Hmm, let's see where this is going...

Writing's ok, story concept is intriguing, and the plot is thickening at a decent pace.  I'll favorite this to keep an eye on it.

Interesting start to the story; curious to see where it goes from here.

Quite an interesting beginning. I hope you're continuing this!

Very intriguing update.So Pinkie's a rock salespony and we've got Orangejack. Curious to see what's going on with Twilight (if i had to guess, she either failed to become Celestia's student, or is still a friendless shut-in) and Rarity (no idea, aside from a presumable lack of fabulosity).

Pinkie and Rainbow's reactions seem to be hinting that they might be having the same experiences as Fluttershy,

The Cutie Mark Crusaders never forming has some interesting implications when combined with Apple Bloom saying that she's the only pony in her class with a blank flank. Either Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo aren't in her class in this universe, or the CMC's escapades actually slowed down their gaining of their Cutie Marks (which would kind of make sense).

Looking forward to more.

>>626391626391

Thanks!

In this universe, Apple Bloom had an easier time avoiding Diamond Tiara's cuteceñera, so she didn't meet Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo there.  Even when they met in the regular universe, they were all suprised that there were other blank flanks.  In season 2 at least, there are plenty of ponies without cutie marks at their school, if not their class.  I think even Thunderlane's brother, who was old enough to get invited to tornado duty, didn't have one.  So the girls aren't in her class, but they're around - she just hasn't noticed she isn't as alone as she thinks.  

In both universes, a lot the Crusaders'/Apple Bloom's angst is because they can be really unobservant when it comes to cutie marks - which is probably why the CMC haven't noticed all the obvious lessons that their strategy of trying everything isn't really helping.

Now this tickled my interest.

I wonder what kind of jobs Twilight and Rarity picked up.

Congrats on getting this onto Equestria Daily.

Okay. The world isn't ruled by Discord. The world hasn't been engulfed by eternal night. The changelings haven't left all ponies emotionless husks.

Is this a timeline where Luna was never corrupted?

A simpler one where the Sonic Rainboom never happened? But who purified Luna then?

And if this an alteration of fate, I don't see who exactly is profiting here.

This timeline doesn't seem better or worse, just different.

>>643229643229

Thanks

I'm guessing Rarity moved to Canterlot long ago.

I do wonder who defeated Nightmare Moon? Doesn't Fluttershy remember that incident?

Or........was there never a Nightmare Moon in this timeline? :D

By the way the story's going, I'm willing to bet that Rarity either works with Pinkamena, or is a miner herself.

Twilight's fate is intriguing, while Spike's fate is pure Nightmare Fuel...I am so tracking this. Can't wait for more.

The one bug here, is the idea that the mane six couldn't find OTHER ways to find happiness/individuality/fulfillment to achieve their cutie marks other than the ways they did in the cartoon. I just don't like it. It feels, restraining to me.

As I said on ED, I do so love alternate universe to real stories. And this so far is a good one, if nothing else for the fact that Fluttershy is a weather pony who has no REAL problem with it or flying everywhere in general

But....I do hope there's something about the lack of the whole eternal darkness thing and all.

>>643381643381

That may have been deliberate on the part of whatever force split the mane six up...

Interesting story.  I'll be interested in seeing what's going to happen.  Keep up the good work.  

Also, I LOVE the picture of Fluttershy you have up there.  It's adorable!

Oh darn. I wanted to write something with this premise.

But you're doing a great job with it!

Hmm, the only thing that would have kept Fluttershy in Cloudsdale after basic training, would be if on the day the Rainboom was to happen, Dash was absent. Fluttershy fell when Dash left the starting line so: no Dash, no fall, no Rainboom, no life calling realization for any of them.

Leaving the question of what caused this; is it a Great evil. or just a glimpse into what could have been...

This reminds me of an episode of Doctor Who. In fact, it's exactly like Turn Left, one of my personal favorites. I assume that in this universe, Rainbow Dash backed down from the race challenge and never performed the sonic rainboom.

