Crying

So lonely.

Ever so lonely.

That’s all I ever think about. How I am so lonely in a world full of beautiful mares and handsome stallions. I try to imagine what it would be like to have my own special somepony thatI can cuddle with and have the great snuggles that all my friends talk about. It seems so joyous and the fact is, is I am missing out on this part of life.

Well, there seems to be confusion as well. I always seem to get hints from friends and other ponies but whenever I try to respond to their emotions they are already set on a different pony. I try to talk to them about why they switched to somepony else and they say I take to long to even notice them and they walk away.

I can’t even begin how many times I have cried at night thinking about this. About how lonely I am and that I will never have a mare or stallion for myself. Just like I am right now. Crying into a pillow, a fear that spike might react to my sadness in an unstable manner. After all I do have him. I have raised him ever since he hatched from that green and purple egg. In an essence he is like my little filly, and when a little filly sees their mom cry it stresses them out. I don’t need that stress on top of mine. It will only cause more trouble for us in the long run.

I had spike make some hot chocolate sense it was really cold outside and it was drifting into my tree house. I tried my hardest to clear my eyes when I heard spikes feet coming up the stairs, probably carrying two mugs of hot cocoa on a platter like he does every time. I wiped my eyes and flipped my pillow over and put a smile on as he walked in the door.

“Hi mo-Twilight, I made the cocoa you asked me to make. I made it extra chocolatey tonight!” Seeing him happy about extra chocolate made me happy but I still had the pain.

“I hope you didn’t put too much extra cocoa in like you did a couple weeks ago. We had to get new cocoa a day later. Remember?” I asked

“Yes Twilight of course I remember. It was like two weeks ago.” He smiled. I already know he put too much in. well, I am glad I still have bits left over from my cocoa savings. I am so glad I put a fund aside for it. Spike drinks cocoa like it is outlawed.

“Hehe,” I laugh a little. “Spike, did you put peppermint in it too?” Spike has a thing for peppermint. He puts it on anything that has chocolate in it or on it ever since he learned it tastes amazing.

I sighed as he said “Yeah, just a little.” the sigh was because a couple I knew showed me it when I was still a filly and they have long passed away since then. They, couple. Those words flow through my head like it meant the world, and the recurring questions came back and a tear escaped from the corner of my eye. Spike didn’t see it but I still looked away and out the window a fear he did crossing my mind.

“Well, Spike when you are done brush your teeth and then get into bed,” I told him making sure he remember to brush his teeth.

“I will Twilight. I do have the best dragon teeth in all of Equestria!” He exclaimed.

“Well little best teeth dragon you need to sleep.” I gave spike a room of his own since there were a couple of empty ones and I figured he needs a bedroom for himself so he can keep his own shenanigans to himself and in a separate room then mine.

I made sure he brushed his teeth and got tucked in. I went to my own room and did some reading on what a relationship is like hoping that in the near future I will be able to have one. The question that pops up a lot is what gender I am interested in. I always skip that nonsense because I can care less if it is a mare or stallion, just as long as they love me back as much as I end up loving them. I fell asleep in my bed with the book open by my side. My dreams entered my conscience part of my brain.

I dreamt of a beautiful. A beautifully groomed white coat and brilliantly purple hair that looks amazing the way she wears it but even more so when she wears it down as if it was wet. Her tail the same color as her mane and just as magnificent when worn down. I dreamed that her and I were trotting along a small river laughing as the day was closing and the sun was dropping. We laughed as she flicked water on me and I playfully tackled her and we rolled around eventually stopping with her pinning me down in a playful way. Water dripping down her hair and face and onto mine. She smiled beautifully. I smiled back and then she lowered her head down to touch my lips with hers and just as they touched I woke up.

I screamed a little that I wasn’t able to finish the dream and huffed down the stairs going straight to the coffee maker and filling it up and turning it on. I gave a little mad yell of anger cause I have that dream every night but I never get to finish it cause I wake up. Spike wasn’t up yet so he wouldn’t see my fillyish actions. Although I may have woke him up. He still has an hour though according to the clock on the wall.

I sigh as I pour my coffee passing on the sweetener and adding a little creamer and sugar. I sit at the table and just think.

I seem to be lost. all I think about is a somepony of my own but never about my work and my duties in Ponyville. I start to think and just wonder. Sighing doesn’t help but I do it again feeling like I should go do something. I finish my coffee and go into the study room just as Rainbow Dash smashes through a window.

“Twilight! Twilight!” She was yelling. Her perfect messed up mane swaying with her head. “Twilight! We need you, something happened to Rarity and she is in trouble!”

At Rarity’s name being said it was like a sensor went off and I was in full action mode.

“Let’s go!” I automatically say. Forgetting about Spike, I gallop out the door Rainbow Dash following behind me.

939 views