I was hoping Twi would rip apart Rainbow, at least verbally. Now's Twi's going to become like Trixie. Great. "It is destroyed- by true love. And that love is not for you." Ouch. Now RD and AJ will be about fucking everypony in sight now that Twi is utterly destroyed. At least on the inside.
299854 Twi was already like Trixie- watch Lesson Zero, Feeling Pinkie Keen, etc. Twi thought she was the perfect mate for whom she THOUGHT Applejack was- and she was mistaken. She was not being honest with herself- or with Applejack. Compare to Dash's basic obnoxious frankness.
You will get your vindictive satisfaction over AJ and Dash's relationship one day- but not in THIS book, and not forever. Just for a while. I will say no more. THIS book has a lil' more catastrophe to do, and then ponies build back up what they can from what they've got.
299936 Trixie faced down an 'Ursa Major' believing it could destroy her. Twi was scarier- but Trixie had way, way more at stake this time. I'm very glad she won you over, because she can't just win you over- she has to do more than that. Fortunately, she is nothing if not resourceful. She really is Dark Side Twilight, and they're opposite sides of the same coin- a coin that has flipped, through these upheavals.
This is definitely one of, if not the best clop fic on this site. your portrayal of the characters is is true to their personality's and is also deep and compelling. What i think I like most about this is that when you write your sex scenes, you do it with a care and love for the ponies that comes through strongly in your story. rather than force an unfeeling sexual relationship between ponies via author fiat, you let the emotions and hearts of the characters lead them. you do a wonderful job and I really look forward to the next chapter... and the chapter after that... and all of them really
Oh my princess, that actually made sense. It made so much sense and yet I'm too stupid to really process all the emotion in it. There are no words that I can say that express my sentiments right now more than "Good job, this is perfect, keep on writing it you beautiful bastard."
Really, I have nothing better to say. Thank you for putting so much effort into this fic. That was intense.
I'm confused exactly where the story is going after this, you say it has "a lil' more catastrophe" to do so I get that you have something. I can only assume Twilight and Trixie hook up and heal each other's mental conditions and live happily ever after. That would make a few emotionally packed chapters I suppose. And Twilight/Applejack/Rainbow Dash have some talking to do... And Applejack needs to convince Twilight to make the bit again, and Twilight has to decide to share... Never mind, I know exactly where this will go, whoops lol. There's tons of loose ends to tie up, so keep up the amazing work, Applejinx!
Seriously, there's just too much win in this whole series, neigh, all of your writing. This image sums it all up, I don't know what to say because it all makes complete sense. The way you wrote it was so definitive that I don't feel like there's anything to discuss here in the comments... images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/128366815449780000WowJustWow.jpg
Holy CRAP. D: You've achieved the impossibru. You've .... you've made me feel utter complete sympathy for Trixie...not to mention grudging admiration.
...
...... Thanks. You've completely overloaded my synapses. It goes without saying: "Tracking this Target". Very few writers manage the kind of turnabout you've just pulled off. You have a gift ; cherish it.
... Wow. I'm REALLY impressed. I'm utterly fascinated by the fact Trixie was able to talk Twilight down, even at her own cost. Talk about casting from hit points.
And that was a very, very nice little nod to how Twilight thought of AJ... using 'he' instead of 'she'... Twi was REALLY gone, but somehow, somehow, Trixie brought her back. She's broken, like Trixie is... but, being broken myself in some regards as well, I know that finding somepony that's been through the same hell makes you stronger, and you pick up the pieces... and you meld everything back together, as best you can. What was once a piece of stained glass is now a mosaic, for better or worse.
301072 >The way you wrote it was so definitive that I don't feel like there's anything to discuss here in the comments...
I'm so happy that the chapter had the effect I needed it to have- just remember, when you say a thing like "so definitive there's nothing I can say in comments", I'll never see a penny from all of this- it's fanfic, what's more it's clop. When the chapter is done, it'll be on to the next chapter, then the next book, and so on. The only thing I'll have (apart from all the follows) is the comments during that time that a chapter's just come out, which tell me whether I succeeded or failed to do what I was trying to do.