Hmmmm, judging from the lack of Rainboom Mk.1 induced marks and character placements I'm guessing that the Pegasus race never happened.  I'd hazard a guess that Rainbow had been flying somewhere else that day, but since this story is about Fluttershy, it's likely that she used some assertiveness or parental influence to get herself out of the bullies' spotlight.

Man, everything's going to go down hard when Nightmare Moon shows up.

Weather-mare

Rock farmer

Sad aristocrat

Boring and ordinary

Probably still in fashion

Remedial job/librarian

                    (probably no magic as well)

This is what I see

Is it just me or does Pinkamina in this one remind you a lot of Stan from the monkey island series?

>>643352643352

Its also quite possible this other timeline hasn't reached Nightmare Moon yet!  We've got indications that the original/real timeline is well past there, but that doesn't mean this new one is.  It would also explain the lack of Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.

Fluttershy in the CMC.

Just read both chapters so far and the concept is pretty intriguing. Only critique/suggestion that I can offer is that I noticed Apple Bloom's speech/text is not written with a very heavy accent. Now this t'aint a big deal but I thought I'd throw it out there if Apple Bloom or inevitably Apple Jack has more speech. ~ Though, come to think of it. I don't know if this was just extremely clever that maybe because Applejack isn't around that her accent didn't get ingrained on Apple Bloom... And shoot, with AJ in the city she probably wouldn't either... ~ Looking forward to more!

Also, CLOUD KICKERS UNITE!

Or maybe...in this world, Luna was never corrupted. She was still Luna and neve became jelous of her sister.

Mmm the paceing peaves somthing to be desired but Otherwise is really good qnd im curious to see whqt happens next in this story:)

Pacing* leaves* and*

Sry about my spelling im typing this w/ a laggy touch screen XD

I like the story so far and look forward to new chapters.

Of all the mane 6, the most shy and timid, Fluttershy, is the one searching for answers so far. Interesting choice.

Quite a turn from what I expect from the mane 6. Looking forward to where it will lead.

>>643352643352

Nightmare Moon: "AFTER ONE THOUSAND YEARS I'M FREE! THE NIGHT WILL LAST FOREVER!"

Celestia: "LYRA, NIGHTMARE MOON'S ESCAPED, ASSEMBLE A TEAM OF PONIES WITH FRIENDSHIP!"

*Theme song*

Nice! Hints of a classic "for want of a nail" setup, although I wouldn't be complaining if something else turns out. Also interesting to have a slightly less reclusive Fluttershy as the main character. I don't think she gets enough spotlight usually.

Also, Cloud Kicker? Interesting choice. Underexposed but sufficiently recognizable tertiary background pony that at least a good part of the fanbase will know who she is. Can do a good job of backing Fluttershy up without stealing attention as a more famous pony would.

Looking forward to seeing where this will go!

As far as I can see the only difference between this and canon is RD never did the sonic rainboom, right?

Very interesting premise. It does leave me wondering about what the point of "temporal diverson" (as a sci-fi fan, I'm embarrassed to admit I don't know the term for it) was. It seems obvious the sonic Rainboom never happened, but why? GIven that it's Fluttershy who seems aware of the change, I'd guess it was she who did something differently. Perhaps she stood up to the bullies at flight camp on her own, so that RD never had to help her.

Sooooooooo... If Fluttershy grew up differently, she wouldn't have gone to flight camp, therefore Rainbow Dash wouldn't have challenged whatstheirnames to a race in the defense of Flutters, resulting in no sonic rainboom, resulting in no cutie marks.

Im liking this story,since they dont have there cutiemarks im guesing the sonic rainboom never happened therefore Applejack didnt go back home Pinkie never found happiness im not sure would of happend to Rarity Rainbow Dash backed down from the race or didn't hit Fluttershy at the start and twiligh"Twilight  failed her entrance exam so spike doesnt exist and Celestia never met her but what happened with Nightmare Moon?

