Frozen tears of crystal

by keam

Tears that froze to crystal.

“Where are you going, mother? Why are you leaving us?”

I remember the warmth of her little pink hoof grabbing my big blue hoof. At least they told me she was pink. Pink with a white and yellow mane. Not that I would ever know. I felt her grip tighten around my hoof, not wanting to let me go away and maybe never return.

“Mom just needs to go away for a while. You just stay here with grandmother, and everything is going to be alright, I promise.”

I lied to her, my voice remaining cold and emotionless. My heart was too frozen for me to feel or share her pain. Enamorada, I whisper. That was the name I gave her. It means in love. Such irony that in the end, I actually didn't love her enough. Enough to stay with her. I remember the warmth disappearing and her hoof letting go of mine as I turned to look out at the frozen field I knew was laying in front of me. I looked at the snow-covered mountain peaks I knew should be sticking up just above the horizon. And then, without further notice, I started walking. I could easily have used my wings to fly, but since there was no one to guide me and I couldn't see what lay before me, I preferred walking.

The snow crunched below my hooves for every step I took, chilling me to the bones. That is, if I could feel the cold. Yes, it would be chilling me to the bones if snow, ice and bitter cold affected me like it did normal ponies. But it didn't, and never had. I know that I could stay out here forever and it would still not be the cold and snow that killed me. Though I'm sure it would try, as the snow always seemed so obssesed with killing what it cannot kill. That's why there was always small puddles of half-melted snow far into spring season.

You know, there once was a princess. The night and all the dreams it contained was her kingdom. She was my friend, and she would come to me in my dreams, singing a lullaby she made for me. I can still hear the melody, ringing in my ears. I feel the tears drip down from my eyes onto my cheeks, burning for a moment before turning into crystal, just like they did that fateful day I met the princess. The melody from my memories growing louder in my ears, I start singing, retrieving the lyrics from the same memories that provide the music.

Little filly
bright and brave
feel the morning
warmth upon your face
Celestia
brings a new day
Keep your head up
Chase your doubts away

Even though I know she's not there, I can feel my princess' wings wrapping around my body, warming my frozen heart.

Snowdrop
Filly of frozen tears
Can't you see the
world has so much cheer
For you
My little one

An inner rage suddenly broke loose as I sung. I can't see. I will never be able to see. That's why I always needed others. That's why I always needed you. Despite my rage, I keep on singing, hoping the next part of the song will put out the fire in my heart before it melts.

Stand tall now
Keep your spirits high
And listen to
the stars' lullaby
Facing
Into the gentle breeze
And make a wish
to ring through the centuries

It's not me who's singing any more. It's the stars, who still remember watching their mistress sing this in my dreams, that's singing. I try to block out the stars' song as they move on to the last part of the lullaby, but it's impossible. I once let the stars into my heart, oh so long ago, when I was only a filly with a wish stronger than anything else.

Snowdrop
Filly of frozen tears
Can't you see the
world has so much cheer

The stars stop singing and I breathe out. The lullabies ended and memories I never should have brought up in the first place fade away. Suddenly, I feel so weak, as if the bitter cold that fills the wasteland around me finally broke my ever-lasting defence against it. But it haven't, because that is impossible. Trust me, I tried oh so many times, but it never worked. No, I'm just tired. Tired of trying to last when there is nothing to last for. I'm the last one of those the stars would speak to that's left, and the stars don't need me. I've fulfilled my purpose, bringing the joy of winter into the hearts of the ponies of our beautiful land.

Laying down in the snow, my thoughts return to my daughter one last time. I really lied to her when I said everything would be alright. It will never be alright, not for me nor her. One last crystal tear drops to the ground as I close my eyes.

---

“Mother won't come back, will she?”

The older mare looked down at the filly in-between her wings. She looked into the brightest pair of blue eyes she had ever seen and solemnly shook her head.

“No, she won't.”

Even though expecting this answer, the filly started crying, the hot tears trickling down on her chin, burning a moment before freezing, the droplet freezing into a crystal. The elder mare embraced the filly, wrapping her wings tighter around her and starting to sing a lullaby the fillies mother once wrote down on a paper and gave to the elder mare.

Snowdrop
Filly of frozen tears
Can't you see the
world has so much cheer
For you
My little one

Stand tall now
Keep your spirits high
And listen to
the stars' lullaby
Facing
Into the gentle breeze
And make a wish
to ring through the centuries

Snowdrop
Filly of frozen tears
Can't you see the
world has so much cheer

Author's Note:

So, I wrote this based of one small idea during one afternoon. i really need to work with writng emotions and this was great training. hope you enjoy it! ^^
* Enamorada is actually Spanish and means in love
Edited by Palakai and Setokaiva
All credit for the song goes to Silly Filly Studios and the ones who wrote and sung it.

Comments

[Charles Spratt]

I haven't finished reading it yet, but I would like to give a suggestion: please get someone to edit this. I can't talk for the story itself quite yet, but I can say this: there are an alarming number of grammar issues in this story so far. Just a suggestion.

