Trixie's clearly bucked in the head on *so* many levels, and she's doing *exactly* what she promised she'd do. She's pulling Twi into her world, in all the worst ways. And, at the same time, Twi's just...
And all of this is so well written that I'm watering up here. *shakes head* Wow.
See, this is a perfect example of how good clop actually happens for a reason, while crappy clop just happens because some idiot wanted to clop. There's actually purpose between these ponies fucking the shit out of each other, and that's why I love this story.
I wonder, did you actually take a psychology class or did you just use something you came across with some added research? The psychosis on that was very in-depth and well though out. Good job. Keep up the good work.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2128-roflbot.jpg
You know, I've never really believed in the whole "willing suspension of disbelief" itthing -- except when it comes to explicit material. That requires more of a "willing suspension of disgust." And, this chapter spends a hell of a lot of that, for sure.
No, I didn't like it. Yes, I get that I wasn't supposed to like it. Now, I'll bitch about it. Because I can.
By comparing and contrasting Trixie's Magic Bit: "Switch, Thrown" to Elfen Lied: "Koushi ~ Beginn."
If you are not familiar with Elfin Lied, consider yourself lucky. It is many things: most notably slasher horror, a bizarre love story, and just about the most explicit gore one can show on Japanese TV (a nasty ploy by the production studio: the finale was banned, forcing viewers to buy the DVD). I happen to really like the characters, though I've heard others call it the Rocky Horror Picture Show of cartoons, the sort of thing you show people because you can't believe something like it exists.
What distinguishes this show, which "does not give two shits about decency" from this chapter of mostly-happy (if certainly) different pony sex? Well, let's compare their respective darkest moments. (I really, really hope this chapter is the nadir -- anything worse may very well ruin the whole story for me)
However, note the presence of the table in Elfin Lied. That's the difference: discretion: the horrible gorn show is actually willing to say, "You know what? There are some things I don't have to show. I can leave them to the audience's imagination, and that's okay.
I do not understand why you didn't cut away after > “Y’r g’nna get it! U’ll try to be g’ntle... oh, who c’res!” to, for example, Twi in the tub utterly disgusted with herself yet referring to Trix only as "the bitch" in ironic reprisal of her comments about "depersonalization."
But, hay, that's expecting at least a modicum of subtlety. At least ARMS-level.
Okay, that was enough verbal abuse. I'm done. And the next chapter is back to where it should be, so kudos on that.
227670 First of all- there can't really be anything worse than the cataclysm of "Switch, Thrown". Not in the sense of Dark Twilight, at any rate. You also have to understand Twilight is absolutely correct in that Trixie DID goad her into it. They are both so smart that the verbal sparring is like a chess game, and they're both pretty ruthless, plus Twilight has a vested interest in NOT being out-kinked by Trixie. To hang on to her stallion she has to compel Trixie to work with her- and she's not about to admit Trixie's dragging her onto foreign ground.
And Trixie's certain that she'll be able to drag Twilight onto foreign ground, and render her a crying twinkpony, hopelessly squicked.
I COULDN'T cut away. You have to be inside Twi's head, rationalizing and believing with her that Trixie is a hostile adversary in a very strange sort of fight- you have to remember what Twi doesn't know, about Trixie's history with Aftershock and the way she's capable of being dominated and how that's her real fetish- and you have to realize with the same sickening shock as Twi that everything is not as it seemed.
If I cut away, you haven't shared that experience with Twilight (in her head) and you don't share her guilt- and it can't touch you in the same way as Twilight tries to find some kind of decent path out of all this, feeling guilt for what she'd done, and for that reason feeling compelled to accept what Trixie's become (even though she has no idea what to expect). Without Twilight's guilt, she just throws up her hooves and says 'you're crazy!' and the situation becomes so much less complicated.
Her guilt is even causing her to lean hard- too hard- on the 'healthy' relationship with Applejack, and demand far too much from it. Suddenly it HAS to be the most epic thing ever, because she's paid an unbearable price for it. If you don't have to sit through that with her you can't understand how far from her true self she's allowed herself to be goaded.