Sounds interesting. I'll be reading this later.

Pretty cool! Not sure where this is going, but...

the writing is a bit clumsy but the concept makes up for it. i'm so curious where this is going

So many comments - thanks to everyone for reading and for the kind words. It looks like a lot of people have more or less the same idea about where this universe diverged from the regular one.

As for Nightmare Moon and the current lack of unending darkness, there is an in-universe explanation for that. Mostly though, beginning with Nightmare Moon triumphant would be a much different and darker story than the one I had in mind. I certainly don't mind a good darker fic if I'm in the mood for it, but I didn't really want to write one. Especially not one starring Fluttershy.

>>644528644528

With accents, I'm hoping I can get them across without too many phonetic changes. I'm writing chapter 3 now, and Granny Smith, who has the same accent here as she usually does, talks, and I'm trying to get her speech patterns across without doing anything to disrupt the reader's flow. I've read stuff by much more experienced, professional writers who went a bit overboard with writing accents into the dialog, and I don't want anyone to have to slow down over patches of some character's dialog or have to re-read it a bunch of times just to piece out what they're saying.

As for Apple Bloom, having grown up with her brother, she does take after him more than her regular counterpart does. Of course, without Applejack around to handle some of the business aspects, Big Mac is a bit more talkative here, if only out of necessity.

I'm liking this premise and looking forward to reading more.  Thanks!

SO AWESOME!!!! i think i know what it is, too! it's an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WHERE RAINBOW DASH NEVER PERFORMED THE SONIC RAINBOOM!!!!!!! oooo, i cant WAIT for the next installment! get writing!!!!!!!!!!

Very nice update. Rarity working at Sugarcube Corner surprised me at first, but it really does fit. She's still indulging her artistic side and dreams of bigger things, but now it's edible art instead of fasionable art.

Also, is that a reference to my fic I spot?

Verah nice.

In particular, I'm enjoying the Fluttershy and Cloud Kicker. Almost a bit of a relief to see Cloud Kicker toned down to regular setting after reading somepony's take on her.

Also loving how this version of the mane 6 are fairly ordinary instead of at the top of their games. Excellent commentary on the magic of friendship.

I have a theory that in this story Nightmare Moon might not of attacked yet but she soon will and then the main 6 will team up and beat her. I don't know, just a thought. Also I suppose this is a world where Rainbow never did a sonic rainboom, thus denying the 6 their Cutie Marks, but that's a bit obvious. Anyway awesome story.

My personal theories on whats going on

1.) Fluttershy had a real bad accident and this is all a dream of hers.

2.) Discord or some other bad guy has put them into a lotus eater like device

3.) there is a dimensional riff. I also would like to say I think in this world, Luna never became her nightmare self or was never born.

>>744279744279

Rarity was definitely the hardest of the alternate mane six for me to get a handle on what she was up to, but I'm pretty happy with the way she turned out. (Pinkie as a salespony just seemed to click right away. Rarity, not so much.) Writing has definitely made me very sympathetic towards her perfectionist streak.

(Poor Sweetie Belle, though. Even in an alternate universe, Rarity still has a job she's not any good at.)

And yes, yes it is.  

Wait, the twins are around? That came fairly late in season 2.  Well there goes my theory that this is a no-boom set Pre-nightmare moon. Unless...

Cannon Pinkie was kind of child-like right?  If the Cakes took her in as so much fannon seems to portray, it's possible that they might have held off on having foals until they were older (i.e. until Season 2).  Given that Pinkie stayed with her parents it's likely that the Cakes felt no such restrictions, which would allow them to have them much earlier.  Events in the timeline are tweaked a bit, but this is still pre-Nightmare.  Moon's going to crash down so hard come Midnight of the Third Day and poor Twilight's probably serving hay fries at a trot-thru somewhere so she won't be much help.

