close. I did the same.

His look in his face was a one of a kind. He meant something for real. No jokes, no tricks, no illusion. He was holding back tears of fear. Fear of me offing myself. Fear of my own fear taking over me and consuming my life. I had my own fears, but my own fear was him being to protective. But.. I'll cherish this moment. I wish I had this feeling for every second of every day of every week of every year to etc. It felt warming, happiness, and protection like a shield. Knowing you're safe and welcomed into someponies life.

We laid down still hugging each other. Now snuggling, in the night time. Just two brothers on a bed snuggling knowing that they will love each other forever.

Comments

[Dourden776]

I was wondering... did you make your wallpaper in 53?