Rainbow Dash is having computer troubles, so she has Twilight take a look at it. What Twilight finds about her and her friends is quite shocking and a bit (or a lot) disgusting. It's time to have a talk. Humanized
WARNING: This was probably funnier in my head. And also mentions sex, but does not graphically describe it. No porno here, kiddies.
I wrote this for a number of reasons: I had the idea stuck in my head, thought it was funny, I've been meaning to write something humanized, and I needed to break my writer's block.
UPDATE: Thank you all so much for getting this featured on the "Popular Stories" list! Here's to hoping it get's featured.
ANOTHER UPDATE: Featured on October 6th, 2014! Thank every single one of you!
Chapters (1)
Ok, the ending made me laugh.
5104342 I don't even know, and I write the damn thing!
The last sentence has a typo. "The" should be "then".
Did not see that ending coming.
5104364
But it turned out good, am I right or what?
5104395 thanks! For some reason my typing has gotten worse in the past few months.
5104410 hey, I have a gaming laptop, and it works just fine.
It's 2 am, and I'm laughing so loud... I can't type that fast... My grandma just came to check out the noise!!! And I can't stop laughing!!!! this goes to favs!!!!!
I love that Fluttershy tried to give feedback,
I thought it was quite cool that they incorporated gaming into this story . I actually enjoyed it !!
The ending is hilarious!
So, Rainbow basically channeled Fimfiction?
Rd- I lied... I REGRET NOTHING! NOTHING!
Oh my, that ending! Just... that friggin' ending! Rainbow Dash must be some author.
Oh no, Dashie.
I don't want her to do it, but I can't help laughing. 
All I needed was that cover image and I was sold on this
Good girl Dashie for sticking up for laptop gamers, and great friend Fluttershy for reviewing hers
Oh my god, that coverart! Where did you find that?
5104410 not everybody has a desktop, also if a game needs a desktop to run then the programmers are idiots when it comes to optimisation.
5104708 Oh shit! Shots fired!
5104456 Agreed and in some ways I prefer my laptop to a desktop
5105150 Kill the bald one.
Good going Dash. No one should tell you that you can't write porn about them. Keep it up, be the Fimfic-writer.
This was glorious.
And that display picture
Fluttershy gets it
I liked that Rarity seemed more upset about the S&M than the incest.
That's her main problem with that?! The bruises?! Not the actual act of whipping Sweetie Belle?! Sweetie must have annoyed her again that day.
5/10 needs more bonze buddy.
Rainbow Dash is being loyal to your imaginary sex life.
Did anyone else find their reactions a bit... off? Twilight seems more concerned about the inaccuracy and problems inherent in the story, Pinkie Pie seems to be upset over not getting any more parties, Applejack is upset about the stereotyping, Rarity worries about how the act was too violent and about explaining the bruises, and Flut-wait, what.
What.
Wat.
Wut.
Wut
Lawl.
Perfect ending to the story.
5105408 That was actually completely unintentional.
5104962 Google images
ok that was actually a pretty funny story! glad you wrote it
Mon dieu. That was...
I've heard the concept of Dash moonlighting as a rabid clop-writer, so when I saw the description, I knew I had to see what you did with it. Then I recognized the cover art, and I knew it was going to be ridiculous.
I was not disappointed. You're going places. Especially because of Fluttershy's reaction.
That was fucking glorious. Good work, man, and congrats on getting featured.
Very hit and miss, is all I can say.
5106475 Or you could give some actual constructive criticism instead of being cryptic and unhelpful. But, yeah, I'm sure that's all you can say.
"... perfectly legitimate since the Saddle Arabians are not much larger than us, and everypony knows bigger is better anyway in terms of male endowments. Angel and I just aren't interested in each other, but I'm told he's shown an interest in Carrot Top and if they decide to play "Thumper, the Porno Bunny" together, who am I to judge? As for Harry, while the notion of sweet hot love with that big bulgy bear is thrilling, the truth is... he's gay. So that's out. All the rest were fine, espeically the one with Manny Roar... we're going to to have to try out some of those techniques the next time I visit the Everfree."
There was naught but silence, until the sounds of every lower jaw save Fluttershy's crashing through the floor resonated through the room.
But just then, ANOTHER Fluttershy trotted in! "Girls, I'm sorry I'm late I was... meep?!"
And it turned out the perverted Fluttershy was Chrysalis in disguise and doing a really terrible job at acting again.
Ummmm..... Wut?
You wrote a monster.
The idea has potential but you didn't really deliver it. It was too short and the comedy was just flat and boring, it was about as enjoyable as actually having a meeting with your friends after them finding pornography featuring them.
pffffffffttt
Dude, if you write a bonus chapter, have it where FS is the editor for RD's stories
and then her friends find out about the new clop she writes.
and then they fuckSo, Rarity is more annoyed about the inclusion of whips and chains and the possibility of having to explain bruises to her parents than the actual sex, incest, abuse and evil torture/kinky s&m?
...The sad part is, that kinda fits her character.
5106784 Dude, I might just do that. Maybe not exactly like that, but maybe some sort of bonus chapter.
5106818 Yisss. I gave an idea out! Can't wait to see it!
One of the most appropriate cover images I've seen in a while.
Plus, that ending was just the punchline this story needed.
5106530
It's all I can say without coming off as rude. I hated it, and when I hate things, I can only criticize destructively. You want criticism? Fine, on your own head be it.
Your humor doesn't strike me as funny. Sex jokes are the oldest and most tired jokes out there. There are several moments I think are rather out-of-character. For one, I don't think there's anyone realistically with the willpower to forgive so soon and so swiftly over such things--unless they liked it,(fluttershy) but what point is forgiveness, when there's nothing to forgive anyway? What really made me upset was that Rainbow Dash learned nothing from all this, still doing whatever she liked despite her friends clearly not liking it. Loyalty is founded on trust, Rainbow's friends forgave her on the grounds that she wouldn't do more, and she stabbed them behind their backs by taking the argument they had and turning it into another erotic fiction. that's selfish, and an attitude I find utterly despicable.
Part of the reason I didn't say anything else is because I try to have enough decency to not spout ranting negativity on something I don't like, keeping my own comments to a vague sentence and a downvote. Besides, you did not ask for a critique in the story description or author comments, so I didn't feel inclined to give you one.
Anyway, there are my two cents, and I would much prefer you to instead of question whether I have a soul or not, simply disregard this.
5106940 I personally liked the story, but i have my opinions and you have yours.
First off:
Absolutly hilarious story
Second:"
She learned NOTHING!!!!
Keep writing and my friend Rock on!
-ThePortalPonies
5106940 You're brutally honest. I like that. Don't let anyone tell you that's a bad characteristic.