I guess there is a bit of hope though: Fluttershy's prolonged stay on the ground is giving her more interaction with animals, so she may earn her mark yet.  And if Fluttermat can do it then I'm not going to give up on the rest of the manesix.

Still, there must be some seriously deep magic at work in the background if FannonShy is getting memories from CannonShy.  >>745287745287 has brought up some good theories (if this is a Lotus Eater Machine it'd probably have to be a group one).  I don't know what to think yet as there's not enough conclusive evidence, but it'll certainly be a ride finding out!

I'm loving this so far...I can't wait to read more :)

I am Really worried about how twilight is doing...

without her magic, the princess, nor Spike, Failing the unicorn academy test... what would become of her?

change knowledge for looks and turn into a model? keep the books and turn into a teacher? become a worse than before recluse?

So thats what happened to Rarity, who would have thought that?( you I guess) I'm worried about what could have happened to Twilight had she failed her test as a filly.  Go on......

yes...yes...YES...all is going as planned....

very interesting story. I'm curious what things will be like when Fluttershy meets Applejack... and if she'll even ever find Twilight.

This is a nicely written and incredibly engaging tale, despite that, I can't quite get past my initial objections with the premise. It feels absolutely wrong that the mane six would end up so unfulfilled, that somehow the canon timeline is the only 'right' one. I think they are all much stronger mares than that, and they would've found other passions, or at least other ways of finding their standard cutie mark. But I suppose that's just a personal problem against anything supposedly fated, and I can ignore that niggling feeling to find out what the story you're trying to tell is. Besides, I'm willing to look past almost anything for giving me some precious rock farmer Pinkamina.

I guess what I'm saying is that you've shown us a nice little world here, and while I'm hoping it doesn't fall apart in the face of Destiny, it will still be interesting if it does.

Very, very, very nice and original story.

Thank you very much for your work,

The story is really good, not only because it has good concept and nice writing. You created some unique mood in the first chapters.

The story is filled with thin sad feeling. Something like you have bad dream (not horror one) but do not understand that you are dreaming and think "something is terribly wrong, but I cannot figure what". I think when things will change to better and heroines will start discovering themselves (I hope they will as you did not set sad/tragedy tag) it will be breathtaking contrast.

I think it is better to read this story in larger parts that one chapter to feel it better, so I'll wait until there will be two or tree chapters more and than read them at once.

Thanks again for the story.

This has been an awesome read so far. It has kept me captivated from the first paragraph, and I am very excited to read the next chapters.

Very interested in finding out what happens next...

Interesting start. I'll definitely keep a eye on this.

So here's chapter 4. Sorry it took so long to get this one up. I just want to thank everyone reading for putting up with it and deciding to stick with me.

I'm surprised.

Did Applejack...I mean...Valencia have an orange-cutie mark?

im guessing the cutie marks a fake, They wouldnt want a highclass pony with no cutie mark

Oranges? WHaaaaaa?

Applejack's special gift has always been her family; Valencia is just dedicated to a different part of it.  And seems to have regrets that AJ never did, although the story has suggested that Valencia has brought more money to Sweet Apple Acres than AJ does. The different cutie mark may just be about how she's helping her family; keeping them comfortable by sending home money vs. just scraping by but being there is another of those apples-to-oranges comparisons.

Poor Fluttershy :-(

>>972401972401 A fake cutie mark that matches her relatives, to boot.

Poor Trixie, only able to obtain the fame she craves in a doomed alternate universe.

>>972401972401

You have read my mind, good sir.

>>972119972119

Excellent story! :D

>>973095973095

Who says its doomed?

>>973350973350

I guess it doesn't have to be doomed, necessarily. But, I'm getting the feeling that rather than a true parallel universe, this is a case where someone's been messing around with time travel or memory spells or something, and once Fluttershy figures it out everything will snap back to normal.

it could be a fake, but i don't think that's likely, simply because AJ is - or would be - the element of honesty. on the other hoof, she can't really have an other cutie mark, one pony's special talent is settled from birth on, isn't it?

i guess i'll just have to wait for the next chapter

Now just Twilight is left, I wonder how Fluttershy will find her.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png

>>973497973497

It does seem that way doesn't it.