As 'Trixie' starts to come in for a landing (which I hope can be sweet enough to justify all th' heartbreak and tribulation, and sexy enough to be a fitting conclusion), thank you for lettin' me know you're there and you care. It means a lot to me.
That's why I write a lot of my comments! For a while a few weeks back, in every fic I read I made sure to comment and minimally thank the author for their work. I should start doing that again. I've lost the habit, and it was a very good habit.
I'll make sure to comment on every chapter! (I think there's one or two chapters here that I never commented on... but what the hay, I'll just keep up to date on new ones )
Wow, that chapter was heavy. I mean like, TF2 heavy, but worse. Me, I'm just glad Twilight had Trixie there to stop her and bring her out of it. Kinda frightened of where the fic might've went otherwise... great story, as always! Just kinda sad some people get scared off by the clop and thus misses out on this great story.
I know it's weird to say this, but it's kind of nice to read a clopfic that doesn't have clop in every single chapter? Love the character development, really changed my view on this whole series being futa-dominated hardcore love.
I found this fic way back when I saw you talking about it on Ponychan. I looked at the description at the time that read “futa clopfic” and then reserved it for when I would have some spare beer and could get hammered and thus suspend my disbelief for clop. You see, I don’t normally read clop, and even when I do I only read it so I can think of the characters as full characters that relate to me in every way, including sexually.
In any case, I had this fic stashed to the back of my queue for the past couple of months to read some other time. But this weekend after a slow week of chapter updates for fics that I’ve been reading, I decided to just man up and read it sober. So I persevered and decided to start reading. To be honest I didn’t quite know what to expect, well actually that’s a lie, I knew exactly what to expect; Ponies fucking with “girl dicks.” But there was something here that kept me reading despite the excessive use of the word ponypuss. (Which to be honest had me snickering every time I read it)
The reality is that you have a pretty good story here. It definitely makes for an interesting read despite the sex scenes. There are a bunch of things you can attribute this to:
1) You write well. There are very few grammar and spelling mistakes, but the thing that stands out to me the most is that you don’t overslur Applejack’s dialogue. I can’t tell you how many fics I just go “fuck this” because it’s frustrating to read your favourite character as “AH SUR’ DA RECK’N THAYT AH SLEEP’N WIT MAH BR’THR BIG MAYC, YIP YUP YEEHAW!” You also don’t follow the common shipping practice of reducing each character to a blubbering mess, which is also fantastic. 2) You have an excellent grasp for the characters. You rarely write anything that I can’t read in their voice, which helps with immersion very well. You do a very good job at developing characters while still being able to have them still remain close to their canon character. Again, can’t tell you how many stories are ruined by Rainbow Dash becoming a blubbering whiny bitch. You also do a good job at developing interesting and plausible backstories for the characters in question, which does a good job of showing how and why they developed into the personality that they are. 3) The plot is relatable, if not a touch clichéd. The line which I’m referring to is the Appledash-Twijack love triangle that seems what the story is focused on. While you can begin to see what is going on pretty easily; (strain between the person who are and the person you want to be), you do it in a way that feels right and interesting. It definitely relates to this community specifically because you focus on the idea of gender roles pretty heavily, after all, such a large part of the Brony community is shirking the idea of gender roles and expectations. (Hell I’m a 20 year old watching My Little Pony, still weirds me out that I’m here writing a elaborate critique for a fanfiction of it.) 4) The last chapter invokes some real emotion, from me at least. It kind of saddens you to see the realisation of Twilight that Applejack is not the mare she wants her to be. (Which reminds me a whole bunch of Eowyns romance with Aragorn in the Return of the King movie. If you thought of that kudos you’re awesome) I hope that they remain friends in the conclusion, and Twilight doesn’t just jump into the arms of Trixie, but hey, I’ve liked it thus far and I’m sure you’ll conclude it in a satisfying way. Well I guess I covered everything I wanted to. This is a very good fic, in an interesting way, because again, I rarely read clop, but to be honest, I’m happy I did, cause it was certainly a fic worth reading. Wow I only just realized that I’ve textwalled you.
