Ask any wizard, and they'll tell you that while convenient, apparating is not overly comfortable. For the brief moment between point A and point B, the caster feels a sense of extreme pressure and smothering.
For Severus Snape, who refrained from this method of travel whenever possible, he found it to be worth the discomfort, just this once. For a split second before he completely disappeared, he smirked.
Pinkie Pie, who had been leaning against Snape just before he vanished, squawked and thudded to the ground. She blinked in confusion, looking around for the sullen Slytherin, before hopping to her hooves and bouncing away. "Sevvy? Seeeevvyyyyy, where aaare yoou?!"
"S-Sevvy?" Rainbow's voice forced out through barely-suppressed laughter just above her head. Falling lightly onto her hooves, Rainbow Dash chuckled and shook her head at the perpetually perky pink pony. "Whew...good one, Pinkie."
"You've seen him too?" Pinkie grinned, hopping up and down. "That's great! We're just playing Hide n' Seek, wanna help?"
Rainbow shrugged. "Eh, sure, why not?" Rainbow blinked, before giving a sinister chuckle. "Actually...let him wait for a while. So I met a new pony in town earlier...you seen her?"
Pinkie nodded, giggling. "Yep! She looked all frowny-faced, so I'm gonna throw her a surprise-party tonight. So what'd you talk about?"
"Ohh, nothing much...but what about the big guy? He's gonna be here a while too..." Rainbow gave her approximation of an evil smile, rubbing her forehooves together and using her wings to keep herself aloft. "Are you gonna throw him a party?"
Pinkie blinked. Her eyes widened, and her grin almost turned scary. "Omigosh...I could throw them both a party! AT THE SAME TIME!" And with that, Pinkie dashed off to plot and plan.
Rainbow chuckled, eyes narrowed. "This is gonna be awesome..."
----------
Snape appeared with a loud KRAK, standing in a mostly abandoned street. He looked around, smoothed out his robes, and was about to start on his way, when a faint gasp sounded behind him. Oh God, not again...
Severus turned around, spying a startled looking grey pegasus mare with a pair of oddly unfocused golden eyes. The two stared at each other for several seconds, before finally, the visually-challenged pegasus blurted out, "are you a wizard?"
Snape blinked. of all responses... He cleared his throat, staring down his nose at the mare. "Yes. Yes I am." Turning on his heel, he strode purposefully down the street.
Snape continued walking, not stopping despite the several ponies that tried to catch his attention. He looked around for the library, trying to find anything in the sea of thatched roofs. Until he realized one small detail. ...I have no idea what the library looks like.
Severus strode over to a garish, white monstrosity of a building, a rather tall ladder propped up against the side. However, there was nothing using it. Standing by the base of the building, he called up, "hello? I need directions to the library."
"I'll be right down, just a minute!" The feminine voice sing-songed back, before a snow-white mare with a curled purple mane peered over the edge of the roof. "What is it you said you ne-GAH!" In a split-second, she had disappeared back over the roof, the sound of hooves scrabbling against the uneven surface somewhat worrisome to Snape. His worries came to fruition when she appeared back over the edge, tumbling rear-first off the roof and shrieking.
Snape acted quickly, pulling his wand free of his robes with a quick, practiced movement and pointing it at the descending pony. "Arresto Momentum!"
Less than half a meter from the ground, the white mare's body slowed to a creep, taking several seconds to lightly settle on the grass back-first. She was still screaming. Snape walked up to her until his shadow engulfed her, and tried to catch the screaming mare's attention with an impatient "A-hem!"
Slowly but surely, the scream petered out into silence. Cracking one eye open at Severus, she shrinked in on herself slightly and gave a weak giggle. "...Sorry you had to see that." She extended one hoof up towards him. Snape raised an eyebrow, staring at the offered limb for several seconds before rolling his eyes and taking it, pulling her to her hooves. Once on all fours, she cleared her throat and bowed her head. "I apologize for the spectacle, you just startled me is all. My name is Rarity, and you are?"
