CLEEEEANING LADY, PANTIEMAN, AND MANY OTHER THINGS

by surprisepony

CLEEEEANING LADY, PANTIEMAN, AND MANY OTHER THINGS

"Spike!" Twilight called.

Spike lazily shoved the big bowl of popcorn and gemstones off his lap, and paused the projector. As he used his claws to get up on his feet, he grunted and sighed. His head turned to face the clock. 8:30 it read, the second hand ticking as he reached behind and scratched his back scales.
"Coming, Twilight." He said through a yawn.

When he was approaching the door, Twilight was in a frenzy, looking crazily all over (and under) the bed and entire room. Her eyes were scanning and her hooves were stamping on the ground, like they were running, but getting nowhere. Ah. So that was what all the noises were, disturbing him constantly throughout his movie.

From recent events, this pointed to Twilight feeling like she was missing something. And she was missing something, and felt very desperate indeed to find it.
She was biting her lip now, and both of her ears lay flat and twitching.

"Spike, Spike!" she called, intending for Spike to come and say about what her problem was. Unfortunately, Twilight was making that much of a noise that she didn't notice Spike casually stroll through the door and start to analyse the situation. Slowly, he had been moving closer to Twilight, and when he said "What?" the purple mare jumped because his closeness shocked her. Her eyes went wide for a moment, but then focused on the small dragon. Spike's eyes were tired and his hands were covered in small, sticky crumbs of popcorn. Ignoring the fact that he looked like a lazy cinema attendant, Twilight said, "Spike, Spike, I can't find it anywhere"

"Find what?" Spike sighed.
"My journal. I need it to categorize my notes from today and plan tomorrow. Come on, Spike, help me find it. I need it for my dreams tonight."
"Maybe you should give it a rest and sit back; have a good dream for once?"
"Uh-uh, Spike. I need to find or I can't properly schedule tomorrow."
"I thought you scheduled monthly?"
"Well, I found a way to be more productive. Now please help me to find my journal. Now, Spike."

So Spike groaned and (reluctantly) helped Twilight to find her journal. It was in the calender box. Twilight quickly read over it and went to sleep, but not before telling Spike that he should get to bed too and try and plan his day. To reply to this, he just sighed and told Twilight it was a Saturday, so he could stay up til ten. Twilight sighed and drifted off...
-----

"Okay, I'm ready to plan tomorrow-" said Twilight, in her dreams,, hoping for the heaven she had created for herself when she had spare time in dreams, but she was cut off short as she looked around her. There was green grass on the ground, though it felt rubbery and plastic. To her right was a big, blue, pixelated wall, that she could not get past. To her left there was only a white void, and a drop of Celestia knows how many meters. If she looked straight ahead, there was a floating platform with a few gold coins on top of it (also floating, and slowly spinning). The coins had a print on them, reading 'Pantieman Universe' and in the centre there was just another circle. The only sound she could hear was a slight whirring, and there was birdsong. It was calming, even if unfamiliar. There was only the smell of cut grass that was blew into her face by a gentle wind.

Only about ten feet away, there was a man, like the ones Twilight had seen when she went through the mirror. He was in a stained white suit, that clung to his skin. It covered his full body, from the soles of hid feet to the hood covering his small head. The suit had a red stripe going down one side, and the stains were brown. I'n fact there was an extremely strong odour that coming from him that even Twilight could smell. His face was small -like his seemingly fragile body- , and even though he wasn't smiling, a small part of the bottom of his wide eyes was covered, and his nose, though small, was red on the end and slightly wrinkled, unlike his mouth, which was straight and spread across his face, giving the impression that he had been ironed. Twilight could only imagine what kind of hairstyle was hidden under the hood which hid every piece of hair, so much that it could convince you he was bald.

Using her best instincts, Twilight walked towards the strange person, casting a protection spell just in case he didn't turn out to be helpful, rather the opposite. Her steps were slow and she was breathing heavily, and even though it seemed to her like more of nightmare she couldn't wake up, no matter what she tried. Pinching, teleporting, casting hard magic and trying to get exhausted were all of her failed attempts at waking up. Now that she was really getting annoyed, she more eager than ever to wake up, and it could take ages to do that, so instead of sitting and getting bored, Twilight decided to like or lump the situation, and afterwards chalk it up to experience. You can't really keep track of time anyway in dreams, thought Twilight, trying to be a bit optimistic.

When she got close enough to the stranger, about talking distance, his mouth erupted into a huge smile, and he took a very deep breath and yelled (in a very loud voice for such a little man) "I'm Pantieman!" and then, he whipped out two cartoonish guns from nowhere.
"POOPOOPOOPOOPOO!"

For once in her life, Twilight was utterly in awe. No amount of numbers could calculate to this man's insanity.

Author's Note:

Tell me what you think!
Many thanks.

Comments

[The Guardian and Friends]

wat

[sbloom85]

What did I just read?

[DerpyOnkustaken]

5296323 Eeyup- hey!

[PinkieLunaShy]

I'm dazed, confused, lost, defuddled. I just don't know so.... I don't know what I just read.

[surprisepony]

yay! mostly negative reactions!

(I want people to comment-
wat?
why?
holy crap!

thank you so much....
brings a tear to my eye)

[Cheesey Microwave]

100% Jeff The Potato Approved!
Derpy, however, is severely disappointed in you. No muffins for a month until you manage to eat ALL of your peacocks divided by pi. Or if you get a scholarship to Canterlot High. That's cool too.
By the by, Patrick Star sends his regards. He's wondering if you'll be attending the next Underwater-Fire-Of-The-Month club.

[Probably Terrible]

I... I'm not sure I understand