• Member Since 21st Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen May 13th, 2014

OnTheMoon


E

Twilight Sparkle accidentally awakens someone with a powerful spell. The entity calls to Rarity, bringing her and the others into a rising current that strives to complete something begun long ago.

This story deals with the history of the Elements of Harmony, and the connection between the current Elements and those in the past who created them.

Prereading by EQ Daily Pre-reader 23ish.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 8 )

That was an interesting jaunt into the future and the spirit world.
Nicely done though it feels like it could do with an epilogue of some sort unless this is just the 1st chapter then disregard this last few words.

449365

Definitely just the first chapter. There's a lot more to go from here. :)

Definitely an interesting concept, and this was a good first chapter. Can't wait to read more :)

Heh, talk about timing. I just left a comment on the "Rarity" chapter saying I can't wait to read more, and then as soon as I click on my "to-read" list to move to the next story, I see this one was updated. :D

Anyway, I am enjoying what you've written so far, and it should definitely be interesting to see how this all works out. I'm guessing from context that the current elements are similar reflections of previous bearers, so it should be quite cool to see how the past is affecting the present like that.

this was in my to read for AGES

724495

It's still in the works. I've had another project that I'm working on, but now that school's over I'm going to start alternating between that project and this story. I'll finish! I promise! :ajsmug:

The order of the story is really dishorienting, and I can't make out what the actual protagonist(s) is(are) going to be. But really well written, nice description, quite immersive. It's rather rare for ghost stories to make me actually afraid, but you managed that, and it felt worth it. Please continue, but try to make it clearer which characters are more important than others. For example, Sweetie Belle starts sounding really important to the plot, but it could've been simply anypony. In that same chapter, the fact that it's years later is completely irrelevant most of the time and very vaguely relevant at some very few points. Also, isn't Cadance official name something Italian sounding?

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