Man, I'm really digging this fic! I'm not much of a Fluttershy fan in the show and most fics I read don't feel like they get her voice and mannerisms down right, but gosh darn it you've got it down so great. Without a doubt my favorite Fluttershy focused fic and definitely one of my favorite fics overall! I eagerly await the next installment!

*HIT FOR A LOOP!* Ok, fake, its painted on, it has to be...Darn it why do you have to be good at keeping us in suspense!!!!!

I would alos like to say, I am feeling bad for Cloud kicker...we dont know is this is an alt reality, messed up timeline, or a lotus eater machine. With the last twon there is a good possibilty that the friendship between Cloudkicker and Flutters would never be.

That certainly was interesting. I really want to know what's going on. Guess I'll read and find out

Alright, so it is fairly obvious now that the sonic rainboom didn't happen. Additionally, I would like to know what happened (will happen?) with Luna/Nightmare Moon. Time to read more.

I've come up with a very strange. potentially very convoluted, theory as to how all of this fits in.

1. Ever played Chrono Cross? Or read the Apprentice Adept trilogy by Piers Anthony? I'm thinking of some sort of parallel world theory similar to one of those. It would explain the difference between the two worlds, as well as why Fluttershy seems to remember memories from her parallel world self.

"On her flank, just past the hem of her dress, Fluttershy spotted one and a half orange wedges."

Snap, crackle, and pop? She has a cutie mark, but Apple Bloom mentioned that AJ was hesitant to bring it up whenever the topic of cutie marks came up. So... a fake?

Anywho, this is a great story, sir. I look forward to the next update. Happy writing

>>973095973095  I don't know. Given the timeline I think this is still prior to her Ponyville visit.  She had fame in the show, only she was unfortunate enough to come across someone who could bust her boast.  Although at this point I guess Twilight failed the magic exam, so she won't be dispatched to Ponyville in the first place.  Trixie will get her 15 minutes of fame, but only under the shadow of eternal night.

Very nice. I do appreciate the ongoing nods to Winning Pony.

Orangejack (er, Valencia) was interesting to see in action; I agree with some of the speculation about the Cutie Mark being a fake; covering up her blank flank would make sense for high-society ponies, and her lying about having a Cutie Mark would fit with most of the other ponies being not-quite-right in this universe.

Still very eager to see where things go from here.

>>973534973534 As far as I know, cutie marks are not predestined. They frequently run in families, sure, but in the end it's a declaration of what and who you are.

Interesting. So AJ/Valencia found a different talent, rather than not finding one at all.

I'm guessing the cutie mark is a fake. Either painted or glued on.  

Fluttershy's memory is reminding me of the start of KH2, with Roxas getting Sora's memories

Interesting...

>>nemryn Regarding messing with time travel. Is it just me or is Dr. Whooves gonna make an appearance. But that's probably me and my fandom for him.

So the only one left is Twilight. And while the other ones seem to have carved at least something out of RDs lack of Sonic Rainboom I can't for the life of me imagine how Twilight must be doing.

If only Fluttershy could work up the guts to tell a complete stranger about those (prophetic?) dreams she keeps having, Twilight is definitely the one to gain the most from it and therefore the one most likely to listen to her.

Finally this story updates! yes! I really love this story and I can't wait to see what the deal is with this universe.

>>977053977053

I agree. That seems to be most likely. The fact that Applejack would therefore be dishonest here definitely encourages it. After all, Pinkie showed more business sense than laughter, and Rarity didn't really demonstrate any generosity there.

Awesome so far, but I have an issue with one sentence in this chapter.

