• Member Since 13th Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen May 24th, 2016

EllyCoo


Hi, I'm EllyCoo. But you can call me Elly or Amy. I'm french so excuse my grammar errors and all that. Thanks! Hope you like stuff I do

T
Source

Twilight Sparkle told you what happened during her trip to the human world. But none of you know what exactly happened.
Dear Princess Celestia, I'm not coming back, but I want you to know what happened.


Please ask before submitting to groups.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 16 )

I'll be honest.
The concept of Sunset writing a letter to Celestia about the who ordeal feels rather unique.
However, I think this fic could've been better. First off, The grammar. Yeah, I can understand that English is a very complex language. But that doesn't mean that it should prevent you from writing well. For example:
"And Flash went mad and left me."
:rainbowderp: You mean they broke up because Flash went insane? That's odd.
A better way of writing that would be. "Then Flash got mad when he found out, and broke up with me."
So, I recommend that you get some more help on improving your grammar.
Second, the letter feels pretty bland. It's just nothing but exposition all the way through. Recapping the comics and the first film. It would've been nice if you at least put how she felt about these issues; because it feels as if she was writing her a report on her experiences than a letter on why she won't comeback.
So, overall, it wasn't terrible, just not good. However, I will acknowledge your efforts.:twilightsmile:

5174948 Thanks! And I didn't mean Flash went insane... xD

5175764
You're Welcome, my friend.:twilightsmile:
PS: Sorry about where it reads "the who ordeal", it was meant to say "the whole ordeal".

This is a nice little story. I had to read it twice to make sure I didn't misread a few parts, but I feel it was well done.
I wish people would write more about Sunset and her relationship with Celestia more, but you get what you get. I got real emotional about the part where Flash broke up with Sunset, well both actually. I won't lie, I don't care for Flash Sentry, I'm a Trixie fan first, and Silver Spoon is best filly. :derpytongue2: Can't wait to see what you come up with next!

5179820 Geez thanks ;v;

5179958 I'm sorry, did I offend you? If I did I'm sorry I meant nothing of it.

5179999 ??? No you didn't.

"And Flash went mad and left me."

So Flash Sentry can channel Saidin and the Taint drove him mad now?

This is a nice little story. Very interesting concept on the story of Sunset! :pinkiehappy:

5176095

Sorry about where it reads "the who ordeal", it was meant to say "the whole ordeal".

5174948

First off, The grammar. Yeah, I can understand that English is a very complex language. But that doesn't mean that it should prevent you from writing well.

Write once, Spell Check twice, grasshopper! :trollestia:

5179999 THOSE WERE TEARS OF JOY, MAN!

But, in all honesty, it's true. Friendship can be the most powerful thing ever, but it that also makes it extremely dangerous, too. I am kinda on Sunset's side.

6449229 coming back just to reply to this ; yeah, i always thought the EQG story was kinda dumb and unexplained, so... and Sunset deserved to be more likeable :'D

Do you remember that day, when I passed the test? I hatched the phoenix egg. I hatched Philomena's egg. Then you took me as a student. I became the Student of the Sun. It made me proud, and I was sure my mother, up there in heaven, could be proud of me too. The next day, you made me pass tests of levitation, teleportation... and you told me to grow that flower. It was sun-shaped, it was warm, and it had hot colors.

interesting.

I cast a spell on it and it grew huge. I didn't know what it meant, but you shrinked it back to a normal size and went in some secret room. And I decided to give it a shot. I opened the door, Princess. Your magic was needed to open it, but I succeeded. And I kept it secret. I decided to study about it. I also met one of the young trained guards, we fell madly in love. I had time for him, and time for discovering who I really was.

huh :rainbowhuh:

Please, please please please understand me, Princess! When I discovered what the test meant, I was really mad you kept it a secret. You told me magic was fun, but also a serious matter. I took it lightly at that time, but if you just told me, I would boost my efforts. You should have told me right away I was meant to be the future Raiser of the Sun. I felt bad for yelling at you. I felt mad when you yelled at me. I felt sad when Flash Sentry yelled too.

Didn't expect that pony was flash. :derpyderp2:

I cried so much when I arrived there. I was in some sort of school. I was sitting under a tree, depressed. I heard some whimpers from the other side of the tree too. I turned around and saw a girl who looked as sad as me. She looked up. It was Applejack. We chatted for a bit. She became my best friend. She was rejected because of her accent, of the place where she came from, her clothes... a countryside girl.

how sad. :fluttercry:

Then once day, Applejack and the group of 5 came to Flash Sentry and me. They yelled, "We know the truth, Sunset! You're using Flash Sentry to become more popular. You could start by making real friends to be more loved by everyone else." Applejack told them everything. She said: "Sorry Sunset. I had to be honest. What you were doin' was monstrous..." And Flash went mad and left me.

She had it coming without a doubt.

Login or register to comment