It's really important that you didn't get to cut away and then see Twi in the tub disgusted with herself (but otherwise, attitudes unchanged). Trixie can never be 'the bitch' to her again, even though Trixie is now acting as such, bigtime. Trixie is a living, grovelling reminder of how horribly she overstepped trying to get her way. If the memory haunts you, it's supposed to.
It's not that she meant well. She meant to not be power-gamed. She wasn't bargaining on THIS, and she's haunted.
If there is one thing I've learned from the internet, it is, yes, things can always get worse. One could, for example, have taken the description to "Party Girl" levels of visceralousness.
Anyway, I'd like to set aside whether or not the rape scene is vital to the story (we've reached crystallization there) and explore another point.
>you have to realize with the same sickening shock as Twi that everything is not as it seemed
I see how you set it up, and it should have worked. People like to believe good things about themselves. In this case: Twilight is a good little pony who doesn't rape. The reader is a good person who doesn't enjoy rapefics.
Violating both at the same time should make me empathize with Twilight. Should, but didn't, and I have some idea's why.
(Ugh, I hate saying "sorry, but it didn't work," since I imagine there was also an element of I am a good person who wouldn't write rapefic involved. You've sacrificed more than any of us.)
On reflection, I see that there are two "switches thrown" in this chapter. The first is the obvious one in Trixie's head. The second is where Twilight realizes >how horribly she overstepped trying to get her way and that somehow making amends to Trixie has been added to the list of her goals (I guess?).
But, I completely missed the second, and I'm not sure I have a solid handle on it now, even.
I know when someone hurts me, I have to reactions: retaliation and conciliation, the first much swifter than the second, and without a doubt, Twilight feels hurt by Trixie proving her a rapist. For a short time, she lives pure loathing, which is a lot like loving in that it reflects back on the self. Twilight hates what she's doing, and Trixie for making her do it.
Maybe that element could be clearer. At some point, the feeling fades and may be replaced with a commitment (in love and in hate). I got lost when that switch from hate to not-choosing-to-hate happened.
I can empathize with it taking a little longer. Perhaps Twi falls asleep angry and it isn't until the next morning that she wakes up hungry for forgiveness.
Hmm, I guess my conclusion is the hate-fucking would hit me to greater effect with more hate and less fucking, though I can appreciate that writing Twilight's mind drowning in the stuff would be deeply unpleasant as well.
It just keeps getting deeper... you turned a clop fic into a dramatic work of art made from futa. I'm not sure if I should some how thank you in some grand manner for writing this woundingly in depth physiological journey of a plot or try to find and hurt you for screwing my head up so badly and raising my standards so impossibly high that I myself am afraid to attempt to write something knowing it won't really stack up. I'll probably do nether seeing as how it's just literature but now you have the smallest notion of what the power of your writing does. You could send nations to peace and to war with a few well placed letters playing on people's minds.
I am a psychiatrist. Although there are some crude, unpolished details, I just have to say to you: this chapter is pure genius (chapter 16). You caught in it in a sublime way the reality about the most twisted kind of a dependant personality disorder. Wow. Just... wow.
This is... wow. How to put it... it's... almost rather heartbreaking, to see Trixie in such a state... and for Twilight to figure it out.
... I'm not sure who to feel more sorry for.
This... this is... it is *so* freakin' messed up.
And I can't help but love it.
Trixie's clearly bucked in the head on *so* many levels, and she's doing *exactly* what she promised she'd do. She's pulling Twi into her world, in all the worst ways. And, at the same time, Twi's just...
And all of this is so well written that I'm watering up here. *shakes head* Wow.
Wow... you sure took this ride down a twist I weren't really prepared for... and I love it! The emotions, the spirit, the excitement!
For all what it's worth I beg you, please don't stop writing! The world will be a sad place to loose such talent.
See, this is a perfect example of how good clop actually happens for a reason, while crappy clop just happens because some idiot wanted to clop. There's actually purpose between these ponies fucking the shit out of each other, and that's why I love this story.