"It's been a couple of years since we've had anyone running the place, so somehow I wound up looking after the place. Somepony had to."

1. AnyONE. Shouldn't it be anypony?

2. Running the place...looking after the place. "Oh yeah, I work at the place. You know...the place. The place!"

But jolly good show!

becomes !?!?!?

Good gracious. They merged!

>>990961990961

Thanks for catching that.

Thanks to everyone for reading and commenting! I'm honored that so many people are interested enough in my story to speculate about what's going on, especially with Valencia's cutie mark and what Twilight's up to. I wish I could give more thorough responses without accidentally revealing what I've got planned for upcoming chapters.

>>973497973497

Sounds like something Discord might do.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png

Interesting....very interesting......

I can't wait to read more!!!

Very intriguing. AU tags are always hit-or-miss, but I really like what you have so far.

I'm not entirely sure what it is exactly, but I really like something about the way this story is written. I guess it probably has to do with the fact that it's certainly not heavy on dialogue, and that gives it an interesting sort of calm, introspective flow.

So here's my random shot-in-the-dark guess about what's going on: Something happened that destroyed Discord permanently, instead of just disabling him for a while. He represents such a fundamental force in their world, though, that killing him erased him from time itself, so he retroactively never existed in the first place. That means that Luna and Celestia never had to discover the Elements of Harmony to defeat him, so when Luna went all Nightmare mode, Celestia had no way to banish her to the moon. The only option was to outright kill her, so Luna's gone forever, and no threat ever existed for Nightmare Moon to return. All of that means no connections to the Elements of Harmony for Fluttershy and her friends, meaning Rainbow Dash had no Loyalty drive to push her that extra bit to pull off the sonic rainboom, or maybe she never defended Fluttershy from the bullies in the first place. And from there it's pretty obvious where their lives went different.

The Elements of Harmony aren't the only force in their world, though, because like Twilight said in one episode, everypony everywhere has a magical connection to their friends, even before they meet, so those bonds still exist, and their failure to meet means they're all missing something important from their lives. As for why Fluttershy seems to be the most affected, I'm not sure. Maybe it's because she has the most trouble getting to know other ponies, and losing her group of friends tore the biggest chunk out of her ability to be happy in life, or she somehow got hit the hardest by whatever killed Discord.

I'm probably not even sort of close with any of that, though.

>>10367151036715 Wow! That was really creative. The only problem I can see is that your logic for why Rainbow didn't pull off the Sonic Rainboom is flawed. As shown at the end of this chapter, when Fluttershy came out and told Applejack what Apple Bloom wanted her to, She responded like this,

"I understand," Valencia said, causing the cringing pegasus to relax. "It's important for a pony to keep her word. I'm glad you did that for her."

>>10711371071137

Well, you don't have to be the Element of Honesty to think it's important to be truthful and keep your word. They aren't completely different ponies, mostly have just lived through different experiences.

But yeah, my little explanation is kinda convoluted, and it's probably not even similar to where the story's actually going. I was just trying to come up with a reason for Nightmare Moon's absence, and just why this alternate universe seems to be linked to the main one. Normally an alternate universe is just that--alternate, without needing a reason why. But the fact that Fluttershy is aware there was another version of herself implies there's a reason why this version of reality exists in the first place, like this is some sort of "sub-universe" that was caused by something in the primary universe.

Chapter 5! This one had some parts that were tough to write. Thanks again to everyone for reading. If anyone's wondering about the cousin thing, Vinyl Scratch may not look much like Twilight, but she does look like Twilight's brother:

Image: http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120413043541/mlp/images/thumb/f/f6/Shining_Armor.png/150px-Shining_Armor.png

Image: http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120505143714/mlp/images/thumb/0/08/DJ_Pon-3_square_no_watermark.png/150px-DJ_Pon-3_square_no_watermark.png

Now to start writing chapter 6, which should be a lot cheerier and has a few ideas I've been looking forward to for a couple of chapters now.