cheesepuff
Joined 25th Oct, 2011 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Hearthbreaking, and well written.
I suppose Celestia is happy, so that's something. I like the reason behind Twilight's assignment.
Poor Luna, her trip to the moon has put her a thousand years behind her sister, and she's getting a preview of what's in store for her eventually?
In* ?
Only major problem was the final paragraph:
Capital for Nurse, and Redheart is one word.
Just say the character sighed. You don't need to have it in asterisks as if it's an RP chat.
Other than that, good show.
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120228224010/mlp/images/e/ec/FANMADE_Twilight_Clapping.gif
Thanks for pointing out the errors in grammar. I'll fix those up.
Awwww... So awesome and sad!
your story!
Seriously, how do you write so well?!
I
5105629
thanks!
I couldn't sleep one day so I wrote this to kill some time.
More research on dementia would have done wonders for the story and making the story 20k or so would have improved the story by making it feel more real. Overall it is pretty good.
Well, this certainly ain't no everywhere at the end of time but it is pretty decent. Celestia seems more like she's in the fourth or fifth stage, if she was in the sixth or seventh stage she would be in an infantile state unable to eat, speak, move, or go to the bathroom without constant assistance. It would have been far more realistic to have it be told from the perspective of luna or nurse redheart as they go through her old diaries and logs. All and all, pretty good 7.2/10