"Snape," he offered in return, his monotonous drawl in full effect. "Now that you are no longer in danger of a rather nasty fall, would you be willing to give me directions to the library?"
An uncomfortable giggle and a gulp later, Rarity responded with a faux-enthusiastic, "of course!" Trotting ahead, she turned her head to look back. "Any particular reason?"
"It's a library." Snape commented, "from what I understand, they are for reading."
Rarity winced, trying to mask it with a faint titter. "Yes, silly me..." Turning back to face forward, she added, "and thank you, by the way. For...whatever you did there."
"It's quite alright, I wouldn't have a tour-guide if I'd let you fall." Snape smiled wryly, chuckling inwardly at his own joke.
"...Quite..."
The rest of the trip was had in an uncomfortable silence, until the faint trilling of several different bird-songs caught Snape's ear. "What the devil is that noise?" He wandered out loud, catching Rarity's ear.
"That would be Fluttershy, organizing the bird-choir for the Summer Sun Celebration. Would you like to meet her?"
Snape really, really didn't care. "I'd rather just get to the library, if you please."
"Oh really, I insist!" Rarity called out. Snape thought for a moment he heard a sinister hiss in her voice, as if she were upset or angry. He pushed the thought from his mind with a roll of his eyes, following Rarity down a detour.
Rarity and Snape stopped at the edge of the road, watching a butter-yellow pegasus lead a choir of at least thirty songbirds through what Snape had to admit was an impressive performance. "Fluttershy!" Rarity called out during a lull in the rehearsal, causing the birds to scatter. "I have a friend I'd like you to meet!"
In the meantime, Snape watched on, perfectly still as a bright yellow canary settled down at the crown of his head. "It's a pleasure."
Fluttershy smiled and greeted the unicorn, before turning to Severus and visibly clamming up. She averted her eyes and lowered her head, awkwardly scuffing her hoof at the dirt.
Snape watched on dispassionately, staring down at the pegasus with an even, flat gaze.
"I...I'm Fluttershy..."
"Severus Snape. It's a pleasure." Snape continued staring, glancing upwards as the bird started trying to yank out strands of his hair.
"You heard her?!" Rarity blurted, caught between disbelief and impressed.
Snape turned his head, causing the bird in his hair to flap it's wings and tweet angrily. "No. I heard you shout her name, I assumed she was introducing herself." Turning back to Fluttershy, he added, "could you please call off your bird?"
"Tweety!" Fluttershy immediately admonished, glaring halfheartedly at the nesting nuisance, "what have I told you about getting tangled in ponys' manes? Get down this instant!"
To Snape's relief, Tweety listened. "Thank you."
"It was nothing, she should know better!" Fluttershy voiced faintly, "actually, I'm surprised you were so calm! Most ponies would've run around screaming."
"I'm not a pony." Snape responded simply.
"Oh...right..." And she's back to being mute. Now if I could just figure out how to do that to the white one...
Gosh darnit! I keep refreshing to get a new chapter, and when i finally do it has to end like all good things! Why doe sit all have to end! I just want to go and keep reading this one fanfic where there's a character where it actually makes sense for them to go and internally monologue everything! I mean when I think of snape and his semi ocd and meticulous nature, it would actually make sense for him to monolouge! but noooooooooooo, we cant have slave labor in america so that i can go and make keep writing as fast as i'm reading to read it all in one night and wake up feeling horrible and missed the bus by one hour. But id walk to school in the rain smiling since I would have found out what happened next.
Relevant.
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4989159 I've gotten four chapters out in two days. Chill.
4989167 OHH GOD SNAPE VS TRIXIE
I'M GONNA WRITE THE FUCK OUT OF THAT
4989177 aww yiss son dis gon b gud
Not relevant.
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Im sorry, i was trying to joke but it seems i might have gotten a bit out of hand.......
Im just happy to find a new author who writes awesome stories! I get to add another to my slowly growing collection of people i stalk!
Im sorry if i made you uncomfortable or if i offended you in any way.
4988800 stahp it ron stahp it
i'm freaking loving Snape. you'r a friggin' genius!