Even if that was pretty fucked up lol
I wonder, did you actually take a psychology class or did you just use something you came across with some added research? The psychosis on that was very in-depth and well though out. Good job. Keep up the good work.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2128-roflbot.jpg
Jesus fucking Christ. Fucking his disciples. On the grave of god. With a spiked crucifix.
I don't have the gift of blasphemy enough to reply to that chapter.
My mind reels from the perversity. I feel like ants are crawling on my soul.
You have a gift. I'll give you that. And it is great. I must admit.
But right now french-kissing Cthulhu seems like vanilla sex.
Fuck.
@Chatoyance:
For the blasphemy:
Anally rape me with christ's worthless, rotten cock while Mary gobbles me raw, but that was good.
@Applejinx:
Simply masterful depiction, you truly have a gift.
MORE!
You know, I've never really believed in the whole "willing suspension of disbelief" itthing -- except when it comes to explicit material. That requires more of a "willing suspension of disgust." And, this chapter spends a hell of a lot of that, for sure.
No, I didn't like it. Yes, I get that I wasn't supposed to like it. Now, I'll bitch about it. Because I can.
By comparing and contrasting Trixie's Magic Bit: "Switch, Thrown" to Elfen Lied: "Koushi ~ Beginn."
If you are not familiar with Elfin Lied, consider yourself lucky. It is many things: most notably slasher horror, a bizarre love story, and just about the most explicit gore one can show on Japanese TV (a nasty ploy by the production studio: the finale was banned, forcing viewers to buy the DVD). I happen to really like the characters, though I've heard others call it the Rocky Horror Picture Show of cartoons, the sort of thing you show people because you can't believe something like it exists.
Actually, here's the review in question, also notable for the "Relax-o-Vision" censored version,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eb8ZpT6sU54
What distinguishes this show, which "does not give two shits about decency" from this chapter of mostly-happy (if certainly) different pony sex? Well, let's compare their respective darkest moments. (I really, really hope this chapter is the nadir -- anything worse may very well ruin the whole story for me)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euUUxg0XnDM (fair warning: while not the worst in the show, quite violent. No nudity.)
However, note the presence of the table in Elfin Lied. That's the difference: discretion: the horrible gorn show is actually willing to say, "You know what? There are some things I don't have to show. I can leave them to the audience's imagination, and that's okay.
I do not understand why you didn't cut away after
> “Y’r g’nna get it! U’ll try to be g’ntle... oh, who c’res!”
to, for example, Twi in the tub utterly disgusted with herself yet referring to Trix only as "the bitch" in ironic reprisal of her comments about "depersonalization."
But, hay, that's expecting at least a modicum of subtlety. At least ARMS-level.
Okay, that was enough verbal abuse. I'm done. And the next chapter is back to where it should be, so kudos on that.
227670
First of all- there can't really be anything worse than the cataclysm of "Switch, Thrown". Not in the sense of Dark Twilight, at any rate. You also have to understand Twilight is absolutely correct in that Trixie DID goad her into it. They are both so smart that the verbal sparring is like a chess game, and they're both pretty ruthless, plus Twilight has a vested interest in NOT being out-kinked by Trixie. To hang on to her stallion she has to compel Trixie to work with her- and she's not about to admit Trixie's dragging her onto foreign ground.
And Trixie's certain that she'll be able to drag Twilight onto foreign ground, and render her a crying twinkpony, hopelessly squicked.
I COULDN'T cut away. You have to be inside Twi's head, rationalizing and believing with her that Trixie is a hostile adversary in a very strange sort of fight- you have to remember what Twi doesn't know, about Trixie's history with Aftershock and the way she's capable of being dominated and how that's her real fetish- and you have to realize with the same sickening shock as Twi that everything is not as it seemed.