[keam]

5135256
Like said, this was made on one afternoon, and I'll definatly try and hail an editor! ^^

[goaway]

I remember the warmth of her little pink hoof grabbing my big blue.

Big blue what?

At least they told she was pink.

Told who?

I felt how her grip tightened around my hoof, not wanting to let me go away and maybe never returne.

How is unnecessary.

Tighten.

Return doesn't need the E at the end.

“Mom just need to go away for a while. You just stay here with grandmother, and everything is going to be alright, I promise.”

Needs.

I lied to her, my voice remaining cold and emotionless, seeing as there was non.

None, I'm assuming, but it's redundant to point out there was no emotion if you've already said the voice remained cold and emotionless.

It means in love.

Definition of a word should go in italics.

I looked at the snow covered mountain peeks

Peaks.

but since there was no one to guid me

Guide.

what lay befor me,

Before.

I prefered walking.

Preferred.

if snow, ice and bitter cold affected me like it do to normal ponies.

Did, and drop the To next to it.

But it don't,

Didn't.

that's why there always is small puddles of half melted snow far into spring season.

Was always.

The night and all the dreams it contain was her kingdom.

Contained.

I can still here the melody,

Hear.

I feel the tears drip down form my eyes

From.

just like they did that faithful day I met the princess.

Fateful.

Even though I know she's not there, I can feel my princess wings wrapping around my body, warming my frozen heart.

Princess'.

A inner rage suddenly break loose as I sung.

Broke.

I try to block out the stars song

Stars'.

The stars stop singing and I breath out.

Breathe.

The lullaby's ended

Lullabies.

as if the bitter cold that fill the wasteland

Fills.

But it haven't,

Hasn't.

I'm the last one of those the tsars would speak to that's left

Stars.

and the stars doesn't need me.

Don't.

I've filled my purpose, bringing the joy of winter into the heart of the ponies of our beautiful land.

Fulfilled.

Hearts.

Laying down in the snow, my thought's

Thoughts.

It will never be alright, not for me nor her, no never.

I'm not really liking the repetition at the end of the sentence here.

One last crystal tear drop to the ground as I close my eyes.

Drops.

The older mare look down at the filly

Looked.

She look into the brightest pair of blue eyes she had ever seen and solemnly shock her head.

Looked.

Shook.

Even though expecting this answer, the filly start crying,

Started.

trickling down on her chins

Chin.

burning a moment before freezing to droplet formed crystals.

... burning a moment before freezing, the droplet freezing and forming into a crystal. Or something similar, assuming that was what you were trying to say there.

The elder mare embrace the filly, wrapping her wing tighter around her and starting to sing a lullaby her daughter once wrote down on a paper and give to her.

Embraced.

Gave.

[keam]

5135737
Thank, I'll inflict this changes into the story tomorrow. PM me if you got something for me to preread! ^^

[goaway]

5135768

I'd rather you read my stories because you wanted to and not because you felt obligated to. Feel free to pick anything from my collection if you insist, however.

[keam]

5135772
I'd be happy to read and comment on any of your stories , and I'll make sure to do so when I have the time!
I really appriciate that you helped me with the story, and I hope you enjoyed it apart from the horrible grammar!

[goaway]

5135819

I did. It was an interesting idea, and it'll look a lot better with some of those technical problems ironed out.

[keam]

5135879
Yay! Thanks again for your help!

[goaway]

5138173

You're welcome.

[keam]

5138355

Finished editing, adding a thing both you and me missed the first time,

[goaway]

5138381

Oh. What was that?

[keam]

5138392

The elder mare embraced the filly, wrapping her wings tighter around her and starting to sing a lullaby the fillies mother once wrote down on a paper and gave to the elder mare.

Before editing, it said wing, as in one wing. But as you see, it should be wings as in many wings.

I also fixed an issue with using "her" about several ponies in that sentence which could possibly creat some confusion about exactly who I'm referring to.

Also, first time writing first person, yay!

[goaway]

5138651

Ah, I didn't miss that, I just thought it was one wing being used for the hug was all.

[keam]

5138835

Anyway, good that I saw that. I imagine the filly standing in front of her grandmother, and when she start to cry, her grandmother wrap her wings around her and pull her closer to her body, hugging her.

[Dusk Melody]

Beautiful. Simply beautiful. Faved and liked

[keam]

5392812
Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it.

[grey mane]

“You can love someone so much...But you can never love people as much as you can miss them.” ― John Green
“Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.” ― Kahlil Gibran

Though it brought tears to my eyes you did a wonderful job of expressing love in a time of loss, it was great to read all the way to the very end.

[keam]

6532643 Thanks! ^_^ I would also like to invite you to read the sequel, Crystal tears that bloom to flowers

[grey mane]

6532851 Thank you I will.

[keam]

6533709 Thanks! ^_^

[PropsValroa]

This was a good, short sad story. Seemingly Snowdrop gives up and leaves her daughter, and goes out into the snow - ready to give up.