I assume that Twilight's assessment of "Everypony in this town is crazy!" will also be Snape's assessment.
4989180 It's alright. I'm not used to that kind of...enthusiasm.
4989188 Epic twist: I am Alan Rickman.
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.
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.
.
.
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.
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Not really
Yes, well i've been told that i get a little excited about literature. Again i'm so sorry if I came off as demanding and/or pushy towards you. Just goes to show that "just joking" is something that should never be done for the fact that once something been said, it can never be undone.And to finish off this comment sandwhich you are an amazing writer and don't let anyone tell you different unless its constructive criticism for grammar or something.
4989233 I'm not upset or anything. I was actually kidding, myself. Oops.
If anyone wants to draw Snape with Tweety in his hair, be my guest. It shall be glorious.
4989177
While I think Trixie got a bad deal in her two appearances, she would fail even worse against Snape than she did against Twilight. HP magic is broken as fuck.
This story is concrete proof that Snape would be a better main protagonist of MLP:FIM than Twilight.
I LOVE THIS STORY!
10 points to Equestria.
4989305 Trixie: Anything YOU can do, TRIXIE can do better!
Snape: *Walks on stage*
Snape: ... *puts his wand away*
Trixie: Well? Don't keep the Great and Powerful TRIXIE waiting!
Snape: *laces his fingers and loudly pops his knuckles. Then walks off stage*
Derpy is either a physic or genius incarnate.
4989408 Or both
Oh god, the sarcasm is practically dripping.
Vlad, are you fanfic writing Jesus? Are you the Energizer bunny? You just don't seem to ever stop. In the past week, IE the 4th to the 11th, you've written and released 9 chapters of 2 stories with about 12135 words between them counting author's notes.
Take a break man, you earned it. You also made me like a character I normally kind of hate.
I love this.
I can hear Snape in my head, which is good, because that means you're writing him right... for now...
Also, I hope he gets to Sectumsempra a bitch
4989631 Okay, no.
Dear Vlad.
Why...why Vlad? Why won't they just let him get to the libraryehehehe?!.
Wonderful job again.
Sincerely Yours, The Cake Devil.
4989664 Because Ponyville is full of mares, and Snape gets all the bitches.
4989687
*Sniff Sniff* True dat.
4989702
Snap can't even get any girls in his world you thing he has a chance in equestria well I love optimists.now I'm going to laugh at the snap getting all the bitches and the tweety thing since I was hopeing the cat who try to get tweety in loony toons would have appered.
4989177 ..I get the strangest damn feeling. They might get along. Just a bit.
4989730 James: No woman on earth would date you!
Snape: WELL GUESS WHAT BITCHES?!
Please, please, please let Snape end up as one of the Elements. Loyalty would actually be a horrifically good fit, even after his indiscretion with Voldemort.
Oh, I am enjoying this. Keep 'em coming...
Or you will suffer through unimaginable something something...
...that ran away from me.
4989803 Do y'all really want this?
Not saying I'll fo it whether you want it or not, but I'm curious.
4989886 It happens, performing under pressure and all that. Best 2 out of 3?
4989890
I will harvest the organs of the posters for you if you do.
4989893
We'll see.
Snape should replace Fluttershy as the Element of Kindness.
4989890
Dear Vlad.
*Stuffs mass amounts of his doom pastries into the Mad ones cheeks.*Vlad I've come from the future where everything goes horribly horribly wrong! You mustn't upset the balance like this! Snape is bad ass enough to not even need an element, and even if you decide to give him one at least create one for him. My time is up, Reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold buy!
Yours Truly, The Cake Devil.
P.S. On a less abstract note, I'm with this fic no mater what direction it takes, just know that, for what it's worth, I'd leave the elements just the way they are.
4989787
Caustic Neutral.
4989890
I'd say no. I don't really want to see a traditional bearer displaced. Unfortunately for me, you seem to be moving in that direction. There seems to be some preliminary setup going on for Snape to wind up librarian instead of Twilight, and considering his nature he could end up the Element of Magic instead of her. He could also fit into Zecora's niche quite easily, which I'm not as against. In the end, it's your story. I just don't think he'd fit as an Element. Too unfriendly.