Sorry about that...
PS: I like the idea that Earth Pony magic causes them to go berserk and ravage their partner in the sack, it’s a cool way to balance the races out. Just something that I thought was a nice touch.
I'm not sure how to do justice to it despite almost understanding perfectly what just happened to twilight... dear sweet twilight...
You made me actually like Trixie through all this despite her cannon character being insufferable at best. That was a hell of a ride and I still haven't finished this thing.
That was intense! I was actually scared of "Dark Star Twilight" before Trixie got through to her... Twi broke Trixie, and Trixie managed to dent Twi. Now it has come full circle.
That was a pretty intense chapter right there. I kind of expected Trixie to end up falling in love with Twi. Oh, and good job Trixie. I'm glad you calmed Twi down, because she would have lost everything if she did what she planned.
Trixie's last line... my fingers are shaking. I cried, I wept like a baby. After all the buildup, it really was that simple wasn't it? Thank you, I am so glad I read this.
Very curious. I hadn't thought of Twilight like this, but it's very interesting to read. I don't know if I've commented before, but I've been really enjoying this story. My horn has also been enjoy it. X3
10117886 Thank you back in the days of the first Trixieverse book, I used to have commenters. I'm delighted to see that readers can still speak up. I do hope you're enjoying the story, because I've got a sequel eventually coming out… but rather than book two, it will be book 10 so if you do like this sort of thing, oh my is there a lot more there for you to read. It's become sort of the Discworld of pony clopfic, over the years.
I was hoping Twi would rip apart Rainbow, at least verbally. Now's Twi's going to become like Trixie. Great. "It is destroyed- by true love. And that love is not for you." Ouch. Now RD and AJ will be about fucking everypony in sight now that Twi is utterly destroyed. At least on the inside.
Wowzers. Talk about mood whiplash. That first scene was so tender and sweet, and then...
I didn't think Trixie had it in her. I am very glad she did. She is my new favorite character.
I'm not going to go off on NaturalGlitch this time, because it's clear we have irreconcilable differences of opinion.
I think from this, Twilight will rise anew, with a much deeper wisdom. She didn't go insane with rage, Trixie stopped her.
I can so easily see this strange relationship saving them both.
And I, for one, welcome the strange, twilight mistress who will come from this.
299854
Twi was already like Trixie- watch Lesson Zero, Feeling Pinkie Keen, etc. Twi thought she was the perfect mate for whom she THOUGHT Applejack was- and she was mistaken. She was not being honest with herself- or with Applejack. Compare to Dash's basic obnoxious frankness.
You will get your vindictive satisfaction over AJ and Dash's relationship one day- but not in THIS book, and not forever. Just for a while. I will say no more. THIS book has a lil' more catastrophe to do, and then ponies build back up what they can from what they've got.
299936
Trixie faced down an 'Ursa Major' believing it could destroy her. Twi was scarier- but Trixie had way, way more at stake this time. I'm very glad she won you over, because she can't just win you over- she has to do more than that. Fortunately, she is nothing if not resourceful. She really is Dark Side Twilight, and they're opposite sides of the same coin- a coin that has flipped, through these upheavals.
This is definitely one of, if not the best clop fic on this site. your portrayal of the characters is is true to their personality's and is also deep and compelling. What i think I like most about this is that when you write your sex scenes, you do it with a care and love for the ponies that comes through strongly in your story. rather than force an unfeeling sexual relationship between ponies via author fiat, you let the emotions and hearts of the characters lead them. you do a wonderful job and I really look forward to the next chapter... and the chapter after that... and all of them really
2 trixies? THIS FIC HAS BECOME WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED! <3 Keep up the good work!
Well then.
Oh my princess, that actually made sense. It made so much sense and yet I'm too stupid to really process all the emotion in it. There are no words that I can say that express my sentiments right now more than "Good job, this is perfect, keep on writing it you beautiful bastard."
Really, I have nothing better to say. Thank you for putting so much effort into this fic. That was intense.
