Carson and Mitch are two humans who, obviously, are teleported to Equestria. They become ponies. Pegasi, to be exact. Now that they're there, they have to save both Earth AND Equestria. It's a good thing they have help along the way, because they are going to NEED it.
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Prologue is chapter 1?
473635
Sort of. It says the chapters have to be at least 1000 words, and it's only about 350.
I flippin love this story. New chapter now!
475389
Thank you very much!
474586 I haven't actually submitted a story myself, but my understanding is that a story must be 1000 words total before it can be published...it's fine for those words to be spread across multiple chapters.
Anyway, as to story. Couple quick points.
1. "They both felt great pain, as if their very anatomies were changing." That seems a bizarrely specific and...detached way of putting it, completely outside the moment. It also doesn't actually tell me anything about how it felt...imo all this does is miss an opportunity for some descriptive writing to really pull the reader in, and unnecessarily give away the fact that they're going to be ponies--and sure anyone even vaguely genre savvy will be expecting that, but should the author/characters act like they are before there's any way to know in universe? I don' think so myself.
2. I was wondering at first why they didn't just buck the clouds and make them go poof, and came up with a couple explanations, but I'm curious what your official word on the matter is...My thoughts were either that to prevent collapses, thievery, and other shenanigans, architectural grade clouds are made to be resistant to normal pegasus manipulation, or, it'd really be perfectly believable that no one thought of it (given Carson and Mitch are new to being pesasi and RD can hardly be expected to think straight when she's been buried alive God knows how long). So would it be one of those, or is it one of those things where I completely missed it due to overthinking things?
Anyway, generally speaking, this is pretty good.
Spelling, grammar, and formatting all check out, and the writing's good. Not the greatest, but good. Pacing is spot on, description and dialogue quite good with a few exceptions. It's hard to specify what needs to be improved, really, it's just the occasional awkward phrase or poorly chosen word...reading it aloud might help you catch those. I can give you a few examples if you want, but I've already rambled enough here, especially given that I have no idea if you even wanted critique...
Heh heh.
It's a fairly cliche plot, and a lot of people will be hating on it simply because it's human in Equestria, and because people are inclined to withhold their sympathies from characters that don't have to work for everything. I don't mind much because I'm loving the slapstick humor and the fact that you're at least letting your main characters be sort of the butt of the joke more often than not, which isn't something I've seen too often. So yeah. Keep up the good work, and I will definitely fav this for future updates.
486746
Okay, so my answers:
1. Thank you. When I think about it, the way I put that never did seem quite right, and you're correct. I just can't think of anything else. I'll try to fix it when I'm not so busy.
2. Your second one is pretty much what I had in mind. Cloudsdale, I would imagine, would be made of more permanent material than normal clouds, especially the building material. I imagine the cloud rubble that they are clearing similar to marble in that it's kind of hard to destroy.
Also, I would most definitely appreciate any and all critique you have so that I can improve anything. And when you think about it, pretty much ANY human-in-Equestria story is fairly cliche. (Except for that one where they DROWNED, but survived and surfaced in Equestria. That one was pretty darn original.)
At long last my third chapter is complete! I took too long of a break on this. Hopefully, this will be me starting up again! Tell me what you think, any problems: grammar and spelling, plot, or anything else! (and by the way, I completely made the Cloudsday thing up. Just filler because I couldn't think of anything better.)
PROGRESS? What is this madness?
I just wish that my chapters were longer, but I keep coming up with good ways to end them! 
I'm going to try for 3000+ words next time, if I can help it! Oh, and hopefully I'll have some writing that will leave more of an impression.
So, yeah. Hopefully the Third pony will be revealed within the next chapter.
Chapter Five is GO! Let's see if it's any good!
Mitch has had fun editing his profile. As you may see
daww crap! no new pic! brb
oh yes it did. lulz
But anyway, the story is quite good as well so far. I shall read your new chapters tomorrow hopefully, due to the fact that it's quite late.
Yeah! Chapter Six!
I think that Spry Canyon's backstory is so complicated that I'll just make it into Chapter 7. Trust me, Starswirl is cool.
Edit: and FINALLY... Over 3000 words! (In fact, almost four thousand!)
Got a title image rollin', hand drawn on paper and colored in Photoshop!
(Next time I do something like that, I'll make sure not to shade it on the paper
)
Edit: Just realized I didn't make Cache's "101010" mark green. Will fix in future.
I really like the Cloudsday idea, and how overprotective Mitch is of Fluttershy. I also enjoyed the imagery of the Wonderbolts "Palace", for lack of a better turn.
Grammatical Errors:
"There "was" also three manniquens"
Gotta' doesn't need an apostrophe
and probably the most minor error I've seen in any fanfic
you spelled Soarin' "Sorin'" on one occasion
P.S. So hungry I could eat a h-tree, Yeah! a tree!
Cracked me up.
1997535
Gramatical errors fixed!
Looking very forward to the next chapter bub.
2009786
Good.
2015324
Indeed sir.
In the meantime.
I am getting a Derpy vinyl!! WOOOOOH!
2016439
A little known fact is that Hg (mercury) really stands for "HNNNNG"
It was named when a clever scientist isolated it in Derpy Hooves. It is suspected that these trace amounts of Mercury cause her eyes to do as they do.