• Member Since 13th Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen May 24th, 2016

EllyCoo


Hi, I'm EllyCoo. But you can call me Elly or Amy. I'm french so excuse my grammar errors and all that. Thanks! Hope you like stuff I do

T

Cadence introduces to Derpy the art of match-making. But Derpy doesn't know how to recognize two perfect souls and has the most extravagant ideas.
Already at the second pairing, Cadence couldn't take it anymore. It had to cease.


Cover vectors by CoordinatesRS and Proenix on deviantART.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 21 )
Mad
Mad #1 · Oct 22nd, 2014 · · 2 ·

No offense, but this sucked.

5173137 It's fine. It was meant to be dumb anyway

The actual story needed way more detail.
Upped because it was a good idea and the pairings were simply fabulous :trollestia:
I'll keep an eye out for more work of yours.

And this is way Derpy (and Cadence) should not shipped anypony. I really liked it. (even though it is kind of "dumb".) :rainbowwild:

5173155 Yeh. I'm bad at details, I always knew that. x3

This is a perfectly nice little comedic one-shot.

Now then, English is your second language? The spotty grammar would agree. It's not bad, it just needs some polish, maybe even an editor.
The bigger issue is sentence structure. They're well-crafted... but they're all simple sentences. Especially in the first half.

Cadence was in her room, over her desk. She was working for a few hours. Her husband, next to her, was putting on his armor. Shining gave his princess a kiss on the lips. Cadence blushed at the kiss and nuzzled Shining Armor. He looked handsome in his armor.

These six sentences, each of which convey very short, brief bits of information, can be expanded into much longer, more detailed sentences that flow much more nicely.
Example: "Cadence was in her room, poring over work at her desk. She had been at it for a few hours, and the fatigue was beginning to get to her. Looking up from her desk, Cadence saw her husband standing next to her, fitting himself into his breastplate. Their eyes met, and with a warm smile, Shining Armor leaned in for a kiss. Cadence blushed madly and nuzzled into her husband's embrace. He always did look dashing in his uniform."

I like what you have here, but with a bit more practice and guidance, you can vastly improve.

5173137 Should be mocking crazier pairings in a crazier way. Like dislestia or fluttercord. Or any fluttership.

Mad

5173857 I like some shipping, I mainly ship anime characters though. It's strange since I'm aromantic :rainbowlaugh:

Mad

5174233 Yeah, fluttershy is pretty boring if you ask me. Not sure why everyone likes her. :applejackunsure:

This is one of thoe fanfic that leaves me thinking "Wow, that was weird... but I kinda' like it."

My only complaint is we never got to see Sweetie Belle and Iron Will.

5174768 i will answer this in one word. Fluttershy. Or cuteness.

Derpy... Did you really ask cadence to pair her aunt with your daughter?

Looks like Derpy took a horn to they eye in that cover art.
I guess we know what's up with that now.

5174753
I have been a part of many fandoms in the past, so I'm no stranger to this particular quirk of the fans. I have some too ( The most heated shipping war i have seen in a fandom was ATLA shipper, mainly zutara and kataang :Shiver: oh the story i can tell) I have some shipped that i like (like the 11th Doctor and River Song.) (in other fandom too.) but yet i have the in your face I-hate-you-if-you-don't-like-my-otp. What also get me about is is when people the pairing between siblings or between parent and child just revolts me, and I'm just going to say just that. And yes it annoys me that much. :pinkiecrazy:

5174195 Oh yeah when I read those first sentences again. xD
God I sound like a robot. I'll fix that

5174847 That would beh funny wouldn't et

Mad

5174878 Meh, Pinkie is way more adorable :pinkiehappy:

Mad

5174986 I don't mind incest ships because I think they're really funny sometimes, what I can't stand are shipping stories that are ridiculously rushed which unfortunately makes up the most of the shipfics.

Login or register to comment