I'm confused exactly where the story is going after this, you say it has "a lil' more catastrophe" to do so I get that you have something. I can only assume Twilight and Trixie hook up and heal each other's mental conditions and live happily ever after. That would make a few emotionally packed chapters I suppose. And Twilight/Applejack/Rainbow Dash have some talking to do... And Applejack needs to convince Twilight to make the bit again, and Twilight has to decide to share...
Never mind, I know exactly where this will go, whoops lol. There's tons of loose ends to tie up, so keep up the amazing work, Applejinx!
Seriously, there's just too much win in this whole series, neigh, all of your writing. This image sums it all up, I don't know what to say because it all makes complete sense. The way you wrote it was so definitive that I don't feel like there's anything to discuss here in the comments...
images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/128366815449780000WowJustWow.jpg
Holy CRAP. D: You've achieved the impossibru. You've .... you've made me feel utter complete sympathy for Trixie...not to mention grudging admiration.
...
...... Thanks. You've completely overloaded my synapses. It goes without saying: "Tracking this Target". Very few writers manage the kind of turnabout you've just pulled off. You have a gift ; cherish it.
... Wow. I'm REALLY impressed. I'm utterly fascinated by the fact Trixie was able to talk Twilight down, even at her own cost. Talk about casting from hit points.
And that was a very, very nice little nod to how Twilight thought of AJ... using 'he' instead of 'she'... Twi was REALLY gone, but somehow, somehow, Trixie brought her back. She's broken, like Trixie is... but, being broken myself in some regards as well, I know that finding somepony that's been through the same hell makes you stronger, and you pick up the pieces... and you meld everything back together, as best you can. What was once a piece of stained glass is now a mosaic, for better or worse.
Well done.
301072
>The way you wrote it was so definitive that I don't feel like there's anything to discuss here in the comments...
I'm so happy that the chapter had the effect I needed it to have- just remember, when you say a thing like "so definitive there's nothing I can say in comments", I'll never see a penny from all of this- it's fanfic, what's more it's clop. When the chapter is done, it'll be on to the next chapter, then the next book, and so on. The only thing I'll have (apart from all the follows) is the comments during that time that a chapter's just come out, which tell me whether I succeeded or failed to do what I was trying to do.
As 'Trixie' starts to come in for a landing (which I hope can be sweet enough to justify all th' heartbreak and tribulation, and sexy enough to be a fitting conclusion), thank you for lettin' me know you're there and you care. It means a lot to me.
301717 Of course!
That's why I write a lot of my comments! For a while a few weeks back, in every fic I read I made sure to comment and minimally thank the author for their work. I should start doing that again. I've lost the habit, and it was a very good habit.
I'll make sure to comment on every chapter! (I think there's one or two chapters here that I never commented on... but what the hay, I'll just keep up to date on new ones )
talk about getting your beauty sleep...
There are no words I can use to describe how I feel about this. Oh wait yes there is Wow Just Wow.
Wow, that chapter was heavy. I mean like, TF2 heavy, but worse. Me, I'm just glad Twilight had Trixie there to stop her and bring her out of it. Kinda frightened of where the fic might've went otherwise... great story, as always! Just kinda sad some people get scared off by the clop and thus misses out on this great story.
Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Excellent work.
I know it's weird to say this, but it's kind of nice to read a clopfic that doesn't have clop in every single chapter? Love the character development, really changed my view on this whole series being futa-dominated hardcore love.
I found this fic way back when I saw you talking about it on Ponychan. I looked at the description at the time that read “futa clopfic” and then reserved it for when I would have some spare beer and could get hammered and thus suspend my disbelief for clop. You see, I don’t normally read clop, and even when I do I only read it so I can think of the characters as full characters that relate to me in every way, including sexually.