4989952
Dear Decidedly.
You had no idea how hard I laughed at your comment. Not because it was funny, but because we pretty much told him the exact same thing but in two completely different ways.
Anyways, have a good night, Yours Truly, The Cake Devil.
4989910 Sometimes, the most painful thing a person can do is be kind.
----------
Snape practically ran into the room, the slow, rhythmic beep of the heart-monitor putting a block of ice in his stomach. "Just what the Hell happened?"
Applejack refused to look at him, her face buried in the stark white sheets of the hospital bed, her muffled sobs the only sound aside from the life-support. Snape's eyes flitted from the orange mare to the other occupant of the bed.
Apple Bloom. An oxygen-tube breathed life into the little filly, an IV drip hooked up to her foreleg with what he assumed was morphine. The blanket was pulled up to her neck, but he could see bandages winding along her barrel.
"Manticore," a pony doctor spoke, voice grave. "She collapsed at the edge of the Everfree Forest. Her friends got help..." At this, the doctor had to wipe his eyes. "Follow me, please?"
Snape nodded silently, following the doctor out into the hall. "How long does she have?"
"How did you—"
"Because you didn't want to say it in front of her sister," Snape snapped, lip curled. "How long?"
The doctor sighed, breath shaky. "Eighteen hours...tops. Manticore venom has a one-hundred percent mortality rate. We've never been able to develop an antivenom."
Snape's breath caught, but he forced it down. "...Is it painful?"
The doctor nodded solemnly. "Extremely...It'll only get worse. I'm sorry, if there was anything I could do, I would."
A terrible, terrible thought crossed Snape's mind. "She needs to say goodbye. She deserves it. Applejack deserves it."
The doctor nodded. "I'll do what I can."
----------
"Sis?" Apple Bloom rasped, her body feeling uncomfortably hot and stiff. She could hardly move, even breathing was laborous.
"Apple Bloom...Ah'm sorry! Ah never should've left ya alone!" Applejack sobbed, hugging her baby sister.
Apple Bloom shifted weakly, trying to push away from the hug. "Sis...yer hurtin' me." Applejack immediately pulled away, distraught. "Am Ah gonna be alright?"
Applejack's eyes teared up, but she forced a smile. "Eyup...yer gonna be fit as a fiddle in no time. Ya better be, A-Ah can't..." Applejack's eyes closed, tears already running down well-worn trenches in her fur. "Ah can't handle th'farm all by maself!"
"Ya won't have to. Ya got Big Mac, remember?" Apple Bloom gave an exhausted smile. "When Ah'm better...can ya teach me how ta apple-buck?"
"Sure thing, Sugarcube." Applejack tried to regain her composure. "Whatever ya want."
Apple Bloom closed her eyes, mumbling out a quick "M'tired..."
Applejack leaned up, kissing her sister on the forehead. "Alright...sleep well. And Apple Bloom?"
The tired filly hummed an inquisitive sound, too tired to vocalize properly.
"...Ah love ya, Sugarcube...More'n anything. Ya hear me?"
Apple Bloom smiled faintly, mumbling a quiet, "Ah love ya too, sis..."
Applejack stepped back, nodding to Snape. He quietly crept to the edge of the bed, pulling his wand from his robes and pointing it at the sleeping filly.
"Avada Kedavra."
WE NEED MORE SNAPE-JOKES!!!
Please let the information about the elements be on page 394
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4990047 Snape Joke #394: I AM TIRED OF THESE MUTHAFUCKIN SNAPES ON THIS MUTHAFUCKIN PLANE!!!
4990033
You...I...I need...I need to go think for a while. Please excuse me.
4990073 I'm crying too.
4990058
Nice one
Also ten points from Gryffindor for use of childish humor
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4990080 I needed to be childish. I just wrote the most depressing thing I've EVER attempted. And I am crying. Like, a lot.
4990033
This is the most entertaining fic i have read in ages!
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