If I cut away, you haven't shared that experience with Twilight (in her head) and you don't share her guilt- and it can't touch you in the same way as Twilight tries to find some kind of decent path out of all this, feeling guilt for what she'd done, and for that reason feeling compelled to accept what Trixie's become (even though she has no idea what to expect). Without Twilight's guilt, she just throws up her hooves and says 'you're crazy!' and the situation becomes so much less complicated.
Her guilt is even causing her to lean hard- too hard- on the 'healthy' relationship with Applejack, and demand far too much from it. Suddenly it HAS to be the most epic thing ever, because she's paid an unbearable price for it. If you don't have to sit through that with her you can't understand how far from her true self she's allowed herself to be goaded.
It's really important that you didn't get to cut away and then see Twi in the tub disgusted with herself (but otherwise, attitudes unchanged). Trixie can never be 'the bitch' to her again, even though Trixie is now acting as such, bigtime. Trixie is a living, grovelling reminder of how horribly she overstepped trying to get her way. If the memory haunts you, it's supposed to.
It's not that she meant well. She meant to not be power-gamed. She wasn't bargaining on THIS, and she's haunted.
If there is one thing I've learned from the internet, it is, yes, things can always get worse. One could, for example, have taken the description to "Party Girl" levels of visceralousness.
Anyway, I'd like to set aside whether or not the rape scene is vital to the story (we've reached crystallization there) and explore another point.
>you have to realize with the same sickening shock as Twi that everything is not as it seemed
I see how you set it up, and it should have worked. People like to believe good things about themselves. In this case:
Twilight is a good little pony who doesn't rape.
The reader is a good person who doesn't enjoy rapefics.
Violating both at the same time should make me empathize with Twilight. Should, but didn't, and I have some idea's why.
(Ugh, I hate saying "sorry, but it didn't work," since I imagine there was also an element of I am a good person who wouldn't write rapefic involved. You've sacrificed more than any of us.)
On reflection, I see that there are two "switches thrown" in this chapter. The first is the obvious one in Trixie's head. The second is where Twilight realizes
>how horribly she overstepped trying to get her way
and that somehow making amends to Trixie has been added to the list of her goals (I guess?).
But, I completely missed the second, and I'm not sure I have a solid handle on it now, even.
I know when someone hurts me, I have to reactions: retaliation and conciliation, the first much swifter than the second, and without a doubt, Twilight feels hurt by Trixie proving her a rapist. For a short time, she lives pure loathing, which is a lot like loving in that it reflects back on the self. Twilight hates what she's doing, and Trixie for making her do it.
Maybe that element could be clearer. At some point, the feeling fades and may be replaced with a commitment (in love and in hate). I got lost when that switch from hate to not-choosing-to-hate happened.
I can empathize with it taking a little longer. Perhaps Twi falls asleep angry and it isn't until the next morning that she wakes up hungry for forgiveness.
Hmm, I guess my conclusion is the hate-fucking would hit me to greater effect with more hate and less fucking, though I can appreciate that writing Twilight's mind drowning in the stuff would be deeply unpleasant as well.
It just keeps getting deeper... you turned a clop fic into a dramatic work of art made from futa. I'm not sure if I should some how thank you in some grand manner for writing this woundingly in depth physiological journey of a plot or try to find and hurt you for screwing my head up so badly and raising my standards so impossibly high that I myself am afraid to attempt to write something knowing it won't really stack up. I'll probably do nether seeing as how it's just literature but now you have the smallest notion of what the power of your writing does. You could send nations to peace and to war with a few well placed letters playing on people's minds.
Damn, that's some impressive writing.
Wait... Wait! WaIT!
Twilight goes from 'sweet lovin' to 'dominatrix'...
What a twist!
Twighlight done gone crazy now! DAMN YOU TRIXIE AND YOU BUCKING MIND-GAMES!!!
Holy hell, that was insane. Trixie and all of her mind-games. Still, it seems that I read a lot about Trixie being such a sub.
I am a psychiatrist. Although there are some crude, unpolished details, I just have to say to you: this chapter is pure genius (chapter 16). You caught in it in a sublime way the reality about the most twisted kind of a dependant personality disorder. Wow. Just... wow.