In any case, I had this fic stashed to the back of my queue for the past couple of months to read some other time. But this weekend after a slow week of chapter updates for fics that I’ve been reading, I decided to just man up and read it sober. So I persevered and decided to start reading. To be honest I didn’t quite know what to expect, well actually that’s a lie, I knew exactly what to expect; Ponies fucking with “girl dicks.” But there was something here that kept me reading despite the excessive use of the word ponypuss. (Which to be honest had me snickering every time I read it)
The reality is that you have a pretty good story here. It definitely makes for an interesting read despite the sex scenes. There are a bunch of things you can attribute this to:
1) You write well. There are very few grammar and spelling mistakes, but the thing that stands out to me the most is that you don’t overslur Applejack’s dialogue. I can’t tell you how many fics I just go “fuck this” because it’s frustrating to read your favourite character as “AH SUR’ DA RECK’N THAYT AH SLEEP’N WIT MAH BR’THR BIG MAYC, YIP YUP YEEHAW!” You also don’t follow the common shipping practice of reducing each character to a blubbering mess, which is also fantastic.
2) You have an excellent grasp for the characters. You rarely write anything that I can’t read in their voice, which helps with immersion very well. You do a very good job at developing characters while still being able to have them still remain close to their canon character. Again, can’t tell you how many stories are ruined by Rainbow Dash becoming a blubbering whiny bitch. You also do a good job at developing interesting and plausible backstories for the characters in question, which does a good job of showing how and why they developed into the personality that they are.
3) The plot is relatable, if not a touch clichéd. The line which I’m referring to is the Appledash-Twijack love triangle that seems what the story is focused on. While you can begin to see what is going on pretty easily; (strain between the person who are and the person you want to be), you do it in a way that feels right and interesting. It definitely relates to this community specifically because you focus on the idea of gender roles pretty heavily, after all, such a large part of the Brony community is shirking the idea of gender roles and expectations. (Hell I’m a 20 year old watching My Little Pony, still weirds me out that I’m here writing a elaborate critique for a fanfiction of it.)
4) The last chapter invokes some real emotion, from me at least. It kind of saddens you to see the realisation of Twilight that Applejack is not the mare she wants her to be. (Which reminds me a whole bunch of Eowyns romance with Aragorn in the Return of the King movie. If you thought of that kudos you’re awesome) I hope that they remain friends in the conclusion, and Twilight doesn’t just jump into the arms of Trixie, but hey, I’ve liked it thus far and I’m sure you’ll conclude it in a satisfying way.
Well I guess I covered everything I wanted to. This is a very good fic, in an interesting way, because again, I rarely read clop, but to be honest, I’m happy I did, cause it was certainly a fic worth reading. Wow I only just realized that I’ve textwalled you.
Sorry about that...
PS: I like the idea that Earth Pony magic causes them to go berserk and ravage their partner in the sack, it’s a cool way to balance the races out. Just something that I thought was a nice touch.
That was... powerful...
I'm not sure how to do justice to it despite almost understanding perfectly what just happened to twilight... dear sweet twilight...
You made me actually like Trixie through all this despite her cannon character being insufferable at best. That was a hell of a ride and I still haven't finished this thing.
Is it safe to come out?
That was intense! I was actually scared of "Dark Star Twilight" before Trixie got through to her...
Twi broke Trixie, and Trixie managed to dent Twi. Now it has come full circle.
Sh!t...just...went...DOWN
That was a pretty intense chapter right there. I kind of expected Trixie to end up falling in love with Twi. Oh, and good job Trixie. I'm glad you calmed Twi down, because she would have lost everything if she did what she planned.
The vision of Twilights enduring rage is forever seared into my brain. God dammit.
Trixie's last line... my fingers are shaking.
I cried, I wept like a baby. After all the buildup, it really was that simple wasn't it?
Thank you, I am so glad I read this.
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=lyrics+one+is+the+loneliest+number&&view=detail&mid=83F85F0627BC4587FF7D83F85F0627BC4587FF7D&&FORM=VRDGAR
Very curious. I hadn't thought of Twilight like this, but it's very interesting to read. I don't know if I've commented before, but I've been really enjoying this story. My horn has also been enjoy it. X3
10117886
Thank you back in the days of the first Trixieverse book, I used to have commenters. I'm delighted to see that readers can still speak up.
I do hope you're enjoying the story, because I've got a sequel eventually coming out… but rather than book two, it will be book 10 so if you do like this sort of thing, oh my is there a lot more there for you to read. It's become sort of the Discworld of pony clopfic, over the years.